2000: The Top Ten Best Lines From "Erin Brockovich"
Wednesday, May 12, 2021 at 4:49PM
In preparation for the next Smackdown Team Experience is traveling back to 2000.
This is a place for legends only - (from left to right) Conchata Farrell, Julia Roberts, Albert Finney.
by Christopher James
The old saying “They don’t make them like they used to” is both tired and true. You won’t find another movie as quotable and inspiring as Erin Brockovich. Steven Soderbergh’s 2000 drama was the truest definition of a four-quadrant hit if there ever was one. Julia Roberts starred in the titular role as a blue-collar single mother who ends up taking on PG&E for poisoning the town of HInkley, California. Roberts deservedly won the Best Actress Oscar for her work in the movie, which perfectly uses her gifts as a movie star, rom-com Queen and dramatic actor.
Even more miraculous than the central performance is Susannah Grant’s incredible screenplay. It was nominated for Best Original Screenplay, losing to Almost Famous. Not only does she make a two hour plus procedural about water contamination feel riveting at every turn, she also makes it funny. Erin Brockovich is loaded with one liners that are guaranteed to make you laugh, cheer or cry. The movie works every one of your emotions, without every feeling manipulating or tonally inconsistent. Relive the 10 best lines from the classic film after the jump...
10. THAT ASSHOLE SMASHED IN MY FUCKING NECK!
What a perfect way to personify Erin early. After attempting to be ladylike and cordial, a rude, sexist line of questioning sets Erin off. No one is going to paint her like a lazy person, a bad mother or a dishonest human. Gone is the rehearsed, Erin. It's showtime for the real woman. Even in her unfiltered fury, Erin maintains the moral high ground. That asshole did, in fact, smash in her fucking neck. She will annunciate just to make sure that is fucking clear to everyone around her. Why didn't the judge listen to her?
9. As long as I have one ass instead of two, I'll wear what I like...
Yes, the movie does love its fat jokes (I wanted to choose the Krispy Kreme line, but I do know it's bad). Normally, when things fall into crunchy moral territory in film, I like to ask "is this something the character would believably say?" In the case of Erin, her body is one of her most prized possessions as its something she knows she can use. She's not about trading sexual favors to get ahead. She just knows how to use the male gaze to get what she wants. That's exactly what she's telling her boss, Ed Masry (Albert Finney) with this line. Erin is never conflicted about her body. She loves the skin she's in and never questions whether or not to use it to her advantage.
8. For the first time in my life, I've got people respecting me. Please, don't ask me to give that up.
A lesser movie wouldn't suggest Erin Brockavich has a selfish bone in her body. After all, it's an inspiring story of a woman overcoming countless obstacles to take down a corporation. Yet, Grant really fleshes out Erin's desire for attention and power. After suffering so many setbacks with kids, divorces and financial trouble, Erin is absolutely starving for control. Yes, she wants to save the people of Hinkley and see that justice is served. A part of her also wants to be thought of as a hero. This doesn't make her a bad person. In fact, it makes her a believable person. This is such an important characterization that underlines all of Erin's choices before and after the line is said.
7. By the way, we had that water brought in specially for you folks. Came from a well in Hinkley.
Erin loves prop comedy. When the PG&E lawyers stop by Ed and Erin's office, they underestimate their opponents. Roberts once again sells Erin's righteous indignation, as she cites many of her plaintiff's ailments. Finney is just as good as Roberts as an old pro standing by and watching his young associate get wound up and go off. They make such a great team. However, the best line of the scene isn't any of the fiery examples that Roberts makes a meal of in the delivery. It's her biting hospitality at the end. She's serving them the contaminated water they've tried to cover up. You reap what you sow.
6. I just went out there and performed sexual favors. Six hundred and thirty-four blow jobs in five days... I'm really quite tired.
Throughout the movie, Erin finds herself out of place or undervalued because of her lack of formal education. This insecurity plagues her every move, but also fires her up to go above and beyond. It's a smart dramatization of a character's Achilles heel also being their greatest strength. When Erin finally delivers the case winning evidence, she's prepared to rub it in the faces of her hoity toity colleagues, all while making herself the butt of the joke. The joy of Roberts' and Grant's interpretation of Erin is that she knows exactly who she is. Thus, she can play with people's perceptions of her and throw their preconceived notions right back in their faces.
