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« Beauty Break: Mahershala Ali and the Beach | Main | Emmy FYC: Eva Green and Christian Camargo, "Penny Dreadful" »
Tuesday
Jun202017

50 Appropriate Ways to Celebrate Nicole Kidman's Birthday

On this very day in Honolulu, Hawaii, 50 years ago, grad student Antony Kidman and his wife Janelle Ann welcomed a baby girl into their lives. Her Hawaiian name was "Hōkūlani" which means "Heavenly Star" and she turned out to be one. Twenty-two years later she was headlining motion pictures. A few years after that she was breaking through and in 2001 she ascended permanently into the canon of great film stars with the one two punch of Moulin Rouge! and The Others. Her name is Nicole Kidman. Perhaps you've heard of her? So happy birthday to the one and only at her half-century mark.

50 Appropriate Ways to Celebrate Nicole Kidman's 50th Birthday
Try them and report back on your success!

01 Have patience with the mere mortals around you who keep expecting you to prove yourself or don't "get" you. Humor them and keep on working because genius comes naturally to you.

02 Vote for Nicole Kidman on your Emmy ballot for her deep dive into Celeste's psyche in Big Little Lies

03 Drift in and out of an Aussie accent all day, mate

04 Kiss someone who can carry a tune or will sing you a country music song...

05 Speak in an affected whisper voice all day

 

06 Tell us about the first time you remember seeing her in a movie. Mine was Days of Thunder (1990)... so embarrassing! (I had to backtrack to Dead Calm to discover what the fuss was about) 

07 Wear something daringly fashion forward

08 Rewatch her Oscar acceptance speech and nod your head about art being important. It is. 

(especially the art of movies and actressing)

09 Scream "I'm dying in this town!" at your significant other

10 If they don't get the reference, slap them.

11  Watch The Hours (2002) for the umpteenth time

12  Draw a picture of Nicole's Lion wig from memory. Tee hee.

13 Run around your house/apartment closing all the doors and curtains while doing your best "Grace" from The Others. Your loved ones might be allergic to the light! You might be allergic to the truth.

14 Fantasize about Jude Law while reciting the "I marry yooo I marry yooo I marry yooo" mantra

15 Remember that you're nobody unless you're on TV. And Kidman is always on TV. 

16 Seduce someone who looks like a young Joaquin Phoenix and make them do your bidding

17  Sing-along to your favorite Katy Perry song

18 Get your eyes on Flirting (1991) if you can. So few have seen it and it's so good and Nicole is delicious in it and it's her only movie with best friend Naomi Watts

 

an ole classic visual we made of Nicole plotting

 

19 Obsess over your favorite auteurs and who'd you most like to work with. You know that's what Nic' asks the cinematic gods for every year on her birthday!

20 Be jealous that Nicole Kidman once called me on the phone

21  Pre-buy your tickets for The Beguiled (opening Friday)

22  Say "Bring me the anatomy book" in your most wickedly enigmatic drama voice

23 "Suppress" any Scientologists you run into

24 Peek at someone's junk

25 Work so hard that no one can keep track of how many projects you have going or have already completed

26 Feel guilty about your sexual fantasies involving Alexander Skarsgård. If you feel no guilt about sexual fantasies just go for it and pee on someone who looks like Zac Efron.

27 Play the Moulin Rouge! soundtrack or at least "Come What May" super loud and sing along. You know the words

28 Celebrate the Bohemian Ideals  "Freedom. Beauty. Truth. And Love." 

29 Cry in your car thinking about Nicole's lived-in grief in Rabbit Hole

30 ... and then rage at the skies about how many times she hasn't been that lucky (but was just as deserving) when chasing an Oscar nomination. It's absolutely crazy to think of the people that have more nominations than her.

