Sorry this is so many days late! I promised we'd play along this year. And by play along I don't mind dress up in drag while typing but you can't see me so you'll never know but weekly posts on the best reality show on television (the Emmys sure are missing the boat float with their exceedingly conventional and stale nominations). Unfortunately "The Big Opening Part 2" which brough us another set of 7 queens, was much less cinematic in its shout-outs, so I made one up myself: Darienne Lake and June Squibb have the same designer. Pass it on!
Oh. my. god. Revelation as I typed: June Squibb would make the best Guest Judge on this show. Make that happen, Ru.
Not that no queens were compared to queens of the screen. Milk was told to "flash that Lauren Hutton smile" and Trinity K Bonet decided to go with 'something between Star Wars and Buckingham Palace for her look, citing Princess Leia as inspiration. The actual runway look skipped that generation and went straight for Princess Amidala. It worked for the judges.
Josyn Fox was compared to Raquel Welch. Well the hair color and the fondness for animal prints... Joslyn's extremely short skirt that ends up leaving nothing to the imagination gives Jocelyn the best deadpan line of the episode. Where's the bottom of your dress?
It wouldn't fit in my suitcase."
The mini-challenge was a sexy/silly bedroom lust/pillow fight combo with the Pit Crew. Isn't it odd that the queens rarely get into it with the Pit Crew in their photoshoots. They seem scared to touch them, which makes little sense. They are obviously there to be used and abused, like oily android toys without voice boxes or sentience.
LET'S HAVE A KIKI KAIKAI?
When the boys de-drag, Milk thinks Courtney Act is super cute and Courtney says she doesn't do dairy but will make an exception (and, yes, Milk is gorgeous out of drag). Grrrls, keep it in your pants and tucked. This isn't The Real World.
BRAIN CELL MURDERER
Gia Gunn's one word vocabulary terrified us last week and this week Joslyn takes up the mantle with a giggle, completing misunderstanding the "15" number in her Quinceañera dress-up box and then referring to herself as "the black horse of the competition" (Poor thing).
Despite Bianca Del Rio's quick wit and amusing description of her "Rolodex of Hate", it's actually RuPaul who pulls out the library card with a deadpan assessment of Jocelyn's Quincenera over the top gown.
Your couture reminds me of a wedding. something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue
Michelle Visage wins this by smartly grilling Magnolia and giving Joslyn Fox the best advice she'll get:
You're beautiful. You don't need all of that. Cut it in half."
Whether or not Joslyn will take this to heart... or even understands the words in those sentences, we can't yet know.
DID THE RIGHT WOMAN WIN?
Yes, Bianca del Rio was great the whole episode, quick-witted, smart, and engaged in the competition. It'll be interesting to see her throw down with Ben de la Creme soon since they are both cut from the same clown queen cloth.
LIPSYNCH FOR YOUR LIFE!
In the end Darienne Lake with her sparkly but drab green gown and Magnolia with her terrible attitude and cowprint dress must fight to stay on the show to the tune of "Turn the Beat Around".
Each week I'll be doing a quick sketch from the show just for fun (maybe it won't always be from the lipsynch maybe it will?) This week's portrait gurl is Darienne Lake cuz that's what I paid for and she was giving me extra!
...Magnolia and her frightening contoured-like-a-swordfish nose wasn't givin' any extra and we wanted our money back after her lackluster lipsynch so this was an easy call.
QUEEN OF SOCIAL MEDIA
Out of sociomedianthropological curiousity uhohheyyy I screencapped all of the new queen's Twitter accounts a few weeks before the premiere to see how much of a difference a popular television show can make. Last week with a different set of queens, Adore Delano picked up the most adding 2,000 followers. Who connected with the most people this week? Biggest Gains (descending order): Courtney Act: + 4,800 (though it's worth noting that having already been famous as the runner up on Australian Idol, she had many thousands more fans to begin with); Bianca: + 4,420; Milk: + 3960; Joslyn Fox: +1696; Darienne: + 1600, Trinity: + 1418; Magnolia: + 1255