Q&A: Blondes & Brunettes, Silents & Sequels
Monday, October 24, 2011 at 10:01PM 
Each week in the Q & A column I choose a couple handfuls of reader questions to answer. I don't intentionally choose with themes in mind but this week's column, in the requested vacuum of Streep-less questions -- she'd been hogging the column -- tilted straight toward blonde icons and beloved brunettes.
Aaron: If "Girl with a Pearl Earring" and "Lost in Translation" had been released in different years, do you think Scarlett Johansson would be a two-time Academy Award nominee by now?
Fun question. I had to really ponder this. But my answer is no. Oscar fanatics love to debate "vote splitting" whenever someone has two meaty roles in the same category in a given year. The 2003 Oscar race was so weirdly splintered in Best Actress and the precursors just weren't showing herd mentality so right up until nomination morning it felt like virtually any combination of a shortlist that included frontrunners Theron and Keaton was possible. But Scarlett's Lost campaign had more problems than just The Girl With the Pearl Earring. Maybe Samantha Morton, in particular, would've been pushed aside for Scarlett had she only had one film. On the other hand, it was probably the combination of Scarlett's double-breakthrough that put her in the conversation to the degree that she was in it. But I don't believe that she'd have been a two time nominee regardless because the competition in 2004 felt so impenetrable; Moreno, Swank, Bening, Winslet and Staunton were always going to be the top five the following year.
Scarlett on the Lost in Translation circuit: BAFTA, GLOBES, OSCAR
The most interesting thing about 2003 Best Actress, at least for Trivia Nerds, is how young it skewed historically. Even if you remove the novelty nomination for 13 year old Keisha Castle Hughes (Whale Rider) you might still have had a record breaking year since both Evan Rachel Wood (she was 16 during the Thirteen campaign) and Scarlett Johansson (who had just turned 20) could have also become Youngest Ever had they landed in the shortlist. Both were younger than Jennifer Lawrence from Winter's Bone even who is now the second youngest nominee ever in the category after Keisha. Don't you ♥ trivia!?
MrW: Do you intend to have seen one day all Oscar-winning performances (all four acting categories)? Are there any Oscar winning performances you're embarrassed to admit you haven't seen yet?
I would love to be able to someday claim this but I fear I'll die before that gargantuan task is completed. Naturally, I'm most worried about finishing the actress categories. The three movies I'm most embarrassed I haven't yet seen that sucked up plentiful acting attention / wins are My Left Foot, The Last Picture Show and, yes, The Godfather Part Two. I seriously have no idea why I keep putting the last one off. I even own it!
Kent: Recently watched GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES for the first time. It was such a fun movie! Got me thinking about Marilyn Monroe and how the Academy shunned her so many times. She's so underrated as an actress. I loved her in BUS STOP and SOME LIKE IT HOT. Would you have rewarded her with nominations, even yet, a win?
True Story: I had this poster above of Marilyn Monroe from Bus Stop on my bedroom wall as a teenager -- yes the actressexuality started very early -- My mother saw it, shook her head and sighed audibly. "Tell her to put some clothes on!" LOL. Different generations, you know.
Marilyn nominations, War of the Hepburns, and sequelitis after the jump.
Like the Self Styled Siren, I am much more enamored of Marilyn's onscreen work than her endlessly merchandised celebrity. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is my second favorite film from her resume. I recently watched The Misfits again and though she wasn't quite as great in that as I had remembered on a second pass (I used to think I would have nominated her for it). I haven't seen Bus Stop since I was like 15 but I *think* I would nominate her for it. Some Like It Hot (1959) for absolute sure -- she's better than some of the nominees that year though I should note that I have not yet seen Simone Signoret in Room at the Top which is one of the few winning Best Actress titles that I have left to watch.
More depressing than Marilyn's lack of Oscar attention is her Golden Globe record. She was only nominated twice for Best Comedy Actress (she won for Hot) and that seems kind of ridiculous given that comedy was her forte. HOW THE HELL DID "GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES" RECEIVE ZERO COMEDY GLOBES OR EVEN NOMINATIONS?
Eric C: I've heard that Patricia Neal only won her Best Actress Oscar for "Hud" because it was a sympathy vote. Some have even said her role in the film was more of a supporting role and she shouldn't have been placed in the lead category. Who do you think should have won the 1963 Best Actress Oscar and why?
People don't always win for the right reasons, it's true. But even if that's why she won, she was more than deserving. Whether you put her in "supporting" or "lead" -- it's one of the rare cases where either categorization is fully justifiable -- she wins my personal vote for 1963. Hud is one of the greatest movies of the 1960s. In truth, I would have handed it three of the four acting Oscars that year. It's just an incredibly potent movie with a flawless and riveting triangle of characterizations. Paul Newman should not have had to wait until the 1980s for his gold man.
Choose THE BEST WOODY ALLEN MOVIE from each of his biggest muses - Dianne Wiest, Diane Keaton, Mia Farrow, Judy Davis, Anjelica Huston and Scarlett Johansson.
Dianne Wiest: The Purple Rose of Cairo (best film) Bullets Over Broadway (best at showcasing her)
Diane Keaton: Manhattan (best film) Annie Hall (best at showcasing her)
Scarlett Johansson: Match Point (best film... as for best at showcasing her, I'm not crazy about that performance and I don't much like her as a Woody muse.)
