Drag Race RuCap: "Teacher Makeovers"

NICK TAYLOR: I know both of us are less jazzed about the makeover staple, so let’s just get that out of the way now. This episode didn’t alleviate any of my usual feelings about how this challenge is judged or executed. I’m glad the teachers were so uniformly game, unlike some of the surlier participants from older seasons, and the basic cloning/color swapping made the peaks among this group somewhat limited. Imagine the ramifications of Crystal Elizabeth Methyd rightly winning this challenge in season 12 and encouraging future queens to really go apeshit on what “family resemblance” means. The race is tight enough at this point that winners and losers truly come down to hair-splitting, yet this week’s choices release that tension into something inevitable without being totally satisfying. How did this week’s episode sit with you?

CLÁUDIO ALVES: For a bitter curmudgeon like me, who thinks the makeover challenge is the worst Drag Race staple, this was an enjoyable hour. It could have been much worse…

First of all, the idea to spotlight teachers is lovely, feeling like an extension of the season 12 super fans concept. I come from a family of teachers, so any media that honors the profession is bound to spark some joy. Moreover, these educators seemed to have a blast, adding necessary sweetness into the late stage of the season when most contestants are starting to become cutthroat and frazzled. Despite no slamdunk winner or great imagination, the cast did well across the board with only one exception, and all the guests looked fantastic regardless of their queen’s success. Yes, I disagree with the judging, but that’s a given in these episodes ever since Rebecca Glasscock somehow won the inaugural makeover, and Bebe was up for elimination for no good reason.

Reading what we’ve both written so far, I can’t help but feel we’re avoiding the elephant in the room. It’s time to talk about Loosey Laduca, whose arc starts right away, as we’re confronted with Salina’s mirror message.

NICK: I agree with all the good stuff you said about this episode. It’s a decent showing for basically everyone, but you’re right that we still need to let loose, as the kids say. Loosey’s hurt about lip synching for her life and being told she deserved to go home despite doing well in the Rusical. Luxx’s five-point presentation outlining Loosey as the most generic queen left in the competition especially stings, as the two won a challenge together two weeks ago. Luxx is adamant she meant no disrespect, and Loosey in turn takes it personally.

This is the most I’ve empathized with Loosey’s simmering bitterness, now that she’s bottomed despite a good performance and been told to her face she shouldn’t be there. I’m torn between admiring her restraint against turning into a raging bitch and almost bummed that she’s so terrified of looking bad on TV. There’s been plenty of discourse about how more recent Drag Race seasons have become less drama-focused and antagonistic, for better and worse, and Loosey seems highly aware of keeping her angrier emotions in check without recognizing the seams are showing. It’s a weird spot to be in, one she’s seemingly ready to overcome by winning the whole season.

CLÁUDIO: We’ve both said this before, but the longer runtime has allowed for a type of character complexity that was absent from the season’s first half. Loosey’s depiction here is a melange of mixed signals, fascinating contradictions that speak of producers trying to get the most drama and still somewhat hesitant to bury the bitch. Her frustrations are palpable and, maybe for the first time, completely understandable. And yet, for as much as she tries to control herself, some spikiness seeps out. What’s worse, Loosey isn’t capable of making it fun or funny the same way Mistress or Luxx often do. In addition, her drag persona means she’s often falling back into a sort of forceful pleasantness that can’t help but read as fake, if not mildly crazed.

Still, one can’t say she lacks self-awareness. Just look at this week’s mini-challenge.

NICK: Ru welcomes the final five with a game of Spill the T, hosted by Norvina, the current president of Anastasia Beverly Hills Cosmetics. Each queen has five paddles with their faces on it. Ru will give them a question - who thinks they’re the smartest, who makes you laugh the most - and the queens vote on who best fits the bill. If you’re with the majority, you win a point. Mistress is voted shadiest, hairiest, and most likely to steal your things, while Sasha’s voted most likely to steal your man. The scores are neck and neck going into the final question, worth a whopping five points. Who is going home next? 

