In honor of Meryl's 65th birthday today... channel her essence and celebrate her joie de vivre. You know you want to.
65 Smile. Like you're mischievously pleased with yourself.
64 Master the tricky combo of being warm and relatable but also superior to the mere mortals around you
63 Be a total boss at your profession
62 ... and win a prize for it.
61 (Run around like a joyful maniac when you do)
60 ... or make a plan to do so.
59 Pick up a strange accent today
58 ...abruptly change it at lunch
57 ....and then again at dinner
56 Sleep with someone who is good with their hands, like, I don't know a sculptor or something. I'm just spitballing here...
55 Imagine procreating with that person. Try to picture it: Your genes are so powerful that once you do you'll produce little mini-mes in abundance, same hair, same complexion, same patrician beauty, same everything.
54 Surround yourself with artists and actors and musicians
53 ... and/or encourage creativity in those around you.
52 Extol lefty politics
51 Pretend you went to Vassar and Yale for your higher education
50 (If you actually did don't make a fuss about it)
49 ... but if that's too hard and you never made it to college or you're still a teenager, remember / fantasize about your days as Homecoming Queen
48 Pretend you're way too vain and can't deal with aging - say "wrinkle wrinkle little star. Hopefully they never see the scars" in the mirror.
47 ... but actually be totally okay with it and too awesome to worry about how you look. Even at formal events.
46 Sing "He's Me Pal" to your best male friend
45... pretend (or actually be) drunk when you're doing it.
44 Sing "The Winner Takes It All" in the open air
43 Sing "Amazing Grace" to your best lesbian friend
42 Sing "You Don't Know Me" that classic Ray Charles track
41 Sing something from Into the Woods
40 Sing "I See Me" in the mirror
39 The point is you gotta sing SOMETHING today. Meryl loves to sing and she's great at it.
38 Act out scenes from Death Becomes Her with your best friend. Call each other "Mad" and "Hel" and quote as many lines as you can remember
37 ...or at least work a few of them into your conversations (I know you already do this but humor me). The easiest are probably
NOW a warning?
I can see RIGHT THROUGH YOU!"
36 Make eyes at someone who looks like Robert de Niro, Kevin Kline, Clint Eastwood, Jack Nicholson, Robert Redford, Alison Janney, Kurt Russell or Jeremy Irons. Those are your "types" for today... that should give you a lot to work with.
35 Remember John Cazale fondly. (He only made classic movies so that should be easy to do.)
34 Scowl at anyone who looks like Bruce Willis, Dustin Hoffman, or Woody Allen
33 Make out with the closest approximation of Sandra Bullock you can find
32 Befriend someone who looks like Cher (I know they'll be hard to find. So... okay, anyone who's had any work down or with a distinctive voice)
31... make that person call you "Mary Louise" today
30 Call up your mother and banter
29 Monologue about that farm you once had in Africa
28 ... or an awful gift your mother gave you
27 ... or the color "cerulean"
26 Do or say something really dramatic in an elevator
25 Scream "That dingos got my baby!" at least once.
24 Describe yourself like so "I am the French Lieutenant's WHORE"
23 Make all of Carrie Fisher's best lines your own "Instant gratification takes too long"
22 Never take things too seriously including these 65 assignments (but I hope you'll do at least 10 of them)
21 Laugh frequently
20 Make sure others to do the same
19 Make dinner tonight and serve it in your best Julia Child voice
18 While you're cleaning up make sure to get all neurotic and do a "I see to be unravelling" The Hours speech as you slump to the floor
17 Read the play "Master Class"
16 Pull on your skin and recreate this iconic Annie Liebovitz Rolling Stone cover
15 Post that picture online with your ode to Meryl
14 Get high with someone who looks like Steve Martin
13 ...while you're still stoned imitate the dial tone of a phone
12 Find a way to work "I have so many doubts" into the conversation today
11 If you're in Hollywood visit Meryl's star on the Walk of Fame
10 Watch this video. I made it five years ago so it's missing the last handful of movies, but I'm still proud of it.
09 Withoug looking them up and RIGHT NOW try to recite the lineups of all of her acting nomination categories in supporting 78,79,02 and lead 81,82,83,85,87,88,90,95,98,99, 06,08,09,11,13. Tell us which ones stumped you in the comments
07 Watch any Meryl movie
06 Eat your fish, bitch.
05 Quote as many lines from The Devil Wears Prada as you can remember. (You might wanna block out two hours for that since surely you can recite the whole thing)
04 Say "I think I'll buy the flowers myself" and then actually go out and do it. You deserve a nice floral arrangement today.
03 Say "That's ridiculous" in your best Polish accent every time you complete one of these 65 items.
02 Show everyone that you're hear to stay
01 Quote this last line until you believe it, because you should.
There is no one else who can do what I do."