RuPaul's Drag Race S9E5 - Kardashi-lame
Saturday, April 22, 2017 at 3:00PM 
by Chris Feil
This season of RuPaul’s Drag Race has a celebrity problem.
I had complained about the show taking attention away from the queens and making the show all about famous faces at the beginning of the season. However, this episode was the most egregious offender for being starstruck by celebrities who weren’t even there! The main challenge was a mini-musical on the Kardashian family, an overlong performance that spread our time with the girls much too thin. But let’s not jump ahead for the sake of complaining!
We actually did get what has been missing from the season so far: a mini-challenge and the Pit Crew! The gals got into quick drag for a swimsuit selfie with the boys (including new Crew members Jared and Yadir), with the girls being shockingly tame. Alexis took a much needed win, but I’d have given the Instagram like to gorgeous goofball Valentina for insisting Ru announce her as Miss Venezuela. Yes, my frost for her is thawing.
Alexis’s win means she gets to cast the roles, wisely giving herself Kris Jenner. Nina takes the biggest issue with her assignment, claiming some kind of sabotage. I’m Kardash-illiterate, so I won’t pretend to know how most of these roles provide an advantage or otherwise. (And no shade to Kardashifans, I’m someone who obsessively watched Rock of Love Bus, for God’s sake.) Nina’s complaining was not a cute look, an about-face to her humble sweetheart personality thus far.
Nina’s bitching/paranoia and Eureka’s knee injury from the cheerleading challenge took hold over what little episode narrative there was this week. I’m seeing black and white thunder flashbacks to Farrah’s episode 2 prophecy: there’s going to be a severe injury on this episode. Farrah, you are a mystic or a witch because it proved true. Even Charlie blamed her immobile lipsync last week on a broken rib - but to see Eureka charging through still determined to win on damn crutches, I call shade bullshit, Charlie.
RuPaul’s Best Group Therapy Race - Eureka took a humble step back and apologized to last week’s rudeness when discussing Sasha’s past with eating disorders. Valentina and Shea spoke up with their own struggles, dipping a toe in discussing body standards among gay men, demands that even this show can perpetuate.
In the main challenge, it’s easy to suss out the strong and weak performances even if you’re not well versed in Kardashia. Theatre queen Alexis is a spot-on charmer, while Shea steals the spotlight and smashes it as Blac Chyna. Cynthia arguably has the most eyes on her playing Kim, and flubs about every line. Eureka gives good face as she stands firm center stage - poor girl had to wear flats!
The Runway Does Still Matter - ... but not in the way you think. Alexis destroyed her chances at winning this week with an underwhelming look, proving that the new rules of the runway are that they can hurt you more than they can help you (see also: Farrah landing on the bottom for a meh challenge performance and an adorable runway). It's interesting that Alexis did well this episode, but didn't necessarily impress. Shea once again has the best runway look, which should officially be called The Shea Couleé Award for Best Runway at this point.
No More Drama - Nina’s cool-as-hell Mary J. Blige-inflected look deceives the complete lack of chill she had this episode. For all her grousing, Alexis gave her a great part that suited her well and she turned it out. And if Nina thinks that someone would play dirty to get threats out of the competition, there’s a few out in front of her at this point that would make better targets. Get it together, Nina, we want to root for you.
In the lipsync, Farrah Moan is right in sync with the energy of the song while Cynthia sheds her fur duvet cover dress and flails a bit. Ru, never one to shy away from drama, exits the soundstage, only to return to call Eureka to the stage. In a mea culpa to her knee, Ru sends Eureka home on doctor’s orders with a promised spot on next season. Cynthia should be very grateful.
While her quality has gone down as she became a more grating personality, Eureka went out on top this week. She redeemed some of her childishness while performing well and giving a polished runway. I’d expect her to be a major threat next season in ways that Cynthia has proven not to be.
Untucked is becoming such an essential piece of Drag Race for letting us know the queens in the way the show is failing to do, so be sure to watch this week's genius episode! The queens show some grace and tough love to Nina, Cynthia inters a dead chair, and Alexis out-extras Nina to blame the other girls for her underwhelming look. Farrah may be this season's crybaby, but her heart is quite endearing this week between her hilarious hystrionics.
