Baywatch: the Film?
Friday, October 3, 2014 at 2:27PM
Manuel here to bring great news to fans of 90s TV shows and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I know you’re out there!
Not to be outdone in this week’s “craziest Hollywood pitch ideas finally being developed” (coughTetriscough), Paramount has announced that it’s moving forward with its long-gestating Baywatch film adaptation with none other than Johnson himself, he of great box office power when paired with an established brand, in talks to star. May we hope this turns out to be more Charlie’s Angels than Bewitched? More Mission:Impossible than The A-Team? In true 21 Jump Street fashion, it seems they’re going for comedy, as they’ve hired Sean Anders and John Morris, of We are the Millers fame. If the film truly embraces its own kitsch appeal and zeroes in on 90s nostalgia, it might make for an interesting... no, I can't even finish that sentence.
That said, I’m burying the lede because we all know the next bit of news should this movie stop moving forward and actually start, you know, casting and shooting, will be about who will fill in for Pamela Anderson as the requisite bombshell beauty who’ll most likely be described by casting agents and directors alike as “a strong kick-ass” character.
So, let the name-tossing begin. Who would you cast to don the iconic red swimsuit? Which actress do you think could be the new CJ Parker (or better yet, the new Stephanie Holden)? Or, if we wanna go more the Magic Mike route, who are you hoping will skimp on wearing shirts and join Johnson at the beach? And yes, amuse me with your left-field choices because the cynic in me knows the same three names will be bandied about soon enough.
Reader Comments (11)
"more Charlie’s Angels than Bewitched?"
Is Charlie's Angels that much of a gold standard? Or simply the ceiling for this property.
Anyways, I think this is the movie Ashley Greene was born to be in.
Nikki Bella
Speaking of TV show adaptations, when are we getting Charlize Theron as The Bionic Woman on the big screen?
Gina Gershon and Juliette Lewis for pure WTF-factor craziness :)
Alicia Vikander is blonde and beautiful and moves well. Oh, a background in ballet isn't what you were looking for? Well then, how about a real Olympic swimmer? There's lots of good looking ones that would make me feel safe on the beach.
Simple. Pull anyone under 35 from the CW roster of shows, plus Maze Runner and Degrassi. Throw in Max Martini for the other token "old guy" and fill it out with Soap actors. And Miss Anderson has to make an appearance but please, no Hasselhofffffffffff..........zzzzzzzzz......
Henry, ITA, the male cast of Vampire Diaries would be perfect--especially Michael Trevino!
This might work as a "21 Jump Street" style spoof
The Rock will look fantastic in his speedo/shorts thing.
For Pamela Anderson I thought of Margot Robbie. Is that her name? The blonde bombshell from Wolf of Wall Street.
Diora Baird for the Pamela Anderson role, and Kellan Lutz to round up the love triangle with her and the Rock. Lutz is perfect for this kind of dumb shirtless franchise, plus we'd have a Hercules face-off. You may be thinking who the hell would want to see that??, and that's a fair question, but this is an entry about a Baywatch movie, so clearly that type of concern does not stop projects from being green-lit.
Henry, that comment of yours is Gospel...