"Yes, No, Maybe So" Triple: Apes, Immortals, Wizards
Friday, April 29, 2011 at 1:10PM Yes No Maybe So is a series in which we divvy movie trailers up into three categories so as to manage our expectations and combat Huzz (Hype + Buzz). Huzz isn't a real word but it should be and we'll keep using it until it is. The point of the series is this: We will not be slaves to the Masters of Marketing! Except, of course, by giving them the usual free publicity that they have craftily convinced all citizens of the online world to regular deliver unto them.
The problem, we've noticed with trailers, is that they all tend to arrive at once and how does one keep up unless one merely just posts the trailer which is basically like posting a free advertisement and pretending that advertising IS content which so many websites do is just yuck. That's not a yes, no or maybe so equation. That's just a full on No, yo.
ANYWAY... today we're doing a short form genre threesome: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2, Rise of the Apes and The Immortals in an effort to catch up. If you haven't seen the trailers they're all after the jump, along with listy yes, no, maybe so bullet points. You know you wanna keep reading so do it.
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PT. 2
yes
- "We can end this." YES. BY ALL MEANS, END THIS. It's been ubiquitous for ten years ferjkssake.
- the music box sounds at the beginning are a nice touch.
- that statue with an axe that lands on the floor during "on this night". Cool.
- that split second of the battle everyone is waiting for: Julie Walters vs. Helena Bonham-Carter. "not my daughter, you bitch"
- More screen time for Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham-Carter and Alan Rickman. Sorely needed!
- they shoved most of the expositional boring stuff from the final book into that paint drying Pt 1 so this will have to be exciting based on the process of elimination...
no
- on the other hand if you've seen one CGI wand battle you've seen them all.
- even though all the boring stuff was in part 1, they'll find a way to drag out the exposition. God forbid any single page of Rowlings 3407 pages should go unfillmed.
- exactly how many times is Voldemort going to yell without words in the film. He yells I think 6 times in these 2 minutes alone. Overkill! Or should we say Over Avada Kedavra!
- that JW vs HBC battle. CALM DOWN. You know it's going to last all of 2 seconds.
- that old age epilogue that was so very annoying in the book. My 100% accurate prophecy: it will be more annoying onscreen. Especially if they put 21 year olds in old age makeup.
maybe so
- If you haven't made up your mind about this series by now...
RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
"This sci-fi breakthrough will help me follow in my father's footsteps and crush Spider-Man... I mean Man-like Apes."
yes
- If you're going to revive a franchise, do it in a new and fresh way. They've never tried to give this an origin story per se.
- James Franco. Still a yes even if he's on a slight Post-Oscar Night Probationary period.
- Andy Serkis. The go-to guy for motion capture performances. It's a niche but he sure does great work within it's technological confines.
no
- "the drug has radically boosted brain functioning." "You mean increased intelligence?" D'oh. Is the dialogue going to be that cringey and hand-holding throughout. Stupid humans!
- It doesn't look like James Franco will be kissing any apes, or that the apes will be talking and without the camp factor or the interspecies Thespian moments, why bother?
- Freida Pinto. This looks like the exact same part Blake Lively plays in Green Lantern. There's nothing for this character to do but look concerned, speak responsibility themes and prove that the hero isn't gay. Who's hot right now? Let's cast her!
maybe so
- on the other hand, this line and the double take head spinning reaction it against iin the trailer could possibly still mean that they found room for camp.
This drug allow the brain to repair itself. We call it... The Cure.
- Rupert Wyatt is a fairly new director. They can surprise you. Ya never know.
THE IMMORTALS
all the best weapons come encased in stone. Just ask Thor or King Arthur.
yes
- Tarsem Singh (The Cell, The Fall) can deliver a visual spectacle with the best of the them.
- Eiko Ishioka (costumes: Bram Stoker's Dracula) can deliver a visual spectacle with the best of the them.
- Henry Cavill mostly naked can deliver a visual spectacle with the best of them.
- Frieda Pinto in red can deliver a visual spectacle with the best of them.
no
- "To those who much is given, much is asked"... OMG did they just greenscreen Freida Pinto in from her Rise of the Planet of the Apes performance? Same Character Alert!
- All the 'we want you think this is a "300" sequel is a huge turnoff as Tarsem Singh has never made a movie that bad.
- someone on my twitter feed said it looked like a perfume ad. And well...
- "FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT" -- that's actual dialogue!" don't people ever get tired of That One Scene where the hero gets frothy at the mouth and hoarse of throat while rallying the bloodlust?
maybe so
- I was an early champion of Mickey Rourke's comeback (thought he deserved awards attention for Sin City) but I'm not sure about the tone of the acting here. Feels way too modern. Looking at his nails after a kill? Really?
- how much studio interference was there with Tarsem's visions. He seems like the kind of uncommercial director that they'd mess with. In which case is this one of those rare times when someone needs a studio to fine tune their outre impulses or someone is merely drained of their genius with too many pushy external voices weighin in.
So I'm... Deathly Hallows: No (but i'll see it for completion), Apes: Maybe So (wait for reviews), and Immortals: Yes (but completely conflicted about it and I won't be surprised if it's terrible.)
YOUR TURN.
Sound off in the comments. Are you a yes, no or maybe so? or do you reject categorization this time out?
Reader Comments (24)
I'm totally in the bag for Harry Potter so I'm a definite yes. Rise of the Apes looks dreadful, and James Franco has worked too long to develop a sense of ironic detachment to sell me on all this ape science gobbedly gook.
