Ranking the Oscar Presenter Lineup
Monday, February 24, 2014 at 11:30AM 
Which categories will they present?The full list of presenters has been announced. If we know Oscar, this means Best Picture is being presented by either a) Sidney Poitier b) Harrison Ford or c) Bobby De Niro. They totally can't deal with women who aren't named Streisand getting that honor for reasons we'll never fathom.
So who do you think it will be?
I'm personally disappointed that Liza with a Z isn't listed among the 40+ names. They're honoring The Wizard of Oz, so why not wheel her out for Best Picture or something? The biggest non-nominee name I was hoping to see given the film year being honored: Scarlett Johansson. But it was not to be.
After the jump, the full list of presenters. Alphabetizing is for sissies, so let's rank them.
The Mandatories - I live for the cross gender statue-passing acting category tradition
01. Anne Hathaway (shut up! I miss her)
02. Jennifer Lawrence
03. Daniel Day Lewis
04. Christoph Waltz
Bring it. Yaaaaas
05. Kim Novak (wth????)
06. Viola Davis (Best Actress winner of 20-- oh, shit. FU Oscar)
07. Ewan MacGregor (man of our dreams)
08. Penélope Cruz
09. Sidney Poitier
10. Sally Field
11. Glenn Close
12. [TIE] Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
Good Choices
13. Charlize Theron
14. Joseph Gordon-Levitt
15. Anna Kendrick
16. [TIE] Amy Adams & Bradley Cooper
17. Kristen Bell (sudden extra points - her singing voice is so underrated in the Frozen/Idina frenzy)
18. Michael B Jordan (this is their annual -- 'you think we didn't notice you this year, but we totally did. Nice work. What's next?' choice)
19. Channing Tatum
20. Goldie Hawn (She'd be a good if weird choice for Best Picture but since her daughter is also presenting, one supposes they're together which means that is not happening)
Fun Choices
21. Benedict Cumberbatch (a bit of prep work for 2014?)
22. Bill Murray
23. Gabby Sidibe
24. Andrew Garfield (I'd be happier about this if this wasn't entirely due to Spider-Man)
25. Whoopi Goldberg (I'd be happier about this if she still made movies)
Dissipating Enthusiasms
26. Emma Watson
27. [TIE] Harrison Ford & Robert de Niro
Here's the thing. They're movie legends so respect is due but I will be pissed if either of them gets the Best Picture honors. AMPAS need to stop it with their highly predictable Iconic Older White (Male) Actor for that presenting gig. Can we get an Actress other than Streisand or a Director other than Spielberg for a change?)
28. Chris Hemsworth
29. Will Smith
30. Naomi Watts
31. Samuel L Jackson (Still wish he'd been Oscar nominated for Django Unchained)
When Oscar Pretends Its the Emmys
32. Kerry Washington (Listen, movies. You had your chance with her. You blew it.)
33. Kevin Spacey (I'm allergic. And if they wanted to go with a big name who's won two Oscars and is now popular again via TV, 100% it shoulda been Jessica Lange.)
Oh, Oscar You're trying too hard. Or not trying hard enough.
34. Matthew McConaughey (He'll already be on stage, you know? Why double up?)
35. Zac Efron (guess he's replaced the Twilight actors as the 'see, we're young!' choice)
36. Jason Sudeikis
37. Jim Carrey
38. Tyler Perry
When you are suddenly uncomfortably reminded that the Academy is sometimes years behind the curve... of the People's Choice Awards!
39. Jamie Foxx
40. Jennifer Garner
41. John Travolta
42. Kate Hudson
43. Jessica Biel
I welcome your agreements and dissents in the comments
Reader Comments (78)
Number one for me is Kim Novak although it makes me a trifle sad that she is the lone iconic Golden Age female star presenting. Angela Lansbury is probably off somewhere on tour but Eva Marie Saint, Sophia Loren, Jane Powell or Debbie Reynolds are all still active and would be great. Or in this year of Saving Mr. Banks how about Glynis Johns that would be awesome.