31 Befriend someone who looks like Naomi Watts

32 Remember that you'll soon get to see Nicole Kidman underwater in a superhero film.

33 Name your favorite Kidman monologue... Is it from Stoker? Lion? The Others? Dogville? To Die For?

 

 

34 Pray to the cinematic gods that she finds a way to bring Photograph 51 to the screen. It could be another Oscar nom role

35 Be extremely excited when you remember that Top of the Lake Season 2 is only 3 months away!

36 Slap your monkey

37 Vote on this week's Beauty vs Beast poll

38 Rewatch that fun "73 Questions with Nicole Kidman"

39 Put on a pair of slutty f*** me pumps for an hour...

40 ... and have telepathic sex with someone you're crushing on

41. Pretend Sandra Bullock or Jennifer Jason Leigh is your sister

42. Borrowing this next one from Russell Falcon...

 

 

43. If you have naturally curly hair, pretend its red all day. If you have red hair, pretend its blonde. And vice versa. If you have no hair, imagine yourself with your favorite Kidman cut

44. Rank everything you love about Nicole Kidman

45. Keep everyone guessing about who you really are...

46. Alternate personas all day - cycle through "bright and bubbly",  a "wilting flower" and "smoldering temptress" with abandon.

47. Share this post on Social Media and tell everyone about each of these that you do.

48. If anyone bitches about your Kidmania, unfollow them.

49. After you've shared this post listen to the score of Birth and go into a deep hypnotic trance thinking of how much you love Nicole Kidman in that movie. She's so overwhelming you can't even move.

50 ...And wish the queen well on her 50th.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE!
WE ❤️  YOU LONG TIME

 

 

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Reader Comments (32)

Happy day to Nicole ... and to you, Nathaniel!!!!

June 20, 2017 | Registered CommenterMurtada Elfadl

I do these every day, but okay today especially.

June 20, 2017 | Registered CommenterGlenn Dunks

Bring me the saw. I want a piece of birthday cake.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterbrookesboy

I wonder if she, Jodie Foster, Michelle Pfeiffer or Julia Roberts will get the AFI? Happy 50th birthday Nicole, you don't look a day over 35.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDevon

Such a happy piece to see first thing in the morning! <3

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commentereurocheese

Pure Genius!! Her performance in Birth is imo, alongside with Huppert´s The Piano Teacher, the best of that decade

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLSS

Loved her in big little lies but if handmaids tale ends up in the miniseries category (not sure which it qualifies for) I can't imagine any argument about how one could vote for Nicole over Elisabeth Moss. Also I thought Reese might be my personal choice in big little lies.

To this PERFECT list I would add watching two very underrated Kidman films: Flirting and Portrait of a Lady. Granted she's not THE reason to watch those movies but she's terrific in both and the films are very much worth checking out. CANNOT WAIT for Killing, Beguiled, and Top of the lake. Very much a good time to be a Kidman fan.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPeter

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN NICOLE KIDMAN!
I actually first laid my eyes on her in Dead Calm on HBO.
She totally deserved the Oscar for The Hours, just amazing.
Maybe 20 more years before she got the AFI life achievement award.
Please God let her win the Emmy for BLL!!!

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCraver

My fave bit of Kidman actressing ever is her reaction hand over mouth/sobbing to Shelley Duvall's big reveal in The Portrait Of A Lady.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermarkgordonuk

Even Sasha Stone is celebration offering us Kidman in pole position as BEST ACTRESS and what a line up that list would be.

Nicole Kidman, The Beguiled
Florence Pugh, Lady Macbeth
Salma Hayek, Beatriz at Dinner
Gal Gadot, Wonder Woman
Carey Mulligan, Mudbound

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermarkgordonuk

Mark -- i predict not a single one of those performances will be nominated :)

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNathaniel R

Peter- The Handmaid's Tale is being considered for Best Dramatic Series so you don't have to worry about any competition there.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

"Hi Nathaniel, it's Nicole." ❤️

Kidman is one for the greats. She's fearless (and peerless), and I couldn't be happier for her newfound respect and critical and audience reevaluation and adulation. She deserves it.