Current Ranking:
- Shea Couleé
- 🔺Sasha Velour
- 🔻Nina Bo'nina Brown (but the attitude has got to change)
- Trinity Taylor
- Valentina
- 🔺Alexis Michelle
- 🔻Eureka O'Hara OUT
- 🔻Peppermint (not sure I understand the love for her Britney)
- Farrah Moan
- 🔺Aja
- 🔻Cynthia Lee Fontaine
- Charlie Hides OUT
- Jaymes Mansfield OUT
- Kimora Blac OUT
Gif As Episode Grade:
Don’t expect the the celebrity obsession to chill next week, though for better reasons: we’ve got Snatch Game and a rematch with Madonna on the runway. Nathaniel will be covering for me, so the queens better be prepared with more than a kimono this time. What did you think of the episode? And what would you like to see for Snatch Game and the Madonna runway?
Reader Comments (14)
Really confused by your fascination with Sasha Velour. Other than that eating disorder talk she's done nothing this season to stand out one way or another. She was pretty invisible yet again and somehow climbed a spot (or maybe it was just Nina falling a spot). I like her, I think she's got the chops to make it to the top 3 but so far nothing about her stands out. Except maybe her shaved head out of drag.
I enjoyed the episode. Challenge was fun enough, the queens had fun and while not blown away it's not the snooze that season 7 already was by this point.
I feel almost bad for Cynthia. The Kim role was HARD. I think most of the queens would've flubbed it, and she in particular was a strangely off pick (she knew it herself obviously). She tried but it was a Titanic destined to sink from the beginning. Still think by the quality of their work one of the bottom 2 this week leaves next week anyways.
Steve_Man - yes it was mostly Nina falling a spot (she'd have fallen harder if I didn't love her runway or wasn't as fun in the actual performance). Sasha was a non-factor in the challenge, but where she stands out is always on the runway. For example, this week she had a really inventive and witty take for faux fur while most queens took as literal/wearable fashion. I get her relative lack of screentime, but I don't understand everyone's reticence to her. She's cool as hell
Sasha Velour is easily my favorite this season—she's not particularly funny, but she's clearly brilliant and original. She might not make the best reality TV but she's the most interesting artist in the competition.
I can't wait to hear more from her as the crowd thins.
I love Shea, Valentina, Sasha, Peppermint, Trinity, and Nina but I hope the winner isn't so obvious like AS2 and season 8. I think Shea will stumble badly next week since she is doing Naomi Campbell and I think Peppermint will do well.
By all accounts, Nina has been like this the whole season according to many of the queens but they are just now including it in her edit.
-Chris. It's not reticence! Haha It's jut...not encouragement. I also haven't been a fan of any of her outfits (I literally can't remember a single one). The show hasn't given her a lot of screentime yet which could be a factor, it's more what I said. I'm surprised she ranks #2 for you since if it wasn't for her shaved head I still probably wouldn't know who they were. It's still all about Shea and Valentina for me.
If it wasn't for Shea killing it as Blac Chyna, I could see an argument for putting Peppermint, Sasha, and Trinity on top for how well they executed the opening scene. Their Britney/Lohan/Paris work was the funniest part of the challenge. Peppermint keeps winding up on top because she has star power that's not translating to TV. She's magnetic in person.
Nina was only on the bottom for arguing with Toddrick. Her Khloe was the best of the Kardashian brood, sans Eureka who found a lot to do as North West. Alexis did a great job in the challenge, but that runway was almost Cynthia Lee Fontaine in red shorts and white gym socks bad. I didn't even notice Peppermint's ugly pink skirt (separate from last week's ugly pink dress) at first because of how bad that Dance Moms lyrical blue dress was.
