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« 30 Seconds to Summer - THE SEQUEL | Main | Podcast: Now With Three Dream Layers »

30 Seconds to Summer (Superbowl Leftovers) Pt. 1

As I was confessing on Twitter yesterday, I have literally never watched the Superbowl. Not once. The only football bits I've ever seen were in high school (I hung with the band geeks but was a choirboy), comic strips (Lucy is so mean!), in movies, and in Friday Night Lights. L-O-V-E that show. It returns in April for its final season. *sniffle*

Since movie studios bleed gazillion$ worth of their future profit$ to air 30 seconds of their potential blockbusters I $hould $hare them. It's like a hydra-headed episode of Yes, No, Maybe So. I'm listing them in the order I was curious about them BEFORE I saw the spots. Things may have changed.

superhero teases and more after the jump


Cowboys & Aliens

Before the spot: Yes. After the spot: Maybe So.

Hypothetically mixing genres can be fun in a  "wha the fu----woooo!. Hahaha." popcorn-muching type of way. Plus Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford bring doubled star mojo. But then, watching this it just looks Randoms & Messies and like it's maybe a sequel to WILD WILD WEST. Star mojo couldn't save that one in 1999 and nobody begged for a sequel.

The Adjustment Bureau

Before the spot: Yes. After the spot: My heart says Yes. My brain says No.

When news of this movie arrived I kept mixing it up with Hereafter and couldn't figure how sturdy/grounding Matt Damon was suddenly the go-to guy for skewed reality/supernatural. Even with four stars that appeal on their own (Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Terence Stamp, John Slattery) this trailer doesn't "play", does it? Maybe it was delayed for reason? Also Emily Blunt has the misfortune to be playing a ballerina directly on the heels of Kunis, Ryder & Portman and that's a lot to live up to. On the bright side, Philip K Dick original source short story material is hard to sum up in 30 seconds. On the dark side again, it's also probably not easy to expand into a feature film without losing some of its unique verve.

Captain America: The First Avenger


Before the spot: Reluctant Yes. After the spot: Same...
although is watching Chris Evans go from skinny to super buff the best bit? If so you already blew your wad.

I can't say I think it's going to be "good" but I like the idea of a period-specific spin on a genre that's getting increasingly samey-samey. Anything to mix it up. Plus, costumes by Anna B. Sheppard who they always run to when they need WWII looks. It's a lucrative niche. She was SO robbed of an Oscar nomination for Inglourious Basterds. (I gave her the Bronze last year)

Thor: The 17th Avenger


Before the spot: I Woulda Said Yes, If You'd Only Cast Alexander Skarsgard
After the spot: Oh, I See. Steroids You Desired and Skar's Muscles Be Too Lean.

Why must Natalie Portman keep doing f/x movies (that aren't directed by Darren Aronofsky)? She's Natalie Boredman in them. Why does the rock that Excalibur Mjöllnir is stuck in look like it's made of styrofoam? This cost $200 million and you used a styrofoam rock?

Caveat: If this is a Bad Movie on Steroids I will totally change my answer to HellzYes. If it's only regular lousy and Chris Hemsworth is the only thing on steroids, then no thanks. 

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Before the spot: For the love of Depp's legacy, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo.
After the spot: *crying*

Johnny Depp was once the most creative male actor in the world. Why did he throw it away? When Sly Stallone made a third and fourth and fifth Rocky and yet another Rambo, you could forgive on the grounds of "work with what ya got." But Depp? What a waste of a once-in-a-generation gift. What a tragic waste. He's already made me regret being such a vocal champion  "BEST ACTOR FOR JOHNNY DEPP" the first time around. Also, if you're going to dump Orlando Bloom, dump him (I loved Bloom in these movies personally --a grounding old hollywood swashbuckling presence). Don't replace him with another young pretty boy.

I understand not one thing about this movie including making it as a cash grab. How on earth could Johnny Depp need more money? 

P.S. There's only a part 2 if you comment on part 1. Don't make me type into the void.


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Reader Comments (32)

I feel like replacing the line at the beginning of Pirates spot with "There should be an actor in there somewhere" would perfectly describe Johnny Depp for me currently. Between his complete alliance to Tim Burton and Pirates movies it really is kinda sad.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJames

What about "Super 8"???

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChris

I'm not sure what you mean by "sequel to Wild Wild West." I mean, it's called Cowboys & Aliens...of course there's going to be futuristic technology clashing with period America. Plus, Olivia Wilde!

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobert Hamer

Thor looks so much worse than I imagined. Question: So if one of these Avengers movies tanks does the whole thing go down, like a string of Christmas lights?

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichael C

I LOVED the Captain America ever did they make Chris Evans a scrawny guy at the beginning???

I want to love Cowboys and Aliens, but don't we already know the outcome ie the aliens will lose???

The Super 8 trailer was also good.