It’s a doozy of a question . . . . or at least, it should be. It turns out the queens unanimously voted for Loosey La Duca, as the bitch picked herself so she could win the mini-challenge. That now brings her to what, six wins? Miss La Duca owns her choice as strategizing over sincerity, and it pays off big time, since she’ll get to assign the partners for this week’s challenge: makeover a teacher and turn her into a member of your drag family.

CLÁUDIO: If posed with that final question, I’d just pick every paddle but my own. Would it be a copout? Yes, but I stand by it. In any case, congrats to Loosey, now you get a chance to fuck with your frenemies.

Despite her apparent animosity toward Mistress, our mini-challenge champion is very kind to her Texan sister, pairing her with a delightful gal perfect to be transformed into another Brooks. Moreover, she’s kind to everyone, picking someone she can make into a clone for herself. Everyone but Miss Noir London, who genuinely seems rattled by Loosey’s strategic pick, denying her the only Black teacher despite Luxx being the only Black doll left. That being said, our beloved brat has nobody to blame but herself for her eventual demise. Moments after the partner selection, we can find each pair getting to know each other, with the queens taking time to make their teacher comfortable and endear themselves to the other women. Everyone’s having fun - everyone except Luxx.

NICK: It reminded me so much of Aquaria fumbling this same challenge on her season. Luxx isn’t wrong to sense sabotage, but it’s entirely on her shoulders that she fumbles. In the footage we see, she’s more focused on designing for Ms. Reyes than the woman herself, while the other four queens immediately start talking to their partner. Loosey instantly vibes with Mrs. Wallace, who has a lot of the same bubbly determination she does and an even more voluptuous figure. Anetra and Mrs. Mahoney bond over their shared ethnicities as half-Filipino half-white, and they decide to meet//. Sasha meets Mrs. March-Banks’ willingness to go all out by layering gigantic padding over her natural curves. Mistress connects to her teacher Ms. Tang, a high school art teacher, as a fellow queer Latina, confiding a lot about how important having an openly out teacher would have meant to her. Miss Tang quickly absorbs Mistress’ confidence and challenges Mrs. Wallace to a walk-off, which she definitely loses, but she takes it on with panache. Hell, even Ms. Reyes is clearly jazzed to be there.

What’s maybe most exciting is that the queens decide they’re going to make both their outfits from scratch. They’re building their daughters from the ground up, and that sort of personal touch could be life or death. Ru talks to all of the pairs before informing them that the teachers will also be lip-synching against each other to RuPaul’s “Champion” (though some might say the song is really Raja’s). Who knows if this will have any impact on the final judging, but it’s an opportunity for the girls to one-up each other, and moments like that can’t go to waste.

CLÁUDIO: It absolutely does not have any impact on the judging. If it did, we’d have a different winner and a very definite frontrunner going into the finale instead of what feels like a two-horse race. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Regarding the werkroom interactions and preparation for the main stage, it’s wonderful to see all the love between the cast and their teachers, Luxx aside. Indeed, every shot of Ms. Reyes sitting alone while everyone’s having fun paint a rather sad picture that I’m sure is being exaggerated for dramatic purposes. Nevertheless, I want to point out how important it is to treat your colleague as a creative partner rather than a prop in these kinds of makeover projects, especially since the producers tend to reward whoever has the best storyline out of the bunch.

On another level, the remaining queens were attuned to their teacher’s specific qualities and limitations, benefitting from this in the long game. You mentioned Sasha’s padding business with Mrs. March-Banks, but I’d also mention Loosey’s canniness, realizing she can see so much of herself in Mrs. Wallace, including someone who’ll do great wearing the Laduca mug. From shoes to garment silhouette, Mistress designs for Miss Tang as someone who knows what it’s like to perform drag in a larger body, while Anetra finds a middle point between her athleticism and Mrs. Mahoney’s unwieldiness in heels.

Had Luxx actually spent more time trying to figure out how to make Ms. Reyes into a London sister, she might have realized she had a Jennifer Coolidge drag lookalike on her hands. This could have opened doors to a thematic link instead of a strict resemblance, à la Crystal Methyd or Naomi Smalls on AS4. Imagine the teacher in hot pink with Luxx serving Elle Woods realness, maybe a resort lewk to recall The White Lotus.

