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« Thank You From The Birthday Boy. | Main | Review: X-Men First Class »
Sunday
Jun052011

MTV Movie Awards ~ The Live Blog of Indifference

9:00 Black Swan and 127 Hours and Kings Speech jokes. oh my. My television is a time machine. Or MTV is. Jason Sudeikis made a joke about the set being Lady Gaga's bedroom. But I think... no... this is more like how I imagine Spider-Man Turn off the Dark set to look like.

Eva Mendes has been Teem Edward the whole time.

9:12 They've already told four Team Jacob / Team Edward jokes? That's like one every 3 minutes.

"My heart says Jacob. But my weiner says Edward. My balls are indifferent."

I'm scared to ask but...

 

 

9:13 Best Male Performance goes to Robert Pattinson who doesn't even do a good job of acting "indifferently cool / bemused". Jesse Eisenberg could act that while acting 7 other emotions simultaneously with an undercurrent of self loathing. These awards are always stupid.

9:27 Three people we like at once on MTV. It's kind of a rare occurence!

Crazy Stupid Indifference To This Awards ShowSteve Carell made a joke about horny dolphins. Emma and Ryan are both so naturally funny that the laughs are all reaction shots. Yay them. Can't wait for Crazy Stupid Love.

9:28 Tom Felton won "best villain" for snivelling sheepishly in the background of the Harry Potter movies. Now the Foo Fighters perform.

9:30 I love Hailee Steinfeld so much more now that I know she's as bored by the Foo Fighters as I am. That's as excited as she got during their performance. I call this look "indifferent serenity"

9:46 I fell into a deep dark hole of not caring. In that space of time Inception's zero gravity hallway and Amy Adams vs. The Sisters lost best fight to Twilight. BWAHAHAHA. Why do they even have these awards? I'm actually being serious. Why don't they just host like annual Twilight and Harry Potter parties. Wouldn't they be just as popular with MTV's crowd?

9:52 SERIOUS REFLECTION MOMENT:  the template for awards show hosting is to a) insert yourself into movie clips as opening monologue joke. b) Sing funny songs later on during the show that are about the movies that are and aren't nominated. That's it. Will anyone EVER shake up this formula. It's been this way since the 90s I think on every show from the Oscars on down.

10:00 I thought Best Kiss would be split amongst the Potter and Twilight crazies and it would go to Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis but instead it went to Bella & Edward. I'm assuming they've won before. Robert Pattison ran out to kiss Taylor Lautner instead which would have been funny / worth all the press it's going to get if they had actually committed. But it was basically a bear hug with a forehead kiss.

LAME.

Although knowing MTV they'll want to nominate this for "Best Kiss" next year. Maybe they could fill up the whole category with Breaking Dawn smooches?

10:20 Generation Award to Reese Witherspoon. That movie collage and Reese's speech reminded me that I love Reese Witherspoon (and I do forget from time to time.) She tries to make it cool to be a good girl again...

When I came up in this business if you made a sex tape. you were embarrassed and hid it under your bed.  Like if you  take naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone. Hide your face, people, hide your face.

But dissing fame through reality television and bad behavior doesn't seem to be getting much applause from the MTV crowd.They led up to the MTV Movie Awards with a Jersey Shore marathon.

 

 

 

Make a great movie again, Reese! Hurry up.

10:23 Texting during an illegal street race is stupid.

10:29 a fetus just won"best line from a movie" over The Social Network.

I want to get chocolate wasted!

Although, if I'm being honest I like to get chocolate wasted myself, well and often.

10:32 Best Female Performance? Let me guess. Kristen Stewart though it should be Emma Stone!

10:36 Music Performance =  Bathroom break just like at the Oscars!

10:46 Host promises the show is almost over. I'm holding him to that. Emma Stone wins "Best Comedy Performance" which is the first award that's many any sense tonight. Sanity temporarily restored.

10:49 Now the Twilight cast is introducing a preview of Breaking Dawn in which Kristen Stewart becomes the thinnest pregnant woman ever! Fact: Vampire fetuses are very small.

