How Had I Never Seen..."Xanadu"?
Thursday, April 30, 2020 at 11:20AM 
In these stressful days, it can be nice to sit back and lose ourselves in the escapist marvels of cinema. Of course, what constitutes escapism varies from person to person. Some love the bloodlust of gory pictures while others revel in good midcentury melodrama. Whatever your poison of choice is, now seems like a good time to indulge. For me, one surefire way of dispelling the doom and gloom of day-to-day life is to bathe in the glamour of movie musicals. Other prime sources of stress-relief are those movies which are so terrible, so unbelievably miscalculated, that their turpitude becomes entertaining. The logical conclusion is that there's no greater joy than watching a movie musical that's so bad it's good.
Well, that's precisely what I did one monotonous afternoon, trading in the frustrations of reality for the disco disaster fabulousness of Xanadu…
How do you go about describing, let alone explaining, something as odd as Xanadu? I can't say I know the answer, but let's try to start by doing some plot summarization. This 1980 calamity inspired by the disco craze of the late 70s revolves around two central figures, an artist and his muse. Such archetypes of ancient times that are here given a neon tinted makeover for the last days of disco. Our artist is Sonny Malone, an improbably named painter of middling talent who devotes his days to creating sized-up versions of album covers. The muse, on the other hand, is an Aussie accented Olympian deity that goes by many names. In this tale, she's mostly known as Kira.
One day, after having teleported out of a chintzy mural, Kira goes on a roller-skating sojourn and bumps into Sonny, forever changing his life. He becomes obsessed with finding where that mysterious blonde comes from and ends up crossing paths with another one of Kira's admirers. He's Gene Kelly playing an old geezer who was once part of a big band orchestra but ended up becoming a construction mogul after losing contact with his muse. The name of this elderly fellow is Danny McGuire, though it's not clear if he's supposed to be the same Danny McGuire Kelly portrayed in 1944's Cover Girl alongside Rita Hayworth.
Funnily enough, that's not the only Hayworth-starring musical that may be connected to Xanadu. 1947's Down to Earth comes to mind, for it tells a similar story of the muse Terpsichore coming down to the realm of mortals to inspire and fall in love with an artist. In that classic, there's a pointed tension between art and commerce, between the need for erudite elucidation and popular entertainment. Xanadu features a similar dynamic, though it's less complicated and its conclusions. In this disco inferno, there's a battle being fought between old school music and modern rock, with Danny and Sonny quarreling over them.
Well, "quarrel" might be an excessive expression, since that would require actor Michael Beck to be a bit livelier than a plank of wood and such wonders seem to be far beyond his talents. Instead, Danny and Sonny debate the matter in tepid conversation and let their tastes fuse into an unholy abomination - a roller disco by the name of Xanadu. In one of the movie's campiest moments, this is illustrated by having dueling musical numbers, caricatures of the styles in the discussion, slowly converge in a lycra-clad cacophony. It sounds like a fun idea, but it goes on for too long and the lensing of the thing is far beneath any notion of basic filmmaking aptitude.
Around half of the numbers are like that. There's an abundance of unimpressive studio sets and misused wide shots, arrhythmic editing, and bland lip-syncing making musical interludes feel like stodgy bores. The other half, however, makes up for its lack of technical virtuosity with bat-shit insanity. Seeing Gene Kelly roller-skating while wearing a mountain of fringe and then be multiplied by kaleidoscopic split screens isn't something I knew I needed, but Xanadu was kind enough to provide me with it. The same can be said about Olivia Newton-John as Kira turning into animated zoology during a love song. And then there's the finale, an explosion of camp nonsense that seems to be aiming for classic Busby Berkeley style but ends up being a hilariously excessive bit of kitsch instead.
It's ridiculous and beyond bad, but it's also one hell of a ride full of entertainment that comes in many forms, both intentional and otherwise. For instance, for all my grumblings, the soundtrack, overall, is a bop. The fits of incredulous laughter the thing provoked were probably not what the filmmakers intended to produce, but they are enjoyable nonetheless. A kind of self-serious earnestness and sentimental sincerity pervades the whole thing, making it easy to ridicule the movie and to understand how it has generated a cult following in the decades since it so famously flopped. This is one loveable cinematic monstrosity. While I mourn the fact that Gene Kelly ended his movie career with such a lethargic mess, I'm happy I gave my time to Xanadu and its unashamed lunacy.
This endearing calamity which helped nail the coffin of disco is newly available on HBO Now.
Related
Other posts about Xanadu (1980)
More in our "How Had I Never Seen" series
Reader Comments (23)
The movie creaks at times and to me, the laser graphics are early 80s cringe-worthy. Still, the soundtrack is a lot better than the movie itself. Why nothing made it to a Best Song nomination is a mystery. Still-sometimes I just YouTube the final scene - with the song Xanadu - because Olivia Newton John is a treasure and just so damn gorgeous.
"Xanadu" is pure camp fun- and some of the musical numbers are well done others are just insane. Kelly could still move and his duet with Newton John is one of he highlights of the movie. I think the biggest problem is the casting of Michael Beck as the romantic lead. He looks good but can neither sing or dance.
Olivia Newton-John never looked better than in that glorious final scene, tanned, lithe, effervescent smiling white teeth, fabulous wildly long blonde hair, all set to the happy title tune. I also like "All Over the World" piece. Michael Beck reminds me of Andy Gibb.
