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Red Carpet Quickie: "Savages"

We're speeding up our red carpet convos with one event at a time. Today's guest is Guy Lodge, who you know and love...

Nathaniel: Time for a Red Carpet Quickie at the Savages Premiere. Hi Guy!‬

Guy:  ‪Okay, I've got Mary Louise Parker and Salma Hayek, but...?‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪...Blake Lively and Kelly Preston‬ 

Guy:  ‪Aha. And with that, hi! I just had a moment of Actressexual Identity Panic‬

Botwin, Frida, Blake LIvely, Mrs. John Travolta



Nathaniel:  ‪It happens. I think Mary Louise Parker may be heading for an Identity Panic herself when Weeds ends (finally. thank god).

Guy:  ‪I still have fond memories of Weeds, having stopped watching it about five years ago and forgetting it exists.‬ 

Veronica Lakeisms and Scientology Secrets after the jump

Nathaniel: ‪Smart move.‬ You performed your own Lacuna, Inc with abstinence.

Guy:  ‪Are you sure that's Blake Lively? Did the top half of her head melt and she stuck a magazine cutout of Helen Hunt there instead? She almost fooled me into thinking she's the undead Veronica Lake.‬

Nathaniel: The undead Veronic Lake? No, that's Kim Basinger.‬

Guy:  ‪I'm so confused. Still, things are looking rosy for MLP, then -- liberated from her TV shackles, and the best-dressed here! (Right?)‬

Nathaniel: ‪Hmmm. I love Blake's dress... though I get the slight feeling of the dress creating the body rather than the body being in the dress. If everyone is going to be skinny, we'll create the voluptuous body -Exoskeleton chic!‬

Guy:  ‪It's a beautiful object, that dress, but I feel like it's wearing her -- though I suppose most things would wear Blake Lively, since we haven't ‬‪yet worked out exactly who she is. I love Parker's look here because it's so summery -- why not get a little seasonal with red-carpet glam?‬ 

Nathaniel: I keep wanting to attach a sash because the shoulder is so "BEST ______" ribbon.‬ 

Guy:  ‪Maybe that's the idea. "I'm the best, bitches! Forget Weeds!"‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪I wish Mrs John Travolta had come in a spa robe. Triumph through self deprecating sense of humor!‬ 

Guy:  ‪Preston's dress is SO tightly wrapped on her. As if she feared that, were it any looser, the collected secrets of scientology would spill from her assets.‬ 

Nathaniel: ‪The cleanup costs alone would rival the collected budgets of the Oliver Stone filmography. Speaking of... have you seen SAVAGES? Do you intend to?‬

Guy: ‪I think it's telling that it's taken us this long to even bring up the movie. I'll see it, but I sense a dark cloud hanging over it. (And that dark cloud isn't even Taylor Kitsch.)‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪Awww. poor Taylor. He'll always have "Riggins".‬ Okay. An exit question: Which of these dresses could convince you to see Savages and what would the movie actually be about if the dress could decide?‬ 

Guy:  ‪I'd have to go with Blake's exoskeleton, because that is some Cronenbergian shit right there -- the dress is the Savage, gradually fusing into the actress's own bones.‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪Shades of Venom in Spider-Man 3 without all the extraneous subplots. Wait. I guess Venom was an extraneous subplot...

Guy: ‪Salma's dress wants it all to be about her, of course -- but as much as I love the shot of oceanic colour, this one isn't working it for me -- perhaps because the cut is so matronly? Slip a white shirt under there and it's practically a schoolgirl's gymslip. (Sorry, revealing my Commonwealth schooling background there.)‬ 

Nathaniel: ‪It's never all about her Post-Frida (2002). And yet she always muscles her way into red carpet convos. That's some sort of staying power at least.‬

Guy:  ‪I like how Blake Lively seems to be trying to clasp both hands around her tiny waist, as if trying to force the blood up into her face.

Nathaniel: It all rushed out when she saw the final print of Green Lantern.

Guy:  Did Parker not get the memo that all actresses at this party have to stand with hands clamped to their waists? Did they think Savages was a superhero movie or something?‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪Red Carpets *are* the Superhero Genre for hot actresses.‬ 

Would you see a movie about Blake Lively's dress possessing her body?
Are you still watching Weeds?
Will it ever be all about Salma Hayek again? 

To Rome With Love premiere

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Reader Comments (8)

I desperately want it be all about Salma again. Maybe she and Penelope could do a lesbian crime drama or something awesome like that. I have to believe a studio exec would approve it, and if you get Michael Mann or somebody behind it, it could be amazing.

June 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJohn T

It hurts to say this but Blake Lively looks amazing and that dress is to die for.

Hilarious that Preston and Travolta went all matchy-matchy purple. Because nothing says "I'm not gay" like picking out your beard's dress to match your outfit.

June 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErik Anderson

I'm not (yet) a fan of her, but I gotta give it to Blake Lively. She looks absolutely incredible. Gorgeous dress.

June 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAaron

Blake Lively looks good and her acting looks good ion the Savages trailers. Which reminds me I really gotta see Pippa Lee.

June 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPaolo

Oh, Pippa Lee. One of the best worst movies ever made. Pure trashy delight but really, a truly awful film.

June 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErik Anderson

It's interesting how starlettes show everything they have (Lively) and when they are established names (Hayek), they don't feel the need to do it all the time.

Also, why Parker and Preston (nice name for a company!) look like they want to pee but are holding it?

June 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteriggy

iggy--True,but I'll take Parker's and Preston's strange poses over the one-leg-crossed-over-the-other thing that so many starlets do on the red carpet. They look like they're about to start doing the wee-wee dance.

I especially love when they do the crossed-leg thing while wearing a gown. Usually their feet peek out from under the hem of the dress, and the pose makes their feet look like they're on backwards.

June 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

^ So true, and that's still better than the over the shoulder look at my awesome back pose, which Lively has probably tried but has in tacky Pataky (Thor's wife) its master. So much so, that while doing a photoshoot for Elle Magazine using her trademark pose, another photographer took the photos from the other side (NSFW):

June 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteriggy
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