Are You "Divine"? On Recent Divas, Heroes, and Sexpots
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 at 11:40AM 
A NOTE BEFORE WE BEGIN: I am aware that you're impatiently awaiting 2014's April Foolish Oscar Predictions but please to note: I am aiming for April 13th but they definitely won't be here today and that's no April Fool's Joke.
With 2013's best films all soon to or already arrived on DVD, let's wrap up the Film Bitch Awards which are getting later and later each year, damnit! I'm leading with "the most beautiful woman in the world" to your left, Divine, who also went by the alternate title "filthiest person alive." Can't they both be true? If you haven't caught up with the documentary I Am Divine, you should. It's really fun. I saw it about a year ago at the Nashville Film Festival at a late night screening in which two of our fellow moviegoers, utterly sloshed girls we accidentally befriended at a festival party, got lost in the theater looking for each other and tumbling down stairs in the dark (no one was hurt). It was a memorable midnight screening let's just say.
I'm never sure if I should include documentary figures in our extra special 'character-specific' awards but sometimes you just gotta have it. And by it I mean the mad brilliance of Divine. She famously inspired one of Disney's all time greatest villains (Ursula the Sea Witch) but she's competing for the gold in Best Diva this time with another instantly iconic character: Queen Elsa from Frozen.
On the new Film Bitch Awards chart (We've only one page to go and we're done woo-hoo) you'll also find movies like The Heat, Stoker, Man of Steel, in our choices for Best Hero, Best Villain and Diva and Sexpot of the Year. Scarlett Johansson (Don Jon & Her) and Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games: Catching Fire and American Hustle) both managed double nominations this year so have a looksie.
And please do comment away - I don't relish solitude like Elsa.
Reader Comments (21)
Great choices, and love the inclusions of No. Damn Johansson, you are not messing around with that diva slot. Actually all the female divas would crush Gatsby if it came down to it. (I kind of think Jasmine was a diva unaware as well.)
Hemsworth totally deserves the nod, but surprised he's the only male sexpot. Uncle Charlie was creepily sexy early on, but yes, death to Kidman attackers. Amy Adams is a no-brainer, of course. Trying to think what other guys I might add... wow, can't think of anyone. What's with that?
eurocheese -- right? Usually the sexpot category has 2 or 3 men. lame year for sexy men.
Antje Traue was the best villain in Man of Steel. She was unstoppable, frightening and totally believable.
For heroes,I would include, or at least debate about, Jackie Robinson ("42"), Irving Rosenfeld ("American Hustle"), Ron Woodruff ("Dallas Buyers Club"), Jep Gambardella ("The Great Beauty"), Robert Reich ("Inequality for All"), Ellis ("Mud"), Ahmad ("Le passe"), Abraham Zapruder ("Parkland"), Philomena Lee ("Philomena"), and Owen ("The Way, Way Back").
Celestine!!!! That made me squeel in the squeekiest way that only mouses can understand/appreciate! How let's have a sequel/crossover where she meets Remy from Ratatouille and live happily ever after together! =D
Mind you, I love ScarJo and Chris Hemsworth as much as everyone else, but what is wrong with that sexpot line-up? It is SO weak! What is happening to sexy in movies?
I would definitely put runner-up Darlene Love in 20 Feet from Stardom at the top of the Divas list. She blows them all away, even Divine.
Male sexpots of 2013? Christophe Paou in Stranger by the Lake?
Oscar Isaac needs to be in that sexpot lineup.
Not sure I understand your def of sexpot. Rayon had a sexpot fibe about her. JGL in Don Jon was certainly a sexpot. I thought JL was more of a sexpot in AH than AA and how can you not include Bradley Cooper in the sexpot line? The disco scene alone puts him up there. Boy's hips are like butter. And.........James Deen in The Canyons.
Paul -- sadly, Stranger by the Lake didn't open until 2014
Carmen & Henry -- it was a weak year for sexpots & divas :(
Ah, I got to see it last year, but forgot about the release date.
Hey, who won best actor?
You should had seen Brian de Palma's Passion. McAdams is both sexpot and diva in it.
Léa Seydoux in perpetuity for sexpot of the year. Not just for Blue Is The Warmest Color, but also Grand Central, which almost literally swoons every time she's on screen. The male-gaziest movie ever directed by a straight woman, and I mean that as a compliment.
Male sexpots are definitely harder to come by this year. Tahar Rahim definitely gets his fair share of ogling in Grand Central. I thought Yiftach Klein was bringing it to Fill The Void, but it's hard to justify him as a sexpot when the whole movie is about decorum and restraint. Issach De Bankolé is super sexy in parts of Mother Of George, but he's also a bit of a downer. Definitely on the Bradley Cooper train--chest hair for the ages. I'd say Adam Bakri in Omar, but I guess that's 2014?
For me, "sexpot" always implies a flaunting of one's sex's appeal, which is why I can't really include the leading men of The Past, 12 Years a Slave and Prisoners in this discussion. (But I had to mention them.)
I'm so confused. Don't you feel that Blanchett and García gave super diva performances last year?
Peggy -- i feel like Jasmine's confidence is too shaken to be the diva she clearly thinks of herself as... and García was not a diva so much as an eager self-actualized dame. but that was my reasoning at any rate. this is not diva actress so much as diva character
Henry - but that brings up an interesting point about DON JON. I actually believe that one of the problems with Don Jon was that JGL did not sexualize himself enough. I know that the topic was sex addiction but it really felt that as a director JGL was not comfortable with himself as a sexual object. Very comfortable with ogling Scarlett though. In short, i don't think he's great at directing himself.
Mmmh... I see.
These lists are great. I love Renée Saavedra for hero, James Hunt for sexpot, and Nicki for diva. It'd be very hard for me to choose re: poster and villain, but I heartily approve of The Bling Ring and No and Encarna and Uncle Charlie making your short lists.
Hmmm.... Since I've finally seen it, I didn't feel Violet Weston so villain after all. She's mean without a doubt, but also a broken and seriously f*cked up character. I mean did you hear the stories about how her mother treated her? That boots story is really nasty and that thing with a hammer... good gawd. But there's of course a good amount from the original screenplay missing, which I have no knowledge to, so...
Anyway, the scene where she ran into the fields with Barbara following her was quite awkward in the trailer, but a very sad moment in the actual film. Nowhere to go.
But I don't complain her placement at all.
GREAT lists, but is Samantha REALLY a sexpot outside of having Scarlett's voice? I never really got that vibe from the character or the film itself. J-Law or Bradley Cooper's characters in American Hustle fit much better, methinks.
Also, Llewyn Davis is the biggest diva of the year.
So SOO thrilled you got around to posting these… and some of my fav categories...
HERO:
Go Katniss and shame on the MTV movie awards for excluding her. Surprised by absence of SHORT TERM 12’s Grace and PRISONER’s Det. Loki. But sweet write-ups.
VILLAIN:
THE CONJURING’s Bathsheba is gonna get you ;) Like that you included Mistress for SLAVE
DIVA: Heee, your picks and comments in the categoey always make me smile.
SEXPOT:
Agreed on all the gals although I’d have included Uncle Charlie. It’s kinda of a Patrick Bateman situation but you can’t deny the yummyness
POSTER:
Woot for 12 YEAS and WOLVERINE. I also loved the TEMPTATION teaser… the posters are usually the lone commendable part of a Tyler Perry film