After Kim, Sally Field, Glenn Close, Viola, and Charlize are most welcome on the female side. Of the men DDL of course then JGL, Ewan MacGregor, Samuel L. Jackson (love him) and I have to admit Zac Efron, he's not the greatest actor but unlike many of the poster boys he will try projects that are different and somewhat challenging mixed in with the dross that keeps him employable.
Brad & Angelina will dominate as is their right as THE star couple of the times.
Jennifer Garner but no Ben? that's disappointing. Her participation is understandable being in Dallas Buyers Club but he won so much last year including Best Picture you'd think he's present something.
OMG PLEASE stop playing the Viola Davis Oscar victim card. Do we really have to hear this every time her name comes up? We know you and Sasha wanted her to win, but you both are pushing that envelope way, way too far. ENOUGH!
Nat. I'm not saying Biel deserves to be there over other film actors, just that I understand why (and I appreciate and agree with your frustration). But, since JT and his film got little to no love from AMPAS, they get him, one of the biggest entertainment stars in the world and certainly the US with massive appeal across all demos with no other reason to attend, if they give her a spot. I think we will get more reaction shots of JT during the broadcast than we do Meryl. A couple of well timed tweets during the red carpet mentioning him and fan girls and boys will tune in. I hope it gives her career a boost because I think she has talent.
And it could be worse. It could be Jessica Alba.
Liza Minelli will be there...
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/race/oscars-judy-garlands-kids-reunite-682672
Eduardo that is so awesome! Thanks for the tip. Has Joey Luft even been seen in any sort of public forum for years?
Henry if they wanted to get JT to the show they could have asked him to present. He is a much more relevant film actor than Jessica Biel is right now
I'm always a geek when it comes to oscar presenters. Kudos this year to the producers for rounding up a solid mix of film veterans, actors of color, respectable box office stars, and critically acclaimed young actors.
Kim Novak? Wtf. So excited. Very cool to see Sally Field, Viola Davis, Glenn Close, and Whoopi.
Digging Michael B. Jordan and Emma Watson as we'll (how can you not be a fan after the amazing work she's done post-Potter?). Sort of surprised Margot Robbie was not selected. She's also the young, gorgeous, new ingenue in a successful best picture nominee. Thought she would be a given.
The most yawn inducing for me is Kate Hudson (WHAT HAS SHE DONE OF NOTE RECENTLY?) Jamie Foxx Tyler Perry John Travolta (gag) and Jessica Biel.
Guy Lodge had the amazing, amazing idea of the Honorary Oscar winners presenting Best Picture, which is thrilling and makes perfect sense given the award's shafting from the main ceremony and so of course will never happen.
Nat, I don't think I would have ever noticed the boring lack of creativity in picking the Best Picture presenter if you didn't continue to draw awareness to it. Last year when Jack Nicholson came out, I audibly groaned, "Not AGAIN!" Look what you've done to me. t is fascinating to me how unoriginal they can be in what should be a great honor. I am of the opinion that you present Best Picture once, and then make way to honor other great artists. That said, Sidney Poitier has already presented Best Picture TWICE.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_presenters_of_Best_Picture_Academy_Award
That wikipedia link already has it recorded that Poitier is presenting to 12 Years.
I am hoping that they are keeping the best pic presenter a surprise and their name isn't in the list. But of the ones here, I think Sam Jackson deserves the honor the most. The man IS franchise Hollywood. But I am completely with you on the sad lack of women in this honor. Julia Roberts is a STAR. Meryl Streep is a STAR. And they've never done it. It's absurd. Jodie Foster, Michelle Pfeiffer, even Sandra Bullock all deserve it more once than Harrison Ford a third time. It has to be an icon, I can't decide if Sally Field or Glenn Close still qualify.
