BFCA Live Blog

8:55 Keith Urban announces that he is "not afraid to cry." Good thing because he's married to Nicole Kidman! Not to imply that she's difficult but she can access the heavy soul-shattering stuff.

8:57 Oh hi! Live Blog. Why am I doing this? Does anyone watch this? Refresh your screens!

8:58 Jeff Bridges is doing his Rooster Cogburn voice for the press guy? Does he feel like a performing seal?

9:04 Arnold Schwarzenegger emerges to open the show. Noooo... I was about to predict that Ahnuld would say "I'm back" or "I'll be back" or some lame Terminator pun that we'd enjoy as a guilty pleasure but no. He's being sincere. [gasp]. That's no adjective with which to open a show.

9:06 Ahnuld...

"I invented not speaking English correctly"

Okay that was funny. Albeit subtle funny which is always a tough sell during awards show.

9:07 Quick show of hands. Who believes that Ahnuld saw Black Swan three times in the theater as he claims?

poll by twiigs.com

9:10 THE FIGHTER wins Best Ensemble. I'm glad they let Jack McGee accept. He was really special in the background, don't you think? He made you believe that he could handle and was even happily married to Melissa Leo's Crazy! That's an achievement in authentic masochism. Go McGee.

9:17 Hailee Steinfeld wins Best Young Actor/Actress. Chloe Moretz is undoubtedly pissed. Hailee thanks "everyone in here. And the Lord." I always think it's funny when celebrities thank God when they beat other celebrities to prizes. If God is that guy cares about who wins movie awards than... ohmygod. I AM GOD!

MORE AFTER THE JUMP including made for tv movie titles, blonde Emma, Natalie skinny/pregnant and armpit licking.

Click to read more ...

Best Achievement in Messing With Josh Brolin's Face

Brolin as himself. Brolin as Jonah Hex. Brolin as Tom Chaney.

The Academy's makeup artist and hairstylist branch has announced their finalist list. Three films from their list of seven will likely go on to become Oscar nominees.

The Finalists

• Alice in Wonderland
• Barney's Version
• The Fighter
• Jonah Hex
• True Grit
• The Way Back
• The Wolfman
  

The makeup branch is among the hardest to predict each year because there never seems to be any rhyme or reason to their selections despite all of these rules. For example: How the hell did Black Swan miss? Never mind, I don't want to know. The answer would undoubtedly be depressing like "but those removable body parts in Alice in Wonderland that they wore to make Helena Bonham-Carter not feel bad about her CGI enlarged head were hilarious!". This branch also rarely remembers the "wigs and hairpieces" part of the equation always failing to honor the oeuvre of Nicolas Cage. They always ignore achievements wherein an actress becomes a total glamour goddesses with extra help from wigs and makeup. I mean they didn't even nominate Cate Blanchett wig-orgy Elizabeth: Turn Off The Dark (2007) sorry Joe, I'm using that podcast joke forever.

Nor, do they nominate "deglam" movies for actresses which definitely require the services of makeup artists and hairstylists. I still think the makeup on Monster (2003) is one of the great Oscar snubs of all time; Charlize didn't blotch her own skin or have dental surgery.

The official criteria for the "makeup" award is...

...any change in the appearance of a performer’s face, hair, or body created by the application of cosmetics, three-dimensional materials, prosthetic appliances, or wigs and hairpieces, applied directly to the performer’s face or body.

In other words, everything that Black Swan did (minus maybe the wigs).