Thoughts I had while staring at these "Django Unchained" character posters

Presented as they arrive without self-censorship (but for the first, redacted as the MPAA slapped me with an NC-17 for thinking it out loud...)

 

• Kerry for Breast Actress. 
• Every time I read any plot synopsis of this movie it says something like 'Django must rescue the beautiful Broomhilda Von Shaft from the evil clutches of Calvin Candie' all I can think of is how I can't wait to play the video game. These names! How many game levels until you're fighting Calvin Candie?
• Every time I look at Kerry Washington I feel guilt for having been a fan since Our Song -- god, what a find she was for the casting directors (well done y'all) -- and still not watching Scandal because I only allot so much time for TV and her beauty is pure big screen to me.
• More and Actress-Free thoughts after the jump

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Yes, No, Maybe So: "Django Unchained"

If Quentin Tarantino can make us wait an average of 2 years and ten months between each movie (I'm counting Kill Bill as one and assuming Django Unchained will arrive on schedule. But will it?) than you can all forgive me for not jumping on every piece of Tarantino news-- even the excitement of a trailer -- the minute it arrives. 

What's your name?"

His name is Django. The D is silent. Let's stay silent no more about the trailer ... or the teaser the teasler... the traiser? Aren't teasers support to be 1 minute long? We'll break this traiser into three pieces as we do.

YES

• Things that are off the chain: the shot of the blood sprayed cotton, the self-aware zoom-in on Leonardo DiCaprio casts gleefully against type, Django throwing off his coat, the shot reverse shot of Jamie Foxx and Kerry Washington in the water (dream sequence?). More after the jump...

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Red Carpet: Kerry Washington

Kerry Washington, Kerry Washington, Kerry Washington and Kerry Washington. Perhaps I should explain?

We haven't done a red carpet lineup in awhile and there were a ton of glitzy events this past week. The true marvel was that Kerry Washington went to all of them, from left to right: The Time 100 Gala (Friday, NYC), Washington Correspondents Dinner (Saturday, DC), Mary J Blige Honors Concert (Monday, NYC) and the Costume Gala at the Met (also Monday, NYC). Maybe we'll look at a few more dresses tomorrow -- the Met Gala is annual awesomesauce -- but tonight let us marvel at Kerry's stamina in stilettos. Is this, like, her full time job now?

Someone please hire her for a meaty role / major movie. FACT: In the afterlife all Hollywood power brokers who held great actresses back from the careers they were meant to have will answer for those sins.

Remember when Kerry had that blink and you'll miss her part as blind Alicia in Fantastic Four? Maybe she should have played Multiple Man Jamie Maddox in the X-Men movies instead? She goes to everything!* Note how in one single week she doesn't wear the same color or hairstyle once and even switches it up hourly if there are two events. Note that on Saturday she went to the Pre-Party in for the Washington Correspondents Dinner with loose curls and leopard print top (left with Rosario Dawson -- I couldn't find a full body shot for the lineup, damnit) and then -- moments later? -- she's working a tight braided bun with an Asian influenced gown.

Four red carpet wins in five nights = too much time on her hands. BACK TO WORK WITH HER HOLLYWOOD. Get on that. Force her to stay home a couple of nights, blistering her fingers with all the page turning from that stack of scripts you've just sent her.

What kind or role would you love to see Kerry tackle?

*Nathaniel promises that he does not stalk Kerry Washington. Unless stalking includes Google Alerts in which case... guilty!