5 Suggestions for that Newly Announced DumBurton Film
Wednesday, March 11, 2015 at 1:35PM
Manuel here with your daily Disney update. By now you’ve probably already heard that Tim Burton, he of Alice in Wonderland & Big Eyes fame has signed on to direct a live-action adaptation of beloved Disney property Dumbo. With it, of course, came cries of “IS NOTHING SACRED?!” despite large corporations (in particular the Mouse House) constantly letting us know that, no, actually nothing is. Especially when we’re all so eager to shell out money for Phase 1 of their live action remake roster.
So, rather than rehearse those conversations (“What will they turn to next; Fantasia?!”) or snarkily, if gleefully, begin to imagine what other director/Disney film pairings we could come up with (Fincher’s Ursula, Bigelow’s Mulan, Apatow’s Hercules…), I figured we’d offer some suggestions for this Dumburton film:
• Cast Andy Serkis as Dumbo (or maybe Sean Gunn who did such great work on Rocket Raccoon?)
• Steer away from casting Johnny Depp (no one wants to see his take on Timothy Q. Mouse)
• If you’ll be recruiting past collaborators, make us excited about seeing what Colleen Atwood & Dennis Gassner could do with a circus (they did such great work on Big Fish)
• Gender-bend this mostly male story; might the crows be an all-female gang? (think of it: Ricci! Davis! Ryder! Green! Pfeiffer!)
• Keep it weird (but not Mad Hatter dancing weird, more like ‘is this really a drug-induced elephant dancing sequence?’ weird).
I’m sure we all have strong opinions on this one, so let’s hear ‘em! Are you the teensiest bit excited about this or is Disney’s cash-grab go back-to-the-animation-well more unsavory than when they used it to cast Glenn Close as Cruella DeVil back in the 90s?
Reader Comments (20)
Why hasn't Disney attempted a new "The Sword and the Stone"? Even "Pete's Dragon" is getting an overhaul. Or do they not hold the rights to it since it's adapted from a book? I feel like of all the reboot properties out there, doing a truly kid-friendly young Arthur and Merlin tale feels on-trend enough, but they probably wouldn't be able to resist slapping the term "gritty" on that too...
Depp will most likely play the ringmaster.
I wish I had more to add than UGH. but that's the only thing that's going through my mind.
It's one thing to reboot the old animated fairy tales with human characters. But to CGI an elephant defies all logic. Why is it so hard for money-blind execs to understand how this drains all the movie magic out of these beloved stories. Probably they just don't care. Some things need to remain rooted in a child's imagination. These greedy-ass reboots are an affront to that.
The only real suggestion should be to just scrap the idea entirely since this is probably the worst Disney film to 'live action' remake.
What Derreck said.
Wait! he promised a Beetlejuice 2 with Winona Ryder and Michael Keaton reteaming. Even Winona went around Sundance saying how this was going to happen and now this more likely CGI mess is going to suck up Burton's time!. I feel like I've been lied! :'(
Cris: I know. Especially since anything he does with Dumbo is going to amount to "Frankenweenie, but with the Burton completely drained out."
These films feel like those Annie Leibovitz Disneyland ads with modern celebrities. They're clever as photographs, but not worth stretching out to feature-film length.
I think Nathaniel's said this before about remakes... Instead of making modernized versions of classics, why not try remaking some of the less successful Disney films, those that didn't realize their full potential? The Sword in the Stone suggestion from David S. is a very good one. How about the Black Cauldron?
Cris: And that's far worse than anything he can do to screw up Beetlejuice 2. CAN he even screw-up Beetlejuice 2? If only Ryder and Keaton come back, my hope is that they structure the movie around the series having happened.
I think the only suggestion I could make to improve the project would be for someone to firebomb the office of whichever executive approved this monstrosity.
Anything but Dumbo. Anything but Tim Burton.
Burton loves freaks...but do we really need a live action "Dumbo" ?! Why doesn't Disney remake "Something Wicked This Way Comes" which is the perfect material for Burton.?
This is the dumbest shittiest dumbest news I've heard in a while. He's not even pretending he nothing more than a whore for Disney at this point. Like, where did your soul go?
Whatever, if he doesn't care about his choices, neither will I.
Jara - Disney reported is working on a "Something Wicked" reboot, but the person attached is Seth Grahame-Smith. So.
I've stood by Tim Burton's side all this time. Even after I saw Dark Shadows. But a live-action Dumbo?!?!?! There is no reason why anyone should make a live-action Dumbo. The cartoon Dumbo has that beautiful 'Baby Mine' scene, and I will admit I like Pink Elephants on Parade, but otherwise it's just kind of blah. Especially when there are so many amazing films to choose from!
I have a theory that these live-action remakes is Disney's way of getting around John Lasseter. They've been planning cash-grab sequels and prequels as made for cable/straight-to-DVD for years. When Lasseter came in, he shut most of those down. I'm guessing Disney still wants cash-grabs from their previous properties so they'll be going around John Lasseter by making these movies live-action.
Dumbo is my least favorite of the big-name Disney films. Burton is my least favorite of the big-name directors. So... my only recommendation is that movie-goers everywhere skip this one.
Maybe he has to make this in order to make BEETLEJUICE 2. :(
Well is guess this is even worse than the old days when Disney brought out the old cartoons every few years to new generations of kiddies who had not seen them and raked in the bucks,