Review: "Haywire"
Friday, January 20, 2012 at 8:36AM 
If you've ever wanted to see Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender or Channing Tatum punched in the face repeatedly, HAYWIRE is your movie. At one time or another, the actors take quite a believable pummelling from rogue CIA agent Mallory (Gina Carano) in Steven Soderbergh's experimental action picture. Soderbergh first spotted his new muse, a real life mixed martial arts champ, while channel-surfing and was so transfixed he ended up building a feature around her. 'Why can't there be a female James Bond?' went his reasoning. He must have meant it in a loose sense for Mallory is no Bond. She's not super verbal, isn't at all comfortable at elegant black tie events, and has no discernible signature catchphrase. She orders no martinis, neither shaken nor stirred.
Carano's lack of acting experience shows when she's not fighting but thankfully that isn't often. Soderbergh, ever a resourceful director, keeps forcing her to dodge bullets, fists, and sharp objects...
P.S. What movies will you be catching up with this weekend? Have you ever wanted to punch Ewan, Channing or Fassy in the face?
Reader Comments (10)
I'll end up seeing this for Soderbergh; Ewan and Fassy helped seal the deal.
Channing Tatum is growing on me, although I've never seen a movie he's been in.
Have you ever wanted to punch Ewan, Channing or Fassy in the face?
yes....but not with my fist.
K.... hmmm. then how is he growing on you? just red carpet banter and magazine profiles?
par ... i feel a six things coming on.
Is this the best Soderburgh can do nowadays? *sigh* Then again I still cherish my memories of Sex, Lies and Videotape, which I saw in college. Good times.
I really don't get what the "men beating up women" thing is about; I don't know of any women who hold that sort of "superheroine" in their fantasies, whether they consider themselves feminists or not. (But then again maybe the young'uns nowadays do.) I remember being fascinated by Princess Leia, Catwoman and Wonder Woman, where the point was not violence but a certain amount of cunning and quick-thinking. Sgt. Ripley might be an exception, but again it was an exceptional situation, and you were always aware that she was a thinking and feeling human being, not a fighting machine.) When I thought "I want to be a strong woman" I was thinking in terms of personality and independence, not beating someone up. (Admittedly, I saw enough physical violence growing up that it holds little appeal for me.)
Some of the commenters over at Towleroad (who sounded very angry, indeed) said that they were sick of the "liberal" tendencies that I've mentioned above. (Just as I get irritated by the pervasiveness of "throw one minority or female into the mix and call it 'equality"!) I would say that it's not so much a "liberal" fantasy as a (liberal) MALE fantasy.
Janice -- i can't read comments over there. they hate me. lol.
Nathaniel, I know you said 'lol' at the end of your comment, but what do you mean? Did something happen with you and Towleroad readers? Their comments can get quite prickly, to say the least.
Love your blog, by the way! I've only commented a few times but I constantly check it all day.
Nat - I was wondering if they were heterosexual males trying to flood the site? (No, I really did.)
I'm looking at that ad for TinTin right now (I can't help it; it and the ads for Hugo are just HERE, and moving, and screaming "LOOK AT ME!" Gawd....) Am I the only person here who thinks that TinTin resembles Neil Patrick Harris more than he does Jamie Bell?
I hated Haywire. I'm probably going to obsess over Rotten Tomatoes over the weekend and count how many of those 83% fresh ratings are for 2.5/4 or 3/5 ratings. Probably most, since MetaCritic puts it at 67. Mediocre is a kind way to describe the film when Carano's not fighting. Not even wimpy Ewan McGregor gave me joy and I thought he made some good choices there.
The whole thing had five minutes of plot in ninety minutes of movie and I was going insane. I wound up laughing at the really stupid parts in a packed screening. I'm lucky I didn't get booted from the theater. Or unlucky, considering how much I didn't like it.
Nathaniel - it is the red carpets/interviews. Over the last year he's been promoted everywhere, which annoyed me at first, but now I'm wanting to give his movies a go.
DJDeeJay - nothing in particular happened but I just don't look at the comments there because I find it doesn't do anything but upset me. I prefer to surround myself with positivity. I love the TFE reader community who, even when they disagree, tend to be respectful of me and each other. Love that. If I didn't have that here it would be rough because it's actually a lot of work to write about movies every day for the love of it more than for any other reason.