Emmy Aftermath: The Repetitions, The Rules, The Fixes.

Well hear we are the day after the 66th Emmy Awards... or was it the 65th? or 62nd? or 60? It gets so hard to tell what with their refusal to spread the wealth. This number may not be 100% accurate but from my rough calculations anyone/anything who won Emmys last night had, on average, two previous statues.

No matter how great any one performance or show is, is it seems downright criminal to only honor that one thing. Think of how many people couldn't have Emmys for acting because of, say, Bryan Cranston's 5 statues for Walter White. I wish more voters would think of it that way. There's no argument among anybody who has watched it, even off and on like myself, that he didn't do great work but is his work 5 times greater than Jon Hamm's best work as Don Draper? 3 times greater than Michael C Hall's work as Dexter? And so on. He would have also prevented Kyle Chandler from that awesome tearjerking Friday Night Lights win had he been eligible that year. You just can't tell me his work is more valuable than all of those men combined and his Emmy run  blocked so many gifted actors from winning television's top honor. Same with Aaron Paul (3 statues) and Allison Janney (6 statues, 4 from one role). Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a slightly different case. She's a stellar performer (great in every series she's been in) but three statues is more than enough for the same performance especially when it means Amy Poehler's genius continues to go unrewarded. Yet at least Julia's 5 statues are distributed across 3 roles.

When you obsessively award one person over and over for the same performance you're really saying that nobody else in town is remotely of their calibre which is a depressing way to judge artistry, which is so subjective and has room for multiple conceptions of "Best". But perhaps the problem is in the voting process. (According to Gold Derby at least, voters rank the performances and whoever has the lowest score (i.e. you want first and second finishes, means that if you're everyone's second favorite you will probably win each and every year since the slightly more divisive series won't stand a chance. This could also explain why Modern Family just continues to hog Emmys though most critics think its glory days are long behind it. Maybe it's everyone's #2 and their number #1s are all over the place.)

"LESBIAN REQUEST DENIED" - Jodie & Laverne and several other OITNB nominees lost their categories.Though Emmy night wasn't at all interesting (I am reminded why I have never watched it religiously) the Emmy season was with all the controversies. For months there's been heated divisive arguments about Broadcast vs. Cable and whether they should be in direct competition. Official word is "we're not going to go there," that they'll never split up the categories. But couldn't some of the results in part have been about network TV actors finally rallying and saying 'enough with online and cable!'  HBO still led in actual wins  but it had very few televised wins so most of its triumphs were in the non-marquee categories. And Netflix, which has brought so much energy to the TV game, tanked. Orange is the New Black, easily one of the best and most-obsessed-over shows on TV, only managed two wins, neither of them televised. 

Herewith my proposal on how to fix the Emmys, to prevent all the controversial gaming of the system and the relentless repetition which does no service to an industry enjoying a lot of Golden Age goodwill. Every week on the internet you read about some new great achievement in television and everyone's top tens look different and people are just so excited with all that's on offer and every year at the Emmys the picture they present to the world is. 'We only make a few good shows. Sorry bout it.'

Proposed Rule Fixes

1. No category hopping. Once you've submitted one way, you can't pretend you've become something else.
2. Seriously consider best half hour series and best hour series instead of Drama vs. Comedy because nearly all the best work in any artform has both dramatic substance and a sense of humor. Orange is the New Black is hilarious but people kept being mad that it was placed in comedy because its drama is so effective. 
3. If your name is in the opening credits you MAY NOT submit as a "guest" -- this is supposedly the guideline right now but very few actors follow it if they think they have a better shot at "guest." If you are in every episode, even if you're not in the opening credits, you MAY NOT submit as a "guest."
4. Cap of three wins for any performance of the same role.
5. Strict rules on number of episodes you must produce to qualify as anything other than a miniseries. I personally think the rule should be 10. How are shows with only 7 episodes competing in series? 

 Emmy really needs to lock down some rules about anthology series. Are they miniseries like AMERICAN HORROR STORY or regular series like TRUE DETECTIVE. It shouldn't be either or.

What do you think would help fix the Emmys? 

P.S. Here are my personal awards for last night's show

Best Duo: Julia Louis-Dreyfus & Bryan Cranston
Best Sports: The Mad Men actors who will complete this historic series with none of them ever having won for their terrific complex creations. And yet they show every year and smile and even endure the jokes about it now.
Classier Than It Often Is: In Memoriam
Dependably Funny Person Who Was Amazingly Funny: Amy Poehler
Dependably Funny Person Who Was Not at all Funny: Sarah Silverman
Most Ubiquitous Color: Orange (skin) vs Red (dresses)
Most Awesome Loser Reaction: Julia Roberts

Most Depressing Loser Reaction: Cicely Tyson 
Best Dressed: Lizzy Caplan
Hottest Arm Candy: Julianna Marguiles husband. In perpetuity.
Most Annoying Emmy Obsession: Seriously why even have a Reality category if you consistently ignore the really creative ones (hello RuPaul's Drag Race) and just hand The Amazing Race the prize ever year. 10 wins! Ridiculous
Most Satisfying Win: None. The closest would be The Normal Heart which I liked (but didn't love)
Happy Realization: There is room for at least a smidgeon of movement in next year's Best Drama races since Breaking Bad will be gone from all categories.
Bitter Realization: That won't help the repetitive factor in Comedy since Modern Family is still with us and still winning... and not just in the top category.
New EGOTs: None. And people we thought might edge closer (Julia, Cicely & Matthew) did not.

