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March of the (Oscar) Penguins

Oscar binge posting. Let's get it out of our systems. No thought must go unuttered. (Oh dear*) Well, until Sunday's podcast. You get it out of your system, too, in the comments!

Hulk and Puny Humans

I selected 9 men for display. You'll have to tell me who you think is best dresed as there's a dizzying amount of variation in men's formal wear. Would you like black with a blueish tint, black with a grayish tint, bow tie, white tie? Long tie? vest? The possibillites are ENDLESS.

Today Mark Ruffalo tweeted...

Hulk Smash. Hulk Destroy. Hulk Cuddle.

He's the only actor I can think of that would convince me to watch The Hulk again onscreen. But we're poll happy lately so let's convert it to suit (haha) this post.



Mr Penélope Cruz, Peter Parker, The King, Jude Law

So who do you think was best dressed: the Ruffster, Jakey, Armie Hammer, Hugh Jackman, Robert Downey Jr, Javi, Spider-Man, Jude Law or Colin Firth?

Before you decide try not to let that gold shiny accessory of Colin's sway your vote. That accessory always puts people on best dressed lists. Totally unfair advantage.

Yes, there were more men than this at the Oscars but I had to disqualify a few people right up front: Justin Timberlake because his suit looked too big on him; Jesse Eisenberg because he didn't step it up not one notch from previous awards shows; Christian Bale because of the beard; and Jeff Bridges because he's looking more and more like a muppet version of Jeff Bridges*

* There's almost nothing we love more than Muppets but we don't generally think of them as fashionistas. Also: if there is anything we love more than Muppets it is probably Jeff Bridges. Also and: perhaps Nathaniel is taking too many cold/flu medicines?

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Reader Comments (31)

Take more meds and give us more Oscar dreams! My vote goes to Jakey, but if they weren't wearing suits (or anything, for that matter) he'd still have my vote.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commentereurocheese

I'll pick Colin Firth. Tom Ford is just making him his muse and it's been lovely. Plus I hear his studs/buttons/something were diamonds? I mean when one is nominated for an Oscar and expected to win, you gotta step it up!

I agree about Eisenberg BTW. For me it was the hair. I mean as someone with curly unruly hair, I feel his pain, but I'm sure he has stylists at his beck and call considering he's a frickin' nominee. In fact most of the hairstyles he sported in SNL could've worked!

But speaking off... I get why they put Bardem and Brolin in matching outfits since it went with the theme, but really? REALLY?

#didn't realize I had a lot to say about men and their fashion on Oscar night

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRyan T.

Javier wins it for me, love the vest. Jakey comes in second (he looks great in just about anything though).

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranna

Based on those pictures alone: Jake (and not because I love him so-- it just seems like the best fit), followed by Javier and Colin.

Jake needs another Oscar bait role. I'm thinking he's a lot like Amy Adams-- he'll need to rough it up to get a nomination since he's just so cute. Unless you're a Hollywood legend, it seems like Oscar prefers you to *not* be yourself.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvan

Colin Firth looks more of a muppet that Jeff Bridges. Why am I the only person who sees this?

And I don't know why I think Hugh Jackman has the best formal wear even if Jude Law and RDJ should be the obvious choices. Maybe it's because of the body. Also, I wish Mickey Rourke had more Oscar bait movies so I'll see him in the red carpet more. I actually like his fashion sense. He mixes it up.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaolo

Actually, Nate, it's not the meds; you're dead-on about Jeff Bridges. Which reminds me - anyone remember when he was an interesting and versatile actor? Starman, The Fabulous Baker Boys; and yes he made a lot of forgettable stuff, but he was willing to try all sorts of things (not always to his benefit). At what point did he not only decide to play endless variations on "The Dude" (the Dude a soulless corporate exec (How to Lose Friends...), the Dude as Army hippie guru (Men who stare at Goats), the Dude on horseback (True Grit), - but also decide to be "the Dude" full time in real life, or was he always thus?

And, anyone remember when he was one of the handsomest men onscreen? (And I say this as a lesbian, btw, but...) Remember what a gorgeous face? I don't think's it's been disfigured a la Mickey Rouke and sir, you are older, yes but you are NOT Kirk Douglas (yet.) Would it really, really kill you to shave, just once? To get a haircut?

I had no idea I'd been holding that in so long, thank you.

BTW - I'm glad this is an actressexuality site, because men in penguin suits? All looks the same to me. But then again I'm sure that's what the penguins in the zoo say about us.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanice

Probably Andrew Garfield or Armie Hammer. Definitely NOT RDJ or Jude Law. WEAR A FUCKING TIE!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWill

Jude Law's head looks weird. It does not fit in proportion to his body.

Armie Hammer looks best to me. He's so tall I just can't help liking him. He also has that laid-back, unforced masculinity that makes Jon Hamm so appealing.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Armie Hammer was (literally, considering his family background) born to wear a tux.

