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Wednesday
Dec032014

Red Carpet Lineup: Gotham's Revenge of the Nineties

NATHANIEL: Hello dear readers. I'm pleased to announce the return of the Red Carpet Lineup series for awards season kicking off with The Gotham Awards. It's the fashion series for people who don't care who people are wearing so much as who be doing the wearing. This season I'm happy to say that two ladies who could walk the red carpet themselves are joining me: TFE's Los Angeles Branch divas Anne Marie & Margaret.

I'm calling this post "Revenge of the Nineties" because look at all these Nineties A-Listers? or at least B+ Listers (hi Heather Graham!) lighting up the room again.

UMA, ROLLERGIRL, RENE, FAMKE, and KEENER

MARGARET: I love the variety. Whatever else you can say about these outfits, they all should have felt pretty confident they weren't going to see anyone else showing up in the same thing.

NATHANIEL: I have a 100% certainty about which of these outfits Anne Marie would wear (The Russo - ding ding ding) but Margaret? If you were a 90s superstar trying to get your groove back what would we see you in?

ANNE MARIE:  I'm actually wearing Rene Russo's jacket right now. How awkward...

NATHANIEL: ...But Margaret? If you were a 90s superstar trying to get your groove back what would we see you in?

MARGARET: I think I'd go with Ms. Janssen's ensemble. All of these outfits are A Lot of Look, but that kicky little mini-dress looks easiest to pull off without mega-star-wattage, plus it provides a welcome dash of color in a neutral-heavy lineup.

NATHANIEL: Awww, "kicky" is my favorite underused adjective and Famke is one of my favorite underused stars

ANNE MARIE: Speaking of A Lot Of Look, what exactly is going on with Catherine Keener? Is that a dress? A coat? I like it in concept, but in execution it looks like a boxy reject from AHS: Coven

Broken toes, Alien haircuts, and secrets to luscious movie star hair after the jump... 

NATHANIEL: You're on to something. I suspect this is exactly what Lou Eyrich would've put Diane Keaton in if she'd agreed to do the show. I don't know that they ever asked her, mind you, but damn she'd be a good surprise attack, right?

ANNE MARIE: Now I'm praying for a fifth AHS with Keaton and Keener as guest stars.

MARGARET: That explanation has made me warm somewhat to the coat, but what in warmed-over 90210 Barbie Hell is on Ms. Keener's feet? Those shoes are making me very, very sad.

NATHANIEL: Please don't say "feet" today. I sprained or fractured or broke my toe or something last night and today I hobbled through an Angelina Jolie luncheon so I'm typing at you from a fog of pain. And anything other than huge fluffy slippers (which you can't wear to Angelina Jolie luncheons with a coat and tie dress code as it turns out) won't do.

ANNE MARIE: Aw, I'm so sorry! Invest in a cane. Looks classy, and allows you to beat back the crowds while you hobble over to Jolie.

MARGARET: In deference to Nathaniel's pain, let's move in the opposite direction. What say we of the hairstyles on display? I'm very into the 'do on Russo, but Uma's bangs aren't doing much for me.

NATHANIEL: Agreed but I approve of all the other dos. Lightning round: Pick and actress and tell me your single favorite thing about her and her outfit. I'll start: UMA's very existence (you guys cant even imagine how obsessed I was in the 90s... no wait, you probably can given this blog's existence) & UMA's bell sleeves.

ANNE MARIE: (Uma just joined my AHS Season 5 dreamcast) Also, I am here for Russo's power hairstyle, power jacket, and power smirk.

MARGARET: My favorite thing about Heather Graham is how well she's come to understand her star presence. Just looked to her extended cameo in the recent Horns to see what I mean. She knows exactly what she does well, and she's nailing it. And about her outfit... well, I really appreciate her boldness in risking polter-wang for that jumpsuit. She always looks like she's having a great time. 