I only want to see the Apes movie -- so that's a yes from me.
Apes: Maybe so. The scars of Tim Burton's version still burn...
Harry Potter: Yes, but mostly because I've seen them all up until this point, so I might as well finish it.
Immortals: Yes, because Tarsem has yet to disappoint me, though I am wary of it. Will it be too dumbed-down?
I laughed so unbearably hard at the number of times that Voldemort yelled "YEEEEAAAAAAA!!!" in the Deathly Hallows Part 2 trailer...the first time I chuckled, but then the subsequent 8 times they used it in the trailer, I was just: "Really?! AGAIN?!?!"
I am a yes on Deadly Hollows, Apes and Immortals. Otherwise, how can I bitch about the awfulness that is waiting for us if I don't see them?
I'm a yes for all 3 but I'm kind of really excited for Immortals. I mean that cast (gah) and the visuals remind me of old Caravaggio paintings...
Definitely Yes for Potter. Liked the series and DH1 a lot.
Maybe So for Apes. I'll definitely see it but it only looks okay at best.
No for Immortals. Looks like a bad 300 clone.
I’m just a Harry Potter books fan. So, even when the studio doesn’t release any trailers, just give me the date I’m gonna watch it. Always yes.
The best thing about the Apes’ trailer is last scene when the ape looks so pensive. It’s that look when Nina Sayers feels so weird in club next to Sebastian Stan.
Immortal looks good visually, but like you said, is there really a story in it beside "FIGHT FIGHT and GET NAKED WITH EACH OTHER” ?
I'm a yes on Harry Potter. I've seen every film in theaters (and read every one of the books) and unlike you, Nat, I actually loved Part 1 of the Deathly Hallows and really appreciated the slower pace that the split allowed. It gave the characters and the plot some breathing room, which was much appreciated after two films where they tried to cram everything in under 2:30 hours (or maybe just that). I can't wait to see this film! As for the other two, I'll wait for reviews. I find the concept for Planet of the Apes interesting, but I'm not sure how this will work, and honestly, Immortals doesn't look that good to me. We'll see.
Harry Potter: AHH YES.
The other two are Maybes.
I never followed HARRY POTTER movies so no!
PLANET OF APES look nothingand i'm not interesting by what i see but i guess i 'll see it because it's a big movie
and a HUGE NO for IMMORTALS: that looks alike "300 meeting CLASH OF TITANs" ,the CGI look so-so and the acting awful
I sometimes forget I'm allowed to not want to see a Harry Potter movie. In any case, I still do. Want to see it, that is.
I just... I don't know. I wish something like a Best Supporting Actor nod (Fiennes, Rickman or even Grint) were in store, but we all know that that's asking too much. More so of the franchise than the Academy.
Three "yeses" ("yesi" ?) .... I think I'm a movie slut.
The Immortals trailer is very discouraging. Singh's previous film (The Fall) was so colourful and vibrant and beautiful to look at. This one on the other hand looks drab and lifeless and like every other Hollywood action film of the past five years. I've had enough with brown and orange and blue as the predominant colors in films.
"Planet of the Apes" looks like it'll be either one of the worst movies of the year or a deliciously silly movie that's a lot of fun.
"The Immortals" looks like it'll be either one of the worst movies of the year or a masterpiece of imagination and visual excellence.
"Harry Potter 8" looks like "Harry Potter 8".
I gave up on Harry Potter many movies ago -- No.
Planet of the Apes -- I have strong No feelings, but the trailer gave me a sense of possibility -- Maybe.
The Immortals -- It will be pretty. It will be Pagan. Yes.
i'm so out of the loop on all things harry potter my only reaction was "julie walters is in it?"
(that's still not enough to warrant my attention)
apes - i didn't realise until you said it: if franco's not getting it on with a monkey i'm just not interested
immortals - i think downloading stills of henry cavill will be keeping me too busy to leave the house
It’s okay with me with Harry Potter not being nominated for Best Picture next year. But for me I think Alan Rickman should get nominated for his delicious portrayal as Severus Snape all these years.
Yes to all three. Good heavens. So excited for this summer.
Rise Of The Apes: Yes.
The Immortals: No.
Harry Potter: NYEEEEAAAAHHHH!
Deathly Hallows: Yes. I don't care how many times Ralph Fiennes yells nonsense during it (although I did watch the trailer again and laugh at it).
Rise of the Apes: If it gets really good reviews or word of mouth, maybe. If not, no.
Immortals: Maybe. As others have said, Tarsem's style is so vibrant and colorful, and this just feels so drab. Oh look, shades of gold and brown. *snore*
I can't even get interested enough in HP8 or Apes to click on the trailers. I'm sure they'll be unavoidable soon enough.
I love Tarsem's first two movies, but Immortals worries me.
Yes definitely on Harry Potter! I'm such a HP nerd, it's probably quite sad.
Maybe on Apes....
Maybe on Immortals...
I loved the visual brilliance of both The Fall and The Cell and Tarsem has yet to take a wrong turn but some of those super dramatic moments in the trailer have me worried. Also echo your concern about studio interference. He spent years making The Fall on his own terms and look how it turned out after The Cell divided critics and was only a modest success despite still staying true to his form. I just feel like execs think he can't be trusted with big money or something. Either way, I'll definitely be seeing Immortals on the big screen.
Harry Potter - probably will; Planet of the Apes '11 - NO.