Cast This! "Witches of Eastwick" Redux
Saturday, June 16, 2012 at 10:00PM So my Witches of Eastwick 25th anniversary celebration was not at all as comprehensive as I hoped for it to be but we need to wrap up. We barely talked about the three divas at all! (Sigh). As exit music, let's chatter about casting a sequel. If you'll recall Alexandra (Cher), Jane (Susan Sarandon) and Sukie (La Pfeiffer) each had a bouncing baby (half-demon?) boy at the end of the movie, sired by that devil Jack Nicholson himself. He was still trying to share custody (through the television screen) but the witches were wise to him.
I thought about asking you to cast a reboot but why replace that irreplaceable actress trinity?
Let's cast a sequel and bring all three of the goddesses back. Who should play the three sons all grown up in a sequel? You'll need three 25-34ish guys who would look great as a ginger, blonde, brunette trio and also have a little of their moms in them, whether that's visually or personality wise.
YOUR CHALLENGE: Cast the three sons and three young demonic succubi temptresses that try to lure them back to their Daddy. Since movies are always making gorgeous women of a certain age into the devil (hi Snow White and the Huntsman) in order to glorify youth, for bonus points tell us how Cher, Sarandon and Pfeiffer defeat the young (evil) beauties.
I may even give prizes to the best answer this time. You've got six character spells to cast. GO!
Cast This!, The Witches of Eastwick, witches
Reader Comments (17)
Cast me as Sarandon's son.
I mean, shit. I can wear glasses and take my shirt off.
I've yet to see Witches of Eastwick, though I'm certainly planning on checking it out soon, but wanted to put in a vote for an Incubus as well as two Succubi (buses?).
Also, Michael Pitt should be somewhere in there.
hm, I might be going a little too young here... but I just want to see Rupert Grint as Susan Sarandon's son. So I cast the other ones accordingly (in terms of age and fame).
Sons:
Rupert Grint
Darren Criss (I totally think he has some big screen charm!)
Zachary Booth (Armie hammer would have been more appropriate age-wise, but didn't seem to go with the others)
Temptresses:
Emily Browning
Sarah Gadon
Nikki Reed (ever since "Thirteen" I want to see her in something interesting again...)
Jake Gyllenaal (Cher)
Eddie Redmayne (Sarandon)
and Jonathan Jackson (Pfeiffer)
for the girls Mila Kunis, Kerry Washington and Rachel McAdams.
Debating making one of the sons gay. It would have to be Cher's, wouldn't it? XD
I don't know if I can do better than Darren Criss as Cher's son (that hair!), but having him play a gay guy after Glee seems pretty cliche.
My two favorite gingers, Benedict Cumberbatch and Michael Fassbender, are both 35, so they're out. Boo.
Alexandra/ Cher's son: Benjamin Walker.
Succubi: Rooney Mara.
Jane/ Sarandon's son: Andrew Garfield. Pretty sure he can act all shy and coy. It would be fun to see him go wild like Jane did.
Succubi: Deborah Ann Woll (Jessica on True Blood).
Sukie/ Pfieffer's son: Hunter Parrish.
Succubi: Elizabeth Olson.
The main idea is to have the succubi imitate the mother of each son they are trying to seduce. So, ginger for ginger, etc. Not trying to get too Freudian. Just the simple conflict of mother and son and "that horrible girl trying to take my wonderful boy away".
A fun twist would be for the succubi to be targeting a specific son, and then each falling for a different one. Hmm. How can we do this without making it a cheesy romance?
Mara ends up with Garfield after his character loosens up; Woll with Parrish; Olson with Walker.
In that case, the witches would win by gaining spiritual control of the succubi, through having them marry their sons - in a spectacular Beetlejuice-meets-Melancholia wedding ceremony at the film's finale, of course.
Do they throw in a young Jack cameo via CG, a la Jeff Bridges in Tron? Or do we cast a new lead bad guy? And does this new version need its own scene-stealer to follow in Cartwright's footsteps?