10:58 The Twilight Saga: Eclipse wins Best Movie ending with this surreal site of Gary Busey in a bubble looking on at the young vampires and werewolves and mopey human girls.

Is this image....

a) visual metaphor for being too old and thus removed from the MTV party?  No one does ageism like MTV!
b) to protect the Twilight cast from Gary's communicable diseases / crazy?
c) a literal ball of indifference?

You will tell me in the comments, yes?

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Reader Comments (47)

This is actually Felton's second win in a row to boot. He was kind of a villain in Half-Blood Prince, so it was understandable, but for Deathly Hallows Part I? No, just no. Unfortunately, though, he was the best of the nominees (and it wasn't anyone from Twilight, so that's a plus).

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel Armour

I thought that bit about the king's speech was hilarious. Jason's monologue was spot on, except for one too many jokes about arnold.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerence

Yeah Felton was barely in HP7.1 .......... but I would still rather it be him than the Twilight gang. Twilight is going to win everything else anyway.. sigh.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBK

Daniel -- i've already forgotten who the nominees were but he was NOT better than Mickey Rourke in Iron Man 2. i mean, my god.

June 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Oscar season is over and Steinfeld is still flawless, style-wise. I'm impressed.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercal roth

I just LOL'ed so loud at your fetus joke...but watching these movie awards has me sad. MTV has left me so far behind, it's (voting) audience is nothing but tween girls :(

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerence

Lotso should have won Best Villain!

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDominique

WHY AM I STILL WATCHING THIS WHEN GAME OF THRONES IS WAITING ON THE DVR?!

Cause I am a glutton for punishment. Not I didn't expect Twilight to win everything. Sorry for yelling :-)

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Terence -- MTV has definitely shrunk their demographic over the years, very catered to the very young now ... i'm guessing that's because they aren't really Music Television. "Music" has a much wider age range of fans ;)

June 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Kim, I always wait to watch Game of Thrones cuz it's so depressing.

June 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

That's true. It's Summer Sunday nights like this that make me miss Mad Men the most...

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Nat - I haven't seen IM2 in more than a year, so I have faint memories of it but I do remember Rourke being pretty meh in the film. Maybe I was expecting too much from Rourke after The Wrestler, lol.

Terence - I'm 25 going on 26 and I'm starting to feel too old for the MTV Movie Awards. I mean this will be the THIRD year in a row that Twilight has swept the awards and there's still TWO more films to go. Even the LOTR Trilogy, which one all three years, didn't sweep the entire awards. In fact, ROTK barely got any nominations besides Best Movie.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel Armour

I'm 22 and this show makes me feel really old and out of it.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDean

@Daniel I'm only 22! I shouldn't feel this out of the loop lol

@Nat yeah, I wish the MUSIC portion was still there

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerence

Dean -- i say revolt. I'm tired of feeling that teens and tweens are supposedly hipper than I am. I'm sorry but I'm way cooler than 12 year olds MTV can go fuck itself for thinking otherwise.

June 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Admittedly, I have to share some of the blame for Twilight because - for god knows what reason - I've seen the first three in theaters and will probably see the last two. I should have got out with the first one but now it's too late. Damn this completist syndrome, lol.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel Armour

*whispers* I've seen the first 3 twilight movies and will see the next two

HOWEVER, I get tired of it and Harry Potter being the only thing these tweens vote for. I mean Black Swan was nominated a ton! Thank God for Emma Stone's win

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerence

I'm twenty-one too and I too cannot understand how people not even 10 years younger than I am can be so very different from me when I was 16.

Well, at least The Twilight Saga did one thing right: it allowed Summit to earn the money they'd spend on a splendid campaign that got THE HURT LOCKER its Best Picture win. So there's that.

It kind of makes me sick to see so many talented actors being underused in that crap: Peter Facinelli (much more fascinating on Nurse Jackie), Elizabeth Reaser, Dakota Fanning, Bryce Dallas Howard, Michael Sheen - heck, even Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJorge Rodrigues

Well, two interesting wins tonight: Chloe Moretz and Emma Stone. That is all.

