Previously on red carpet lineup Nathaniel and Jose discussed Cannes gowns and Kurt and Nathaniel chatted about the annual Met Gala. In today's episode, Nathaniel and Jose discuss the MTV Movie Awards fashion.
Nathaniel: This time we're starting a bit "off cinema" -- although calling the MTV Movie Awards cinema related is a stretch -- for a brief look at the CDFA Awards held this week in New York City.
Lady Gaga, Lady Watts, Lady Sevigny, Housewife Marcia
Jose: Wait, is that the thing where Gaga is? I assumed this lineup was the MTV awards too. Ha. I obviously missed both ceremonies
Nathaniel: Yep. The Council of Fashion Designers honored the industry's biggest designers as is their habit. But they also gave an award to Lady Gaga. Isn't giving Gaga a fashion award kind of like giving Angelina Jolie a Fame Award. Like...
"Congratulations: You are You!!!"
Jose: She should receive fashion awards at the Cattle Salesman Council, not the fashion council.
She's always so coy about it, like "oh, you think I'm special?", I hate that. Despite my love of McQueen I personally think that you should be able to "wear" fashion and these awards should go to people who encourage that
Nathaniel: I hesitated to include Gaga in the Lineup o Actresses because lord knows the woman CANNOT act (see: music videos and SNL). I wish so bad that she'd make a movie because people would finally stop kicking Madonna for her shaky thespian tendencies. But I have a larger point to make.
Which is that if you're attending such a thing, shouldn't you do what Chloe Sevigny and Marcia Cross are doing and NOT what Naomi Watts is doing? Something eyepopping or you might as well be wallpaper.
Jose: To be honest, I'd rather have my Naomi fix in this wallflower-ish type, cause she's made some hideous choices in the past. Remember that dress she wore to the Oscars that made her look like King Kong had recently attacked her? This is careless copying, though. This is essentially what Gwynnie wore to the Oscars this year, but short and shapeless.
Nathaniel: And bland. Here's the thing with blond actresses that are not particularly unusually eye-popping in some way. They're like grains of sand on the beach. There are millions of others with whom you are indistinguishable unless you're giving it a little something extra. Naomi overcompensates onscreen sometimes by ACTING but undercompensates on the red carpet.
Jose: I say let's pull a Freaky Friday on Gaga and Naomi.
Nathaniel: !!! Wonderful idea.
Jose: Gaga looking human would be more surprising than anything else.
Nathaniel: Totes. I keep waiting for her to have her own "Live to Tell" moment where suddenly she's just in a simple flowery dress with pretty hair. That was SO shocking at the time for Madonna. That's got to happen eventually.
Jose: I'd love to see what she wore when she was just plain old "Gaga from the block", even Madge is down to earth now (in Louis Vuitton of course)
Nathaniel: I like that Chloe's top feels rubbery and sentient and winged... I suddenly picture her as Professor X's love Empress Lilandra of the Shi'Ar but I have mutants on the brain.
Jose: That makes total sense. She wouldn't even need CGI to display weird powers.
Lilandra and Dazzler of late 70s/early 80s X-Men fame
Nathaniel: Heh. I know I've said this very recently in another red carpet post but everyone is conspiring to make me think of 70s DAZZLER from the X-Men lately.
Jose: Marcia looks stunning. I'm pretty sure she's looked the same since the 70's, maybe she's a mutant herself.
Nathaniel: These sparkly disco jumpsuits! There needs to be an X-Men Origins: Dazzler movie to fully bring back the 1970s. Fashion is trying to take us there anyway.
Jose: And I'd love to see Cross in a catfight with Jennifer Lawrence. I say, let's put 'em all in rollerskates and have ourselves a Xanadu-Men: First Class!
Nathaniel: Damnit. Now I have to go masturbate.
Jose: LOL. It's too early for that here.
Nathaniel: Self-love knows no time zones! Speaking of masturbatory.... let's move on to the MTV Twilight Awards.
Jose: Ew, fine.
Nathaniel: This first lineup of lovely ladies demonstrates to us that it's A) summer at last B) short skirts are in.
Emma Watson, Mini-Dakota, Emma Stone, KStew, Queen Reese
Jose: I remember the time when the fine people of the planet voted for movies like Scream and Lord of the Rings in those awards, heck they even gave Nicole Kidman a trophy for Moulin Rouge! when Oscar ignored her
Nathaniel: I was just talking about this to a friend yesterday at lunch. You sound like an old curmudgeon when you say: back in my day they used to vote for good movies! but in this case it's not nostalgia, it's plain-ass facts.
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Wednesday, June 8, 2011 at 10:20AM 
Superheroes and their phalluses. I swear.Quick Pet Peeve: I haven't seen it yet but why is Hal Jordan so unimaginative with his power ring in Green Lantern? I mean, you can create anything with it so you're just going to make a machine gun? Dullzzz-ville. Is this going to be like that time when vampires and werewolves were suddenly fighting with guns, draining them of all their supernatural mojo?
