Entries in Pirates (11)
Hotel Chatter Regina King shows us the best revenge when you're dumped and your tv show is cancelled: look fabulous and happy
Antagony & Ecstasy reviews all Star Trek movies for you because Tim is generous and completist like that
IndieWire Kon-Tiki directors get the next high seas Pirates of the Caribbean gig. Typecasting!
Broadway World what's next for the stars of the now-departed Broadway tv series Smash?
Variety Johnny Depp leave the Whitey Bulger biopic Black Mass... no reasons have been given but I'm guess playing real humans is too scary for him!
Towleroad Joe Manganiello in the best shape of his life and filming Ten with childhood idol Arnold Schwarzenegger
Los Angeles Times Neil Patrick Harris to host the Emmys just a few months after hosting the Tonys. With him becoming a mainstay at both I guess he'll never get to host the Oscars.
i09 7 bad storytelling habits taught to us by comic books (most of them are very evident in today's franchise culture... even the ones without superheroes)
Today's Must Read
Self Styled Siren goes to the ATM, withdraws movie thoughts
Today's Must Watch
How it Should Have Ended take on Iron Man Three - really funny stuff. Gold stars to every moment in the Superman and Batman coffee break
Before you can ever delve deep into the nominated fields, you have do the requisite double takes to process the surprises. Herewith the most shocking turns of events this morning. If I haven't included something you found truly eyebrow-raising and faith-shaking ('how can I ever turst the pundits again?!') make sure to share it in the comments.
10 The Supporting Actor List is All Previous Winners
In the entire history of the Oscars, I can't recall any acting category having been composed entirely of men or women who already had Oscars. At least one newbie always manages to join the celebrated. Other than that it's not a surprising list really given that all five of the men had precursor support (typical) and two are leads masquerading as supporting (typical) and all are veterans (typical). This is the kindest category to acting veterans and the most impervious to actual excitement. Year in and year out, it's the dullest major Oscar category even when the field to choose from is brimming with electricity. And to think we could have had a rising star playing an android, a rising star singing and crying his heart out, a rising star shaking what his mama gave him while stoned in Mexico, an A list reaching a career peak with nothing but a G string and a great great performance, and a baker turned actor among the dozens of possibly more thrilling choices.
09 The Dark Knight Rises with Zero Nominations
It's a beautiful symmetry. Batman f***ed Oscar over by sending them into a tizzy of low-confidence voting rule changes after the infamous 2008 snub (presumably to include more populist choices in Best Picture) and now Oscar has f***ed Batman over by ignoring The Dark Knight Rises altogether -- this despite the series being very popular with voters since long before Chris Nolan took over.
Eight more increasingly startling morning alarms after the jump.
I've got those whirling clanking gear-spinning metallic vibration noises clogging my brain today. Thanks a lot Greg P. Russell! ;) The 14 time Oscar nominated mixer had another epic job to perform with Transformers Dark of the Moon and how. Will he finally win the Oscar? Stay tuned.
Yes, readers I did see the latest Michael Bay spectacle. After that shot of glossy violent shot of testosterone I watched Far From Heaven and The Lady Eve back to back as schizophrenic counter-balance. What did you see this weekend?
Weekend Box-Office (Estimates)
figures via box office mojo
01 TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON new $47.1 (cum. $261)
02 HORRIBLE BOSSES new $28.3
03 ZOOKEEPER new $20
04 CARS 2 $15.2 (cum. $148.8)
05 BAD TEACHER $8.9 (cum. $78.6)
Nation Somehow Failed To Predict Attack By Michael Bay
06 LARRY CROWNE $5.9 (cum. $26.1)
07 SUPER 8 $4.8 [thoughts] (cum. $118)
08 MONTE CARLO $3.8 (cum. $16.1)
09 GREEN LANTERN $3.1 [review] (cum. $109.7)
09 MR POPPER'S PENGUINS $3.1 (cum. $58)
Talking Points: Transformers is now the top US hit of 2011, outgrossing The Hangover Part 2 and Pirates of the Caribbean Part Another One. Worldwide grosses paint a different surprising picture of the film year with Pirates way out front of everything having grossed a billion dollars and Fast Five the second biggest hit of the year with over half a billion. I did not know this. Everyone loves action movies starring cars I guess. But regardless of how you count beans it's a sequel world out there. It's shocking when anything original breaks through.
Meanwhile Bridesmaids and Midnight in Paris, which had both been hanging on to the top ten despite being two months old (the box office equivalent of senior citizens) finally slipped out. Even though they're losing theaters each week they still have tinier percentile drops than any other pictures indicating that word of mouth continues to draw in the curious... or maybe repeat visitors?
This week I asked the contributing Film Experience team how they felt about Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and I also wanted to gauge whether we had any Little Monsters in our midst via Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" droppings.
You refused to see Pirates 4. What would ever bring you back to this franchise?
Michael: It's hard to imagine what could bring me back to the franchise at this point, (I feel like I only just got done sitting through At World's End) but a a 90 minute running time would be a step in the right direction.
Andreas: If Disney ever wants me to shell out for another Pirates movie, they'll have to go down a really surprising route, like selling it as "Andrei Rublev on the high seas." Or maybe they could introduce interesting characters! Some outrageous twist like that. What if they solved all their problems by just making Pirates 5 into Dead Man 2? They could bring in Jim Jarmusch to guest-direct, and use William Blake quotes for all of Jack Sparrow's dialogue!