Oh god how I miss the days when the hipper MTV got was awarding movies like 'Scream', 'Pulp Fiction' or 'Seven'.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJorge Rodrigues

true story: i was dating a girl that liked twilight and had seen the first film in theaters many times. i had not seen it yet and when it came out on dvd i went with her to get it at midnight. after watching it with her, i seriously thought that i couldn't date a young adult who was obsessed with such utter shit. we wouldn't have lasted for other reasons but twilight was the tipping point.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDean

d) I don't approve of all this twilight rubbish winning everything.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiolia Kincaid

Side convo to this twilight discussion: Am I a bad person for being glad RPatz's statement about fucking Reese wasn't bleeped out? that had to be the highlight of the show...it was so bawdy and reese's reply about him being a motherfucker was pitch perfect

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerence

I've been feeling "meh" about Reese Witherspoon about not doing anything particularly interesting since Walk the Line, but that speech made love her so much again. Blake Lively, you got served.

Also loved: Andrew Garfield reaction shots. The entire time he was just fidgeting or looking like he seriously regretted being there. By the time Emma Stone won, he wasn't even in his seat anymore (though he could have just been out for a break).

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercaroline

These awards want me to beat my head repeatedly against a door frame, and I didn't even watch them, just read the results. And if I ever see Breaking Dawn, I'm not going to be responsible for the chaos and destruction that will ensue.

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

Why did Catherine Hardwicke go from Thirteen to Twilight? :'(

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPhilip

I waver on Reese from time to time but she completely won me over with her speech. The look back at her filmography mostly made me wish she would stretch again - she is unreservedly great in Election. I actually think she did a great job in Walk the Line, I was just still bitter about Joan Allen being shut out at the time.

As much as I usually hate sayings things like this, but Emma Stone really feels like the new Reese Witherspoon, no?

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrosengje

Did Reese say that on her speech? Was blake lively there? did we ger reaction shots from her?

I despise MTV. Always have, always will!

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

These awards were so, barf, aside from Emma Stone winning (thank god, I though ti was gonna go to Sandler) they were all terrible wins, usually the worst of the bunch. Tom Felton wasn't ttoo bad a choice but only because that whole catagory was terrible. If they wanted to stick with the HP/Twilight thing they could have at least given us Helena Bonham carter!!!

Rob kissing taylor was kinda funny, only becaus its the first time they've kinda acknowledged how homoerotic that film is, but i agree, they shouldve gone for it properly!!

I too liked the Reese Witherspoon bit, I love Chelsea handler so I was happy to see her there, and reese's speech was good, i've been off her lately, but I really liked what she was saying about being a good girl lol. and the Motherfucker bit was funny!


As for Sudekis, not bad. he Arnold jokes were getting old, but at least he knew it. i liked "the M stands for music, MTV execs i'm talking to you" I think they need someone who can push the boundaries a little more.

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBroooooke

why do people who complain so much about twilight actually pay money to watch the movies? they're not exactly helping matters. I've refused to see a single one of them in the theaters so far. I was always curious though, so I would just borrow the DVD from someone later on.

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercaroline

'Election' was on TV in the UK the other week, so I watched it with my girlfriend, who'd never seen it before. Reese Witherspoon is one of those actors whom you love but tend to forget about.

You've mentioned before that Ewan McGregor just makes you happy when you see him onscreen, and I guess for me it's the same with Reese. If you'd ask me who my favourite actress is, I'd say it's Kate Winslet. But if she and Reese were in the same film, I guess that it would be Reese that would make me smile whenever she's onscreen.

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Great job, Nathaniel, as always. Just wanted to say Happy Birthday (as facebook urges me so), and I hope you have a great great day with at least one Pfeiffer pfilm to maybe wash out all the MTV ickiness. Anyway, loving the new site and have a wonderful day x

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArun

What I always forget about Reese Witherspoon is that she seems to be very cool, relaxed, and funny offscreen, quite different than her type-A onscreen persona. I wish we saw more of this Reese in films, and in real life, for that matter—whenever I see clips of her from premieres and things she seems very ingratiated and trademarked, in a way that reminds me more of the "Reese Witherspoon" characters she plays than the relaxed, confident lady she sometimes allows us to see. That's why I loved her when she got bangs, lost a little weight, and gave steely smiles circa 2007 (see: 2007 Oscars)—a move that critics said was "off-brand" and even "off-putting," but that channeled a dimension of Reese that we theretofore hadn't seen much of.