These people have all done it twice or more and should be barred from doing it again-show some creativity people! Jack Nicholson (8 effing times!), Harrison Ford, Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, Clint Eastwood, Michael Douglas, Al Pacino, Dustin Hoffman, Warren Beatty, Streisand and Poitier. Once upon a time, Audrey Hepburn presented Best Picture 4 times. Now in the last 20 years, the only women to have done it are Streisand, Keaton, and Michelle Obama. That's sad. And they always need a man there to co-present with them. Give a woman the honor BY HERSELF. I think you should keep preaching, Nathaniel, until the media can't ignore this (like SNL's lack of an African American female). Because I think this is shameful from the people that are supposed to be professionals in the realm of creativity! <End rant.>
Ugh...and how many years until we have to endure a rotation of George Clooney, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, Robert Downey Jr. and Brad Pitt presenting Best Picture multiple times each. I mean they all deserve to present once. But you know it will be 3 times each. Maybe they'll let Angelina Jolie or Will Smith do it once a decade to "diversify."
GAH! And I just realized Morgan Freeman has never had this honor! But Jack Nicholson has EIGHT TIMES! What is wrong with this world!
OK, have to bring it up: This isn't Garner's first Best Picture nominee. She was not only terrific in BP nominee Juno, she was Ebert's (and my) favorite supporting actress turn of the year. She might be somewhat hit and miss, but she's had some incredible moments.
Back in the 1980s, they had Lillian Gish, Loretta Young, Cher, Laurence Olivier, Carol Burnett, and Frank Capra present BP at various times. They also had John Huston, Akira Kurosawa, and Billy Wilder jointly present BP at the 1985 ceremony. They had some interesting ideas during those years - but I don't think they were as ratings-obsessed then.
suzanne -- well they had much higher ratings back then and less competition for eyeballs with only 3 networks people could watch (unless they were the early adopters of pay cable) . it makes sense that they're ratings obsessed but my wish is that they would understand that even within that obsession there are interesting things they could do. I mean Oprah winfrey used to do anniversary specials for big films that got tons of press. It's not like if the oscars had trotted out Julie Andrews & Christopher Plummer together that people wouldn't have been excited. They don't always need to go with the taylor lautners of the moment. It's just so short-sighted. They need to think about legacy. And people care about legacy much more if you cultivate that caring.
shawshank -- oh for sure! you know ben affleck and matt damon will totally be the type that they return to frequenlty. it fits their profile for who they think deserves to present the top prize perfectly. I love barbra streisand but i am sometimes surprise that they even let her do it they're so anti-woman.
To continue with what Nat is saying about ratings obsession, the advertisers also have a lot of say in what demographic is targeted. They only care about young viewers so there is going to be a slant in that direction. The show doesn't have the automatic draw it once did so concessions have to be made. Like it or not, outside film fans and seniors, no one knows who Kim Novak is (remember last year when people were asking who Dame Shirley was), but everyone knows Zac Efron and Emma Watson. Channing Tatum is nearly as important to the show as Lawrence in terms of draw.
I love the Oscars, but for the show to survive, it has to be watched and that means it has to appeal to more than just diehard film fans.
Efron should be in the last group, no reason for him to be there. Also not a fan of Tatum so he can be in the last group as well.
Patryk -- i get why that's frustrating. I'll try to stop :) there are a lot of victims at the Oscars. She's just the most painful one for me since Brokeback Mountain, no joke. I think she deserved that Oscar like crazy.
Henry -- i get that, but how does Jessica Biel help them. NO ONE CARES ABOUT HER except maybe paparazzi blogs? but there are plenty of other stars that fit the bill of what they care about.
Too high:
Naomi Watts (After her totally embarassing 2013 (Diana, Adore AND Movie 43) after a few years of borderline irrelevance and never being an enduringly iconic actress, the Academy should have easily rejected her as a choice to present an award.)
Will Smith (even forgetting his supporting role (as a version of THE DEVIL, who's also a JIMI HENDRIX FAN) in recent bomb Winter's Tale, there's still the fact that of the six films before that to contend with, which are I Am Legend, Hancock, Seven Pounds, MIB III, After Earth and Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues, the Anchorman sequel is probably the best or second best of those. Yeah, you don't have a guy whose career is currently in that place to present an Oscar.)
Tyler Perry (Yes, he should be proud he produced Precious, but he also created Madea, which eliminates all good will that would create and then some.)