Photo that perfectly sums up Emmy night via Lena Dunham & Instagram

 

5 Days 'til Emmys: Bunk Mates and Sex for Science

It's my blog and I'll play favorites if I want to. Though I'm rooting hardest for Mad Men on Emmy night (mostly because I think it needs all the goodwill it can get at this point) my actual two favorite shows of the 13/14 television season were Orange is the New Black and Masters of Sex, both competing in various categories, though not enough of them in the latter case, for their stellar debut seasons. So for this round of group question festivities, posed to friends of TFE and contributors, I have two questions regarding my two favorites.

Answer them yourself in the comments.

1. Which Orange is the New Black character would you most want to bunk with if you were so unfortunate as to land in that prison?

Matthew Rettenmund: Sophia Burset would be a great bunkmate. She could do my hair so it wouldn't look bald on top.

Jose Solis: Not a character, but Jodie Foster directed the best episode and I'd love to be *anywhere* with her.

 Mark Blankenship: Clearly, I need to bunk up with Poussey. I speak a little German, I enjoy books, and I'm very interested in building up a tolerance for homemade alcohol.

     more answers & sex studies after the jump

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9 Days 'til Emmy Awards: Spin Offs & Ideal Hosts

As we approach the Emmy Awards, a little questionnaire silliness. I polled Friends of TFE and the staff, too. 

1. Which character on which show would you kill to see get their own spinoff series?

Joe Reid: That American Horror Story's Myrtyle Snow never got to be a Project Runway judge is the real shame. But if we're talking whole-cloth spinoff, I really honestly think that Mad Men has stopped being able to give to Joan what Joan gives to the show. Watching her navigate the '70s would be amazing.

 Mark Blankenship: Can we please, PLEASE follow the further adventures of Lincoln (Hannibal Buress) from Broad City? Maybe he can open a free dental dental clinic, and every week, we can see his zany adventures with his patients and their jacked up teeth.

Nathaniel R: I'd follow anyone from Mad Men through the 1970s... and I do mean anyone but I want to focus on shows that are so rich that even the outer periphery characters are awesome so can I pitch shows for?: Nurse Jackie's slutty new drug dealer (Michael Esper); Dawn & Shirley (Teyonnah Paris & Sola Bamis), the new secretaries of Mad Men; that gay hooker from Masters of Sex (Finn Wittrock); Archer's cyborg lovers Katya & Barry

Anne Marie: Freddy from House of Cards gets his own show where he turns his hole-in-the-wall restaurant into a food empire by taking advantage of the shady political maneuvering he's overheard for the last decade.

Jose: Anyone from The Big Bang Theory...oh sorry, I stopped reading after you said "kill". 

Dancin' Dan: All I want for Christmas is "The Taystee and Poussey Make Fun Of White People Show".

How many binge-watching hours would you give that one?

2. Which reality host would you choose to host your real life?

Mark Blankenship: Tim Gunn. Obviously. Because he'd be proud of me if I put together a good look for brunch.

Anne Marie: Betty. Freaking. White.

Nathaniel R: Heidi Klum... but only if she invites me to her annual Halloween bash.

Joe Reid:  This is not a question. This does not need more than a half-second's worth of thought. Cat Deeley now. Cat Deeley tomorrow. Cat Deeley forever.

YOUR TURN... who would host your life and which minor or central characters would you gladly follow up into their own spinoff series?

16 Days Til Emmy: What We're Rooting For

Over the next two weeks we'll periodically be experiencing a little Emmy countdown silliness. But first a matter of who we're rooting for in just 16 days. I polled a few members of TFE's team and my podcast co-host Joe Reid from whom I've learned much about TV (he's an expert) and who still thinks I look down on TV through pinched cinematic nose. Okay, maybe a little... but it is not from lack of quality! It's from other reasons but it mostly boils down to these four: I prefer a two hour commitment as opposed to a one-to-ten year commitment to stories and characters; I like the scope of history of the arts and the cinema has a much richer, longer and more well preserved history (people didn't really think of TV as an art until our lifetimes); I'm more naturally drawn to and more often wowed by movie stars; I despise the false equivalencies people who should know better (critics and journalists) are always spouting about TV vs Film so I am routinely pressed and therefore must take up arms for the cinema!

But otherwise I love TV... or at least "my shows". So let's get to it. Who is Team TFE rooting for in the big categories?

Why I'm Rooting for _______ in Drama Series? (answers after the jump)

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Linkhood

Luise Rainer is now on Spotify with numbers from The Great Ziegfeld. And she's still alive to see it!
Vox this is why (well, one of the reasons) Emmy nominations are always so disappointing/strange: behold the labyrinthine nomination process
Overland Glenn looks back at Twin Peaks' influence on television's corpse littered playground 

Mash-Ups To Go
Have you binge-watched "Frozen is the New Black" yet? By which I mean watched it three times in a row like I just did. 

Oh i know you're not reading one of my books, bitch.

I love Belle's cameo so much.

APEHOOD trailer (Boyhood & Dawn of the Planet of the Apes mashup) from Nelson Carvajal on Vimeo.

And in other mashup news, this trailer for "Richard Linklater's Apehood" is making the rounds, a cute fusion of two great movies that happened to share this very same opening weekend so I hope you're seeing both this year. Oh, and Land Ho!, too. It's a really really good movie weekend y'all.