5. How 'bout this for a number? Six. That's how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I've been married - and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That's my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I'm guessing zero is the number of times you're gonna call it.
Erin is always up for a monologue, isn't she? Even when she's at her wits end and exhasperated, she's willing to deliver a clever response to the next door neighbor hitting on her. The target of her scorn: George (Aaron Eckhart), a surprisingly cuddly biker who loves to rev his engines at night. You can tell in this scene that Erin needs a person to vent to. Absolutely anyone will do including this horny biker. Even in taking the piss out herself, she manages to take the piss out of him. Just like Aaron Eckhart's George, we've yet again fallen head over heels in love with Erin Brockovich.
4. Not personal? That is my time, my sweat and my time away from my kids — If that's not personal, I don't know what is.
First off, Julia Roberts looks fabulously disheveld in the best way possible here. She completely personifies what someone would look like when they're trying to convince others they aren't sick. Overcompensation drips from every pore of her sweaty body. It also comes out in her frantic voice. For so much of the movie, we've seen Erin topple every man that has underestimated her. For this reason, we know she can never let her guard down. This explains why she's so mad that a decision was made on her sick day, even if it might not have been intentional. However, it also provides a great runway for an Oscar clip ready meltdown that feels like a stream of consciousness. Erin knows she has put work over her kids and has made peace with that decision. Yet, she'll be damned if she lets that work be in vain. The cough at the end all but secured her Oscar victory.
3. They’re Called Boobs, Ed
In a film where Julia howls from the rooftops every chance she gets, I love that she underplays this hilarious line. Her voice reeks of "no, duh," in a way that is delighful and flippant. Erin's beauty makes people underestimate her and helps her achieve her goals. A former pagent girl, Erin has always known beauty is one of the main tools in her aresnal, though it is far from her only tool. In a way, Erin is reclaiming her body to work for her and her interests. If she's going to have to play in a man's world, she's gotta know how to beat it.
2. Do they teach beauty queens how to apologize? Because you suck at it!
As transcendent as Julia Roberts is throughout the movie, it would not have worked without Albert Finney's Ed Masry. He's the perfect straight man to Julia's excitable crusader. Ed's final jab at Erin makes for the biggest moment to clap in the film, as it represents a nice arc for his character. This professional lawyer had made his fair share of judgments about Erin, only to be proven wrong. Once he saw potential in her, he became her partner and her rock, enabling her to fly even when others doubted her. His advice and his banter with her springs from his love and admiration. It's so nice to have admiration expressed through shade thrown with a nice shit-eating grin. Finney is just perfect!
1. That's all you got, lady. Two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes.
I mean... how could you not? It's poetry. How can one recover from such an A+ line reading? As Ed Masry notes, poor Theresa was just doing her job. Yet, if I were Theresa, I would've asked for another job immediately, or at least taken two weeks off to ice that burn.
Wow. Truly stunning, Julia. Susannah, a standing ovation. Everyone involved, take a bow. The way Erin turns Theresa's words back in her face - I get goosebumps every time. Erin Brockovich is a perfect movie. The stick man knew not to play Julia Roberts off because he saw this scene.
What are your favorite lines or moments from Erin Brockovich? Let us know in the comments below.
2000, Albert Finney, Erin Brockovich, Julia Roberts
Reader Comments (41)
I just KNEW that the 'numbers' scene would be her eventual Oscar clip when I saw it. I still remember some people in my theater clapping when she delivered that little monologue.
#5 is my favorite line by far and the one I recall first. Julia is superb.
This remains one of the greatest, full-fledged star turns in the history of the cinema. Julia is giving us sexy, smart, fierce badass MOVIE STAR in literally every scene she's in.
Aaron Eckhardt was severely underrated in this. It might be the best he's ever been on-screen.
While she definitely would have gotten the Silver from me, in terms of awards, nobody holds a candle to Ellen Burstyn in REQUIEM FOR A DREAM. She should have won the Oscar.
However, this is one of the top 5 performances of Julia Roberts' career and it is a fabulous movie overall!
