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« Fave Costume: Dr Ellie Sattler from "Jurassic Park" | Main | Sir Sean Connery (1930-2020) »
Saturday
Oct312020

Beauty Break: Ten Sexiest Witches in Movies

HAPPY HALLOWEEN 👻🎃

Julian Sands in Warlock (1989) though, alas, we haven't seen it.

In the absence of writing time today, how about a visual list. Have you ever wondered why there are so few male witches (or warlocks if you will) in cinema? They're far more common on television. And when warlocks or sorcerers are portrayed in cinema they're usually asexual (sorry but Doctor Strange is the least sexy Avenger!) or old men and are just as likely to be good as evil.

Witches on the other hand are often sexual and usually beautiful... though the beauty is often an illusion. Many of those most glamorous witches are hiding a hideous side -- like they're secretly an old decrepit crone or something less than human (think of Anjelica Huston in The Witches... which we often do). Or maybe they are beautiful but their favourite disguise is something hideous (think Snow White's Queen). This frightening dichotomy and their dangerous sexuality surely has got heaps to do with cinema's male gaze. (This is a way of saying that we hoped for some gender parity in this holiday list of "Sexy Witches!" but it's almost all women.)

AFTER THE JUMP - TEN SEXIEST MOVIE WITCHES...

10 Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker) in HOCUS POCUS (1993)

09 The Sons of Ipswitch (Taylor Kitsch, Steven Strait, Sebastian Stan, etc...) in THE COVENANT (2006)

09 Constantine (Keanu Reeves) in CONSTANTINE (2005)

08 Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer) in STARDUST (2007)

07 Sally (Sandra Bullock) and Gillian Owens (Nicole Kidman) in PRACTICAL MAGIC (1998)

06 Mirror Queen (Monica Bellucci) in THE BROTHERS GRIMM (2005)

05 Queen Ravena (Charlize Theron) in SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN (2012)

04 Jennifer (Veronica Lake) in I MARRIED A WITCH (1942)

03 Morgana Le Fay (Helen Mirren) in EXCALIBUR (1981)

02 Gillian Holroyd (Kim Novak) in BELL BOOK AND CANDLE (1958)

01 Jane, (Susan Sarandon),  Sukie (Michelle Pfeiffer) and Alex (Cher) in THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK (1987)

Which of these witches would you most like to be spellbound by? 

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Reader Comments (17)

Honourable mention to Miranda Richardson in Sleepy Hollow (and Merlin).

October 31, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterCasper

Those last 3 goddesses,I wouldn't mind them putting a spell on me.

Doesn't Isabella Rossellini count in Death Becomes Her.

October 31, 2020 | Unregistered Commentermarkgordonuk

I always loved Maleficent in the animated Sleeping Beauty Disney classic.

October 31, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterTOM

OMG, I loved Warlock! I had such a crush on Julian Sands when it came out. I must've watched that movie 30 times.

October 31, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

Godfrey Gao in The Mortal Instruments should be topping this list.

October 31, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterWorking stiff

The Covenant was shit. Sebastian Stan was the only thing that kept that film from being a total shit-show. Everyone else was shit.

October 31, 2020 | Unregistered Commenterthevoid99

#1 is perfection but where is Isabella Rossellini in Death Becomes Her?

October 31, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterAntônio

Also here for the Isabella Rossellini

October 31, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterTom G

Warlock is funny. Very well done and smart. Watch it!

Stardust is very good. I love Michelle Pfeiffer playing the bad. A great cast led by Charlie Cox before Daredevil and Claire Danes is an interesting miscasting.

I Married a Witch is one of my favorite films ever, a masterpiece that together with the play of the same name of its version for the cinema, Bell, Book and Cradle(which is also on the list of this post), served as the basis for the TV show Bewitched, with a surprising Veronica Lake - for those who don't know her skills as a comedian - and still has a future superstar, Susan Hayward as March's possessive bride.

Bell Book and Cradle, so few people know and it's a shame. From the same year of Vertigo. Kim is stunning. Critics have always questioned her talent, but what she achieves on camera, few do.

The Witches of Eastwick always makes me think of Jack Nicholson as one of the ugliest and most charming leading men of the modern era (from the 1970s). Handsome men who came next like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise lack - at least on screen - his seductive power. Nobody thinks it's absurd that he conquer women on the big screen like Faye Dunaway, Diane Keaton, Jessica Lange, Kathleen Turner, Ellen Barkin or the beauties of the movie title, which is already a classic, and if it were done today it would have in the main role someone like George Clooney or the aforementioned Brad Pitt.

My favorite Witch of big screen? Veronica Lake. She is seductive and clumsy at the same time. And is able to climb stairs by the handrail, thing I've always wanted to do. And flew by car years before Harry Potter or Spielberg's bikes on the moon.

Where are the male Witches?

October 31, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterGwen

No Nancy, Sarah, Rochelle or Bonnie??

November 1, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterChoog

Shocked Angelica Huston didn't make this list. She never looked sexier and more beautiful than in that movie IMO. I mean obviously she also never looked worse as well, but that's why the performance is so great.

November 1, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterPeter

Peter, Anjelica Houston was all sex and beauty in Addams Family movies. More so than in The Witches.

November 1, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterPedro

The Disney animated witches were sexier

November 1, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterJaragon

I also vote for Maleficent in "Sleeping Beauty" (1959), magnificent. Aren't male witches called warlocks, and female witches, witches?

November 1, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterReggy Lou

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November 2, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterNidiTech

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November 2, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterNidiTech

Gwen: Thought the exact same thing about Jack Nicholson. He's always had some mystery appeal. I can't think of a single working today who is not conventionally handsome who could be paired with all the screen goddesses you mentioned. Diane leaves Keanu for him in "Something's Gotta Give," and you accept it. Keanu Freaking Reeves!

As for the poll, all are great picks. Love that the peerlessly luminous Pfeiffer gets two spots on the list. The men of the "Covenant" and Keanu obviously tickle my gay fancy, although I agree with thevoid99 that "The Covenant" was trash, and not fun trash.

Julian Sands in "Warlock" takes the ultimate personal prize.

November 4, 2020 | Unregistered CommenterMichael Johnson
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