[*Nathaniel & Anne Marie google polter-wang and peels of laughter follow*]

NATHANIEL: She will always be Rollergirl to me and therefore I will always have time for her. Round two!

GUGU, Alysia, Lorraine, Schumer & Slate

ANNE MARIE: Good lord, there is nothing on this red carpet that can beat how exceptional Gugu Mbatha-Raw looks in that dress.

MARGARET: Is the theme of this one, Ladies Who Should Definitely Have Huge Careers? Because that's what I'm feeling for this.

NATHANIEL: The theme of this one is roughly - ladies who didn't fit into round 1 or round 3 themes but I appreciate that you've come up with one. The theme of this piece is also TWO LADIES ANNE MARIE AND I MET AT AFI PARTIES (Alysia Reiner & Lorraine Toussaint) plus three.

ANNE MARIE:  YES! Also One Lady Margaret And I Saw In A Garage Once But Didn't Have the Guts To Say Hi To. Although she did tweet me back.

MARGARET:(Jenny Slate, I love you!)

NATHANIEL:  You guys I interviewed her last week (forthcoming) and she had me on a stop watch timer or something. INTIMIDATING. 

ANNE MARIE:  Yikes! Maybe she was too busy cutting the middle section out of her dress.

NATHANIEL:  The shape of this dress makes me think of the Sydney Opera House only blood red or a razor sharp shark fin but maybe that's just because stop watches terrify me because interviews are stressful enough - how to ask all the questions in 15 minutes?

MARGARET: I liked this dress so much more when I saw the picture in miniature and I thought that was a waist tie. I'm ready for the Midriff to go back out. That said, she looks smashing, and that color is aces on her.

ANNE MARIE: I keep having 10 Things I Hate About You flashbacks, because that's the last time I can remember midriff dresses being a thing. Late 90s fashion, I do not miss you.

NATHANIEL:  Two questions before we move on.

  1. Do you think this dress is bold enough for GUGU to remind people that they should "consider" her for Best Actress?  
  2. Do you think every actress runs up to Alysia and Lorraine at all events and tells them how much they love Orange is the New Black and how they wish their was a role for them on it and they'd even do a cameo like Lori Petty and her ear glob just to be on it. 

MARGARET: 1. Per Gugu's look, I think she played it just right. Extremely simple hair & dress work well because they just get out of the way and let That Face do the talking. Also, her stylist is Neil Rodgers (who also dresses Anna Kendrick) and I trust him to do good things for her.

NATHANIEL: Look at the things you know Margaret!

MARGARET: 2. I'd bet all my money that Alysia and Lorraine do get those requests, but in case Amy Schumer and Jenny Slate didn't get to it, let me request on their behalf! They're both based in New York so it would be easy-peasy, and can you just imagine the comic storylines those writers could cook up for them?

ANNE MARIE: I have nothing to add, except to say that Margaret has crazy cool stylist knowledge and also works pro bono as my stylist. You can find her on twitter at @says_margaret

NATHANIEL:  Do you also do men, Margaret, because your boyfriend looks great and I could use some pointers?

MARGARET: For you, Nathaniel, anything. Friends and family rate, naturally. ;)

NATHANIEL: Okay last round... the theme of this one is WINNERS.

Oscar Winner, Gotham Winner, Emmy Winner, Oscar Winner, Tony Winner

...Now technically Marisa and Scarlett didn't win any prizes Monday night but WE win when they show up... anywhere.

ANNE MARIE: I am probably going to be in the minority when I say this, but I absolutely love ScarJo's haircut.

NATHANIEL:  All i kept thinking was...

MARGARET: That eye makeup is certainly helping the comparison. Hers might be my favorite dress in the lineup, but the angle makes it hard to tell.

ANNE MARIE:  Can we get her to pompadour it up a bit and stand next to Tilda? They can be haircut twins!

MARGARET: One an alien on screen, another an alien in real life! There's a buddy comedy I want to see...

ANNE MARIE:  Me too! But first we get a movie with Tilda and Amy Schumer.

