Cinema de Gym: 'Bandits'

Kurt here from Your Movie Buddy. In my attempt to tone up and shed a few (as I feared, the life of a writer can be waistline-hazardous), I've found new inspiration. The gym I attend has a theater in the back where, instead of watching The View with headphones, you can do your cardio in the dark with a daily film that plays on a loop. It's surely not the place to go if you're looking to catch up on your Bergman or Powell & Pressburger, but, by god, at least it's something. Even with a trainer who kicks my ass and drafts a new routine each month, I'll take all the incentives I can get.

On that note, I've opted to use this extra motivator as a writing opportunity – a chance to chime in on the gym's staff picks and voice the opinions that brew while I'm huffing it on the elliptical. Fitness and film writing – it's my kind of win-win.

For the inaugural "Cinema de Gym" post, we have Barry Levinson's Bandits, a 2001 love-triangle crime comedy I'd never seen. In this setting, catching things for the first time is fun in that I'm forced to draw as much as I can from a 20-30 minute snippet (okay, sometimes it's 15). Besides, I dare say a lot of these flicks are not of the must-see-it-from-end-to-end sort. With Bandits, I entered during a barroom scene where a red-headed Cate Blanchett is consoling the bar's only other patron, a characteristically un-dashing Billy Bob Thornton, who's suffering from some fatiguing ailment. Rather than whiskey, Cate wants to get some warm milk for this milquetoast, who, it turns out, is lactose intolerant.

Bandits: Bruce, Billy Bob and Blanchett

Enter Bruce Willis, all smirks and hubris, who breaks up the excessive appropriateness of Grover Washington Jr.'s "Just the Two of Us" playing on the soundtrack (err, in the bar). From the interactions (and, hell, from the casting), it's clear Bruce is the leader of the Bruce-Billy Bob criminal duo, and that Cate is the third wheel whose affections they're fighting over. Cate and Billy Bob hit the dance floor, a brotherly brawl ensues, and Bruce and Billy Bob crash through a glass window onto the ground outside. "I can't do this anymore," a desperate Cate says, peering down at them. "Together, you're the perfect man."

Well, to each her own, Ms. Blanchett. 

Garity squares off with JonesCut to: January Jones? The soon-to-be X-villain plays some type of accomplice to our lead quarrelers, along with Troy Garity, Soldier's Girl star and son of Jane Fonda. The crew is gearing up for their One Last Job, which, naturally, still attracts Cate for some reluctant involvement.

Where the film goes from here is, well, to its end, and I'll spare you the spoilers even though I don't recommend. Let's just say there's a haphazard bank heist, but Dog Day Afternoon this is not.

Conclusions?

1. Seeing early Blanchett is fun.
2. Billy Bob really needs to get back to work.
3. Bruce Willis has never tired of playing Bruce Willis (shocker).
4. Barry Levinson is a hugely recognizable name, but hardly one that guarantees quality.
5. You've seen Bandits before, even if, you know, you haven't seen it before.

Have you seen it before?