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« 22 Black Dresses | Main | Best Golden Globe Tweets »
Monday
Jan082018

Ranking the Golden Globe Presenters

by Jorge Molina

Oh, what a night. The Golden Globes delivered the head-scratching, Twitter-blowing night that we expect every year. Of the many things we can count on (apart from drunk speeches and Meryl being nominated), is that they are the award show that puts the most thought, or at least has the most fun, pairing up their presenters. To various degrees of success. 

So check out this second annual ranking of the Golden Globes presenters after the jump, evaluated in terms of banter, chemistry, relation to the award given, and presentation...

33. Seth Rogen (The Disaster Artist): Sure, the guy’s charming. But he just spent a good two or three minutes basically saying how James Franco was a crazy genius. Read the room, Seth. And not Tommy Wiseau’s. 

32. Roseanne Barr and John Goodman (Best TV Series – Drama): I did not grow up with Roseanne, so for all I know this was a perfectly joyful reunion of two beloved actors in anticipation of the revival. But Roseanne is problematic, and the room knew that. 

31. Sharon Stone and J.K. Simmons (Best TV Supporting Actress): A perfectly acceptable pairing but Sharon’s dress was more memorable than their chemistry. 

30. Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant (Best Foreign Language Film and Dunkirk): Let’s all forget Did You Hear About the Morgans? ever existed. Also, points off for basically reusing Hugh to introduce Dunkirk immediately after. Lazy. 

29. Kerry Washington and Garrett Hedlund (Best TV Actor – Drama)

28. Octavia Spencer (The Shape of Water): She’s a predictable, welcome delight. But she had only so much to do here.

27. Emilia Clarke and Kit Harington (Best TV Series - Musical or Comedy, and Best TV Actor – Drama): The Globes don’t often pair people who are in current projects together, so it was off-putting to see two who so memorably are. They looked pretty but having two presenters stay on stage and present two awards back to back always sends a tiring message that the clock is ticking.

26. Gal Gadot and Dwayne Johnson (Best Actress in Miniseries or TV Film): Two of the biggest action stars in the world, and it was great that (at least in this moment in time), Gal had the upper hand.

25. Dakota Johnson (Call Me by Your Name): Beyond working with Luca Guadagnino (A Bigger Splash) previously why was Johnson chosen for that introduction? Very Golden Globes but still confusing. 

24. Halle Berry (Get Out): That the first African-American woman to have a Leading Actress Oscar was chosen to introduce the (better) film about racial tensions in America was arguably too on-the nose. But sometimes on-the-nose is good.

23. Sarah Paulson (The Post): Her little rant about the movie was okay, but the real delight came as she was introduced as “star of The Post”. It's not technically untrue (she is in The Post and she is a star), but it is hardly her movie. We’ll take it, though. 

22. Kate Hudson and Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Best Supporting Actress): A reminder that 1) Aaron Taylor-Johnson is a Golden Globe winner, 2) a snack, and 3) Kate Hudson needs a comeback vehicle ASAP. Maybe call L’Oreal? 

21. Michael Keaton and Alicia Vikander (Best Film – Musical or Comedy): the award for Most Random Pairing.

20. Christina Hendricks and Neil Patrick Harris (Best TV Supporting Actor): Christina’s black thick-rimmed glasses were the best fashion choice of the night. 

19.  Amy Poehler and Andy Samberg (Best Animated Comedy): following a tradition of comedians introducing the animated category, Amy and Andy tried to come up with some funny banter, but there’s no way anything could live up to last year’s genius Kristen Wiig and Steve Carell’s depression routine.

18. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Kirk Douglas (Best Screenplay): I get what they were going for, honoring a legendary (though controversial) figure for his centennial, but forcing elderly figures into the spotlight when they’re past lucidity (or able to speak) is cruel. Catherine pushed through, though, and made it work.

17. Greta Gerwig (Lady Bird): Too brief but having Greta on stage for any reason whatsoever is a delight.

16. Reese Witherspoon (Oprah): I love Reese. I love how much she loves Oprah, and that sense of admiration came through in her speech. However, I personally would have chosen someone else to give that award to her. Ava DuVernay was right there!

15. Salma Hayek (Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri): A literal goddess. But why on Earth is she introducing Three Billboards, when her relationship and connection with Guillermo del Toro from the very tight Mexican film community is so much more resonant?! 