MARGARET: The movie gods are good.

NATHANIEL: They are. I wish never to incur their wrath because Tilda's career is basically an impossibility (just try to compare her to anyone else ever. IT CAN'T BE DONE) and we are all the better for it. But on other note It's almost disgusting how cool Tilda & Scarlett both are ALL THE TIME especially for those of us hobbling around with fractured toes and ill-fitting suits at very ritzy events.

ANNE MARIE:  Literally no one else could pull off that dress that Tilda is wearing. And I say that knowing that by Swinton standards, it's actually pretty tame. Remember when she won an Oscar wearing a black curtain? That was a good day.

NATHANIEL: It was an impossible day and yet it exists and cannot be erased.

MARGARET: La Swinton wears a variation on this silhouette a lot, and it really works for her. Tessa Thompson, rewarded for Breakthrough Performance for her work in Dear White People, is also doing an avant-garde sort of thing here. It reminds me a bit of a gown Cate Blanchett wore on the Blue Jasmine circuit. I love her, and I hope she gets more opportunities to strut red carpets in structurally daring, eye-catching fashion It'd be hard not to be worn by that dress, but she's pulling it off.

NATHANIEL:  There seems to be a weird 20s energy to all these black dresses with fringe-like non fringe details and geometric square patterns -- i dont know what i'm talking about - and I like it. I like Julianne's top best because it reminds me of a deck of cards only since it's Julianne no matter what hand you're dealt you win.

ANNE MARIE:  I refuse to blaspheme our great deity, so my lips are sealed except to say "Yay Julianne Moore won!" 

MARGARET:I would very much like to learn what hair-glossing stuff Julianne uses, that I might put it on my holiday wishlist. So shiny.

ANNE MARIE: Unfortunately, I believe that's just raw star power and a steady diet of critical acclaim that keeps her hair so shiny.

MARGARET: I wish I could live on a steady diet of critical acclaim. I bet my skin would look fantastic, too.

NATHANIEL:  You can't bottle it. And if you could imagine the price tag.

ANNE MARIE: I'm sure Isabella Rossellini is willing to sell it in exchange for cash and your immortal soul.

NATHANIEL:  Say it with me now readers...

NOW, a warning?"

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Reader Comments (9)

Can I just say, DAMN GUGU. This girl deserves to be a superstar. Two great performances in one year and now this flawless red carpet game? Well done, madam.

December 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJonny

No surprises. Uma and Tilda forever!

December 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy Sue

Line-up one-For night Uma looks best and the bangs don't bother me. For day Rene is super sharp, love the entire look.

Catherine Keener is just a no. From the placement of her shoes perhaps she was turning and that contributed to the sack like appearance of that awful coat dress but it still looks like it would just hang on her.

Line-up two-Gugu wins. I love Lorraine and she looks great, the purse and shoes compliment each other so well but maybe it's the way she's standing or the angle of the photo but the split in her dress cuts her bust in an unattractive way.

Line-up three-I'd say Tilda wins, I could see Cate Blanchett carrying off that dress as well. Julianne is a goddess but that dress is too young for her. I think Scarlett looks better with longer hair but she changes it up frequently so she'll probably grow it back out soon, maybe the shorter hair is easier with the new baby.

December 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjoel6

Scarlett's hair is dynamite, but those pumps have. Got. To. Go. (Speaking of go, go Rene! Get that Oscar nom, girl.)

December 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMareko

I love Famke dearly but she never looks great on the red carpet. It's so weird since she basically has potential to completely slay if given the right dress and styling.

December 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDerreck.

Why can't Jessica Lange be on this red carpet?

December 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbrookesboy

Meryl was stunning as well.

December 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

What criteria are you using to define Famke Janssen as A-list? The X-Men movies? Her best performance remains Goldeneye.

December 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter3rtful

Where is Meryl's? She looked hawt

December 5, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBimboy

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