Re: Pirates of The Caribbean the Unnecessary..I mean on stranger tides...just no

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerence

The Super 8 trailer was my (and it seems like everyone in the internet) favorite from last night. Though I also perked up for Cowboy & Aliens (Serenity but with aliens!) and Battle: Los Angeles (Michael Bay directs District 9 sequel!).

For those Avenger films, I've been so up and down with them. When they were first announced, I was excited for CA but not so much Thor. When we saw first trailers/pictures, my excitement dulled for CA and oddly ramped up for Thor. But after these ads, I'm sort of on the fence for both. Damn you Joss Whedon, the only reason why I remotely care is because of you.

And you're so right about Johnny Depp. Shame. Also how refreshing to see something positive said about Orlando Bloom on a film blog. Need more of that.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRyan T.

James -- right? It's not just one problem. It's a multitude of Depp problems.

Michael -- are you only as strong as your weakest link or do franchises survive even when one of their stores fail?

Robert -- well... in that it just looked as stupid/incoherent. and it was really weird to see "from the director or Iron Man" and then see Daniel Craig do that thing with his weaponized arm. Ugh. Franchises within Franchises within Franchises. Movies have fallen down the rabbit hole.

February 7, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

I really hope Branagh uses the money he got for Thor to make a great Checkov adaptation. I mean, this looks like Clash of the Titans!

Is my brain too lazy or do action/adventure movie trailers seem all the same? Fighting, kicking, a monster, something big created by a computer. That's what I see everytime. I suppose there ae different ways to do all those things and different contexts to put them in, but the trailers feel identical in their logic. I guess many viewers are left wowed by these sots. I'm a snob, I know..

The Adjustment Bureau seems close to an OK movie but not quite.

By the way, has anyone seen van Sunt's Restless trailer? It looks promising if a bit arthouse-y conventional but the release date has been changed to "whenever". Hmmm.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJames T

Commenting to get part 2. No, really, I don't think I liked any of those... And I'm finally getting sick of Natalie Portman. Thought this day would never come.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpiper

Chekhov, that is. :p

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJames T

Well, I'm willing to give The Adjustment Bureau a chance - it strikes me as the kind of movie that doesn't necessarily give good trailer - particularly if they're just stringing together the most action-y bits. There could easily be a very good film in there, or a very bad one, or anything in the middle.

Captain America - I'll go see this if Captain Britain gets his own movie, and then they build it up into a parallell Avengers-style franchise with Captain South Korea, Captain Nepal and Captain Vatican City.

Thor always struck me as a weird project which would be walking the knife-edge of borrowed gods-and-monsters mythology and superhero action film. Looks like they fell right off. On the upside, the makers of the (please make it happen) Wonder Woman film might learn some lessons on how not to handle this stuff. Drew Barrymore, as I've decided you'll be directing, pay attention!

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaika

What if the new Pirates is actually better than the previous two, does that negate anything and bring us back to even with the franchise? Or has it been too long to even know what a good one would look like, and care?

Captain America looks a bit better than I expected, but Cowboys Vs Aliens always sounded, and now looks, really dumb. Why does Hollywood continue to purposely make flops? I mean if you went out to public area and started asking people, would you go and see a movie called Cowboys Vs Aliens they would probably answer honestly - which is 'No' I hope.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDino

SUPER 8 SUPER 8 SUPER 8!!!!!! Even Transformers 3 looks respectable. Man at this rate Johnny Depp will never win an Oscar. I dunno why but think Cowboys and Aliens will be the hugest cult hit of the year. Thor is so meh.
I had to see the Captain America trailer thrice to understand the thin-to-buff Chris Evans part. Those are the best/weirdest effects I have seen ever. Why don't Christian Bale and Renee Zellweger do that???

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNikhat

I stopped the Pirates trailer after the "there should be a Captain in there somewhere". That joke is 4 movies old! It isn't even a joke anymore, just an allusion to the first movie to get butts in seats. If the trailer is that derivative 15 seconds in, how bad will the movie be? Not that this is any surprise, I'm just complaining because I know my friends will drag me to see it, because I'm the "movie guy" and they'd take offense if I didn't. Sigh...

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdan s

i'm waiting for summer , that's gona be hot summer with great movies !! ;D

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjakarta

"So if one of these Avengers movies tanks does the whole thing go down, like a string of Christmas lights?"

One of the many reasons I can't imagine 'Avengers' will ever be made.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWill

My biggest fear regarding Cowboys and Aliens is how awful those CG spaceships will look in the hot western sun. The clip at night is a lot more convincing. And I am all for Harrison hamming it up in this movie. Let 'er rip, Ford.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwade

I don't get why people (at least on Twitter) are jizzing over the Transformers 3 trailer. It looked EXACTLY like the "Revenge of the Fallen" trailer to me, except with a blonde instead of a brunette.

LOVED the Super 8 trailer! Evoked old-school Spielberg. Can't wait to see it!