14. Zac Efron (The Greatest Showman): I assume he was saying something circus-related. Other thoughts were running through my mind.

13. Sebastian Stan and Allison Janney (I, Tonya): In the Battle of the Moms, Laurie Metcalf has the stronger performance, but Janney has the charm. And don’t underestimate charm.

12. Mariah Carey and Common (Best Original Score): Skinny legend Mariah Carey in all her diva glory, struggling and then giving up pronouncing Alexandre Desplat’s name is all I ever needed. 

11. Emma Watson and Robert Pattinson (Best Limited Series): Teenage fandoms of 2008 were on fire. And Emma’s delightful reaction at Big Little Lies’ win was all of us.

10. Kelly Clarkson and Keith Urban (Best Original Song): the annual quota of musicians presenting a music award. That harmonizing was so damn charming.

9. Jessica Chastain and Chris Hemsworth (Best Actress, Musical or Comedy): Jessica seemed nervous and stumbled over her words, but they had a nice bit going about pay equality. Also, who expected a reminder that The Huntsman happened.

8. Emma Stone and Shirley MacLaine (Best Actor, Musical or Comedy): I’m not saying anyone should ever remake The Apartment. But if anyone does, there’s your choice. 

7. Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon (Best Actor, Drama): On one hand, it was truly great to have a reunion of one of the all time most iconic female duos. On the other, it’s truly amazing what different paths they both have taken since then. If only the control room had just cut to Debra Messing.

6. Jennifer Aniston and Carol Burnett (Best TV Actress, Musical or Comedy, and Best TV Actress, Drama): They were one of the few pairs to actually have a bit going, which is always appreciated. And reminder that Jennifer Aniston is great at comedy and needs to be back on our screens.

5. Edgar Ramirez, Penelope Cruz, Ricky Martin and Darren Criss (Best Actor, Miniseries or TV Film): I can’t remember what any of them said they were so beautiful to look at, my God.

4. Barbra Streisand (Best Film, Drama): In pure Babs fashion, she managed to make a call to arms while at the same time making the moment about herself. A legend.

3. Viola Davis and Helen Mirren (Best Supporting Actor): Viola had, hands down, the best look of the night. But seeing them together made it clear that we need a buddy comedy. Or, you know, a villain duo for for Ocean’s Nine.

2. Isabelle Huppert and Angelina Jolie (Best Actress – Drama): The poise, elegance and sheer power that came off that stage when these two walked out. Forget Brad Pitt, this is the real power couple.

1. Natalie Portman and Ron Howard (Best Director): The six words that reverberated through the world. This placement is just for Natalie Portman, who had the unenviably difficult task of following Oprah’s speech. But she went beyond with her simple exclamation of “And here are the all-male nominees” encompassing in a single sentence the complicated lack of gender parity that the entire evening was all about. It took everyone off-guard (poor Guillermo), and made everyone clear that the girls are here to take what’s theirs. Time’s up.

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Reader Comments (39)

PO'TMAN MOTHAFUCKA!!!!!!!!

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterthevoid99

If Portman needs to editorialize on the nominees she should go do it on twitter that\s not what she's there for.

Catherine Zeta-Jones ... still gorgeous.

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLibrary

Natalie cares so much about women's abuse, discrimination and unequality. That is why she has worked in a short film directed by Polansky, compared being served steak at a party with being raped, refused to recognize the work of the female dancer who did the shots she lied to about doing herself and is still friends with the director who exploited interns.

Guillermo del Toro, despite his penis and his whiteness, has endured much more prejudice and obstacles she ever did. She should learn to see privilege besides gender (we know she supports having race privileges anyway).

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPablo

Um, really? I love Portman in Black Swan but her shade is inappropriate. The directors don't even nominate themselves. She tried taking the spotlight but Guillermo is a deserving winner and his speech is so heartfelt.
Talk about a hypocrite. Natalie herself rarely works with a female director. Time is also up for the human rights violation in Palestine. Would she talk about that too in the future? I doubt so.

LMAO at that bird on Allison Janney's shoulder. They should have brought the real bird.
I need more Isabelle Huppert.
Wouldn't it be awkward if Jennifer and Angelina bump into each other backstage? The drama of it all lol

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCraver

Poor Guillermo del Toro. White men are so oppressed these days.