LOVE THIS MOVIE. And Julia is just sublime.
One of the best screenplays and performances of this century. And Finney is just fabulous too.
Why are you ignoring Richard LaGravenese's rewrite that Julia Roberts mentions him first in her Oscar speech?
"I'm not talking to you, bitch."
Heaven. Julia was perfection.
I love this film. Many of the people I work with have cited it as an influence in them getting inv6in local social justice issues. Roberts made Erin so relatable.
I think that, despite the highlights mentioned here, ALMOST FAMOUS still deserved the Oscar it won for the writing.
I also agree with Bhuray that Robert's Oscar should've definitely been Burstyn's. She was far and away the best in that category, but The Academy (understandably) couldn't resist the moment to reward one of Hollywood's biggest stars, in the best role and performance of her career.
But also in the realm of overdue rewards that are absolutely appropriate, Finney should've won his Oscar here.
No. 1 is classic, and Erin's recitation of all the memorized facts and phone numbers that proceeds it is pretty great, too. It just makes the burn that much better.
Burstyn was great, but that Oscar should have gone to Linney in that lineup.
But after a rewatch I'm not mad at Julia's win. Pure charisma with surprising gravatas. I would have loved to see Finney snag the Supporting Oscar, and he would have won in a cakewalk for me that year.
Now this is what a Movie Star performance looks like,I do love Ellen and Laura too but Julia sells every facet to perfection.
I think my fave bit is her beauty queen monologue which I assumed would be her Oscar clip.
I still don't understand why Finney didn't win,I never gt the appeal of Benicio Del Toro in anything.
Slay queen Julia!
Glenn Close could never
I LOVE this woman.. #5 is essential.
It is a great film. Julia deserved that Oscar. She's hilarious in it and it's a film that played to her strength. I think Steven Soderbergh needs to work with her again as I think he needs her more than she needs him. She's still killing it.
I LOVE this movie.
Julia deserves that Oscar. Period.
Also, Eid Mubarak everyone❤️
I love this movie and loved reading every word of this...
#1 can't be topped but I also relish her delivery of "I'm not talking to you, bitch!"
Oscar fully earned.
Christopher -- this was such a fun read. thank you thank you. Now i just want to watch the beauty queen monologue again (my favourite moment in Julia's performance even though it's not as catchy as the A+ zingers quoted here.
When ever I hear people say Julia's just a surface-level actress, after rolling my eyes, I direct them to this movie (and also her 90' romcom trifecta of Pretty Woman-My Best Friend's Wedding-Notting Hill) as evidence to the contrary. Like, a lesser actress would've turned lines like the beauty queen monologue into histrionic Drama and have absolutely zero subtleties to it. But Julia? Nah, fam, she's got the righteous fury AND subtle nuance to handle this!
Also, it's hilarious and a little sad that Soderbergh's best films are his more lighter Movie Star-centered ones. Ocean's Eleven, Magic Mike, this and Out Of Sight all show that he can get great Movie Star Performances out of people.
Julia totally deserved that Oscar.
Burstyn should have been in supporting that year. She was only in the film for 35 mins , which is 35% of the film and 10 mins less than Marcia Gay Harden's screentime in Pollock. If that role was played by someone like Lois Smith, nobody would ever consider her lead.
This year's nominee Colman has basically the exact same screentime as Burstyn and more overall % but even Nathaniel who are so strict about these rules nominated her in supporting.
Every hole is a goal
Let me tell you the truth: Burstyn isn't even that great. She overcooks her performance, in fact. And Requiem is a terrible, miserabilist mess.
The only one who could beat Julia was Laura Linney. You Can Count on Me is perfection.
It is a mistery how this screenplay lost to Almost Famous... Albert Finney's Ed Masry is one of the greatest performance ever!!!
Great post! I absolutely adore this film and Roberts's take-no-prisoners, fully magnetic performance in which she masters both the comedic and dramatic elements of the role. It's nice to see so many comments of people who feel the same.
"Bite my ass, Krispy Kreme!" would be another favorite line of mine.
I would have voted for Ellen, but Roberts is still the best Best Actress winner of the decade, and Erin Brockovich just keeps getting better. What a great year!