That said, how can anyone not love her? She's been in the woods with her career since that Oscar win, but someone so beloved with that much charisma is bound to find a fitting project sooner or later.

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHayden W

In addition to the crime of WINNING for Walk The Line, I find it hard to forgive Reese for accepting her Oscar in one of the weakest fashion moments of her whole career.

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHayden W

Nathaniel, nice recap as always, but why do you waste your time recapping these awards!? Nobody at MTV takes them seriously, let alone the people who read this blog! This post just seems really out of place!

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDan

Only AMPAS, BAFTA and such should be glad that those "awards" exist and make their own mostly mediocre choices seem so respectable in comparison.

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJan

Jan -- point: Jan.

Dan -- because i like awards show ;) and people tend to show up when I write about them.

Caroline -- i've often asked that question myself. I blame "the tipping point" when something is just so huge that people feel the urge to indulge so they don't get left behind.

June 6, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

I never paid a cent to see anything twilight relates in a movie theater, and never will. They will never Make it on my money. I refuse to support it in any way!

I saw the first one on a plane and felt like jumping off of it, and saw the second once on cable on a sick day, and was shocked, impressed and astonished at how utterly bad that was! Pure crap on the highest level! Toxic waste!

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Philip -- it is a question that will haunt me forever.

rosengje -- i hear you and yeah, probably, right?

June 6, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Which was is Jacob and which one is Edward? [/obviously, my balls are indifferent

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I am 17 and justifiably embarrassed to be associated with people that will vote for anything 'Twilight' over anything 'Social Network'.

Just, ugh.

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNic

After seeing Burlesque, I'm Team Cam Gigandet (he was in Twilight btw)! Yowza!

And when did Jasin Sudeikis get so self consciously aware of his own cuteness?

Reese needs to go back to making indies. Love her though! Back in the early 00's, I waited on her once and told her how much I loved her in Legally Blonde...she was very grateful and gracious and thanked me several times. Very cool.

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSoSueMe

The winners suck but who the hell nominate them in the first place?

BTW Happy Birthday Nathaniel! =D

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFernando Moss

Nic -- then you will age well :)

Jessica -- LOL. so funny. perfect response.

June 6, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

I think you're a bit too harsh on the Pattinson/Lautner kiss. I thought it was cute, especially given the fact that one of them (Lautner) has dodged the gay rumor for a couple years now. Remember that REALLY awkward kiss between Jim Carrey and Will Smith about 10 years ago at the MTV Movie Awards where Will looked like he was being attacked by a soul-sucking alien?

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDame James

Any poll choices that don't include "balls"? (Equal time for the ovum, dudes.)

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanice

I'd rather swallow razor blades than willingly give my money to that awful Twilight series. Yuck. And of course they were gonna win everything, only 12-15 year old fangirls vote for these things. I mean, at least the Harry Potter books are well-written and have charm and life to them.

One wonders, though, how was Scott Pilgrim totally snubbed? And Toy Story 3 for Best Movie? Most curious.

Very cool to see Emma Stone surprise and Reese hand it to Blake Lively in her speech as well as cutie Jason Sudeikis calling MTV out for being so far removed from themselves. Who's running that network? Kenneth Parcell??

Where do I stand with Senorita Witherspoon? Election and Legally Blonde and that's it. Hated her rom-coms, Oscar win and every choice she's made afterwards. But that wasn't an option above, lol.

June 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMark

You gave me a good laugh on your review of the Oscar's. It's hilarious knowing that most of the moments belong to Harry Potter and Twilight. Don't they even notice the other movies that came out together with the two? XD

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June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBuyWoWAccounts
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