Anjelica Huston: Manhattan Murder Mystery (best & best ... I never really *got* whatever there was to get about Crimes and Misdemeanors though I realize many of my fellow Woody devotees feel differently and I should probably give it a second chance.)
Mia Farrow: The Purple Rose of Cairo (best and best at showcasing her with Alice as runner up in the latter category)
Judy Davis: Husbands and Wives (best & best)
Bill the Bear: Nat, are there any actors or actresses who are really "Box Office Poison" to you? That is, when you see their name in a cast list, you think "I don't want to see that because X is in it!"?
In the 90s I used to have that reaction to Melanie Griffith. Obviously I was starting to have that reaction to Zeéeeee before her career collapsed. I am absolutely allergic to David Spade, like break out in hives allergic; his smugness just nauseates me. The only true "movie star" that is an immediate NO for me is Nicolas Cage. I still don't like Philip Seymour Hoffman, it's true, but I have learned to tolerate him due to his very very fine taste in material. If I said no to him, I'd miss way too many good movies since all the best directors love him.
Emmanuel: Favorite Hepburn and why. Katharine or Audrey?
Between the two Hepburns I'm an Audrey man. It's a matter of her giant eyeballs, giraffe neck and the movies she happened to star in, of which I am more fond. Basically I like to look at her. She's in my 33 favorite actresses gallery, but honestly, she's #33. They're both maybe possibly arguably kind of overrated *ducks to avoid tomatoes thrown* not because they aren't fab but just given that they tend to come up in every "best ever!" conversation. That said, it has come to my attention that some of my gaps in Katharine's filmography are the performances her über fans like the most so I know I still have some screenings to get too.
Someone: Sure, 'Mommie Dearest' is the Faye Dunaway show. But what did you think of Diana Scarwid's performance? Are you or are you not one of her faaaaans?
LOL. I like Mommie Dearest well enough but I don't remember much about her performance. Honestly I'm a bad gay when it comes to the cliché group of Favorite Movies of the Gays as I have none of them memorized (I can only recall two lines from Mommie Dearest off the top of my head) and there are probably only a few dozen movies from history that I have seen more than, like, five times. I'm not a big rewatcher. That's mostly because I always want to see things I haven't yet seen, both old and new. Plus, if I see a movie too many times and I don't totally worship it I end up hating it.
That said, I like Diana Scarwid in general. She was great on Wonderfalls and I just loved her playing Pfriend of Pfeiffer in What Lies Beneath (2000).
are you one of her faaaannnnnns?
Beau: If you could see a sequel made to any three films, which ones?
One of my favorite things about the movies including the reason I prefer them to television is that they are perfectly contained stories. I love beginnings and middles but what I cherish most is a perfect ending. Even great films that end in beautifully open-ended ways can feel absolutely complete. Take something like You Can Count On Me. Technically since it's a character study, you could easily revisit those siblings... but given that perfect finale, that unspoken title... I just always want that to be the last moment with them. That said if you could guarantee that a sequel to that movie would be as revelatory and transcendent with the passage of time as say, Before Sunset, that would be my #1 choice.
I loved the idea of a sequel to 9 to 5 way back when they were hinting they'd make one (it never happened). Most of the film when I have sequel fantasies it doesn't involve a repeat of the first movie in new clothing but just following one character onward. For instance, sometimes I wonder what happened to Serra the prostitute after Leaving Las Vegas, what happens to Kym after Rachel Getting Married. I would have multiple orgasms if Todd Haynes agreed to revisit Cathy and Frank Whitaker or their sure to be fucked up children (they treat them like utter shit in Far From Heaven!) once a decade but in the style of different genres to change with the times like a 60s psychological horror film followed by a 70s Bergman pastiche and so on.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Ames: Let's pretend "The Artist" leaves a lasting influence and a few more silent films get made. Who are three current actresses that could shine without being audible?
We already know that Holly Hunter (The Piano) is a marvel even without her inimitable voice. This is a really hard question even though I've loved silent films since I was like 12 and saw my first one at a revival house. I think you'd need actors whose bodies are expressive and whose faces are exceptionally fascinating and my mind has gone blank -- HELP ME IN THE COMMENTS PEOPLE -- so without giving it too much thought, one of the first people who came to mind was Cate Blanchett. Surprise! Why? Well, two of her performances I think about the most are both much more silent than the others. I'm thinking of Heaven (2002) and The Man Who Cried (2000). And I know this wasn't the question on account of the penis but I want to say Brad Pitt. I love the way he holds his body in movies... and I don't mean that in a sexual way though he's got that going on, too.
But above all Tilda Swinton whose gargantuan eyeballs can house entire movies in addition to the ones she's actually acting in; I wasn't crazy about We Need To Talk About Kevin but I liked the movie that was playing inside those peepers.
YOUR TURN
• who do you think would excel in a silent movie?
• which movies do you crave sequels to?
• Kate or Audrey... or Marilyn?
Reader Comments (52)
Bill -- that's adorable. but your mommy won't know who i am ;)
You've never seen The Last Picture Show? that's just crazy. Of course for me it was a revelatory experience as a kid seeing it first on TV then later on VHS (uncensored). I recently read the novel it was based on and struck by how true to the book the film is, whilst still being completely "cinematic". (you don't have to have read the one to enjoy the other.) The only really major incision made to the film is cutting down on the role of Mrs Popper (played by Chloris Leachman, her Oscar-winning role); in the book her inner life, her marriage and storyline apart from the main character is explored in depth (to the point that they almost become co-protagonists).