Live Blog Golden Globe Arrivals

6:09 Hi everyone! Another day in January, another punishing celebratory live blog. So far we've seen three dresses and I've already forgotten the names of the women who wore them. But for Olivia Wilde in a frankly enormous sparkly princess ball gown. E! Used their 360˚ Glam Cam on her and I swear she almost started singing a Disney "I Want" song as the camera spun round. Ryan Seacrest, whilst asking about the dresses, already felt the need to remind us that he was a man. If you need to remind us...

6:13 I hate the term "Baby Bump." It's not like these women are snorting teeny lines of cocaine or need their roads repaved.

6:16 They're showing Natalie Portman commercials mere minutes after showing flashbacks of her on other red carpets and after saying her name 31 times. This program is sponsored by Natalie Portman. (Aside: Um, there's an UP joke in No Strings Attached?!? Weird)

6:20 Inauspicious beginnings. Jennifer Love Hewitt as the first major interview?  Ryan Seacrest is talking about stepping on someones dress "Get Off My Dress" he says replaying the scene. I'm glad he didn't slip and say "Get Out Of My Dress."

6:36 Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men) is doing The Children's Hour with Kiera Knightley!? How is this the first I'm hearing of this? Which one plays the lesbian?

6:40 Seacrest just talked to Diana Agron which IMMEDIATELY made me flash back to Glenn's highlarious review of Burlesque in which he writes

Kristen Bell pops up occasionally, too, whenever the plot demands someone to scoff and scowl. And then Diana Agron of Glee appears momentary in a role so brief I can’t believe Andre Braugher wasn’t cast.

LOL. I'm still giggling about that one days later.

6:43 I wrote a drinking game for Towleroad Friday and if you are already playing it, God help you, but also: you've had to drink thrice (Three closeted gays already!)

6:44 "From this vantage point Natalie Portman looks stunning" That may be the most redundant sentence of all time.

6:49 Wait FOUR closet-cases already tonight? They're out in force.

6:53 Behold HELENA BONHAM-CARTER's shoes.

Helena Bonham-Carter's shoes

To quote PopWrap

Helena Bonham Carter's dress is 100% Helena Bonham Carter... #IGotYourCrazy

6:57 They are showing Lea Michele what she wore last year. Wouldn't you be horrified if someone showed you what you were wearing last year? I'm pretty sure I was clothed... at least. But I don't want a flashback.

7:02 I got lost in a PortmanHole.

Where am I. It's like all I can hear is her name. Her name is becoming ambient noise. Or like a droning suggestive trance. I love Natalie but if she suddenly starts talking about being a girl from a trailer park with a dream it'll be me having a psychotic break

7:11 I got so trapped in the Portmania that I forgot to mention that Ryan Seacrest just couldn't stop talking about asking Jake Gyllenhaal about  nudity in Love and Other Drugs. Naked Jake is to Love and Other Drugs was  Natalie Portman is to awards season. It's all anyone can talk about.

7:12 NICOLE KIDMAN on Rabbit Hole and reminding us that we're glad she married Keith Urban.

Nicole: He was the one that nudged me out of the nest.
Keith: It's important for Nicole to tell certain stories.

That it is.

7:13 I am so horrified that every MOVIE awards show is obsessed with teenage MUSIC stars that have nothing to do with movies.

7:18 Oh, I feel terrible for good filmmakers (Hi, Derek Cianfrance of Blue Valentine) when they try to discuss the fine points of their film on the red carpet. It just never works. Ryan Seacrest is not Charlie Rose.

<--- Speaking of roses... Natalie's

THE HORROR THE HORROR

That's going to give me appliqué nightmares. It's a special subsection of nightmares that one sometimes has, doesn't one?

7:26 This is moving so quickly that I have already missed talking about the two Janes. And Catherine Zeta Jones and the Movie Star She Sleeps With.

7:28 Angelina Jolie arrives in GREEN and suddenly every other star wearing green (and there are a lot of them) is probably mortified because, really, who can compete with Angelina. I mean besides Margaret Hamilton and her beautiful wickedness. I didn't get a photo, damnit.

7:33 Sandra Bullock's bangs.

Remember that scene in Edward Scissorhands where Edward sits with the dogs and performs one little snip for the sake of the dog's vision? ...That.

7:42 Halle Berry is wearing something that I think Demi Moore may have designed for her. (Sorry 80s joke. You are all too young for that joke).

And Michelle Williams was running late so she just wrapped her shower curtain around herself. Short hair is so easy. You can just shower and go!

7:45 Anne Hathaway's copper sequins -- she just called them CDs are as large as her vavavoom.

