Yes, No, Maybe So: "Jack the Giant Killer"
Saturday, December 17, 2011 at 3:20PM I was going to cover Dario Argento's Dracula but I just didn't have it in me. And besides, it wasn't really meant for public consumption... just interested distributors. If you'd like to bare your neck for the generally über sexy pair of new fangers Thomas Kretschmann and Asia Argento, you can read takes on that unfinished 3D effort over at Stale Popcorn and My New Plaid Pants. So let's look at another genre offering.
Nicolas Hoult climbs beanstalks, kills giants.
Fairy tale reworkings are all the rage these days so let's look at Bryan Singer's Jack and the Beanstalk um... Jack the Giant Killer instead. Did Jack and the Beanstalk sound too Veggie Tales or fairy tale quaint? One of the odd effects of not obsessing over movies while they're still in production like 95% of the movie blogs on the 'net is that I'm often totally taken by surprise when a trailer arrives because I've often forgotten that the upcoming movie even existed. Such was the case here so I had zero preconceived notions affecting reactions to the trailer.
YES NO MAYBE SO breakdown and trailer after the jump.
YES
- Bryan Singer made X-Men, X2, Apt Pupil and The Usual Suspects. Count me in.
- "Once darkness gets a taste for light. It will not stop."
- Love the violent beanstalk eruption and the house being carried away. That moment should be violent and vertical and it totally works in the split seconds we see here.
- Ewan McGregor! Insta-YES!!!
- Nicolas Hoult wet. Hey it sorta worked for A Single Man.
- After Tyrannosaur I feel very eager to see Eddie Marsan being violently killed by a Giant. What he did to Olivia Colman. I shan't ever forgive him!
- From what I can see of the costumes, I approve. Joanna Johnston sure is busy. War Horse, Lincoln, this...
- Any trailer that gives a key moment to a cat wins.
NO
- I hate that one dumb face Nicolas Hoult makes in combination with the rock music score. It's just screaming "This is a MODERN movie aboud a HIP dude. It's not some fairy-princess thing!" The trailer doth protest too much. There's still a fairy princess even if she's strutting around like a runway model.
- The image of the water stirring with the giant's footsteps. It doesn't really work in this context because it's a bit like "what am I looking at?" with no buildup context. And besides... when will people stop ripping off that classic moment from Jurassic Park? Come up with your own classic moment.
- Ugh. The eyeball. Those post title tags on trailers. That gimmick is as aged as this fairy tale.
maybe so
- Bryan Singer made Valkyrie.
- The movie appears to be trying awfully hard: cue slow-mo of the princess doffing her cape while working the palace's (literal) red carpet. WERK!
Are you a Yes, No, or Maybe So?
Will you climb Hoult's beanstalk? You know what to do in the comments!
Reader Comments (19)
I love that you visualized your yes-no-maybe so thoughts.
I'm a maybe so/no. It might turn out to be fun but I'm sure in the end I'll feel sorry for the giants being killed (I always feel sorry for the bad guy when he/she gets killed or whatever especially when the movie seems to want us to sadistically enjoy it) and Hoult will have bored me by the end of the first half.
I already know the answer as to why it isn't this way, but how much more of a YES would this be if Bryan Singer were to put a homo spin on something like this? What if Nicolas Hoult was rescuing, like, Eddie Redmayne or one of the Treadaway brothers?
I'm kind of a no. It's the "hip/modern" thing with the "take ourselves very seriously" thing with the "did you notice how macho we are?" thing.
Maybe leaning no. If reports surface indicating Hoult spends a significant amount of the movie with his shirt off I reserve the right to revise this opinion.
Absolutely No. But isn't Nick Hoult dreamy? :)
NO! NO! NO! NO! I was actually interested in maybe seeing this at the theatre until I saw this trailer. Generic grey toned action pic with fantasy elements. And under no, you forgot this tidbit: Bryan Singer made Superman Returns, the most BORING superhero pic EVER. You get next to no character development, the little there is makes you hate the hero, they try to make it an action movie but the prelude to the action lasts longer than the action to stretch the runtime and Luthor's plan is straight from The Producers, which goes against the muted, "you should take this seriously" colour palate. With a different colour palate and a tone shift I would have loved a focus on Luthor. As is? There's kryptonite forming land masses as an eight minute sequence! (sigh) Singer...Ang Lee's Hulk was backloaded with character development and he clearly had little idea how to frame action, but he was also experimental formally, made you care for the characters and didn't have the Hulk transformation take EIGHT MINUTES.