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterbeyaccount

Foreigners from third world countries are a discriminated group in this country. Check it out and while you are at it have that condescention and smugness checked too.

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPablo

Portman moment was awesome. Only gasp moment on the stage tonight and it was fucking ballsy - this could very well result in her losing roles. Those are 5 very powerful and well liked directors in Hollywood who themselves or their supporters may take it the wrong way. AND you know she knew that too but didn’t give a shit.


So likable IMO

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHuh

Guillermo del Toro is Mexican

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMe

Is it just me or does Sharon Stone look like a sexy , younger Hillary Clinton in that picture? Lol

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGeorgio

In my opinion ... none of the presenters were memorable or said anything fascinating.

Oprah gave an Oprah speech and I liked it )period )


Hope the Oscars are better than this show.

P,S, I did like Seth Meyers!

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered Commentergrrr

@ Craver - Why on earth would any of the nominees would feel guilty because of Portman's comment? It's clear that is not a criticism to them but for HFPA. I think discussing the actress trayectory now is irrelevant and is an easy way not to focus in the real problem: female recognition by the industry.

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJorge

Guillermo del Toro looked somewhat amused at Natalie's remark. He took it better than many of the posters here. He did tell Indiewire that Lady Bird was his favorite film of 2017, so he likely agreed that Greta Gerwig was more deserving a Best Director nomination than, say, Ridley Scott. (And Ron Howard got a big laugh out of it and nodded his head, further cementing the fact that I may not like Howard as a director but I love him as a human being.)

As for whether or not it was inappropriate, that's for the awards show producers to judge; we'll see if she's invited back to present in the future. Personally, I thought she was a lot more interesting than any of the other presenters. I couldn't even remember most of the people on this list were there last night.

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Ok. Excuse me for not following actors non-acting stuff but why exactly is Roseanne "problematic" and Kirk Douglas "controversial"..?

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

I still think Seth is Scruffy Adorable, and I might be alone in this.

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterforever1267

Wow, Seth Rogen should be near the top, not the bottom! He's one of the few presenters who actually *had* a real introduction.

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan

i agree with Craver. making that comment immediately before a category meant to honor people is selfish and disrespectful. while it may be an indictment of the HFPA, it also easily has the effect of undermining the nominees, and just making them feel unnecessarily uncomfortable....why would you do that? we can see they're all men...let that irony play out powerfully on its own. it's not the comment that's the problem...it's her timing. the comment made the moment about her at a time reserved specifically to be not about her.

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterEricB

Kelly Clarkson was definitely super charming last night. From her fangirl moment with Meryl on the red carpet and her finally meeting Steve Carrell... she had a night.

And yes, Natalie Portman was a baller. Good for her. The nominees shouldn't take offense. It was aimed at HFPA/industry.

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRyan T.

Roseanne has gone on several pro-Trump rants on Twitter. She has also ranted about LOTS of things for YEARS. Someone at ABC finally wised up and got in her ear, because she has announced she is taking a break from Twitter for a while.

She also has a long-publicized history of mental illness including Disassociative Identity Disorder. Those of you too young for the original "Roseanne" might not realize how revolutionary, successful, and controversial that show was (and people older than me will REALLY get it; I was two when it premiered).

I *loved* reading about Kelly Clarkson finally meeting Steve Carell. Apparently he improvised that line on the spot (I've had my chest waxed before - don't blame him!).

I am so here for the new American Crime Story that I may as well move to Miami. I highly recommend trying to read the book before it starts unless you prefer going in blind.

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJakey

22 - Sondheim's Company reunion!

January 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterG.ShaQ

The hell Natalie shouldn't have said something. Sure, it's not the nominated directors "fault" the H.F.P.A. didn't nominate Gerwig (or Rees, or Peele, for that matter), but don't forget that these five men are all members of the D.G.A. and A.M.P.A.S. as well. They actually have a lot of power to influence the directors' branch to recognize female filmmakers. Spielberg, Scott, Nolan, among the most powerful men in Hollywood, deserved a serving of reality, which Natalie dished out ice-cold. Don't fuck it up, Academy.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMareko

Deserved a serving of reality Mareko? WTF for? Directing movies that people enjoy? Let’s not start blaming people for making movies and getting nominated - what were they supposed to do? Actively campaign not to be nominated? What a load of claptrap - I loved Natalie’s reminder to the HFPA but in no way should the nominees feel bad or blame themselves - Get Out with that attitude!

