Wednesday
Mar142012
Requiem for the Lorax
Wednesday, March 14, 2012 at 3:14PM 
What if Darren Aronofsky had directed The Lorax?
Don't mind me. Aronofsky is just on my mind because it's (π) Pi day = 3.14
tagged Darren Aronofsky, Mashups, Requiem for a Dream, The Lorax
Darren Aronofsky, Mashups, Requiem for a Dream, The Lorax
Reader Comments (12)
Oh man this is great. If Aronofsky had directed The Lorax it would have been far more enjoyable to watch. I can't even begin to imagine the dark places he would have brought The Once-ler
I love JConn's armpit-less sweater there.
Love it !!!
Looks like the girl in Lorax got a "if this is red, I wanna know what's orange"-style dye job as well.
He couldn't even bring himself to direct Wolverine 2. Call me unimaginative, but I'm not picturing it :)
darren aronofsky direct an animated children's film? never. he's far too busy directing highbrow, prestige pieces like jennifer lopez's kohl's commercial...
God remember how much PROMISE J Co had in the early aughts? What ever happened to her? She was gorgeous AND a terrific actress. I actually thought she deserved a Lead Actress nomination for the otherwise heavy-handed House of Sand and Fog, where she got all the nuances of depression just right without ever romanticizing it. Great performances in Requiem and House and of course she wins for the lame A Beautiful Mind. The quintessential Academy result.
@Jon: I too thought Jennifer Connelly remarkable in both Requiem for a Dream and House of Sand and Fog. The Academy would've done better to give her the Oscar in 2000 for Requiem instead of rewarding her for banality in 2001's a Beautiful Mind (!!!!)
@Nathaniel: thank you for still posting daily, even if the Oscars are over. Your site is always a highlight of my day. (I'm also eagerly waiting for that Film Bitch Award book you said you were going to publish. Any update on that?)
Well, I think we can all agree it would not be a lackluster and horribly dated animated musical with Aronofsky at the helm.
Or better yet, Danny DeVito directing Requiem for a dream.
Pretentious: I think the only reason he backed out of Wolverine 2 was Black Swan was such a massive and unexpected success. I'm guessing he was putting it's prospects at $50 million international, maybe $100 mil if the foreign markets bit harder (Arronofsky fandom has grown quite a bit since Requiem (lost studio less than a million) and The Fountain (didn't even gross as much as it's budget), but I can't imagine he predicted anything more than a slight jump up from The Wrestler's gross), but Black Swan wound up grossing $329 million. You don't go for a compromised commercial film like Wolverine 2 after audiences bite that hard for something that starkly uncompromising. If he was ever desperate for a hit movie to secure funding for something big (Noah (a movie I still think will wind up a boring, overlong mess) resulted from Black Swan's massive gross, so who knows what else he's thinking of), I'd think he'd be willing to bite the bullet.
I would very much like to purchase a few Thneeds, and I'm confident that their production can be supported by any economy/ecology capable of supporting the producer, cast, and distribution network of THE LORAX. Trees, after all, are not the only things that humans care about. Please direct me to a Thneed manufacturer, and/or to a source of patterns for knitting or crocheting a Thneed of my very own.</I>