7:47 Megan Fox. Please do not wear a center slit while wearing pink. It's just... I just...it's...

Now might be the time to tell you that I hate when they ask people "WHO ARE YOU WEARING" Because it always makes me think of Buffalo Bill.

Q: Who are you wearing Jamie?

Silence of the Lamb's Jamie Gumm

A: "Uh.... a great big fat person."

I don't know how to follow that up. I am so sorry.

7:55 January Jones. Ryan Seacrest calls Matthew Weiner January's "creator" ... that didn't come out right. Maybe January does.not.exist.

7: 57 Olivia Wilde has now been on the red carpet for 2 HOURS. That's some dedication to your own camera whoredom!

7:58 Okay the show is about to start. We need to start a new post. This is so long but how cute that Tilda Swinton and Helen Mirren were hugging.

GROUP HUG!!!
okay, we're going to start a new post for the show itself.

Natalie Portman and Rooney Mara TOPLESS !

What? I was feeling jealous of everyone else's sensationalist headlines. It's weblag from that NYFCC brouhaha and that 'lazy journalism' Jacki Weaver was talking about in our interview. So, 'bout that headline. Define Topless. We're most concerned with definition #3...

...although we suspect most actresses would like us to use the obsolete definition, #5.

Ubiquitous NATALIE PORTMAN found that she just wasn't making enough bank this year from Black Swan or her four, yes four, 2011 features. Also, the covers of every magazine weren't enough now and won't be enough when she wins the Oscar and still won't be enough this summer when she gives birth either. So now you can find her photos inbetween the reams and reams of magazine articles about her as as she hawks Christian Dior's cosmetics and perfumes. Here she is posing for Miss Dior. 

Her children's children's children will have their trust funds all insured by the end of 2011. Also: many trees will die in her honor.

For what it's worth she's more naked in Wes Anderson's Hotel Chevalier (2007) than she'll ever be in a magazine and it's a damn good miniature performance, too.

Meanwhile...

W Magazine has a whole slide show featuring ROONEY MARA as Lisbeth Salander for David Fincher's The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011).

Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander

The photos are pretty amazing though we're still not crazy about that Millenium Trilogy in concept and apart from the money and that unbreakable serial killer obsessions of David Fincher's, we're still not sure why he's doing it. Especially since you know he's not going to actually make the sequels.

Rooney... remember how much she did with just three scenes in The Social Network? Imagine what she might do over the course of two hours!

Will Natalie Portman be this year's Eddie Murphy?

No strings, NorbitKurt here from Your Movie Buddy, not happy to have found a link between two otherwise un-linkable actors. The more promo material I see for Natalie Portman's considerable 2011 output – trailers for Your Highness and Thor, posters for The Other Woman, constant TV spots for No Strings Attached (not to be confused with fellow ballerina Mila Kunis's Friends with Benefits) – the more my heart sinks. It takes you back to 2006, when Eddie Murphy all but had the Supporting Actor Oscar on his mantle for his work in Dreamgirls, then saw his dreams shattered by the inescapable marketing campaign for Norbit.

 Some may argue that Little Miss Sunshine's Alan Arkin, with his endearing character and veteran status, had the upset in the bag, but comeback kid Murphy was the frontrunner. I'm of the firm belief that he did himself in by putting the awful taste of Norbit in voter's mouths. Portman's upcoming offerings can't rival the, shall we say, uncouthness of Murphy in a scantily-clad female fat suit, but none of them look too promising, either, least of all No Strings Attached. Is it such a stretch to think the Best Actress hopeful may become the victim of her own Norbit effect?

After all, Portman finds herself in a much more precarious position than Murphy did...

Her category's field of contenders (and eventual nominees) is leagues stronger than Murphy's was, and she also faces a far more formidable and voter-friendly vet than he did. Unless I'm mistaken, and have misread the mood in the air, Portman's precursor lead – and additional off-screen attractors like pregnancy – have done little to change the fact that she's in a head-to-head with Annette Bening. Despite the awesome power of her Swan performance, an unappealing 2011 slate could be just the thing to sway voters to select her long-overdue rival.

one of many Swan premieres

Or, maybe not.

Maybe Portman's 2011 ubiquity is instead just another thing to give her yet more of an edge. As an educated, gifted and especially comely actress whom Hollywood has loved since childhood, she may only benefit from flashing her pretty face all over the place. Rather than recoiling, voters may just smile and say, “ah, yes, there she is again...sweet girl.”

What, if anything, do you make of this? Could Portman have clipped her own wings?