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

Of Course Natalie should be at #1 here. Of the presenters, she spoke the only line that anyone can quote back the next day.

OK, I also remember Carol Burnett calling Jennifer Aniston "kinky." Twice.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHustler

Wow - when did this blog become ANTI-NATALIE PORTMAN? She made a (valid) remark. It was intended to be a dig on the HFPA for not nominating any female directors. It was not meant to insult the talented male directors. The HFPA has been known to nominate more than 5 and they could have nominated Greta for Lady Bird or Patti for Wonder Woman. As for Roseanne - I won't be watching her reunion show because of her support for trump. And please lets not excuse her support for trump on mental illness. There are a LOT of people suffering mental health problems and they don't all go rant on twitter supporting the orange dotard.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBette Streep

The problem with Natalie Portman’s statement is that it suggests one of the five nominees was unworthy. (Personally, I would have ousted McDonagh for Gerwig - but that’s not the point - NOR is it what Portman’s personal ballot might look like!) Charlotte Rampling spoke out about what such a charge intimates a couple years ago (then in regard to race) - and was largely scorned.

I also mourn the loss of this site’s former glory as politics has become the main topic and the love of movies has become a secondary concern.

Oprah’s speech was magnificent, and what she has made of herself is beyond incredible, but in no way do her contributions to film warrant a Cecile B. DeMille Award. The Color Purple is the only classic film in which she appears. (I would have had zero qualms with her taking Best Supporting Actress for it.) The honor was a strategic effort to anoint her the inevitable 2020 Democratic candidate. It was transparent. Clearly, neither legislative nor military experience matter; we are fully living in an age where only the cult of personality matters. 💔

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRyan Crowe

And I agree that females need to be more recognized in the industry. Which can be done by real action. Like having actually worked for female directors. Instead of only saying that you support them. That is why her "trajectory" matters. I rest my case.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCraver

Not that it necessarily makes MORE sense but Dakota Johnson is also in the upcoming Guadagnino directed "Suspiria".And she has a movie coming out next month to promote, so if they wanted to get her up there presenting it's not too confusing.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNicola

"I also mourn the loss of this site’s former glory as politics has become the main topic and the love of movies has become a secondary concern."

Do you... even read The Film Experience, Ryan?

Anyway, I loved Natalie's ad lib. Hopefully it sparks a fire under the directors of the directors branch. If they give us another list of white men they will be scorned. Of course, Portman's comment was only worthy of underlining when LADY BIRD *won*, yet the female director of a comedy is still deemed less worthy than, like, Ridley Scott.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGlenn Dunks

It is very simple. There was a very worthy female director (or two but The Beguiled has been forgotten) that did not get her nomination. Portman pointed it out. That’s it. Everyone in the room knew it. The movie took away best comedy. She was shut out because she was young and female while people lose their shit over young male directors. It needed to be pointed out.

I remember Whoopie Goldberg doing something similar at the Oscars jn 2001 when she introduced Moulin Rouge and said “all of that without a Director” because that was probably one of the most monumental directing gigs and Baz Luhrman missed out on a nomination. This shit happens all the time so it’s nice when presenters step out of “the magic of cinema” stale intros and make a little statement.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTony T

What self-respecting director with a conscience - straight, male, nominated or otherwise - could possibly take personal offence at Natalie's words?

It was impeccable timing and the perfect time and place to make the point.

And yes, of course, apart from gender, other types of privilege exist. But highlighting one type of privilege isn't somehow an attack on other ways of lacking privilege. Ffs.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered Commentergoran

A robot would've done a better job than Dakota Johnson. How she's still a thing is a mystery to me.

I'm glad you said what I was thinking about the Kirk Douglas presentation. Wheeling him out so that he can do his schtick was cringey.

