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« Box Office: The Jersey Boys Fail to Entertain Audiences | Main | Review: "Jersey Boys" »
Sunday
Jun222014

65 Appropriate Ways to Celebrate Meryl Streep's Birthday

In honor of Meryl's 65th birthday today... channel her essence and celebrate her joie de vivre. You know you want to. 

65 Smile. Like you're mischievously pleased with yourself.
64 Master the tricky combo of being warm and relatable but also superior to the mere mortals around you
63 Be a total boss at your profession
62 ... and win a prize for it.
61 (Run around like a joyful maniac when you do)


60 ... or make a plan to do so. 
59 Pick up a strange accent today
58 ...abruptly change it at lunch
57 ....and then again at dinner 
56 Sleep with someone who is good with their hands, like, I don't know a sculptor or something. I'm just spitballing here...

55 more ways to celebrate after the jump

55 Imagine procreating with that person. Try to picture it: Your genes are so powerful that once you do you'll produce little mini-mes in abundance, same hair, same complexion, same patrician beauty, same everything.
54 Surround yourself with artists and actors and musicians
53 ... and/or encourage creativity in those around you.
52 Extol lefty politics
51 Pretend you went to Vassar and Yale for your higher education
50 (If you actually did don't make a fuss about it)
49 ... but if that's too hard and you never made it to college or you're still a teenager, remember / fantasize about your days as Homecoming Queen


48 Pretend you're way too vain and can't deal with aging - say "wrinkle wrinkle little star. Hopefully they never see the scars" in the mirror.
47 ... but actually be totally okay with it and too awesome to worry about how you look. Even at formal events.
46 Sing "He's Me Pal" to your best male friend
45... pretend (or actually be) drunk when you're doing it.
44 Sing "The Winner Takes It All" in the open air
43 Sing "Amazing Grace" to your best lesbian friend

42 Sing "You Don't Know Me" that classic Ray Charles track
41 Sing something from Into the Woods
40 Sing "I See Me" in the mirror
39 The point is you gotta sing SOMETHING today. Meryl loves to sing and she's great at it.
38 Act out scenes from Death Becomes Her with your best friend. Call each other "Mad" and "Hel" and quote as many lines as you can remember

37 ...or at least work a few of them into your conversations (I know you already do this but humor me). The easiest are probably

NOW a warning?

and

I can see RIGHT THROUGH YOU!" 

36  Make eyes at someone who looks like Robert de Niro, Kevin Kline, Clint Eastwood, Jack Nicholson, Robert Redford, Alison Janney, Kurt Russell or Jeremy Irons. Those are your "types" for today... that should give you a lot to work with.
35 Remember John Cazale fondly. (He only made classic movies so that should be easy to do.)
34 Scowl at anyone who looks like Bruce Willis, Dustin Hoffman, or Woody Allen
33 Make out with the closest approximation of Sandra Bullock you can find

32 Befriend someone who looks like Cher (I know they'll be hard to find. So... okay, anyone who's had any work down or with a distinctive voice)
31... make that person call you "Mary Louise" today
30 Call up your mother and banter

29 Monologue about that farm you once had in Africa
28 ... or an awful gift your mother gave you
27 ... or the color "cerulean"
26 Do or say something really dramatic in an elevator

25 Scream "That dingos got my baby!" at least once.
24 Describe yourself like so "I am the French Lieutenant's WHORE"
23 Make all of Carrie Fisher's best lines your own "Instant gratification takes too long"
22 Never take things too seriously including these 65 assignments (but I hope you'll do at least 10 of them)
21 Laugh frequently


20 Make sure others to do the same
19 Make dinner tonight and serve it in your best Julia Child voice
18 While you're cleaning up make sure to get all neurotic and do a "I see to be unravelling" The Hours speech as you slump to the floor
17 Read the play "Master Class"
16 Pull on your skin and recreate this iconic Annie Liebovitz Rolling Stone cover

15 Post that picture online with your ode to Meryl
14 Get high with someone who looks like Steve Martin
13 ...while you're still stoned imitate the dial tone of a phone
12 Find a way to work "I have so many doubts" into the conversation today
11 If you're in Hollywood visit Meryl's star on the Walk of Fame
10 Watch this video. I made it five years ago so it's missing the last handful of movies, but I'm still proud of it.

09 Withoug looking them up and RIGHT NOW try to recite the lineups of all of her acting nomination categories in supporting 78,79,02 and lead 81,82,83,85,87,88,90,95,98,99, 06,08,09,11,13. Tell us which ones stumped you in the comments
07 Watch any Meryl movie
06 Eat your fish, bitch.


05 Quote as many lines from The Devil Wears Prada as you can remember. (You might wanna block out two hours for that since surely you can recite the whole thing)
04 Say "I think I'll buy the flowers myself" and then actually go out and do it. You deserve a nice floral arrangement today.
03 Say "That's ridiculous" in your best Polish accent every time you complete one of these 65 items.
02 Show everyone that you're hear to stay
01 Quote this last line until you believe it, because you should.

