Sunday
Aug252013
Say What? August Squabble
Sunday, August 25, 2013 at 1:05AM We asked you to amuse us with captions or dialogue for these stills from the forthcoming AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY starring Julia Roberts forcibly hugging or attacking Meryl Streep.
And the winners are...
"Viola sends her love"
- Brookesboy
Honorable Mention
"Meryl babe, let it go, three is the new four"
- Dave in Alamitos Beach
Caption: "Erin Choke-a-bitch"
- Mareko
"Nothing is more powerful than the human spirit. Except Julia's craving for another Oscar"
- Davide
Thanks for playing!
Reader Comments (61)
If I squeeeeeze her, an Oscar will come out!!!
-Feel the enDOLphins, mom?
-You sound like a hooker.
(remembering the 63rd Academy Awards)
Julia: Thanks for demoting yourself so I can get nominated for Best Actress again!
Meryl: Oh, stop it! You know I'll be back next year.
Julia - " You're GOING to go supporting so I can have a CHANCE !!!! it's been 13 YEARS since Erin Brockovich !!!!!
STOP MAKING FUN OF MY MARY REILLY ACCENTS! YOU KNOW I CAN'T DO THEM AS GOOD AS YOU!!!
I'm the bigger box office draw! You're a pasty old hag on her deathbed, I'm the marquee! Everybody knows... ( I may have stolen that from Michele Weinberg - disqualified?)
I love you and you're totally the lead. Now take another pill and go to bed until awards season ends.
I said GO TO BED!!!
Julia: Tell them to remake Death Becomes Her and I want to be Madeline.
Meryl: I won't do it I tell you. I won't let you touch that movie.
Not added dialogue but if all professional wrestling was Oscar-winning actresses duking it out in living rooms I wouldn't watch anything else.
Let go of me, Julia, I'm trying *ACT* this cigarette!
For the first picture:
Meryl:"I'm practising my gracious loser face".
[Julia hugs]
"I'm not losing to you, dear, don't worry".
For the second picture:
"TAKE A BREAK. You're killing it for the rest of us. Poor Margo has to do television. TELEVISION, Mary Louise".
First picture:
Roberts (under her breath): This is MY Oscar clip, you'd better keep it low.
Second picture:
Roberts (out of control, screaming) : I told her it was MY clip, Ewan, you were here. You've seen her, doing it again.
PS: I know, the second picture calls for something different, but I wanted to put Ewan McGregor in the conversation, literally.
First picture:
"I'm sorry for asking Harvey to tell you to go supporting since I wanted lead"
"That's ok because that oprah is not beating me"
Second picture:
"Meryl you were supposed to be nominated in supporting why did _________ announce your name in lead"
"It's not my fault, blame the academy or Harvey"
Bottom image:
"PLEASE, PLEASE, let's make EAT PRAY LOVE 2: Lesbian Experience together. I'll let you be the girly one and I'll be the butch."
Julia to Meryl (first still): "Quiet now. Let us meld into one and together we will stomp the throats of Cate, Sandra, and those other bitches."
First: J: "You were right all this time, Mom. I really can see the tip of my nose if I look down often enough."
Second: "Ewan McGregor wants me, Mom. ME!"
(My train of thought got the better of me perhaps.)
First Photo:
Meryl: Kathy Bates should not have beaten us in 1990.
Julia: I know, honey...I know.
Second Photo (Moments Later):
Meryl: I was the BEST!
Julia: *I* should have beaten Kathy! YOU ALREADY HAD TWO!
(Actually how I feel. They consistently duke it out for one and two in my head for that race that year).
Top image: "Viola sends her love."
Pic 1. Julia to herself."I'm inches from a choke hold and it would be over before she knew it."
Pic 2. Julia to Meryl: "I wanted to be the Witch! I wanted to be the Witch!"
Pretentious you can eat a big fat rubbery one. Bates is forever a Best Actress, unfortunately so is Jennifer Lawrence.
(first scene)
Julia: I'm sorry Meryl are you feeling bad for winning your third Oscar for such a terrible movie? Boo hoo.
Meryl: Thanks sweetie, "The Iron Lady" might not be my best, certainly not as great as your... you know Julia I can't even remember the last movie you were in.
(second scene)
Julia: IT WAS "MIRROR, MIRROR" AND IT WAS FUCKING DELIGHTFUL!!!
- Meryl (crying inconsolably): Me? Supporting?!
- Julia (whispering some comfort): You should never have listened to Harvey. Big mistake. Big... Huge!
Top image
Meryl: Dead Man Walking? Dead Man Walking!?! WTF!!!
Bottom picture
Julia: Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?
Meryl: Because I am not one of your fans!
Pic 1: Julia stands in for Rapunzel as Meryl rehearses the "Stay with Me" number from Into the Woods.
Juilia: Meryl, Meryl, come back to lead!
Meryl: It's not me, Julia!
Julia: Harvey?
Meryl: Harvey.
FIRST IMAGE:
Meryl:
"That Harvey! That horrid man! He's pushing me to go supporting. Then half the voters will put me down as lead and the other half will vote supporting! I don't want to be left out altogether! You bitch! You put him up to this!"
SECOND IMAGE:
Julia:
"And what if I did? I... WANT... A SECOND... OSCAR! Live with it!"
First photo: Meryl babe, let it go, three is the new four.
I'm lead... (slap) I'm supporting (slap) I'm lead (slap) I'm supporting (slap) I'm lead and I'm supporting !!!!
First Picture:
Julia -- Nothing's gonna harm you. Not while I'm around. No one's gonna hurt you. No one's gonna dare...
