Wanna know something funny? I had totally forgotten who won the Golden Globes last year. I mean, I thought "I'll illustrate this prediction post with a win from last year!" and then I thought. But who? Now I know mainstream media likes to joke that people forget who won the Oscar in which year almost instantaneously but I don't find this to be true of Oscar geeks. I never forget ... though an occassional nomination will surprise me by vanishing from my memory banks only to serve as humble pie later when a quiz or trivia situation crops up (Nick Nolte in Warrior? I curse you!)
So here is a photographic reminder of last year's winners in case you also forgot...
Now back to the present tense.
Disclaimer: I am completely terrible at predicting the Golden Globes -- if you challenge me you will undoubtedly trounce me! -- but I absolutely love The Hollywood Foreign Press Association for this willful refusal to tow the line. Oh sure they sometimes will gladly use their televised moments to predict the Oscars or influence the Emmys but you never know when they might just go their own way for the helluva it ... which is why they're better than many of the more "serious" voting bodies (i.e., and quite sadly, most critics groups who seem hellbent on predicting Oscar 100% of the time though their mission statements should tell you'd they do otherwise)
100% accurate predictions after the jump...
I PREDICT THAT...
- ...I will get drunk
- ... I will be upset that I wasn't there; just bought my first tux! (Yes, I'm going to the CCMAs)
- ...you will follow me on twitter.
- ... that it will be great fun discovering which celebrity will inspire the best memes on twitter. I mean who knew it was going to be grumpy Tommy Lee Jones last year, you know?
- ... that Jose will freak out about whatever Cate Blanchett is wearing
- ...that the internet will freak about whatever Jennifer Lawrence is anything
- ...the best actress musical or comedy presentation will not be as funny as last year's "get out of heeeere" madness
- ...but that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will more than make up for it with another night of hilarity
- ...we will not see anything as singularly crazy as Jodie Foster's Cecil B DeMille speech
- ...but we will spend the whole night hoping for it anyway
Less accurate predictions now...
THE WINNERS WILL BE...
- Best Picture Drama 12 Years a Slave (spoiler: Gravity)
- Best Picture Comedy or Musical American Hustle (spoiler: Burlesque... oh, wait. Nope, it's gonna be American Hustle. Easiest pick of the night)
- Best Director Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity (spoiler: McQueen 12 Years)
- Best Actress Drama Cate Blanchett (spoiler: Emma Thompson)
- Best Actor Drama Matthew McConaughey (spoiler: i can't see it)
- Best Actress Comedy or Musical Amy Adams, American Hustle (spoiler: i can't see it)
- Best Actor Comedy or Musical Leonardo DiCaprio, Wolf of Wall Street (spoiler: The safe bet is Bruce Dern for Nebraska but I'm guessing Leo just because there's usually one big surprise at the Globes)
- Best Supporting Actress Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
- Best Supporting Actor Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club (spoiler: i can't see it)
- Best Foreign Film Blue is the Warmest Color
- Best Animated Feature Frozen
- Best Screenplay American Hustle (spoiler: 12 Years a Slave or Nebraska)
- Best Original Score Gravity (spoiler: 12 Years a Slave)
- Best Original Song Frozen (spoiler: Inside Llewyn Davis)
- TV Drama Breaking Bad (spoiler: The Good Wife)
- TV Comedy Girls (spoiler: Modern Family)
- Best Actress Drama TV Kerry Washington... for whatever reason this is the TV prediction I'm most confident about but if not let's say Tatiana Maslany because they like fresh blood
- Best Actor Drama TV Bryan Cranston (spoiler: Kevin Spacey)
- Best Actress Comedy TV Julia Louis Dreyfus (spoiler: Amy Poehler)
- Best Actor Comedy TV Jim Parsons (spoiler: anyone)
- Best Miniseries or Movie Behind the Candelabra (spoiler: Top of the Lake)
- Best Actress in a Miniseries/Movie TV Jessica Lange (spoiler: Helena Bonham Carter)
- Best Actor in Miniseries/Movie TV Michael Douglas (spoiler: Idris Elba)
- Best Supporting Actress, TV Sofia Vergara (spoiler: Hayden Panettiere)
- Best Supporting Actor, TV Aaron Paul (spoiler: Josh Charles)
Any predictions? Which possible "surprise" do you think is most likely tonight?