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBK

...Adjustment Bureau looks pretty bad, like both audiences and critics will avoid it, like a C average across the board. Sadly, it looked even worse in the longer trailer I saw a million times over the holidays. The leads feel awkwardly miscast - Matt Damon as romantic supernatural lead with that hat, pssh come on. I feel embarrassed for it.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDino

Dino- I don't think the hat is a fashion statement. It appears to be a disguise to throw the Fate Police (that's what i'm calling them) off his trail.

I enjoy both Damon and Blunt so I think I'll give this one the benefit of the doubt for now.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwade

When I first saw the "Cowboys & Aliens" trailer everyone in the theater started laughing when the title came up on the screen. It's too bad - the cast is great and Joss Whedon has already proven that it's possible to create a great scifi/western that doesn't take itself too seriously...

...and Laika, I agree that the Wonder Woman movie needs to happen already!

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

ok, so please don't slaughter me but i am dedicated POTC fan. i'm young and impressionable, sue me. we're all allowed to hold ONE crappy movie franchise near and dear, aren't we? besides, Pirates was actually my introduction to Depp (on my 11th birthday, in fact) so i haven't witnessed his trajectory in the same way. but the 1st of the franchise turned is what made me love him in the first place. moral of the story; i'll pay for a ticket. i don't even care. the others? not so much.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOlivia

Depp is becoming Nic Cage: a once fascinating actor now embroiled in and shackled by Big Hollywood's cornucopia of crap.

There, I said it (and believe me, I'm not happy about it).

Nathanliel : I have a group of friends who've always hated Depp, which is silly. I spent years defending's getting tougher.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrianZ

None of those trailers made me want to even see any of those movies. Really the only trailers that made me want to see the movie was Transformers and (unbelievably) Fast Five

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpops3284

Olivia -- i absolutely respect this!

if i had seen that movie first at 11 I would have loved Johnny Depp forever too. In fact, when i saw it I was already a huge Depp fan -- angry that Oscar had never paid him any mind -- and i was like "i cannot believe I'm watching his best performance ever and it's in a Pirate amusement park based movie and this movie is freaking hilarious and fun and rousing and i love everything I am so thrilled right now. It made my top ten list that year.

I just want them to stop the sequels were not good.

Brian Z -- i don't even bother defending him anymore on account of...

johnnydeppewerneherzogphone -- ... WHAT YOU SAID.

Johnny Depp is actually The Boyfriend's favorite actor and even he is rolling his eyes now when he sees him in movie trailers. That is not a good sign.

February 7, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Maybe so. Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford: Great. But it defenitly has a "Wild Wild West" vibe. And that's not good. And the effects are meh, judging from this spot.

Don't know it. Don't care. And Joe Johnston is not exactly a visionary director.

Maybe so. Looks entertaining, but also quite silly.

Really, really sad. This one is not even going to be entertaining.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBasti

I would check out Adjustment Bureau. My school had a pre-screening for it and it was surprisingly good. Not great but enjoyable. Damon and Blunt have good chemistry.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMovieman92

Honestly I didn't care to read the article, but just seeing that picture of Lucy and Charlie made me smile with big delight. I randomly quote one of Lucy's most common phrases from time to time, when she's acting as a judge (does she even say the same thing in English? I only know it dubbed in German): "Because of ipso facto" *lol*

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDominik

COWBOYS AND ALIENS: YES. Despite the fact that I'm not a big fan of the Iron Man films and I'm tired of Ford's growling, I think the concept is cool and the footage makes the film look as if it'll utilize the concept to its fully potential.

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU: YES. I like the concept and the trailer (not this particular TV spot, which I thought was cheesy). The only thing that would scare me off is Matt Damon, who I find a little boring. Then again, that's because I found the (first two) Bourne films sleep inducing and he was a big reason for that.

THOR & CAPTAIN AMERICA: YES but with reservations. Both have interesting concepts that separate them from other superhero films and both could potential be fun. However, both seem to have that generic/impersonal feel/look that Marvel films have had since 2005 (minus Spider-Man 3, which was a mess but at least felt like a Sam Raimi film). Also, it feels like these films were made just to get The Avengers going and not for any great love of the characters. I'm cautiously optimistic for these two as I am with most of Marvel's stuff now.

PIRATES 4: NO. Saw the first film near the end of its theatrical run and thought it was decent but overrated, didn't see the sequels until they hit DVD and though they were a little more interesting but completely convoluted and this one just looks boring. No thanks.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel Armour

I read the script for The Adjustment Bureau two summers ago and honestly loved it. Fantastic sci-fi concept married with an intriguing central romance. I have thus far been incredibly disappointed with the promotional materials, but am hoping that is a byproduct of trying to make it seem more action heavy rather than a reflection of its actual quality.

February 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrosengje

Cowboys versus Aliens thrills me. I know it's a risk. I know it could be a big mess. But I'm SO IN.

The Adjustment Bureau intrigues me. I've seen that preview like five times recently --- every movie I see has it. It stays intriguing. I'm a yes.

Captain America shows potential. I'm a maybe. Thor shows stupidity. I'm a no.

I haven't watched a Pirates of the C movie since #2.

February 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah Lipp
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