NICK: I’ll co-sign all of that as we move into elimination day. The queens are putting their drag daughters in makeup, and it becomes a lovely series of heart-to-hearts and group commiserating. Anetra and Mrs. Mahoney bring up how different growing up is for kids these days and discuss if it’s possible for people to unlearn homophobia and transphobia. If kids can learn hatred, they can learn love too, and the two talk about really nurturing children who know they’re different. It’s a really thoughtful interaction, one that sums up the themes from Wigloose! as much as it does the stakes of this particular challenge.

Luxx also connects with Ms. Reyes in a very real way she seemingly hasn’t until now, as she opens up about her parents not initially accepting her when she came out. She admits she was partially confused by this because her parents aren’t religious, and Ms. Reyes says that she’s completely stopped going to church because the faith does not accept her children. It turns out all of her kids are one flavor of queer or another, and Luxx is moved to learn her teacher stood up for her children in such a powerful way. She’s proud to have creative control for such a lovely woman, and plans to make Ms. Reyes’ drag debut as stunning as she can.

The girls also bring up track records and different kinds of lingo. Loosey trots out her mini-challenge wins along with her maxis, which gags Anetra, and talks about how “gather the girls” means very different things for queers and for suburban moms. Everyone’s throwing shade at the mugs on each other’s drag daughters while feeling very confident in their own chances. The room is far too excited for elimination day, and give or take the evident unease of Ms. Reyes, no one’s really giving weakness in the werkroom.

Soon, the lights dim, and it’s time to walk the runway. RuPaul makes her entrance in a yellow, tartan Heathers moment that season 15’s secret frontrunner Irene DuBois described as “totally Jax-pilled.” Michelle Visage sports a very low cut black top with earrings from Green Hill Zone, while the hilarious Ross Mathews is wearing a purple sweater top with so much gold glitter you can barely see the foundational fabric underneath. Our special guest judge is Hayley Kiyoko, renowned pop superstar, actress, ans a Celebrity Drag Race season one winner. She’s also best dressed of the judge’s panel, in a blue-and-black sequined suit jacket with all her hair just flowing down to her midriff. Gorgeous. 

CLÁUDIO: First up, we have Sasha Colby and Ferocity Colby - hey, Kerri, you have a new sister! Let’s be honest, they look amazing and amazingly hot, twisting a tropical pink fantasy with exaggerated padding. While not reaching Nina Bo’nina Brown levels of curvaceousness, these bitches are serving hourglass realness like nobody’s business. My only quibble is that Ferocity’s dragged-out bust could do with more support. It’s sitting a bit too low. Beyond that, sheer perfection.

NICK: They look like they’re an extension of the resort wear line Sasha wore for the first design challenge, and they look fabulous. Agreed on the bust, but it feels relatively minor compared to how well they match in look and spirit. Sasha putting on padding made this as much a show of new skills acquired for her as it was for her drag daughter, but they both walk the stage with such comfort and sensuality. Ferocity’s a dream up there.

Up next is Loosey and LaLa LaDuca, better known as Jaymes Mansfield. Maybe this is just me not enjoying the way Loosey paints her lips, but seeing her mug so directly transplanted onto this woman’s face doesn’t look polished. Otherwise, this reads like an inoffensive cloning situation, with some swapped colors and a shoe critique from Ross so lame I can’t care (go see footage of  Anetra, Mistress, and Salina at Roscoe’s to see how much of a reach that critique was). I know you have feelings about the fabric, Cláudio, so let’s get into that.

CLÁUDIO: Here’s the thing, Loosey’s performance in this episode was perfectly safe. However, her outrage at being placed in the bottom after having created these outfits from scratch bothered me a bit. They are solidly built, but they’re also ugly as fuck, with the print doing nothing to highlight the LaDuca silhouette. The repetition of the motif feels sloppily patterned, cut with no thought to how it would all match up. The random trim also bugs.

