"Are you thoughtless in your remarks?" - The Master Winners
Tuesday, February 26, 2013 at 7:03PM 
Maybe if we'd passed out free handjobs?Last week I asked readers to submit themselves to processing to enter a chance to win a copy of The Master on Blu-Ray. Whether it's the polarizing nature of the film or that I merely asked too much of you -- what's a little processing between friends? -- this contest had less participation than we usually get.
How come?
Nevertheless, The Master strikes me as the sort of film that those who enjoy will end up watching on loop to try to tease out its sometimes obtuse meaning.
Honorable Mentions: Apologies to Derreck whose entry was creepy sublime --- all right all right, we'll do The Talented Mr Ripley for Hit Me With Your Best Shot! -- and Checko whose entry was quite amusing. But I only have two copies to give away. Trust that I wish I had four.
THE WINNERS ARE
Winner #1 is Kenneth.
This informal processing just gets better and better as it goes. Loves it. I don't know if Kenneth is the bald one or the furry one but I'm crushing hard either way.
Winner #2 is Manuel
Who also went the extra mile. He submitted Nicole Kidman for processing! Ha. What would Nicole make of this? LOL. I personally loved it and you will too if you have a little Kidmaniac inside of you... here's a taste:
Are you thoughtless in your remarks?
NO. Biting and truthful maybe. Never thoughtless.
Do you linger at bus stations for pleasure?NO. I prefer train stations. They help me pass the hours.
So click on over to his blog to read the full processing.
Gentlemen, your Blu-Rays are on the way (or will be as soon as you get in touch with me to arrange)!
Reader Comments (3)
Well, damn. I had no chance of beating these two! lol. great job, guys!
they're both awesome! I must admit I'm not myself a Kidmaniac, but Manuel's Nicole is so great!
I didn't enter, but let me take a stab at a processing for Danny Fenton, from animated show Danny Phantom:
Are you thoughtless in your remarks?
Yes. I am only sixteen, after all.
Do you linger at bus stations for pleasure?
No. I sometimes wish I had the time, though.
Do your muscles spasm for no reason?
I'm way too active for there to be NO reason.
Do your past failures in life bother you?
Yes. Let's not even get into my life's parallel timelines.
Is your behaviour erratic?
No. It used to be when I was balancing two identities.
Do you find interest in other people?
Yes. I am a superhero, after all.
Are you scientific in your thoughts?
No. I can be "crafty", but I don't have the patience to be "scientific."
Do you often think about how inconsequential you...let's skip this one.
Do you believe God will save you from your own ridiculousness?
No. I don't even believe in God. There are no angels, there are no devils, there are only ghosts.
Have you ever had intercourse with someone inside your family?
No! This "processing" is really messed up, you know that?
Have you killed anyone?
No. The closest I've gotten is getting an alternate timeline version of myself to exist out of time. As I've already said, let's not go into more detail on that.
Fine. If you were locked in a room with someone for the rest of your life who would be there with you?
Can I get back to you on that in, say, ten years? Sixteen, after all.
Note: Sixteen is only a guess, but he's, at minimum, fifteen during the finale episode.