This is my favorite movie to watch when the edible is kicking in. Watch it about once a year probably. That soundtrack, tho, is great and been a part of my rotation for most of my life.
My kind of shit. The soundtrack rocks.
You're not a white gay and are quite young so it's forgivable.
One of the greatest examples of "So Bad It's Good".
Theater goers, did any of you see the Stage Musical? How was it?
forever1267 -- XANADU on Broadway was a-ma-zing. One of the funniest shows i've ever seen.
This movie is just one example of how everyone in the 80s was on cocaine. The soundtrack is randomly kind of amazing (Seriously F you if you don't think "Magic" is a straight up Pop masterpiece), but everything else is just about as bad as it could be. This had to have looked dated the day it came out. But let's just take a moment to talk about the choreography. I don't know if it's straight up bad, or if its so ill fitted for the movie that it just makes it seems all that worse. It's exactly the kind of movie that should be remade, especially keeping the Broadway show in mind. Maybe not as much wink winking, but definitely more than a few nudges at recognizing the ridiculous joy that it is.
I once watched "Xanadu" three times in 48 hours. That's the whole anecdote.
It's OK. Yes, it's terrible in a lot of ways but it had some damn good music courtesy of ELO, Olivia Newton-John, and the Tubes in that rock/big band jazz mash-up. I love watching Gene Kelly though a lot of the musical numbers (aside from the songs) weren't very good as I think much of the film was made by people high on cocaine. The visual effects haven't dated well at all as I think part of it was that the visual effects people were REALLY HIGH on cocaine. Michael Beck was definitely the weakest link in that film as I just can't buy him as a romantic lead after seeing him the year before in The Warriors.
Well if I want to really wallow in 80's disco excess I turn to Can't Stop the Music but this one is quite the immersion in that wacky time too.
The soundtrack is good, better than CSTM but the film just doesn't have the same kicky camp value.
What possessed Gene Kelly to participate?
Cláudio, your writing is Magic. Suddenly, I feel Suspended in Time reading it. Xanadu forever! xoxo, ONJ
I was 13 or 14 when this movie came out, and I wanted to see it so bad, but even then I realized expressing that desire might make people guess my darkest secrets. Namely, that I had a massive crush on ONJ. And, oh yeah, I was gay.
When I finally saw it, I was so disappointed. The soundtrack is one of the best from any movie period, and I still love the music to this day. But the movie was badly filmed and the story lacked anything remotely resembling conflict or character arcs, as I recall. It was so bad, I never watched it again.
But I'll watch the videos for any and every one of the songs in the movie time and time again. Man, I loved the music!!
Cláudio is white.
So much of this article could apply to CATS. I wonder if there'll be similar appreciations of it in 40 years? Sample quotes below:
...Other prime sources of stress-relief are those movies which are so terrible, so unbelievably miscalculated, that their turpitude becomes entertaining. The logical conclusion is that there's no greater joy than watching a movie musical that's so bad it's good...
...How do you go about describing, let alone explaining, something as odd as [CATS]?
...The other half, however, makes up for its lack of technical virtuosity with bat-shit insanity.
...It's ridiculous and beyond bad, but it's also one hell of a ride full of entertainment that comes in many forms, both intentional and otherwise. For instance, for all my grumblings, the soundtrack, overall, is a bop. The fits of incredulous laughter the thing provoked were probably not what the filmmakers intended to produce, but they are enjoyable nonetheless. A kind of self-serious earnestness and sentimental sincerity pervades the whole thing, making it easy to ridicule the movie and to understand how it has generated a cult following in the decades since it so famously flopped ... I'm happy I gave my time to [CATS] and its unashamed lunacy.
Steve G -- You're right and it's quite funny to apply those same phrases to a discussion of the Tom Hooper directed fiasco. I can certainly see CATS gaining cult status in years to come. However, XANADU may be bad but it's not unnervingly grotesque like cat Rebel Wilson unzipping her own flesh and devouring baby mice with the human faces. It's the difference between nonsensical disco kitsch and nightmare fuel.
Jorge -- Like Herb said, I'm white, also gay so I think that makes me a "white gay". Though I'm young, as you point out.
NATHANIEL R -- That must have been one hell of an entertaining show. I'd love to one day see it.
"Xanadu" isn't a movie--it's a state of mind. No words are possible.
Although it's one of a kind, I think someone should package it with "Can't Stop the Music" and "Showgirls" as a boxed set. Perhaps the Criterion Collection?
This movie is a formative one for me. One of the first 2 LPs I bought as a young person. And 5% of the reason I'm gay. Can't recommend enough. I'm only sad that that roller skating rink/club has been since torn down on the Miracle Mile. It would make a GREAT destination for an LA pilgrimage.
i recently read onj's autobiography and she thinks this is a clever film which took its time to find it's audience [because people are always telling her how much they love it]
??
she also suggested mel gibson, just coming off mad max, for the role of sonny
It's so hard to explain/remember the roller skating frenzy that occurred around this time, but suffice it to say that where else could you have "good clean fun' approved by your parents (roller skating in the park) and yet see an overwhelming abundance of shirtless fit men moving around in their barely there short shorts? It was a fab moment for young teenage me.
XANADU, YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC, GLITTER... and, yes, CATS. I love them all as the grotoesque beasts on insanity that one can't quite fathom anybody making.