Mistress Isabelle Brooks and Madame Thang, in comparison, wear fairly simple outfits in forgiving stretch velvet. However, all the styling choices achieve a bold impact, aiming for old-school drag with a touch of Mae West. I love that the queen gave her partner the better wig and longer boa, allowing her to be the focus without looking shabby herself. Like with Sasha, I have some minor quibbles. The Isabelle Brooks rounded cut crease is sorely missed and that blonde unit needs some attention. Still, I love them, and they had the best runway presentation. 

NICK: You’re right to emphasize how Mistress highlights their figures. They look excellent, more like two distinct spins on the same recipe rather than the alt-video game skin realness Kameron Michaels brought to this challenge. I wonder if the Ursula brow might be a bit severe for a debut, but Madame Thang works it as hard as she does her all-black ensemble. And that look over her shoulder at the end is worth the whole challenge.

Luxx Noir London and Asia Azul come next, and it’s so clearly the worst look of the night it almost hurts. The conjoint flavors of peach on both looks tie Asia to Luxx without any corresponding dynamic in construction or color to actually connect Luxx to her drag daughter, save for the blue of her eyeshadow matching Asia’s blue. I don’t like how flat Asia’s wig is, or those awful shoes. She’s beaming the whole time, but it’s more in spite of how well she’s styled and coached than because of it.

CLÁUDIO: Luxx shows the limits of her fashion knowledge, confirming she only actually knows how to dress her body. This thing’s a disaster from top to bottom, from flat wig to a too-short hem that reveals a pair of shoes that are just…so wrong with the outfit. 

Miss London tried to replicate her House of Visage cape moment, but she fails to adjust the cut for a different body, where more fabric will be needed to achieve the same drape. Notice how the material is too thin to hide the foundation underneath, something Luxx didn’t consider perhaps because she never actually makes use of such garments. Even so, the bitch surely knew a short cincher wouldn’t offer enough support and that Asia would need to wear some type of bra. Why then, is the neckline cut like that, exposing the dropped straps? Maybe if she hadn’t hung the dress on those skinny little pieces of braided fabric that wouldn’t have been an issue. 

Overall, it shows a lack of consideration for who she’s dressing, nothing meanspirited but dispiriting nonetheless. Also, for what’s worth, Luxx doesn’t look particularly great here, that metallic belt out of place between the panty and what someone more generous than me would call a top.

Anetra and Alektra are all about balance, sporting a yin-yang variation in bright fuchsia and what Ross described as wrist foreskins. The symmetry is nice enough, and the height difference offers a fun dynamic - the teacher looks like chibi Anetra! - though I can’t say I’m as wowed as the judges were. Kudos to the Vegas queen who, like Mistress, made her partner the star.

NICK: I can’t get over how the teacher has the same head shape as Heidi N Closet. Have them mix and match color combos for the runway. They do a good job, and clearly Anetra instilled Alektra with all her showgirl spunk (that sounds so wrong), but I agree that it’s not a huge feat for me. I’m glad Alektra got the better wig.

The judges offer their critiques. Sasha, Mistress, and Anetra are the clear tops of the week. All three are praised for achieving a real drag family resemblance in the style and attitude their daughters exhibited on the runway. Loosey gets mostly positive responses alongside a bullshit critique from Michelle about not having stage presence with LaLa. Luxx is rightly criticized for not building any family resemblance with her teacher, and it’s impressive that the judges are able to do this without indirectly insulting Ms. Reyes. Luxx’s critiques are no surprise, but I’m surprised they didn’t have anything better to say to Loosey. Not one comment about the outfit?

Also, they had the teachers lip sync, and Ferocity won that, right? Alektra threw a lot of stuff out there, and Asia had a goddamn ball, but Ferocity, man. Ferocity.

CLÁUDIO: Ferocity won that, hands down. Bring her back for All-Stars, I say, if not as a contestant then as a lip-sync assassin.

Still, that little victory is unofficial, and the episode’s true winner is revealed as Anetra. She’s now tied with Sasha, each having won three maxi-challenges - our frontrunners for the crown. Personally, I would have given this to Mistress, but the judges’ choice isn’t too outrageous. Indeed, Sasha, Anetra, and Mistress could have tied for a triple victory, and I would still call it fair. Not that Loosey’s bad, mind you, but at this point in the competition, what she’s giving is not enough. Sucks to land in the bottom two weeks in a row while delivering solid work, but at least she’s not Drag Race UK’s Tayce who somehow lip-synched four times despite only doing badly in one challenge all season.

