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Thursday
Aug152013

Morning Truth Tell: Parker Posey Gives Best Deleted Scene of All Time

It was recently announced that Kiernan Shipka nabbed her first big post Mad Men gig. She'll play the lead role in a Lifetime TV's remake of Flowers in the Attic [src]. "Who's on top and who's on bottom now?!?" But the only thing I can ever think of when I hear Flowers in the Attic is the genius of Parker Posey, who famously lampooned both the incestuous book and bad acting in an audition sequence for Waiting For Guffman that she wrote herself.

Sadly this scene seems to have been removed from the internet altogether which does not alter the truth that it is the single greatest deleted scene of all time or at least the funniest "bad acting audition" ever recorded for the cinema and brought to us on the magical soon to be archaic DVD machines. (And lord knows there is an abundance of competition since bad audition montages are a total cliché.)

Live this truth. Carry it with you today.

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Reader Comments (21)

Dang! I've never seen that deleted scene, and now I'm very intrigued. I also didn't realize Lifetime was rebooting this.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrittani

Parker Posey... Never change.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJorge Rodrigues

This makes me miss Christopher Guest movies. Is he ever working again?

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJames

Has Mad Men announced when it is going back to filming the final season or when it will be released? Heck what is the episode order?

There has been a lot of speculation that they will move back to summer and miss the Emmy cut-off date because AMC does not want both final seasons of Breaking Bad and Mad Men going head to head. I believe that.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCMG

Libby Mae's audition is the best of everything -- almost as priceless as Corky's dumbfounded reaction to it. "And who's on top, and who's on bottom now, huh?!"

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMareko

James - Christopher Guest has been making that show Family Tree for HBO with Chris O'Dowd. I've only seen the first two episodes so far but they had their moments (there was a scene in the second one that had me rolling). I haven't heard much about it though so I think the reaction has been underwhelming...?

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJA

My name is Libby Mae Brown and this is my monologue.

There's and bed right here...windows, this is a hospital...there's a doorway...this is a hallway and um this is the chair I sit in...so the bed is right there. I'll just be, you know, looking there.
I don't start here, I start back in the hallway.

[deep breath, puts on glasses, knocks/stamps foot, mimes opening door]

Billy, it's Susan. I was going through my trunk of souvenirs and I found this doll. [takes Raggedy Andy doll from her bag] The doll we used to play with before the war. Before you went insane.
You were sittin' on that quilt that had at one time kept us warm...and the quilt was so worn, Billy, and it smelt of mothballs which brought back all those memories of the times we spent in the attic. Locked up. With Muffin.

[to doll] And you told us that Mother was wrong and we were right, didn't you Muffin? And I took care of you and Billy. But Billy was much more trouble than you, wasn't he, Muffin? Especially when he got to be bigger than Susan....

[to Billy] and made her do things that she did NOT want to do. Things that made her sick. And Mother pretended that she didn't know but she did.

Well, who's lyin' in a bed in an insane asylum plugged into a life support system? And who's wearin' fine jewels and expensive clothes?

And whose husband accidentally died just recently and left me all his money?

[stands, approaches bed and then breaks character. To Corky-]

Oh, there's a plug here that hooks into where he's breathing and stuff. Let me just take it back....

[sits] And whose husband just accidentally died and left her all his money? [stands. mimes pulling giant plug from wall socket]

AND WHO'S ON TOP AND WHO'S ON BOTTOM NOW, HUH? WHO'S ON TOP AND WHO'S ON BOTTOM NOW?

I'll see you in hell, Billy, but at least I'M gonna have some fun before I get there. [mimes walking out door]

Scene.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpar3182

I just watched Guffman last night, and I forgot how much it makes me laugh out loud.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoey

It will be my pleasure to carry this moment of truth with me all day.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMike in Canada

par3282-

wow you are good

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

To all the "new adapters" who are a little too flip and cavalier about fewer DVDs and CDs being available ("Oh, who wants THOSE anymore? Just download everything!"): DVD's and Blu-Ray have alternate cuts, deleted scenes, director's commentaries, etc. etc., and CD's have album art, liner notes, and sometimes bonus cuts and features. I've known at least 2 people who lost all of their accumulated entertainment due to problems with dying laptops or access issues, so think carefully before you junk all your discs.

What we're seeing is an ongoing pressure in society for everyone to be mainstream--everyone download the same music from the same streaming places, everyone watch the same big-budget mainstream movies which are widely available, etc. You'll still be able to seek out unusual, idiosyncratic artists and films, but ironically at a time when it should be easier than ever to find stuff, it may be more of an uphill battle due to corporate strangleholds on everything.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDback

Yes. Yes, yes, YES, a million times yes.

Although, the funny thing is, I SWEAR this monologue was in the film the first time I saw it. I remember it so clearly, and this was long before I ever owned a DVD player. Cut to me buying the DVD years later and watching the audition sequence, and asking "Where the hell is Libby's monologue?!?" only to find it in the Deleted Scenes section.

Parker Posey is so freaking brilliant in this scene. And Christopher Guest's reaction shots are GOLD.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdenny

This woman. She should have some sort of variety show. If any of you are missing Christopher Guest's special brand, please check out Family Tree on HBO. It's a bit more subtle and subdued than his films, but a lot of the regulars show up, and after a slow start I found myself falling in love with it ever week.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Dback - I didn't mean this in a cavalier way. I'm gutted about fiwnloads and streaming because non of it is permanent and we lose gear films and cinema history with each new mode of viewing ( which are really just excuses for Hollywood to make new money on previous product )

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNathaniel R

A good deleted scene is hard to find (hence the reason for their deletion). My personal favorites (really the only ones where I've wondered why in the world they were deleted) are those from Mrs. Doubtfire.

Anybody else seen them / love them?

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEvan

Hear, hear DBack. Does no one like tactile things anymore?!?!?


The book, and it's even better sequel "Petals on the Wind" are batshit insane stuff. If you haven't, take a weekend off and tear through those two "novels". You will NOT be disappointed. Because by insane, I mean total and complete "I can't believe this got published" lunacy.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterforever1267

Parker's scene from Best In Show in the pet store, looking for that dog toy...I just can't stand how hilarious that is. Genius.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbrookesboy

That deleted scene has to be just about the best ever. It's a source of nonstop quoting amongst me and my friends -- applicable to SOOOO many situations!

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterR diddy

Love this scene!! Have to watch it everytime I put in my Guffman DVD (a couple times a year at least).

I'll see you in hell Billy... but at least I'M going to have some FUN before I get THERE.

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBen

No worries, Nathaniel. :) I'm mostly griping at teens and twentysomethings, whom I regularly encounter as a teacher, and who have said straight out, "Honestly, who pays for entertainment anymore? You can get everything for free off the web." (As all my friends who are writers, singer/songwriters, filmmakers, etc. keel over...)

And by the way, youth of America: stop saying "literally" all the time and GET OFF MY LAWN!!

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDback

brookesboy: Ditto!

That scene is hilarious! And Best in Show must be one the greatest written comedies ever!

August 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterManuel

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