Second Picture:
Julia -- WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING LEAD?!
I'm campaigning for brookesboy. "Viola sends her love" made laught, made me cry, so emotional. brookesboy wins!
Julia: Please be supporting, please, please
Meryl: Fine, just let me go.
--------
Julia: You said you'll be supporting AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Meryl: It's not my fault the critics aren't blind BITCH!
First still :
JULIA : Can I win a lead one just like Nicole ?
MERYL : Julia, it was different. This time I have the showiest part.
Meryl: No really, Julia. It's fine. Getting a fourth would be **too soon**, especially when I waited so long after my third.
Julia: Thank you so much! It means so much to me.
Meryl: Enjoy the company of the Hilary Swanks of Oscar history if you win, dear. That is, of course, if the awards bodies even for a minute think Violet Weston is a supporting role. Deanna Dunagan **did** beat Amy Morton for the Leading Actress Tony, you know? Remember your time on the Broadway stage, dear?
**claws out** Transition to the next scene.
First: I love the smell of moth balls in the morning!
Second: For the last time, LEAVE EWAN'S TIE SIZE ALONE!
First
Meryl: oh Julia, honey, that's too tight. That's too tight! You're cutting off my circulation!
Julia: this is for Susan, Jessica, Diane, Sigourney and other 50+ actresses. Choke on your catfish.
Second
Julia: I THOUGHT I VANQUISHED YOU! WHY ARE YOU STILL IN THE RACE?!
Margo: yeah, kill her.
Second:
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, PEOPLE LIKE SANDRA BULLOCK MORE?"
First:
"Meryl, at last we'll both get a box office hit after such long time!"
"Julia, have you been in Hollywood these last ten years? Everything I do is a hit. Whereas you..."
First
Julia: I am asking you politely. Demote yourself!
Meryl: Ha. You'll have to kill me first.
Second
Julia: Say good bye mama. This is your last day.
Margo: There goes my best chance to win that Oscar.
Ewan: Ladies, stop and put yourselves in my position. I haven't been nominated even once. And that Waltz guy has two.
Julianne: Why won't somebody notice me already and cast me in a Shirley MacLaine biopic?
Meryl: Do it it already, Ms Julia. Killing me will only elevate me in their eyes. Remember Heath and Peter Finch. Hello Oscar number 4! (doing Ursula from The Little Mermaid impression)
Moving on to the second image.
Julianne Nicholson air bubble:
UGH, DO I **REALLY** WANT TO DEAL WITH MERYL OR JULIA IN SUPPORTING?????? MY ROLE'S IMPORTANT TOO! WHY CAN'T HARVEY GO FOR THE ALL ABOUT EVE RECORD IN ACTING NOMINATIONS?
Margo Martindale air bubble:
THIS IS ALL GETTING A LITTLE TOO STRANGE. MERYL DECIDES TO LOOK LIKE ME, ESSENTIALLY PLAY VIOLET THE WAY I WOULD'VE PLAYED HER, SINCE I WOULD'VE BEEN A PERFECT VIOLET WESTON, AND NOW I AM WONDERING IF I WOULD BE IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION IN FIGHTING WITH JULIA. YEP, I'M WEIRDED OUT BY THIS.
Ewan McGregor air bubble:
EVEN THOUGH I'LL ALWAYS BE TEAM NICOLE, THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!!!! ESPECIALLY SINCE ALL OF THIS ACTRESS-ING IS TAKING AWAY FROM ANY POTENTIAL BUZZ ABOUT MY ROLE!!! I WANT A NOD!
First image:
*Thinking* So this is what it feels like to touch a talented actress...
Second Image:
"I'M RUNNING THINGS NOW!"
I will never be able to not think those words when looking at a picture of what is that scene. It's too perfect to come up with anything else.
First still:
Julia (thought bubble): There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me, 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
Meryl (with Brando/Kurtz accent): "The whore. The whore..."
Second still:
Julia (screaming): It used to be about trying to do something!!! Now it's about trying to be someone!!!!!!
Erin Choke-a-bitch.
C-H-O-K-A-B-I-T-C-H. I want him to call me...it's as simple as that.
First still:
Julia: Just reminding you that I boned Lyle Lovett once upon a time.
First pic
"Every time I smile at you across the room or we run into each other at a luncheon or I welcome you into my home? Let that smile be a reminder of just how much I despise you. And every time I hug you? The warmth you feel is my hatred burning through.”
Second
"It's the power of Christ. The power of Christ compels you!"
Pic 1:
Julia: Oh, Meryl, it has been an amazing experience to work alongside such a talented actress...
Meryl: Thank you, Julia. You are also very talented, even when you are not able to imitate an accent. I watched you in 'Mary Reilly' and 'Michael Collins', and I think...
Pic 2:
Julia: Stop making fun of my accents, bitch! You are only a good imitator, but I have the charisma! I HAVE CHARISMA!
MDA for the win.
First image
Julia: No need to feel guilty, sweetie. We all know Viola should have won two years ago.
Second image
Julia: I told you to stop calling me ANNE HATHAWAY!!!
Julianne: And I thought Chris Noth was a diva. The worst he did on the "Law and Order: Criminal Intent" set was throw a drink in my face.
Margo: Stop your whining. That b*tch Timothy Olyphant threatened to beat me with my own Emmy.
Ewan: I just want someone to notice me!
#1st pic
Julia: Mike (Nichols) will be so happy watching his two favourite actresses working together...
Meryl: Yes darling. Mike is so great... I got two Oscar nominations working with him. And you darling?
#2nd pic
Julia: I should have been nominee with Closer!!! I deserved it!!!!