Since they aren't broadcasting the ceremony live across the pond -- we'll get an edited tape-delayed version -- we aren't watching. We'll only give BAFTA its due once it joins us in the 21st century. If you're waiting to be "surprised" during the tape delay abridged stuff, don't click to continue this post. If you are as unwilling to care about things you can't watch live as we are, and don't even value themselves enough to include the audience (even in the UK it's not live), than click away to read the winners with some commentary.
Best British Film Gravity
Hmmmm. American stars. Mexican director. I guess the money was partially British? I dunno. Seems suspect.
Best Short Film Room 8
This was part of a series of films which riffed on a script by Oscar winning Geoffrey Fletcher (Precious) that was purposefully absent any stage directions so that the filmmakers had to interpret it. Watch it if you have 8 minutes! It stars Tom Cullen from Weekend and Downton Abbey
British Short Animation Sleeping With the Fishes
Best Production Design Catherine Martin, The Great Gatsby
Best Sound Gravity
Best Editing Rush
I'm genuinely surprised that Gravity keeps losing this award. I thought it would sweep technical prizes. This win goes to Ron Howard's frequent collaborators who I really thought would be Oscar nominated last month. I think it's safe to say that this will be a very hard category to get right in your Oscar predictions this year.
Best Documentary The Act of Killing
Best Makeup and Hair American Hustle
Seriously why did the Oscar makeup branch stiff this one?
Best Costume Design Catherine Martin, The Great Gatsby
Best Original Music Steven Price, Gravity
Best Animated Film Frozen
Outstanding Debut Keiran Evans for Kelly + Victor
Best Supporting Actor Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Emma Thompson presented this one and Tom Hanks starts wolf-whistling according to Empire
I want to thank BAFTA for this honour. I want to thank Paul Greengrass for believing in me before I believed in myself. I want to thank Tom Hanks, Sony Pictures, my producers and my family and my friends. I love you! Last but not least, I want to thank the other pirates in the film, my friends. We came from nothing and we get this! Thank you!"
Best Cinematography Emmanuel Lubezki, Gravity
Best Supporting Actress Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
Oh dear. the pundits are going to freak out again. But at this point I still think the Oscars is Lupita's. I know that American Hustle has "American" right in the title but I'm guessing that 12 Years a Slave holds more appeal to Americans than to Brits. The British dealt with ending the slavery problem earlier and in a much more civilized less bloody fashion as you'll soon see in the film Belle opening this summer. Jennifer wasn't there since she's filming season 4 of The Hunger Games.
The BBC made a joke about her absence which woulda been way funnier without the hashtag 'splaining it
Outstanding Contribution to British Cinema Peter Greenaway
I LOVE HIM. I DON'T THINK WE'VE EVER TALKED ABOUT HIM. MAYBE SOMEDAY. I couldn't help but shout. I feel guilty for having never gone there.
Rising Star Will Poulter
Original Screenplay American Hustle
Adapted Screenplay Philomena
Best Visual Effects Gravity
Best Foreign Language Film The Great Beauty (Italy)
For awhile I thought Broken Circle Breakdown had a shot at this Oscar statue but The Great Beauty keeps winning things.
Best Actor Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
Yay! Such a great performance. He only thanked two of his co-stars and if it had to be only two they were the right two but I still think Sarah Paulson deserved more credit for this movie than she got.
I would be remiss if I did not thank you Michael Fassbender, Lupita Nyong'o - the list is endless, and all bringing an extraordinary passion to this project...
Best Director Alfonso Cuarón, Gravity
The Oscar is also his. Love the tail end of his speech referencing the other members of the self-described 'Three Amigos'
and a couple of guys Guillermo del Toro and Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, because I cannot order breakfast without asking their advice!
Best Actress Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Supposedly her speech went like so...
Thank you BAFTA. I was sitting in Row G so I thought that was a sign that I wouldn't be getting up here tonight. [Breathing heavily] God I'm unfit! Jasmine was an extraordinary opportunity for an actress. I would like to dedicate this to an actor who has been such an presence but now an absence to me, the late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman. Your presence and your unflinching quest for truth in art and life will be sorely missed not only by those here but the audiences who loved your work. All we can do is keep trying to raise the bar continually in your absence
Best Picture 12 Years a Slave
Though I will find it deeply sad if 12 Years a Slave loses the Oscar -- its win would be important for people on a spiritual level in a way a win hasn't been since the one that wasn't: Brokeback Mountain -- I have enjoyed how wide open this year's races seem to be. Editing is completely up in the air. If The Great Gatsby doesn't take both Production Design and Costumes those could go any which way, too. There is still some doubt about Best Picture and Supporting Actress and some pundits believe Leo has a chance to upset McConaughey in Wolf of Wall Street.
There are people out there upset about 12 Years a Slave's win or at least leading with 'But Gravity won more!' I personally have never understood the need people have for their favorite to win everything. I love spread the wealth years and I think those rare years when the Best Picture won less Oscars than another film are very very interesting. Bring on more of those! The whole can be greater than the sum of its parts. (That said I would definitely hand 12 Years a Slave more wins... but I'm not always that way with my favorites.)