NICK: Either Ferocity’s confidence makes me give this to Sasha or her non-perky bust tilts me towards Mistress. Right now I’m leaning towards the former, though it would’ve been nice to see Mistress rack up a second win going into the finale. I would have taken either of them over Anetra.

Either way, it’s Loosey LaDuca vs Luxx Noir London in this week’s LSFYL. The song is “For the Girls” by Hayley Kiyoko, and though it’s Loosey’s best lip sync of the season, Luxx cinches this win pretty easily.

Loosey does a decent job of grooving to Kiyoko’s extended coos and poppy intimacy, but she’s still too stiff to fully execute that cartwheel. On the other side of that coin, Luxx is just ridiculously fluid. She’s throwing all sorts of movement at this song - whipping her hair, prancing across the stage, jumping in front of Loosey, whatever the fuck she does when she slides backward on her hands and knees while throwing her head around. It might be too much, thrown a bit too indiscriminately, but she’s tapping into the song’s vibrancy with kinetic abandon, and she looks hot as fuck.

CLÁUDIO: Luxx comes to the verge of doing too much, but it’s still a decisive victory against Loosey. Now, to be fair, LaDuca let loose, so it’s not like this was some outright assassination. Overall, we can say this was a good moment to bid Loosey adieu, finishing on a high note rather than the alternative. And yet, as understandable as her feelings are, using her confessional to take aim at Mistress isn’t a good look. Maybe I’d feel different if that big bitch wasn’t my winner, but here we are. Like Matron BFA, I too can be petty. Hopefully, the fandom isn’t too mean, and she can get some Rudemption in a future All-Stars season. 

Next week, the preview promises a final elimination before we go to the finale with a top 3. At this point, I don’t know if they’re not bluffing but, either way, I’d be careful if I was Mistress. You’re in danger girl. 

NICK: Honestly, the biggest gag would be to send off Anetra after her sudden ascension, but I agree that Mistress would be the one to worry about if they’re not pulling punches. Sasha’s not going anywhere, that’s for damn sure.

Previous RuCaps:

• Episodes 1 & 2: "One Night Only"
• Episode 3: "All Queens Go to Heaven"
• Episode 4: "Snatch Game"
• Episode 5: "House of Fashion"
• Episode 6: "Old Friends Gold"
• Episode 7: "The Daytona Wind 2"
• Episode 8: "LipSync LaLaPaRUza Smackdown"
• Episode 9: "The Crystal Ball"
• Episode 10: "50/50 Most Gagworthy Stars"
• Episode 11: "Two Queens, One Joke"
• Episode 12: "Wigloose: The Rusical!"

Comments

[Sad Man]

The problem with Loosey is that she takes herself way too seriously and she's never in on the joke, by her own will. She was the right person to send home.

This is the first episode I feel Sasha deserved the win.

My top 2 are MIB and Anetra.

[Charlie G]

Completely agree that Loosey takes herself too seriously - and seriously, those outfits were U-G-L-Y. Fine with her going home. Mistress and Luxx were kind of ganging up on Loosey - and, for a show that has a lot of anti-bullying talk, the discussions and the editing kind of skirted the line. Assuming there really is a final 3, when the producers view this footage back, I would think Luxx or Mistress go home next. As long as Anetra or Sasha wins, I'm good.

Am I the only one feeling like we need more time between seasons? I feel like so many of the contestants now come in kind of canned, overly polished, looking and acting exactly like some other contestant from the past. That whole episode of Untucked where they sat there and praise each other made me want to vomit. I wonder if a little more time between seasons might allow for better casting. Also, might be time for some newer judges. MIchelle Visage has a little too much sway over the contestants. I wouldn't hate it if she took a season or two off. And I have never seen the point of Ross.

[whunk (he/him)]

Funniest thing is...Loosey's outfits got top Toot of the week on Fashion Photo Ruview. I didn't think they were bad at all, though I agree we've seen Loosey's drag before in general. Though honestly I could say the same about Luxx's.