There is no one else who can do what I do."

 

That's all.

 

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Reader Comments (28)

And do a "Sophie's Choice" reenactment while choosing over anything.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentercraver

Watch her play a game with Ellen and find a friend to play charades with, laugh charmingly while playing.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLadyEdith

I actually loled at number 55. I think about that every time I see one of her spawn.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTB

M ajesty
E ternally
R ules
Y our
L ife

Bow down.

"That's all"

Try to cast Meryl to play your life. It'll be so much better. ;)

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSonja

Oh and no matter how much hated she is for Doubt.... That SAG win was worth it.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSonja

Or you could steal Jane Fonda's limelight twice!!

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermark

What I think I love most about her is her recognition and, in turn, her playfulness with being in such rarified air. She is a STAR (a fully respected one at that) and she doesn't mind playing one in her appearances or when she's giving those wonderful speeches. It helps to be quick witted and just smart as hell. I think that's why she continues to be embraced and lauded, even if the films are lacking or the "dragon lady" formality gets to be a bit much. Who doesn't want her at the party!? She's the best, we know it, she knows it, and we're all gonna have a helluva time talking about it. Happy Birthday!!!

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVal

Be so great consistently that being merely good is seen as mediocre.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterF

I'm always a bit taken aback when I remember she's only in her sixties. I thought her 75th was coming up.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Awesome post.
Happy birthday La Streep!

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJames T

Maggie Smith
Katharine Hepburn
Shirley MacLaine
Geraldine Page
Cher
Jodie Foster
Kathy Bates
Susan Sarandon
Gwyneth Paltrow
Hilary Swank
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Helen Mirren
Kate Winslet
Sandra Bullock
Cate Blanchett

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter3rtful

I briefly met Meryl at the BAFTAs two years ago, she held my hand and called me 'darling', it's still one of the best moments of my life. I haven't seen The Hours in years so I'm watching it tonight in her honour. Happy Birthday, Meryl!

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

The gift that gives every year. You are the best.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNick Davis

#9: OMG. I was coasting along until that item.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPaul Outlaw

Aging gracefully, yet staying so sensual and sexy. A woman's face, not some mockup of one that stretches and pulls to the point when you can't tell the difference between a slightly raised eyebrow or an artificially enhanced eyelid no matter how expensive it was.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPatryk

Dismiss your most vocal detractor as a "poor Jewish girl" who was jealous of your long, blonde hair. Feign humility. Showboat. Campaign aggressively for accolades and act stunned when you receive them.

3rtful--love yours. :)

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMike M.

Long Live the Queen!

Happy B-Day to Queen Meryl, I am really grateful to be alive while she exists, such a talented and wonderful woman, no matter what you think of her performances, you can't deny her charisma and great personality. I can't wait for all the Meryl to come, great post Nat :)

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

"I SEE ME! (and I like what I see)"

I'd like to think that Goldie Hawn showed up at Meryl's door and was like "Meryl! I must speak with Meryl at once!" and they giggle and Meryl invites her in. Then Nicole and Julianne show up with a big beatiful cake (that Juli baked) and some ginger, you know, for the children. And then they all prank call Anne Hathaway.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSad man

sad man -- i love this fantasy that Goldie & Meryl reenact that regularly. Sometimes when I'm blogging I feel just as unhinged as fat Goldie. "I would like to blog about...." NO DON'T DO IT DON'T DO IT "... Meryl Streep"

June 22, 2014 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

I still think Hollywood is really overlooking the fact that there's a blockbuster film franchise starring Meryl Streep that needs to happen. She should lead the female version of The Expendables. She can kick ass and be funny. Give her a good slate of actress and have Kathryn Bigelow direct the film. Billions of dollars will be made.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSteven

LOVED the challenge with naming all the nominees! Didn't get Penelope Milford (78), Candice Bergen (79), and Julie Walters (83). I blame the fact that I don't obsess over supporting actress nearly as much as leading actress, and that the race of 1983 is rarely discussed! I guess that's because it was clearly always going to be MacLaine. Had trouble with Holly Hunter (1987, the horror!), Julia Roberts (90), and Janet McTeer (99) too.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

Meryl Streep + Don Gummer = the best of everything

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMareko

I am grateful for every single performance. Simply the best!

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbrandz

@ Mike M. who did Meryl call a "poor Jewish girl"? you got me really curious, please explain :)

@ 3rtful, a nice list of names, but I didn't get it, please explain :P

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterYavor

@ Yavor, seriously? It's a list of the women Meryl has lost the Oscar to.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMia

3rtful


still the bitch!

Happy Birthday, Meryl!!!!!

June 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrick

@rich

Let him.

Meryl looks at her three golden guys and thinks: "Whatever."

June 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSonja

rick I mean, not rich. Sorry. *gg*

June 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSonja
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