April Showers: Joan Crawford & "The Man Who Seduced Hollywood"
Friday, April 3, 2015 at 11:00PM waterworks, some weeknights at 11
The danger of the "Best Shot" series is that sometimes the film consumes me for a whole week when I need to be focusing on other articles and behind the scenes duties (Oscar Prediction Charts coming soon!) But let's wash Mommie Dearest (1981) out of our systems with one last post by way of kicking off April Showers, our annual misadventure of gawking at shower scenes.
Mommie Dearest does practically begin with one. And not just any shower scene. It's funny. It's weird. It's glamorous. It's expensive. It's monogrammed. It turns wildly inappropriate during the dismount!
Surrender to Joan's pink after the jump...
We first gawk at Joan Crawford's ginormous monogrammed bathroom and multi-headed shower in the opening credit sequence as we observe the movie star's intense morning beauty ritual.
A few minutes later we enter that pink palace after an unintentionally funny exchange downstairs in the foyer when Crawford's boyfriend Greg (Steve Forrest) is forced to remove his shoes due to her OCD cleanliness. He wonders if he should remove his socks, too? Cue a hilariously drawn out wordless shot of Faye Dunaway's Joan as she pauses, walks to her mark near the camera slowly, lifts her chin and finally responds "I can handle the socks". It's one of the weirdest come-ons in the movies, but you know it is one because Forrest looks like he just popped a boner and Carol Ann, the hired help (Rutanya Alda) gets a 'where do I look?' eye-flash reaction shot, as they ascend the stairs to her boudoir, that's held for an inexplicably long time as if she just witnessed something very scandalous indeed.
What do you suppose "I can handle the socks" is a euphemism for?
Discuss in the comments.
Two of the Best Shot contributors, Abstew ("This is how a star showers") and Dancin Dan focused on this shower scene. Here's a snippet from Dan's that throws out his smart thesis about filters on "true" stories like this (he chose that foggy glass shot)...
In Mommie Dearest, we're not seeing Joan Crawford as she was. We're seeing her through several filters - her daughter, her daughter's book, the screenplay, Dunaway's performance, the director's vision - enough layers to be like frosted glass...
But hopefully you've read all those articles, already. Now back to the shower...
She can handle the socks, Gregg, get in there!
How great are these image of barrel-chested Steve Forrest, manly man actor, in pink "Joan" towel (hee) surrounded by all that decadent exquisitely decorated 'her colors are pink and pink' lady trap bathroom? The movie star is like a siren luring him into the water. Mainly by ignoring him and just getting off on the water itself. All the great stars are autoerotic.
The movie takes the time to show him tightly wrapping himself in a towel only to have him whip it off 2 seconds later. Heh.
They begin to laugh, moving in for the nude wet embrace.
CUT TO: Nuns with Joan at the orphanage. LOLZ
This has to be one of the most inappropriate edits in a movie. Surely intentional but to serve what purpose other than a laugh? But usually the movie isn't intentionally comic. =
For what it's worth the casting of Mommie Dearest is actually pretty strong from a looks perspective. Though Faye circa Mommie Dearest (1981) was the exact same age as Joan circa Mildred Pierce (1945) she pulls off older Joan better, I think. The other characters are pretty well cast too, looks wise, particularly the little girl who plays young Christina. It's almost eery how much she looks like the photos.
But let's talk about this Gregg/Greg person. In "Joan Crawford: The Essential Biography" by Lawrence J Quirk an William Schoell they write:
Most chroniclers of their relationship (including daughter Christina) paint Joan as the villainess, with her purported expecations that Bautzer bow down and worship her, be her slave and carry out her every whim. The truth was that Bautzer, like most men Joan met, expected Joan to bend to his will as the natural order of things: men were the bosses, women did as they were told. This would certainly not sit well with an independent female like Joan Crawford. The story generally goes that Joan boooted Bautzer out of her life -- indeed, her car -- beause he paid too much attention to younger women at parties, and that aspect may well have been true. But mostly Joan got tired of constantly battling with Bautzer, who regarded it as his male perogative to be in control at all times."
Gregg Forrest, Crawford's lawyer boyfriend early in the movie is a fictional character, one assumes to avoid litigation from the real "Lawyer to the Stars," he was obviously based on, Greg Bautzer, who was still alive when the movie came out. According to biographies, he ran hot and cold with Crawford for years and was quite a playboy in Hollywood with the A list actresses. There's even a book about him "The Man Who Seduced Hollywood" since Ginger Rogers, Lana Turner, Dorothy Lamour, were just a few of his other conquests...
Greg Bautzer & Joan Crawford 
Joan and Christina in the early years
I'll have to pick up that book and try to square it with the film version of the man.
Have you gotten Mommie Dearest out of your system yet? If you've been putting it off, Jesus Christ, it's right there on Netflix for your instant watch gratification.
Reader Comments (4)
I don't think I'll ever be able to get this movie (especially the shower scene) out of my system and that is just fine.
My two cents:
Quirk is an old-school Hollywood writer who should know what any movie fan knows: that high octane divas like Crawford (Bette and Liz come to mind) typically mowed their men over! Or made them carry their dogs, like J.C.'s Phillip Terry and E.T.'s "stolen" Eddie Fisher. And when Crawford met an old-school guy like Greg Bautzer (much like when Liz Taylor met Mike Todd)...fireworks ensued!
What do you suppose "I can handle the socks" is a euphemism for?
I believe she's being literal for the era. Men kept their dress socks on during sex. Whether she pulls them off upstairs or allows him to keep them on is her choice.
The first part of the movie is camp heaven- it looses steam once Christina grows up - yeah that shower scene is very sexy...