Too low:
John Travolta (Yes, Travolta's also in a bad place, but Will Smith has never appeared in films on the level of The Thin Red Line, Pulp Fiction, Carrie or BLOW OUT. In a long form history of cinema sense, those films ensure that Travolta will never NOT belong. Will Smith has, at best, only managed...Grease level, with the original Men In Black.)
Jim Carrey (Yes, he has commercial crap on his output, but The Truman Show, Eternal Sunshine, I Love You Phillip Morris? He's maybe not at Travolta level, but he has his place.)
Kim Novak (I know she's already high, but couldn't you have slid her above the mandatories?)
I do remember Diane Keaton presenting best picture for 2006...yet she was 1/2 to Jack Nicholson, who got the honor of saying "And the Oscar goes to..."
But I also hate the blatant sexism involved in presenting best picture...it basically sends the message that women have had no influence or contribution to the history of cinema.
Other than Angela Lansbury (who would be a great choice this year, as she was awarded the honorary Oscar), what about Jane Fonda, Liza Minnelli, the Dames (Julie Andrews, Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Helen Mirren), Vanessa Redgrave, Joanne Woodward, Liv Ullmann, Gena Rowlands, Cicely Tyson, etc., etc. Hell, even Meryl FREAKING Streep has never had this honor, at least not to my knowledge...
I was thinking about this just the other night. I thought Sidney Poitier would be presenting Best Picture and 12YAS winning.
And I wouldn't be surprised if they had President Obama do a cameo like Michelle did last year.
But if American Hustle is the winner - then maybe Robert De Niro will present Best Pic???
Not sure why Harrison Ford is considered in the same category as Robert and Sidney though.
Oh well at least we won't be seeing Spielberg, Hanks or Nicholson presenting it - yet again.
i can't believe they got samuel l jackson but not laurence fishburne to present with him
Preaching to the choir Nat. I think it might have to do with the Best Original Song. JT and his song were snubbed for a song that was cheated in (whether his song was 6 or not is immaterial). AMPAS need to make nice (cheating rarely touches only a few). Jessica needs to seem relevant because, as you say, no one cares about her any more......except her husband. This makes her look important on lots of fronts. I might be way off base, but there is no other reason for her inclusion except JT and this is the strongest I could think of.
Jane Fonda would be a divine choice! If the Academy didn't hate women, I would have expected it to happen earlier. As for Streep, it wouldn't at all surprise me if she had been offered the honor to present on a nomination off-year and turned it down. She doesn't seem like the type to want to attend the show unless doing something meaningful to her (i.e. presenting the Altman Honorary Oscar). My fingers are crossed for a woman to present, but I'm expecting the usual old white dude.
From this list, i honestly want Sally Field to present best film - I dont know why but I just love Sally, although I'm pretty sure she is going to pair up with Andrew Garfield for some spider-man thing :( but them my head is thinking Sidney and Sally? Wouldn't that be something!
Wasn't Jennifer Garner's first Oscar presenting gig at the non-televised technical achievement Oscars? She was chosen because she has a university science degree (and is beautiful and popular). She was a big hit with the technical crowd, someone who understood and appreciated them. Maybe that's one of the reasons she keeps getting asked back as presenter- she's the technical crowd's choice.
And as previously said, she's in a Best Picture nominee, which she did for very little payment and no guarantee it would be well received.
She's one of my favorites too.
I just had a thought, hasn't the best pic presenter always been a surprise presenter that wasn't announced beforehand or am I wrong on this ?
As for Meryl never presenting it, my guess is it's hard to have someone nominated in that year present the big honour (I don't think that's ever happened in recent memory), and Meryl is pretty much nominated every other year it seems and my guess is she won't attend the Oscar in years she isn't up for an award, I mean she must get bored of the show by now.
Julie Andrews, Shirley McLaine and Jodie Foster should present Best Picture all-together.
I'm not surprised they would eventually give Will Smith the honor, but after THIS YEAR? He deserved it more 5 years ago than he does today. His career seems to be on self-destruct. Glad it was a first-timer. Bonus that the presenter wasn't white. Disappointed the presenter wasn't female. Hoping that Will Smith can turn his career around so that in 10 years when people look at the list of Best Picture presenters, Will Smith's name will make perfect sense as part of the roster.