Film Bitch Awards: Yellow Coats, Breathy Vocals, and Facial Reconstruction, Oh My!

by Nathaniel R

In an alternate reality somewhere I am a punctual cinephile, delivering his own personal awards with metronomic precision, one category per day for a month before the Oscar nominations or at least between the nominations and the big night. But we are in this reality and there are never enough hours in the day and always last minute screenings to shove in to try to see everything that people are talking about. While you'll have to wait to see my personal acting ballots until after the Oscar aftermath fades (as I'm still writing up star turns and need to have a clear head) but the rest of the 'traditional' i.e. Oscar parallel categories of my own awards are now up for your viewing / thinking / comparing-to-your-own-faves pleasure. I know it's Oscar day but I thought I'd throw this up if you're tired of talking predictions but are still hopped up with movie fever...

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Oscar Volleys: “Wicked” is the one to beat in Best Costume Design

The Oscar Volleys are back for some post-nomination talks. Tonight, Cláudio Alves and Nick Taylor discuss Best Costume Design...

WICKED | © Universal Pictures

CLÁUDIO: Let me repeat an exercise of Oscar volleys past and dream up an outfit that combines the year's Best Costume Design nominees - Melissa McCarthy and Brian Tyree Henry style. You can picture me in ecclesiastical garb like the blasphemous queen I am, adorned with Denzel Washington's bling from Gladiator II. Over my shoulders, there's Count Orlok's furry robe - after a thorough dry cleaning - and Bob Dylan's stylish 60s shades hide my eyes from mere mortals. And then, I'll pull up those Catholic skirts and reveal the Fiyero boots because Jonathan Bailey can't have all the fun. He's free to try to come and get them back. Please do, Johnny!

What about you, dear Nick? What's your outfit like?

NICK: That’s a ravishing question. We start with Elphaba’s iconic black hat. Sewn into Tazewell’s architectural embellishments would be various prizes from my victories in the gladiator ring like arrowheads and human bones, or maybe the gold-leaf crown would be the rim of the hat. We gotta wear one of Joan Baez’s floral-patterned dresses - the deep blue number might be fun, and I bet she was wearing some really comfy shoes. For Conclave, keep it simple and classy with Sister Agnes’ cross, maybe have some robes in the back in case it’s cold.  I’m struggling what to do for Nosferatu, because I also want Orlok’s coat, and because so many of Ellen’s outfits don’t really make sense on top of what I’ve already selected. Maybe I’ll weave her sad lilies into my hair? The vibe is very “Pagan Sarah Carpenter”, but I’m for it…

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Split Decision: “Nosferatu”

Split Decision returns to TFE. In this series two of our writers face off on a movie one loves and the other doesn't. - Editor

NICK TAYLOR: Alright gayboy. Enough sucking dicks we gotta suck some BLOOD!

CLÁUDIO ALVES: Why not both? Eggers' Orlok switched from neck to tiddies, so we might as well take things further south. Let's suck dick and blood at the same time, get really kinky with it. Sure, this new Nosferatu is more carnal than its previous iterations, but its sexual neurosis is fittingly contained within a historical context and its particular hang-ups. Queerness is only suggested in sublimated terms. A bit like Bram Stoker's original work and Murnau's copyright-evading spin on it. Though this bat man's origins are rooted in the imaginations of queer men, that dimension seldom comes to the surface, remaining subtext at best. I guess it's appropriate, then, for this latest film to be discussed by two members of the alphabet mafia, such as ourselves...

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Oscar Volleys: The Eye Candy Trifecta

Taking a break from the so-called “above the line” races, Nathaniel R and Cláudio Alves discuss the eye candy Oscar categories – Best Costume Design, Best Cinematography, and Best Production Design...

DUNE: PART TWO | © Warner Bros.

NATHANIEL: Hi, Cláudio. So this year, for time reasons, the pre-nomination Oscar Volleys are not covering every category and I'm feeling guilty about it. In the 21st century all 20+ Oscar categories have arguably more devout fanbases than ever thanks to the ease of catering to niche interests that the internet, streaming, and social media have all brought.  Yet the 'Below the Line' categories are somehow incongruously more disrespected than ever. Consider that the Oscars are now the ONLY major awards show (that's not an exaggeration) that doesn't pretend that craftsmen and artisans are less crucial to making art than actors and directors. Consider that time and again we get these horrid articles from the media about how to fix the Oscars that invariably suggest that they should be more like their less popular counterparts (Tonys, Grammys, Emmys, Globes, etcetera) and ditch the "crafts" or have them on another night altogether without the fanfare. This suggestion has made me redhot with anger from the very first time I heard it and the anger has never dissipated…

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April Foolish Predictions: Eye Candy and Music

by Nathaniel R

The Dietzes are back in "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice" and so is costume design goddess Collen Atwood. Photo © Parisa Taghizadeh for Warner Bros

Our April Foolish tradition continues with the visual and sound categories. For this installment we're just picking highlights from our crystal ball. Read on...

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