Expecto Linkonus

JK Rowling hugs her child stars, all grown up.Since some of you Potterheads (Potterphiles?) haven't been too pleased with my flippancy about the world's most beloved film series I thought I should point out these neat morphs over at MSNBC which allow you to watch Harry, Hermione and Ron age up whilst Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint contemplate their goodbyes in voiceover.

It even got to me and I am no fan of the series. Because really... when something gets as huge as Harry Potter does it ends up being the culture and this is ten years of all of our lives that we're now saying goodbye to. We're all ten years older... *gulp*. It's just some of us are more eager to move on than others ;) MSNBC Movies is naturally devoting a lot of attention to this moment when "It All Ends."

OLDBOY. But why remake it?Links
Twitch just when we were beginning to wonder if Spike Lee would ever make a movie again he signs on for two. He'll direct the remake of Oldboy but first he'll recreate his character "Mookie" for his new joint Red Hook Summer. So little Spike and then a lot of it. Who knew?
Grantland on "The 'Poor Jen' Problem". Molly Lambert is like my new favorite essayist this month.
IndieWire in 'this is very cool' news AMPAS has announced a partnership with the Alama Drafthouse to preserve it's always awesome retrospective film posters.
Movie|Line wishes for Helena Bonham Carter to never stop with the personal uninhibited awesomeness. Like admitting she peed herself while shooting Harry Potter.
IGN the DVD Blu Ray release of Thor will include a sneak peak at The Avengers. This should surprise virtually no one. 

Finally...
Let's end with a "5 Second Film" starring Juliette Lewis.

p.s. that's exactly what I scream when I see Juliette Lewis only I run *towards* her. In case you missed my interview with her last fall -- she was awesome -- that was here.

I Am Number Four's Power Apps

Have any of you seen I Am Number Four? In a brain dead mood -- it's summer, it happens -- it was watched right here. At first I thought I might write up a whole review. Its jumbled five or six films in one chaos might be worth savaging as it continually reveals itself as a member of the  "we're making this shit up as we go along!" school of storytelling. Pettyfer is number four of a race of escapee aliens who are being hunted on Earth by their old nemesis and they're being killed in numerical order. I'll give you one guess as to how many of them are already dead.

Number three is dead.

Good guess!

I knew nothing about I Am Number Four's origins but immediately assumed it was based on a comic or graphic novel due to its continual expository mythology. All this for one stand alone feature? It must have fuller origins elsewhere. 

But in the end the movie is too disposable and harmless to be mean to. So let's just focus on the troublesome pet peeve: Alex Pettyfer's Magic Hands.

Pettyfer knows he's an alien and he knows he's number four but he doesn't actually understand his own powers yet and strange things keep happening to his body, like pulsing blue light from his hands. Pettyfer is a bit too, um, well-developed for I Am Number Four to double property as a puberty metaphor but it seems to be trying anyway. Once he starts using those hands his powers seem limitless. His hands are always ready with some solution: lock-picking, energy blasts, heat generation, super strength, you name it. At one point when he just decides to use them as flashlights in a dark room where key exposition secrets are hidden we had to add our own dialogue from the couch: "I've got an app for that, too!"

There's just nothing those mitts can't do.

Note to all filmmakers of this and Green Lantern and anyone taking on any future heroes with undefined powers: it doesn't work. If your hero's gifts are never defined there are no stakes. You can't push them to their limits for a dramatic climax if you've never given any indication that they have any. Think it over. 

Box Office: Dark of the Horrible Zookeeper's Moon

I've got those whirling clanking gear-spinning metallic vibration noises clogging my brain today. Thanks a lot Greg P. Russell! ;) The 14 time Oscar nominated mixer had another epic job to perform with Transformers Dark of the Moon and how. Will he finally win the Oscar? Stay tuned.

Yes, readers I did see the latest Michael Bay spectacle. After that shot of glossy violent shot of testosterone I watched Far From Heaven and The Lady Eve back to back as schizophrenic counter-balance.  What did you see this weekend?

Weekend Box-Office (Estimates)
figures via box office mojo

01 TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON new $47.1 (cum. $261)
02 HORRIBLE BOSSES new $28.3
03 ZOOKEEPER new $20 
04 CARS 2  $15.2 (cum. $148.8)
05 BAD TEACHER $8.9 (cum. $78.6)


Nation Somehow Failed To Predict Attack By Michael Bay


06 LARRY CROWNE  $5.9 (cum. $26.1)
07 SUPER 8 $4.8 [thoughts] (cum. $118)
08 MONTE CARLO $3.8 (cum. $16.1)
09 GREEN LANTERN $3.1 [review] (cum. $109.7)
09 MR POPPER'S PENGUINS $3.1 (cum. $58)

Number two, bitch.Talking Points: Transformers is now the top US hit of 2011, outgrossing The Hangover Part 2 and Pirates of the Caribbean Part Another One. Worldwide grosses paint a different surprising picture of the film year with Pirates way out front of everything having grossed a billion dollars and Fast Five the second biggest hit of the year with over half a billion. I did not know this. Everyone loves action movies starring cars I guess. But regardless of how you count beans it's a sequel world out there. It's shocking when anything original breaks through.

Meanwhile Bridesmaids and Midnight in Paris, which had both been hanging on to the top ten despite being two months old (the box office equivalent of senior citizens) finally slipped out. Even though they're losing theaters each week they still have tinier percentile drops than any other pictures indicating that word of mouth continues to draw in the curious... or maybe repeat visitors? 

First and Last, On Our Own

the first and last images from a motion picture.

and the first and last lines (both in voiceover) for another clue.

first: look at yourselves...
last: It appears, at least for now, that we are on our own. 

Can you guess the movie? Check your work after the jump

Click to read more ...

"The Link! The Link!"

My New Plaid Pants Meet Brienne, who'll be very important on Game of Thrones. Eventually.
Critical Condition asks what it will take to get Ewan McGregor an Oscar nomination? We've been asking this for years. He ought to have at least two by now (Moulin Rouge! and Trainspotting)
Tom Shone makes a sound ExPat confession about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. Heh.
Frankly My Dear remembers Richard Linklater's Slacker for its 20th.
Pajiba Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones) will play Hervé "the plane! the plane!" Villechaize in the biographical My Dinner With Hervé. Like Pajiba I don't see a resemblance at all but Dinklage is a great actor so we wish him all the best in the role.
Sunset Gun recommends Over the Edge with Matt Dillon as a great time capsule and timeless rebellion teen film. I haven't seen this one but I'm now intrigued.
PopMatters I'm not going anywhere near Zookeeper but I'm finding the reviews somewhat interesting in a staring through thick glass kind of way. This one wonders which voice actor has the worst job in the film. That's a good question! 

Several blogs have been noting the revision of the Straw Dogs poster -- the original version is to your right where Alexander Skarsgård is mysteriously inside of or ramming into James Marsden's eye (ouch!) rather than reflected in his glasses. Poster design is so half-assed these days, right? It looks much better (to your left) now all black and white and reflected. BUT while they were revising shouldn't they have come up with their own design rather than just recreating the original poster from the 70s Dustin Hoffman film?

Poster design is just so frustrating in Hollywood. The internet reminds us every single day --  and usually several times an hour -- that there are abundant graphic artists out there with the talent to make this another golden age of movie poster design and it just never quite happens. Hollywood, which runs on images, doesn't trust the visual literacy of its clients.

Maybe they shouldn't. I mean I'm sure you've all heard someone look at the rare illustrated movie poster and say "is that a cartoon?" but it's still sad-making.