Anyway, let's get that Kickstarter going. Or can we just find an alchemist?
Beau -- pshaw. are you saying that's all there is to Sarandon's Jane? Can you also arch your eyebrow seductively and set your cello on fire? well... CAN YOU?!
Travis -- Michael PItt. hmmm. but for whom? whose DNA?
Daniel -- love the idea of the succubi imitating the mothers. But Cher impersonators are soooo last century so we'd have to get creative there. Also Rooney Mara with Benjamin Walker sounds kinda great.
Fernando Moss -- REDMAYNE for Sarandon eh? red mane. I like it. I think.
Patrick -- yes. to picking one direction and working with it. Well done.
any other takers?
I actually prefer the idea of one temptress flirting with all 3 of them. And why not go older with the character, too? Make it a little kinkier by introducing some cougar vibes into the mix. What if the temptress was Viola Davis? You can't tell me you don't want to see Viola Davis macking on Sebastian Stan and throwing down with Sarandon, Pfeiffer, and Cher.
Nat,
You ain't seen me in action.
I can do a hell of a lot more than that.
RJ... mmmmmsebastianstan.
Sebastian Stan would be the Cher offspring, obviously. Thinking Andy Garfield and Joel Kinnaman for the other two. This is a work in progress.
I love this!! Just a few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were fantasy-casting a remake!
I would go with super-ubiquitous/famous young actors:
Cher: Josh Hutcherson/Rooney Mara
Sarandon: Andrew Garfield/Emma Stone (real-life couple!)
Pfeiffer: Garrett Hedlund/Jennifer Lawrence
pfeiffer's son: ryan gosling
cher's son: joe gordon levitt
sarandon's son: jonah hill (with a ginger dye job, and maybe a beard...)
temptresses:
charlize theron
julianne moore
viola davis
much better if they're a generation older than the sons, and more of a threat to the 3 mamma witches.
Dave Franco as Michelle Pfeiffer's son. He can be cocky and angular and she can school him in the way only Michelle Pfeiffer can: with confidence, competence, authority, and razor sharp cheek bones. Anton Yelchin as Susan Sarandon's son. He doesn't have the red hair, but then again Susan Sarandon's red hair came from a bottle too. And I'm going on a limb with Paul Dano as Cher's son. Because of his moon face.
As for the seductresses, Yaya DaCosta has got to be in there. And since I'm hard pressed to think of another actress her age that projects that kind of mature sensuality, I'll go with Anna Kendrick to talk circles around a hapless Anton Yelchin, and Dakota Fanning to be intense and brooding with Paul Dano.
The Blonde: Ryan Gosling
The Ginger: Michael Fassbender
The Brunette: Chris Evans
Temptresses:
Elizabeth Olsen
Jennifer Lawrence
Emma Stone
Tom hiddelstone for Sarandon... that would be so much fun Ben Whishaw for Cher... not excatly same coloring but he looks like he play a son a Cher.... Jonathan Groff as Michelle's gay son of course.
Seductress Nicole Beharie for Hiddleston because she's dating another ginger in real life. Joseph Gordon evitt fr Groff because why not? And Juliette Binoche as the older woman French seductress with Whishaw.... obvios yes but we all want to see that.
The Blonde: Ryan Gosling
The Ginger: Michael Fassbender
The Brunette: Jack Huston
Temptresses:
Zoe Saldana
Jennifer Lawrence
Megan Fox (Redhead)
The older witches defeat the younger ones, by going Back To Jack, and replacing the young temptresses on Television so that they can WATCH over their Badboy Warlocks. As for combinations, the younger succubi like earth in the 21st century, and like to date everyone possible evoking A: Warlock Jealousy B: Lots of Feathers & Cherries (Mayhem) C: Witch Baby(s)
Nathaniel: More Witchy games pleez, this was fun
I vote for Michael Keaton in a Daryl-like role, if only for the Batman-Catwoman reunion.