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« What do the Oscar gowns of the past 22 years tell us? | Main | Curio: Oscar Unsheets, Part I »
Tuesday
Jan312012

Vanity Fair 2012 'Thoroughly Modern Actresses'

The "Hollywood Issue" cover is here! You can't see me but I'm totally throwing confetti. It's one of the ten greatest Oscar season traditions (do I feel a list coming on? Maybe later).

 

Mario Testino took over photography duties for the first time. The girl's with the hardest working teams behind them (how do you think anybody lands the front cover?) are, from left to right, Rooney Mara, Mia Wasikowska, Jennifer Lawrence, and Miss Ubiquity 2011 Jessica Chastain. On the inside folds we get from left to right: Elizabeth Olsen, Adepero Oduye, Shailene Woodley, Paula Patton, Felicity Jones, Lily Collins and Brit Marling.

A zoom in for a closer look... 

Lisbeth, Katniss, "Mia Vashivovkoska" (thanks Meryl), and Miss Ubiquity

RuPaul's Drag Race premiered again last night so you'll forgive this outburst... 

GAG ON THE ELEGANZA!"

Not that any of these beauties look like drag queens... though Shailene Woodley wins the awards for "looking the least like herself" and Rooney Mara is still working the most easily duplicated look should you want her as your new style icon. 

more zoom-ins, reader questions, and fun trivia after the jump!

Martha Marcy May Marlene with Adepere and Shai (and Felicity's dismembered legs)

Given that these covers are obviously art-directed down to every square inch, the faint reflection of Jennifer's ass and Rooney's back from some imaginary mirror are no accident. Notice the "V" insignia and the white roses and white everything setting off the delicate satin colors so one wonders if the actresses had any say over which of the colors they wore? The colors don't really repeat but they all compliment each other so I see them all as reality show contestants on America's Next Top Actress and for this photoshoot they had to run to the wardrobe and grab at outfits. Paula was disappointed that there was no glaring LOOK AT ME yellow available and Rooney is pissed that she's in pink. Too flouncy for a goth girl.

Paula, Felicity, Lily and Brit 

 

In the past we've done studies of Vanity Fair's Hollywood covers and how well careers went afterwards but we obviously can't do that here, given that this cover is in the now! But we can guess.

FOUR QUESTIONS FOR THE COMMENTS

  • Who wins an Oscar first? 
  • Who becomes a TV star by 2017?
  • Who from the inside gatefolds becomes a bigger star than most of the front cover girls?
  • Who are you pissed didn't make the cover and who should they replace?

 

STATS AND TRIVIA!
Youngest: Shailene Woodley just turned 20
Oldest: Paula Patton is 36
Average Age: 25½  
Number of Oscar Nominations Among them:  3 (all on the front cover and 2 of them right now in Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress)
Average No. of Films: 6 (I only counted released movies... though it's Mia Wasikowsa and not Jessica Chastain that's skewing the sample. That girl works all the time.) 

Most Difficult Thing Any Of Them Was Asked To Do OnScreen This Year: Acting opposite Taylor Lautner (Oh, please you try it!) Poor Lily! Runner up: Elizabeth Olsen asked to shoot a kitten in Martha Marcy
Number of These Women Who Have Made Out With Ryan Gosling (That We Know Of): 0. Weird. Though Adepero did play an unnamed "Crack Smoker" in Half Nelson. The Gos had better get on that. After Emma, Michelle, Kirsten and Evan we thought he was working his way through the entire Hot List of young actresses. But maybe not.
Men They Have Shared:  Mia's Kids screen brother Josh Hutcherson is now Jennifer's love interest (and combatant) in Hunger Games; John Hawkes was menacing guide (of sorts) to both Jennifer & Lizzy in their breakthrough roles; Jennifer & Felicity fought over Anton Yelchin's affections in Like Crazy;  Terrence Malick has directed both Rooney (Lawless ...coming eventually) & Jessica (The Tree of Life); and both Mia and Jennifer have slept with Michael Fassbender...albeit offscreen or after the end credits (Jane Eyre and X-Men: First Class)

The Only One of These Women To Be Post-Converted into 3D
: Mia Wasikowska (Eyesore in Wonderland)
Number of These Women Name Checked in Meryl Streep's Golden Globe Speech: 3 (Rooney, Mia, and Adepero)
The Only One of These Women To Ever Play a Character Named "Blu Rain": Paula Patton. Paula wins. 

Here's Vanity Fair's making of tease...

ELEGANZA!

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Reader Comments (59)

Best dresses: Adepere and Marling.
Worst dresses: Jones and Wasikowska.

January 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteradri

Who wins an Oscar first? Either Chastain or Mara. Keep working with acclaimed directors and the Oscar is getting closer, girls.
Who becomes a TV star by 2017? Lily Collins. No one knows her.
Who from the inside gatefolds becomes a bigger star than most of the front cover girls? Either Jones or Olsen.
Who are you pissed didn't make the cover and who should they replace? Not so pissed but Evan Rachel Wood had a pretty good year with Ides of March and Mildred Pierce unless she’s on this kind of cover before.

Most natural pose: Jennifer Lawrence.
Most WTF pose: Shailene Woodley
Most “can we go home now, my back hurts” pose: Jessica Chastain
Most “why am I not of the front cover part” pose: Paula Patton

January 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMikhael

"The Only One of These Women To Ever Play a Character Named "Blu Rain": Paula Patton. Paula wins."

LOL!

Who wins an Oscar first?
Jessica Chastain, definitely. Right age, beauty, talent. It won't be long. I could even see it happening next year. Supporting and then at some point she'll probably get a lead oscar. Idk, I could see it happening.

Who becomes a TV star by 2017?
Paula Patton. She has the chops for TV. And she was supposed to be on Law & Order as a lawyer at one point I'm pretty sure. I could see her being one of those constant Emmy nominees for her show, maybe even win one.

Who from the inside gatefolds becomes a bigger star than most of the front cover girls?
Like most, I say Elizabeth Olsen.

Who are you pissed didn't make the cover and who should they replace?
Octavia Spencer! I know they keep the colored girls on these covers to a minimum and they never have girls that aren't thin on the cover, but seriously, that would've been perfect. To go from bit parts in all these movies to a big break, going from "oh, we know that face" to "potential Oscar winner, Octavia Spencer" is pretty amazing and I think deserving of a spot on this cover. I would've probably replaced Lily with her. That would've sort of made up for Gabby's omission.

January 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPhilip

*Gabby's omission back in 2009/2010.

January 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPhilip

What is with all the air brushing?? These are all gorgeous women - there's no need to make them look like Real Dolls. Gah.

January 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterK

Oh yeah, and why not Kristen Wiig?

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPhilip

My question is: how does the actress who starred in a film that grossed one billion dollars get away with being called a "fresh young star of 2012"? And credited for ALBERT NOBBS? Yeesh.

Who wins an Oscar first? Paula Patton
Who becomes a TV star by 2017? Er, Paula Patton
Who from the inside gatefolds becomes a bigger star than most of the front cover girls? Um, Paula Patton
Who are you pissed didn't make the cover and who should they replace? Replace Mia (who I adore, but shouldn't be there) with someone like Keke Palmer who still needs exposure of that kind. And, hey, she was just in Joyful Noise so she had some timely relevance to the cover.

I wasn't joking about Paula Patton. I feel like she could win for an Angela Bassett style performance but by 2017 be like Holly Hunter and get demoted to TV.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGlenn

Dianna Agron is missing.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmre

"The problem with Mia is that she is soo bland. Her performances are good, but not great. She does absolutley nothing for me."

I don't think she's bland. I think she has great screen presence.

February 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous
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