Speaking of Cynthia, those red panties were just as hilariously bad as her roller girl look last season. They didn't even cover what I'm assuming is her gaff (that random strip of black fabric that kept popping out--keeps the tuck in place) even before she started to dance in the lip sync. Farrah destroyed her while looking like a deer in the headlights. They're both lucky Eureka was removed for medical reasons cause that looked like a double elimination.
If everyone does a fucking kimono next week, I will scream. I would love for someone to do a Breathless Mahoney look for Madonna week; off the top of my head, I can see Sasha Velour killing it and Farrah doing it adequately if she has the right gown and make-up.
Like the Pulse convo, the eating disorder segment is why this show is so important to the babygays (Helen Lovejoy: think of the children!). Eating disorders and body dysmorphia can be really prevalent in the gay community. My weight yo-yo'd a lot last year and the same people who poked my belly would later call me Mary Kate Olsen. YOU JUST CAN'T WIN SOMETIMES!
The episode itself didn't bother me (not like last week, which felt badly edited), but the concept of it. I mean, season seven did a JOHN WATERS musical. And now they're doing a Kardashian musical? I know Ru is a fan, but this feels like a symptom of VH1. It wasn't even funny? No satire at all. I've seen harder celebrity jabs in a weak Snatch Game. It was literally just about how great the Kardashians are and how the're taking over the world. For a show whose creators and subjects have been vocal about having meant so much for bringing queer culture to a wider audience, this felt like a sigh-worthy step backwards.
The right person went home though. They act like there is literally a week between each challenge, but there isn't. What was Eureka going to do?
Sorry, but WHY is Valentina listed "only" on position 5? She is the frontrunner with Shea for the Win since weeks. Sasha and Nina are next to them and Aja is way over Farrah Moan, escpecially since the last 2 episode, which she should be in the buttom two.
Sorry, but i felt that Farrah and Cynthia should be Double Eliminated after that Lipsynch or/and Eureeka for health problems, so that easily should charlie hides could come back and slayed next weeks Snatch Game.
I'm looking forward to next week's Snatch Game where we get to see how much quick wit some of these queens have. I imagine that Alexis, Sasha, and Peppermint might really shine for the first time. I would guess that Farrah and Aja will have trouble (and possibly Trinity and Nina).
I pray they get this Madonna runway right. Please let there be a true fan or two in the mix. I died when Raja came out at last year's finale as Blonde Ambition Madonna--that's why she's one of my fave queens. As for the looks I'd love to see, I was going over my mental Madge rolodex, and so many of her iconic looks are interpretations of other people's iconic looks: Marilyn Material Girl, Marlene Dietrich tux, Marie Antoinette MTV awards Vogue, etc. She's such a canny consumer and re-interpreter of culture, so those may be cheating. For true Madonna looks: her Desperately Seeking Susan look--that's the go-to for a true stan, I want some queen to have spent hours beading that jacket (Valentina, please, get on that!!). Maybe the Erotica or Human Nature looks? That polka dot ruffle look from concert Holiday performances? Her Super Bowl look for the younguns? How has Madonna not guest judged?
I really hope this season picks up once they thin the herd a bit, because right now...yeesh. I wholeheartedly agree that untucked is absolutely essential this season to have any sense of the queens.
Shea is killing it. She's not a Bianca yet (i.e. there's still competition) but she is incredibly likable, good in challenges, and inventive on the runway. Her pep talk to Nina in Untucked was great.
Peppermint is my favorite talking head, but I think she has not been so great on the runway.
I am amazed by how much Eureka was able to go from 'total pill' to 'admirable' in one episode. I know there is editing, but her going in Untucked from getting defensive in ep 1 when someone said she talked over people a lot to saying "I know I talk over people and I'm working on it" in this ep, plus her actually having an issue with her knee injury and crutches and not complaining (contrasted with Nina's complaining about not being Blac Chyna) made me respect her so much. While it's an edit, if that stuff wasn't there they couldn't include it. I went from thinking "when will she leave" to "excited to see her on the next season" in a single ep.
Its pretty clear that Shea, Nina and Valentina r the top3 so far.
This episode was kind of meh, but this happens almost everytime when the girls r not allowed to write their own stuff.
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