Stupid News of the Decade: Chloe Moretz as "Carrie"

Sigh.

Breaking news: Chloe Moretz has accepted the lead role in the remake of Carrie. The news broke. It broke all the goodness in the world.

Not that a remake of Carrie wasn't a uniquely terrible idea all on its own without a hand from Chloe! The original is bloody perfect and Sissy Spacek's fragile overwhelmed and finally furiously catatonic performance is unimproveable. Frankly it's the stupidest casting I've heard since that time decades ago when Nicolas Cage was going to play Superman. This is like asking George Clooney to play an ugly unsophisticated charmless schlub virgin or asking Tilda Swinton to be uninteresting. Some things are just impossible.

No matter what one thinks of Chloe as an actress there is this fact: she exudes confidence. She's like a teflon teen. Not one atom in her body seems fragile or confused or meek. Yes, yes, she's an actress and you can play things other than yourself. But. But. Everything about her persona / aura / being reads wrong for this. She'd be more convincing remaking Aliens as Ripley or remaking No Country for Old Men as Anton Chigurh. Or maybe The Silence of the Lambs as both Clarice and Hannibal. This is what happens when Hollywood bases their casting on "who's hot" and does it without imagination.

Executive: "Hey, we've seen her bloodsplattered (Let Me In) and killing (Kick Ass) already. She can do that. ZOMG she's perfect for it!!!"

Kimberly Peirce is directing. She started off strong with Boys Don't Cry (1999). Her second feature Stop Loss (2008) had its moments but barely caused a blip. This third outing can't end well. And I don't mean for the kids at the prom.

I'm trying to be nice but JA gave this the most apt funny headline... "Chloe Moretz Burns in Hell"

Just Say Link

The Guardian Jane Fonda will be playing Nancy Reagan for Lee Daniels' as yet untitled feature about a White House butler. That's the one he'll follow The Paperboy with.
Towleroad first official look at Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean (though we have already seen pap shots) in Les Misérables.
Movie|Line can you guess what the most rented DVD of 2011?
AMC Film Critic Thelma Adams on what mothers and daughters can learn from The Hunger Games

IFC Fix Actor Toby Kebbell on the troubled adaptation of Akira. He was up for the Tetsuo role but he didn't like what they were doing with the project. I admire his honesty/fandom but I don't like that he's even up for the role. Asian actors please... it's not like Asian American actors don't exist.
Movie|Line can you guess what the most rented DVD of 2011?
AMC Film Critic Thelma Adams on what mothers and daughters can learn from The Hunger Games
In Contention Woody Harrelson's mirror characters in The Hunger Games and Game Change
Rope of Silicon a look at Michael Shannon as a ruthless killer in The Iceman.
After Elton remembers the gayest moments in Mad Men history.
EW five ways to fix Smash which has been renewed for a second season (yay!)

for fun...
Gizmodo Great Simpsons humor. The apps on Mr. Burns' iPad.
world of wonder Atheist Barbie. Hee.

Divas, Heroes, Sexpots, Villains

I've been neglecting the Film Bitch Awards for far too long so here is another page to enjoy ~ the character prizes in our four fun character categories: Diva, Hero, Sexpot and Villain of the Year. I should note that many of 2011's most memorable protagonists didn't fit neatly into these slots: a lot of 'heroes' were actually anti-heroes like "Date Rape Brown" in Rampart, the driver in Drive or "Mavis Gary" in Young Adult; there were potential divas who missed the point and didn't even want to be worshipped or even looked at like "Lisbeth Salander"... but she sure is a memorable character anyway. 

It's amazing how many movies can't hit the mark on delivering memorable heroes or villains. You don't even need to be especially complex in those categories but you have to be memorable... and what's memorable about the characters in that movie about the ringed intergalactic police corp or the one about the boy and his dog searching for a pirate ship and even the one about the ragtag group getting back together to defeat a maniacally laughing tycoon which hands so much of its screen time to a self-doubting newbie.

In short there wasn't a lot to applaud or boo-hiss at. So a big big thank you to our nominees who livened up this past film year with highly watchable fabulousity, heroics, eroticism and evildoing.

Who will thrill us this much in the new film year? There's a lot to live up to collected right here from films like Melancholia, We Need To Talk About Kevin, Crazy Stupid Love, Captain America, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Bridesmaids and more. Who gets your vote?

Curio: Happy Birthday Quentin

Alexa here. Today Quentin Tarantino turns 49; somehow I thought he was older, if only because he has been in our consciousness for so long. It feels like forever ago that we heard Mr. Brown give his thesis on "Like a Virgin." His Madonna connection got some further milage this week with word that Madge wants him to direct the video for her new single "Gang Bang." ("All he has to do is show up with a camera.") Considering that he lent Gaga his Pussy Wagon, it just might happen.  

Here are a few creations celebrating the prince of palaver.

Quentin's bloody ear, by Gregg Gordon of Gigart.Tribute posters by Ibraheem Youssef

Click for more posters including Django Unchained. Plus: Vincent and Jules as mice...

Click to read more ...

Mad Men at the Movies: Gillian Hills and 'Zou Bisou Bisou'

It's been so long since the best series on television was airing (17 months!) that this new version of The Film Experience has never seen an episode of "Mad Men at the Movies". Last night the miserable sexy funny smart complex men and women of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce returned to take us all back to the sixties once again. In this series we document the show's love affair with the cinema. Don Draper (Jon Hamm) is a movie buff and references tend to be sprinkled in for vintage flavor, character detailing and thematic resonance. Unfortunately this two hour premiere had no movie references. Damn!

5.1 "A Little Kiss, Part 1"
5.2 "A Little Kiss, Part 2"
The episode opened oddly with none of the familiar characters and a confrontation between African American picketers and immature men at an ad agency (not SCDP). By the time the episode ended, a small plot detail in the middle brought it all full circle with the unfamiliar site of the SCDP lobby filled with black applicants applying for jobs.Between the sobering bookends we were treated to a very strong premiere full of humor and potential for the season ahead. The talking point beyond the closing scene was surely the "zou bisou bisou" scene where Don's new wife Megan sang to him seductively in front of all his friends at a surprise birthday party. But the single most brilliant scene involved Joan (the great Christina Hendricks) bringing her baby to the office for a visit. We're talking perfect character farce  The choreography of the scene was so brilliant they should teach it film school... er television school... since it practically defines what this particular medium can do. Very little of what was going on emotionally and inside the character's head was actually spoken but if you've been following all the characters for years all their child-rearing issues and past romances and conflicts just made the scene hilarious and nimbly so. Perfection. A

Megan performing "Zou Bisou Bisou". 

Slate has the translated lyrics and some theories about why this song.

The hit song was originally sung by Gillian Hills who was also an actress. In 1966, the year this new season takes place, Gillian was on screens as "The Brunette" in Michelangelo Antonioni's classic Blow-Up (highly recommended) which is about a fashion photographer who believes he's accidentally photographed a murder. Blow-Up wasn't the only classic to feature her. She also has a role in A Clockwork Orange. 

Jane Birkin and Gillian Hills in BLOW UP (1966)

Mad Links
Flavorwire a pop culture guide to 1966 when the season takes place
AMC Janie Bryant on the costume designs for Season 5
Technabob Mad Men as an 8 bit game
IndieWire beginnings: each season's opening scene
Pajiba 10 of January Jones' bitch faces to celebrate the show's return 
NPR Eleanor Clift remembers what it was like to be in secretarial shoes as a typist in the 60s