If Photograph 51 does transfer to the big screen *or* Broadway, expect Oscar and Tony nominations (and probable wins) for Kidman. Think about it: it's a biopic about a pioneering woman in her field whose life was cut tragically short. She already aced it on stage in the West End, so I hope she can use her producer cred/heat to make it happen. What an interesting bookend it would be to her Virginia Woolf.

Anyway, happy b-day, diva! 🎉

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMareko

Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus (2006) embodies Kidman's daring and intelligence. I'll spin my copy in celebration.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenter/3rtful

Me too but what a diverse line up but Oscar would never make it that interesting.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermarkgordonuk

I like Kidman. But this
Is a little
Over the top.

I am surprised you have ignored
Pfeiffer in Wizard of Lies. Her
Part was not much but she delivered.
A much better actress than Kidman. IMO

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenternatalie

Can't believe you didn't even mention Judy Garland's Birthday and you just posted... this.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAAA

I like Kidman. But this is a bit over the top.
I am surprised you have ignored Pfeiffer in Wizard of Lies
Her role was
Not much but she delivered
She is a much better actress than Kidman. IMO

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenternatalie

AAA -- here are 14 pages of our Judy Garland articles for you

Natalie -- hoping to do a post on that this week but i'm a little behind :)

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNATHANIEL R

This post is genius, so funny and joyful!
Nathaniel, you need to rewatch The Portrait of a Lady: it's a pure gem, so underrated, and Nicole is trascendent.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterferdi

I can't believe she's 50. She looks younger than that and looking much better than her no-talent, egotistical midget ex-husband who is just looking.... old. Nicole is the best and I will definitely go see The Beguiled.

And yes, Portrait of a Lady is a very underrated and underseen film more people need to see.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterthevoid99

I just did no. 9 when our AC at home won't function properly and my bf said, "Calm down, Virginia!" I might just propose to him this week. :)

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNewyorker27

I'd like a full review from Nat on TPOAL.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermarkgordonuk

51. After watching "The Hours" for the umpteenth time remember "You can't find peace by avoiding life"
52. Become a fan of "The film experience"

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMagicub

Mark -- ooh, I shall take you up on this challenge.

NewYorker -- DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY

June 20, 2017 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

I was waiting for (dreading) someone to chime in about how "over the top," etc. a post is dedicated to Nicole Kidman on her 50th birthday. Because that milestone for people comes around so often, don't you know? (P.S. Judy Garland is long gone, and the centennial of her birth isn't until 2022; the 50th anniversary of her death, not till 2019. Relax, y'all.)

But seriously, even when Kidman "went big" in Hollywood (circa 2002), it's not like she didn't *try* to work with interesting directors who, while mainstream, certainly had their critical bonafides: Frank Oz, Nora Ephron, Sydney Pollack. She didn't sign up for hacks like Pitof or Brett Ratner, so let's give her credit for good instincts, re: directors, if not always projects.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMareko

I love Nicole Kidman so much!!! I can hardly stand it. Loved this list.

Really loved reading your phone interview with her. That must've been very reassuring for her, especially the comments regarding Birth.

I've texted five of my friends "Happy Nicole Kidman's Birthday!" today.

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRoger

Nathaniel,

Your interview with Nicole is still one of my favorite posts of yours.

Love this celebration and hope to read your review of The Beguiled soon!

June 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDrew

This is a glorious list, but not quite as glorious as the time I met Nicole briefly. My life peaked that day. It's been all downhill since then.

June 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEz

Here Here, Mareko

Happy Birthday, Nathaniel, and Happy Birthday to your Celebrity Girlfriend, Nicole! May she have many birthdays and Award Nominations!

June 21, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterforever1267

AAA, this post is about Nicole and an amazing milestone in her life. Nathaniel has always kept up with Judy. Keep up.

June 21, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterbrookesboy

We all should watch Actors on Actors: Nicole and Ewan <3 too.

June 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLuiserghio

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