Craig: Can they get all the sequels over with in one go and amalgamate the whole lot: The Hungover Kung-Fu Transformers of the Caribbean in the City of the Deathly Hallows Parts 2, 3 & 4 will be showing near you THIS SUMMER! Either that or they just cast the muppets instead of Depp, Cruz and company. I could easily do with another Muppets Treasure Island, thanks.
You saw Pirates 4. What did you think of the Mermaids?
Jose: The mermaids were truly preposterous! Where were their nice sea shell bras and their fuzzy crab and fish friends?
Although on the bright side, if it hadn't been for Syrena, we wouldn't have had a chance to see Sam Claflin shirtless. Is it only me or should Pé have played the queen of the mermaids instead of being stuck with that crappy character?
Kurt: It's such a shrug of a movie. That said, I liked the mermaids -- collectively, they were one of the film's very few inspired elements. The mermaid attack was the first action sequence I actually paid attention to. The depiction is neither totally accurate nor blasphemous. Just a new interpretation. And thank god for it.
What if Lady Gaga's "Borth This Way" was a movie?
Who should ride her cyborg self?
Andreas: I imagine Born This Way: The Movie as a cross between The Terminator, Showgirls, and Un Chien Andalou, but with extra preachiness thrown in. To be honest, I've always wanted Gaga to branch out into large-scale filmmaking just on the basis of the "Bad Romance" music video, so if she made exactly that, I'd be perfectly happy. The weirder, the better.
Jose: It would be a freaking Heavy Metal like extravaganza. Only two passengers should ever ride Gaga: Hedwig (from the Angry Inch)...
the Governator himself. Can you imagine those two in an action movie together?
Though you didn't ask who are they chasing/is chasing thembut I'll answer. There is only one being who can do that: Madonna. She needs to find the one camp movie role to make her a cinema icon.
Craig: The Gaga videos to date, all strung together, are like a kind of movie anyway, aren't they? But if Born This Way were a movie it would be directed by Alan Smithee. Burn (rubber), baby, burn! Edward Furlong would clearly have to ride on Gaga's mutant-motorcycle. And Gaga herself would have to talk in a weird robo-Austrian-motor dialect. Doesn't she already do that in some of her songs anyway? It's part of her charm.
Kurt: If Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" were a movie, it would, of course be Labyrinth 2, and on the back of Gaga's cyborg motorcycle would ride David Bowie's Jareth, clad in his signature wig and junk-hugging leggings. Together, Gaga and Jareth would rule over their combined armies of little monsters, and anyone who spoke against their doubly strong maze of fabulousness would be swiftly tossed into the Bog of Eternal Stench.
- Who would you pay to see riding on Gaga's mutant-cycle?
- Do you prefer your mermaids carnivorous or sweet and tuneful?
No new movies dared challenge the fourth adventure of Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow so it easily outpaced older films and took home most of the gold. But given that the series has been an overperformer and that even cheating with those stupidly inflated 3D ticket prices, it was well underneath the grosses of the second and third outings. In even better news, Bridesmaids avoided the typical 50% second week drop, just as we predicted dipping less than 20%. That signals a long and lucrative run, powered by word of mouth, provided it can hold on to screens. That's always the trick in the summer.
The Box Office (Actuals)
01 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES new $90.1 [review]
02 BRIDESMAIDS $20.8 (cumulative $59.3)
03 THOR $15.4 (cumulative $145.3) [review]
04 FAST FIVE $10.5 (cumulative $186.1)
05 PRIEST $4.7 (cumulative $23.8)
06 RIO $4.6 (cumulative $131.6)
07 JUMPING THE BROOM $3.7 (cumulative $31.3)
08 SOMETHING BORROWED $3.5 (cumulative $31.5)
09 WATER FOR ELEPHANTS $2.1 (cumulative $52.4) [review]
10 TYLER PERRY MADEA'S BIG HAPPY FAMILY $.9 (cumulative $51.7)
What About Woody?
Despite being on only 6 screens, Woody Allen's MIDNIGHT IN PARIS took in a huge half a million. It would have easily hit the top ten had it opened wider. Half a million on half a dozen screens is a big deal for a Woody Allen film opening that small, his best ever actually, even topping the relatively robust tiny opening for Match Point (2005). Was it Rachel McAdams and Owen Wilson? Was it the warm Cannes buzz? We've long believed that if more films opened while the media was talking about them it might help generate audience interest. But year after year auteur films lose all the momentum of their festival bows while they wait it out for six months-two years-never for a theatrical window.
What did you see this weekend? My weekend was an absurd bust. [Pity Party Alert!] I went to a birthday party out of town an entire day early and then, depressed at my costly flub, I went to the movies and was somehow two dollars short for a ticket and had forgotten my bank card. I sincerely hope your weekend was not as pathetic.
Blockbuster franchises are not unlike waves in the ocean. That's true even for the ones that don't take place on the high seas. The marketing rhythmically churns them up and up until they break oh-so-formidably on opening weekend and then they're just foam. Which is to say that Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides evaporates instantly after you watch it, leaving you with precious little to remember it by that you didn't already remember from The Curse of the Black Pearl back in 2003.
I saw Pirates 4 only a week ago. The only things I remember are as follows...
(I'd say it's better than the other sequels but that doesn't mean I can help out its dismal rotten tomatoes score and call it "fresh". And it's quite possible that I have blocked out all memories of the 2nd and 3rd movies for self preservation purposes. Oh Johnny...)