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« FYC: Allison Janney in "I,Tonya" | Main | "ACS: The Assassination of Gianni Versace", Episode 2 »
Friday
Jan262018

Brand new Picture / Director / Screenplay charts!

by Nathaniel R

If you smooshed all the Best Picture nominees together this year you'd get an interspecies queer romance set during World War II with a provocative sense of humor and some very uncomfortable racial politics. Somehow there would also be a subplot about a mother and a daughter who are constantly bickering over maybe how to handle their newspaper or fashion empire. The movie is 115 minutes long and is rated R for graphic violence, constant profanity, masturbation scenes, and implicit interspecies sexuality. 

We have never seen a movie like this but what a movie it would be!

Over at the Oscar charts you can now read trivia on Best Picture and Best Director and Best Screenplay and see serious and silly rankings of the whole set like "ranked by horniness" and "ranked by running time" and more. We also theorize on how the directors in particular secured their coveted nominations. Plus you can now vote (DAILY!) on who should win each of these four prizes. So have a look, share with your friends, return often, and comment to make this season more communal and festive!

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Reader Comments (26)

Are there not going to be Film Bitch Awards this year?

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAlexD

Peter Weir was nominated for directing a high school-related movie (Dead Poets Society). I'm not sure how you define high school-related movie, but there are elements there in Moonlight, Boyhood and Ordinary People, too.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

I love that you use Gerwig's photo from 20th Century Women , I can just pretend she was nominated last year too for her incredible performance.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRami

Why is The Post 'asexual' ... Come through Meryl in a caftan!

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRami

Nat

I think it's time to bitch about some lack of love for·edgier" stuff like Good Time and A Quiet Passion. If anything, Terence Davies is the "Monet" of cinema. I think he's gay, too. The Academy never took notice(?) the way it did with another Master Impressionistic like Ivory. What a shame.

As for the Safdies, they're the humanistic Coens. Or, perhaps more accurate, the inheritors of Michael Mann. Too young and new to be recognized? Good Time also landed at Cannes, so no fault on exposure.

I like your "movie".Thank God is not set on the corridors of Darkest Hour:))

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterchofer

Also, I've noticed Greta Gerwig's approach to filmmaking it's totally "punk"

I mean, like the eary releases of Wire or Sleater-Kinney, minus the brashness of the genre: tigh, short, compact, cut-cut-cut-cut, NO FAT.

I will totally get behing her when she shows some LOVE for filming "boredom" and "stillness" to their characters and locations. Which means she will graduate to "art-punk". You know, the occasional 4'+ ballad or white noise I found in Hot Rocks or Chairs Missing, repectively.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterchofer

Is LADY BIRD one of the shortest Best Picture nominees ever? Only 93 min!

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDAVID

Very worried that McDonagh missing in Director means they'll just give him Original Screenplay instead of Get Out or Lady Bird, which really only had that going for them.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNick T

If James Ivory wins, would he become the oldest Oscar winner ever?

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAndy

DAVID

You worldn't believe GRAVITY had only 90'!! "I could watch (Sandy) your performance 'til the end of time! And I think like I did! -Cate Blanchett.

LOL.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterchofer

My reasons for wanting Frances to lose are so petty. Hoping BAFTA disrupts her sweep for Ronan. I mean she did acknowledge she's not in the hunt for a second one when the work of her younger competitors rightfully deserve more than just bridesmaid status at her coronation.

Nick Davis has to designate her as Best Actress Pet. Neither Hunter nor Thompson could return with precursor support. I keep track of the 90s best actresses because of Bates. This her she has a good shot at securing supporting actress nod three and her fourth overall. And were she to win it Nathaniel will have to include her on his list of most recognized actresses for Oscar.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commenter/3rtful

If Bafta disrupts Frances's sweep it'll be for Hawkins not Ronan.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterZo

I am rooting for a director and picture split between Lady Bird and Get Out

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTheBoyFromBrazil

Zo - for some reason I still fear Robbie although that fear is looking less well founded. I think McDormand has this in the bag.

/3rtful -- i would have no problem doing so. People are being very weird about there Three Billboards hatred and letting it rub off on how they feel about the actors themselves. FACT: Frances McDormand is one of our greatest actresses. Everyone agreed about this before they got mad at Three Billboards now it's all "ugh, we've seen it all before from her!"

Andy -- i believe so but i'm finding it hard to verify that info. The oldest winner of all time within the 5 marquee categories is 82 (Christopher Plummer) but i dont know about below the line categories. Finding it hard to get a list of the oldest in those other categories because sometimes the nominees are very old... like John Williams nominated again and turns 86 next week and Patricia Norris, who was nominated for costume design for 12 Years a Slave was in her 80s at the time (she died a couple of years ago) but i'm sure there are other examples of people in their 80s nominated in craft categories.

January 26, 2018 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

AlexD -- there will be. but these past few months have been very difficult offline and though I was getting ready to start them last week I realized it wasn't the right time because I didn't want to double them with the oscar nominations. Sensory overload. So we'll probably start midway through next week.

January 26, 2018 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

I believe Agnes Varda is about a week older than James Ivory, so if she wins, she'll be the oldest winner.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAmir

Your best picture combination would also be nominated for best actress. The role is a 43-year-old, mute angry woman fighting with her mother, ex-husband, and rivals while trying to keep her media empire afloat.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTom

TRIVIA:

This is the first year since 1990 that there are THREE lone Screenplay nominees in either screenplay category. In 1990, it was in Original Screenplay. I'm not sure it's ever happened in Adapted before!

I also wonder if there is another year when only one Best Picture nominee got an Adapted Screenplay nomination? That has to be extremely rare.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan

I'm aware you've been having some rough times offline. Thanks for replying! I'm happy to hear they're still on, one of my favorite traditions of your site. :)

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAlexD

Chastain didn’t get a SAG nom, she only got a Globe nod. Judi Dench got both.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRoger

Jonathan - Last time there was only one BP nominee in Best Adapted was in 2006, when the nominees were The Departed, Borat, Children of Men, Little Children, and Notes on a Scandal. It also happened a few times in the late 90s (too lazy to look back further). Of course that was back when there were only five BP nominees.

January 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMJS

Does CMBYN not pass the Bechdel Test when Elio's mom asks Chiara to invite Marzia to dinner after the boys head off to Bergamo? (There's also that scene with the bickering couple at lunch and the woman comes for Elio's mom saying, "You've changed so much since you inherited this place." But alas, she's not named.)

Either way, it would just barely be a pass so I'm not too pressed about it.

January 27, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDylan C

Call Me By Your Name DOES pass the Bechdel test! Annella and Mafalda talk about smoothies/dinner. Marzia and Mafalda day hi to each other.

Source: I’ve seen it four times and now Spirit Awards gave me a screener link.

January 27, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRoger

6 of the 9 best picture nominees are from writer-directors. Is this close to being a record?

On similar ground, all five best director nominees wrote (or co-wrote) their film. Is that a record?

I am going to look it up a little now, but very curious.

January 28, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterkin

2009 hits 7 out of 10 (except Hurt Locker, An Education, Precious) and then 2003 has LOTR, Lost in Translation, Master and Commander and Seabiscuit.

I stopped in the 2000s because it seems less and less frequent as I went back. so I assume the 5 for 5 in directors this year is a record?

January 28, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterkin

kin: I've gone back as far as 1956 and I haven't found another instance of it yet, and so you're right, it's super-rare and maybe even unprecedented!

January 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterEdward L.
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