Your description of Babs is exactly why I would've put her near the bottom. Her "I'm a woman, poor me" act was old a long time ago. It made more sense when she was one of the few people saying it on an awards stage; but when you have a whole evening where literally every category had a presenter saying the same thing, then maybe you don't have to harp on it yourself. Same with Natalie, by the way; timing was everything there. If she made that side comment early on, it would've been acknowledged. But to make that comment right before announcing the winner seemed unnecessary. Especially since 4 of the 5 director nominees (including the winner) made films with women as the central character.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGuestguestguest

It's obvious Babs has a self-absorbed persona so much so that she loves to draw attention to her accolades whenever possible. Just go ahead and watch some of her interviews and you will see that her vanity manifests itself right, centre and left. She's talented no doubt but her Achilles heel is her self-absorption/vanity which explains why she can't even get a movie role these decades.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDuncan

The problem is that Portman is now seen as a ¨brave ¨ heroine when she never did anything for the underdog, abused women or the unprivileged ever (her politics are as problematic as Rosseanne´s). She´s only doing it now beacuse it is trendy. And yes, her support of Polansky and Israel are relevant if you are put on a pedestal as some sort of progressive icon because, only once, during two seconds, she cared about inequality (the inequality of your group nonetheless, which requires no empathy) or maybe she just cared about the praise she would receive.


The lack of awareness and the mockery that the subject of xenophobia and etnocentrism has received in this site is a confirmation that everyone just cares about their own group ( or the ones the trend of the moment indicates you should care about) and that americans don´t want to recognize that they are privileged over the rest of the world, even if they are female or gay or of color.

And no one in that event is oppressed.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPablo

The fact of the matter is that most of the "activism" we saw on display at Sunday night's telecast from almost everyone except for the actual activists in attendance was indeed performative. I don't know how many of the celebrities at the ceremony truly have taken up social-justice causes as a matter of genuine investment in seeing meaningful change, but what was apparent was that they all tried their best to present as "woke" despite the fact that many of them in that room -- including the women so intent on declaring that "time's up" -- have contributed in different ways to various industry problems.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTroy H.

"But to make that comment right before announcing the winner seemed unnecessary. Especially since 4 of the 5 director nominees (including the winner) made films with women as the central character."

News is breaking today that Michelle Williams was paid a fraction of Mark Wahlberg's $2M salary for reshoots on All the Money in the World (possibly $80/day for 10 days), so I certainly am not willing to pat Ridley Scott on the back for making a movie in which a woman is the central character. He was a producer on the film and should have paid his employees equally for equal work!

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

NATALEGEND DID THAT SHIT!!!

I'm still reeling from the brilliance! Take notes, BAFTAs. SMDH.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDorian

Suzanne: fair point, although I'd say that seems to reflect more poorly on Wahlberg (or the agents involved) than Ridley, who is certainly not celebrated for his salary negotiation skills. I'm curious how that story develops.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGuestguestguest

@Michael. Rosanne has said a ton of shocking stuff over the years. Where to begin? (Pro-Trump, anti-transgender, etc.)

Kirk Douglas? Let's just say there's a dark, dark rumor that will not die in Hollywood that puts him way over at the darkest level of Harvey Weinstein territory, if true. Word is, as soon as he dies it will come out.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDanniella

I know her politics are bananas but I cannot help but still adore Roseanne - her show remains the world to me.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAndrew Carden

@Michael

If you're curious, google "Kirk Douglas Natalie Wood."

re: Natalie Portman

I thought what she said was fine. I can't believe I have to say this but remember, Hollywood is in the grip of it's biggest scandal since HUAC. And one of the biggest contributors to this scandal is the staggering power imbalance between the sexes. And that manifests itself in myriads of ways.

It's easy to say "they weren't nominated because they were men, but because their work was acclaimed." But imagine actually mentioning all those modifiers marginalized voices are often subjected to every time.

The subject of privilege is definitely one worth engaging on, Pablo, but within the Hollywood paradigm, I'd argue del Toro (who's last three films definitely lost money for Hollywood) getting to still make movies despite them not being financially successful, is a demonstration of privilege. Compare that to someone like Kathryn Bigelow - when her films flopped, they basically wouldn't give her any money for anything.

re: politics

Not gonna deny, don't know how Nathaniel isn't a volcano of rage every day about his country. I'm not even American and there are days when I feel grievous rage to the point where it stops me from actually doing stuff.

January 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArkaan

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