The "Bryan Singer made Valkyrie" bullet point made me laugh incessantly-I'm not 100% sure why, but it tickled me something fierce.
I kind of agree with RJ-when, oh when, are we going to have a mainstream gay-themed film that isn't an independent drama? I want just one where it's a fantasy or a rom com or even a musical, for god's sake.
Oh, and yes, I would climb Nic Hoult's beanstalk any day of the week, so I'll likely be seeing this movie.
Superman Returns: D+. Ultimately, I'll wait until I see a Bryan Singer film score in the 90s on RT before I risk a dud.
Hulk: B. It's not the hottest boy in the room in regards to Superhero films, but it's still more interesting than the Hulk that came five years later.
i'm confused - is there a killer who's a giant or someone other than jack who kills giants?
these high concept hollywood films go right over my head...
@JohnT I want a big, dumb Hollywood action movie that has a set of gay leads. That's what I want. I want to see Spiderman catching Josh Hutcherson after he falls from a high place. I want to see David Henrie and whatever Abercrombie and Fitch model they can scrounge up running away from Autobots and Deceptacons. I want, nay, demand more gay leads in stupid explosion movies!
A grudging Maybe So. Mainly for Ewan, but the fact I found him hard to spot in the trailer gives me pause. Nice screen grab though!
I'm a yes, because of McGregor.
Bryan Singer made X-Men and X2 (my favorite superhero movie of all time), but he also made Superman Returns, add that to the fact that that decision left the third X-Men movie in the hands of Brett Ratner and some serious residual anger comes in to play (grrrrrr...). I like the cast though, besides Hoult and McGregor there's also Stanley Tucci, Bill Nighy and Ian McShane (according to IMDb), so I can't count it out completely. I'm in between a YES and MAYBE SO.
Also: I totally thought of Gremlins when the guy told Hoult to be sure not to get the beans wet.
My how Herr Hoult has grown! (Hard to believe this is the kid with the unfortunate haircut from About A Boy.)
I'm a maybe so depending on the reviews. (The title treatment though was uncomfortably reminiscent of Land of the Lost [shudder], and we know how awful that one turned out.)
I am on board for this because I...Just...Can't...Stop...Myself from going to pure eye candy cinema, no matter how odorous the cheese surrounding it.
Also - I believe there was a story (and there was certainly a movie) entitled "Jack the Giant Killer" that are not based on the story "Jack and the Beanstalk", as silly as that might sound. I will have to check on that.
Carl -- i know that efeeling. not being able to help oneself with certainy types o' movies
mareko -- i dunno. his face is still super boyish, right?
Well, I LOVE that first screengrab, Nat - Ewan McGregor, yes! (He's one of the few men on earth I would willing go hetero for and climb his beanstalk. *ahem*) Of course the movie I really want to see is the one starring Ewan McGregor, not this baby-faced kid...and he's all strong and macho in his sexy-fancy armor until the fabulous flame-haired Queen (nay, Empress) Satine comes down from her tower and asks him "is that a sword in your scabbard or are you just happy to see me?" whereupon he tosses aside his breastplate and launches into song....
...but, alas, that is not THIS film, so it's a NO.
BTW - having ONE female character, who we see very little of and who needs to be rescued is SO 19th century. This being the 21st century, there really is no excuse for that anymore. Honestly, I'd rather see some of the gay male films y'all are suggesting, than the 13th million movie that has just one cardboard female character thrown in as a token so the male characters don't seems "gay" to middle American. (Which they totally do, anyway.)
And speaking of, I want some woman-on-woman action. Of course if we can't get more than ONE female in a film, then that's pretty hopeless. If Snow White and the Huntsman were to feature K-Stew and Charlize getting it on? Totally YES.
Janice - that's a big YES to both your film ideas: Ewan climbing the stalk to Satine, and KStew and Charlize getting it on in SWATH. You should be running a studio :)
Also, LOL re these male characters seeming totally gay to middle America. I bet you're right!