Joaquin Phoenix @ 50: An Alternative Oscar History

by Cláudio Alves

Joaquin Phoenix's last great performance was in C'MON C'MON.

Do you have your own dream Oscar ballots lying around? I've been doing them for ages, probably since first finding The Film Experience and becoming entranced by Nathaniel's Film Bitch Awards. In recent years, the mountains of notebooks finally came to be formally digitized, starting with the long process of creating Letterboxd lists out of every Oscar eligibility rulebook, going back to 1927. This way, I was able to make a massive Excel spreadsheet with ballots for every year, following AMPAS guidelines. Oh well, much ado about nothing. The only reason I'm bringing this up is to contextualize the bizarre birthday post in store for today, when Joaquin Phoenix celebrates his mid-century mark. 

As the Todd Haynes fiasco and the disappointing Joker diptych have made Joaquin Phoenix something of a sore subject, let's go back to happier times and better movies. Indeed, let me present an alternative Oscar history. The thespian remains a winner but under very different circumstances…

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A Goop-y Top Ten

by Cláudio Alves

Gwyneth Paltrow in "The Politician" | © Netflix

"I wish you well," whispered Gwyneth Paltrow to Terry Sanderson, who had just lost his suit against the star. That passive-aggressive bit of politeness was a masterful coup de grace, the cherry on top of a gossip sundae that set social media atwitter. Though the year isn't half over, Paltrow already seems like one of 2023 defining personalities, at least as far as celebrity fodder is concerned. From bone broth-based scorn to tabloid queen, Paltrow's image couldn't be more malleable, nor the internet more obsessed with her. And yet, all this furor can inspire sadness in those who admire the Oscar-winnning nepo baby as an actress rather than just as a media sensation.

In the past decade, Gwyneth Paltrow has been consciously uncoupling from the movie business, the GOOP empire taking over all other concerns. Regardless of how problematic her company's actions might be, there's a yearning for the days when we could discuss Paltrow's performances rather than the explosive qualities of her vagina-scented candles. With that in mind, and since coming up with that Angela Bassett top ten was so fun, here's a list of favorite Gwyneth Paltrow performances. May it be a reminder of what a smashing thespian she can be…

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