And HAHA thanks for pointing out that Eisenberg was wearing the same exact thing as he always has. I can't believe he wore a goddamn tie. Both he and Bardem are like "it's enough, I'm on top of the world y'all, don't want/need anymore". Garsh I love him. I thought his hair looked good though! But the best accessory, hands down, was the sweet, shyly pleased look on his face before and after his nomination clip. it was the first time he didn't look embarrassed or taken aback at an awards show.

And I agree, Colin Firth has been sartorially superior ever since he became BFFs with Tom Ford. I've noticed that throughout the season. Can he really count as a "muse", though?

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStella

Oh, and Jude was lookin GOOD. I've just realized that I want to see him acting again, and not just as RBJ's foil. Man, did the overexposure of 2004 leave a permanent scar on his career?

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStella


PS Without any kind of suit I'll stick to Jake ;)

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy Sue

I really don't like bowties to Javier wins it for me, but outside of my unreasonable dislike for them, Jake Gyllanhaal is looking particuly good.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBroooooke

Jake Gyllenhaal and Javier Bardem, altough I really prefer them out of clothes

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFernando Moss

Hugh's double-breastedness wins easily.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSawyer

Hugh Jackman although I prefer the black long tie to a bow tie any day.

You're not hallucinating about Jeff Bridges btw. He came out to present and I thought that guy is doing a charicature of Jeff Bridges LOL Love the Muppets too so it's all good!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCity_Of_Lights

What I find most surprising is that the option "other" (ahem) isn't winning the poll.

I think that parenthood or universal love are making Javier heavier, though still hot, and also that Andrew Garfield could use a sandwich or two. I would've said Firth, but he really does nothing for me at that level (very well dressed, but I find impossible to see him sexually attractive). So, I'd go with Garfield, I'll feed him. ;)

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteriggy

Javier - waistcoat and tie for the win. Guy looks good with a couple of pounds on him.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaika

Best to Worst:
01.) Jakey
02.) Jude
03.) Hugh
04.) Armie
05.) Robert
06.) Andrew
07.) Colin
08.) Mark (nice tux. not sure on the hair though)
09.) Javier Bardem (usually would be much high but he's packed on the pounds here)

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

i want Jake out of that tux... and sitting on my face

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChris g

split opinions on Javier, eh.

rebecca -- i never noticed jude's head to body ratio before. some people do have bigger heads.

and we're always hearing that actors are short but lately i've noticed that doesn't seem to be the case. most of these guys are 5'10" or above. many 6 footers

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNathaniel R

I've always felt Andrew Garfield was the best dressed guy throughout this entire award season. Sure, it could be because I'm blinded by his good looks to point where he can wear his baggy second-hand British boarding school jumpers or he can dance up to me in his Hawaiian shirt and straw hat and I'd still say that. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeter

Colin Firth
Hugh Jackman
Mark Ruffalo

White satin duet of Bardem and Brolin.
If they were female, we'd say that made them look fat.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteradri

Um, Jude Law's head in that picture looks so big, are you sure you didn't put his head on someone else's body? LMAO

Hugh Jackman and Colin Firth tie for me. They look absolutely dashing but Firth always looks stiff to me.

Christian Bale's that for his Chinese film?

Spot on with Jesse Eisenberg. But I think he only cares about getting to sit front row and the food afterwards since he knew he'd lose. Plus I think it has to do with being curly your whole life, you don't comb and care for your hair as much when if you're straight-haired.

But you forgot to mention Russell Brand, worst hair at the Oscars. Seriously I bet it has infestations.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlily

lily -- i am sure. these are full photos. i just cropped out the other people and the carpets ;)

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNathaniel R

I know we're not supposed like James Franco anymore but I thought he had one of the best looks of the night (it was all gray). I know it was hard to focus on his suit when his face was so distractingly pinched, but...

PS: Janice on Jeff Bridges FTW.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSan FranCinema

SanFran -- Oh totally. i meant to explain why i didn't include Franco (trying to avoid making it about the hosting again... and Janice ftw on Bridges, yes.

i love love love Jeff Bridges (have since Starman) but it is true that he's getting samey samey now.

March 3, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Franco and Armie for sure-handsomeness to the nth degree.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohn T

Armie Hammer!

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGlenn

I don't like him much but I thought Jake G looked the best. I wondered if he would have been a better co-host to Anne than James. Yup, I'm still not over at how terrible James was!!!

Jesse's suit seemed like a rental or a handmedown to me, or a stolen one (he did mention stealing clothes from movie sets before hahaha). Seems like whatever money he makes off of movies goes to his cats. But I agree, he was adorable during the best actor nominees' clip.

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertsn

Armie Hammer Armie Hamer Armie Hammer!! Too damn beautiful! He'll be an Oscar nominee this time next year.

Also loved Jeremy Renner's shawl-collared, five-past-midnight-blue-it-was-very-almost-black YSL. Perfection.

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmir UK

Jude and Robert WERE wearing ties....white ties. I think they both looked the best, but I"m biased because I thought they both stood out that night for their sparkling presentation. They should totally host next year!!!!

PS, I ALWAYS fancy Jude in a tux, he always looks so freakin hot in one.

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersheryl
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