REQUIEM FOR A DREAM is my favourite film of all time @cal roth :o
Julia Roberts was my choice for an Oscar that year. Both she and her character made me sit up and take notice of an actress I had liked but regarded as being more charisma than acting chops.
These lines are great fun, but the moments she spends with the clients are truly moving.
So for that reason I choose:
" For the first time in my life, I've got people respecting me. Please, don't ask me to give that up."
That Oscar was about respect. And yes Albert Finney deserved a nomination.
One of the most deserving Oscar of the last 30 years. Julia's best.
I know this is a hotly contested Oscar win bc people are so passionate about Ellen's turn in Requiem for a Dream (a tour-de-force, for sure), but I think this is such a richly deserved Oscar... it's a great movie, and the perfect star-role combo, and came at the perfect time in her career to win her award. Plus, Ellen already had an Oscar, which helps ease the pain for those who wanted her to win.
This made me realize how much I miss Julia Roberts... and maybe we took her for granted? They sure don't make em like they used to.
For me, this performance is still the best "movie star" performance to win an Oscar. Julia brings such fire to this performance and she's entertaining every moment of the film. Only Barbra' Streisand matches her and Vivien Leigh (for Gone...) comes close.
I wish I remembered the exact line, but I think about this ALL the time whenever I'm confronted with colleagues who don't understand the value of getting to know people before they dive into the business at hand. When Erin and boss visit one of the victims in Hinkley, Albert Finney wants to leave immediately, and Julia says something along the lines of "Sit down and have a fucking cup of coffee, Ed." For 20 years, I have played that line over and over again in my head in these types of situations: Engage. Ask them how they are. Find out about their lives....Sit down and have a fucking cup of coffee, Ed.
But also: As some of the posters above mention, this is my favorite ever movie star performance. Laura Linney's performance in You Can Count On Me is also one of my favorite ever actress performances, and I wished then (and still wish now) that the movie had come out a year before or later so they both could have won Oscars. But I would have voted for Julia here in a heartbeat.
Julia's Oscar is so deserved! Ellen Burstyn in REQUIEM FOR A DREAM is good, but the movie did not ask too much from her. Instead, the editing and make-up did a lot of the job.
dtsf - That line is especially resonant these days, where we've been conditioned to shout all of our opinions online and shut off communication with anyone who has a different perspective. Have a fucking cup of coffee. You will see just how similar to you are to this person as opposed to different.
I think Julia Roberts is excellent in this and a hugely deserving winner. The screenplay is very good but I think the screenplay of You Can Count on Me is the outstanding work in the category that year.
All the Oscars to Julia for this - a star turn for the ages. It's so difficult to picture another actress in this role. #6 was such a funny line reading and gets my vote!
You Can Count on Me was my favorite American film of the year, of the decade even. It's a towering achievement. Laura Linney and especially its screenplay should have been winners. Most disappointing of all was Mark Ruffalo's extraordinary performance being ignored. Category confusion probably did his slight chances in (I think he's clearly a lead, but he was being promoted as supporting). I hope he gets an "Almost There" treatment.
Oh yeah, Julia Roberts is a worthy second choice for Actress. I don't get the praise for Ellen Burstyn's showboating performance. I even prefer Juliette Binoche's lovely performance in the otherwise godawful Chocolat.
@dtsf: That is such a good example of a great line! Erin Brockovich knows how to give iconic monologues or snappy one-liners, but it also has these great nuggets of wisdom in every scene. "Have a fucking cup of coffee" is such a great example of something that sounds funny coming out of Julia Roberts' mouth on first listen, but then the weight of what she's saying hits you and is core to the message of the film. Engage!
ERIN BROCKOVICH is the best of the Best Picture nominees that year too (barring only CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON)
A beautiful piece. From my first 2 watches in theatres to each subsequent re-watch, I am reminded of how wonderfully quotable this screenplay is.
But as for both our choices for #1, it's "Two wrong feet IN fucking ugly shoes." Not and, in.
When multiple performances in a category surpass the A letter grade I just accept the personal subjectivity of the Academy and can't get too mad regardless of my preferred outcome. The number of times they go mediocre makes me just glad for sterling achievements getting their deserved due.