... But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say 'Shit, it's raining!”
Isn't that a great line from Cold Mountain? It's profound down-home truth and blunt poetry at once.
Realizing you're your own worst enemy is tough business. Even if you've realized it countless times before. Many have you have asked whatever happened to the 2003 Supporting Actress Smackdown and if you don't mind a little navel gazing you can click for more on the why and the new hopeful when...
Though I still don't want to bore you with the many reasons why it did not appear as scheduled. And as rescheduled... the fact is that it did not. And once the shame set in that I didn't deliver and that I had failed my participants (and they wrote wonderful things!) it was hard to think straight about it and get the work done. The Smackdowns are great fun to write and read but they're also a lot of work. For me Shame often takes the shape of over-promising and under-delivering. Which is just maddening. Because in truth, I am hugely proud of what's been delivered every day for years at The Film Experience. But when you over-promise it looks like you're not delivering. Overachiever's Self Sabotage!
Anyway. I am setting the shame at my blunder aside because I really miss the Smackdown and want it to return. I'm still deciding on a follow up year because it's not the work that's the problem (I love doing the work of The Film Experience) but feeling guilty when I over schedule myself and come up short. But anyway. I finally cracked my own whip and am making progress towards finishing it so it'll be here soon. Just wanted to let you know.
Speaking of Over-Promising...
Here's what I have planned for the rest of April (all 10 days of it). Mean Girls theme week (starting April 23rd), Supporting Actress Smackdown (Thursday the 24th) Tribeca Film Festival Coverage (April 20th-30th), two new episodes of Hit Me With Your Best Shot (April 22nd & 29th), April Showers, a new interview, April Foolish Oscar Predictions in all categories (April 27th-30th), and about 7 other things I'm working on. In short, I've gargantually over-promised. I should laugh about this rather than cry. I mean well! I really do.
I shall deliver what I can. Wish me luck.