Noah Has Some Explaning To Do

Darren Aronofksy's Noah, which opens on March 28th, is expected to open well and is now getting rapturous advance praise with weirdly common references to The Fountain because it's "polarizing" and yet no one is saying they hate it, so, um try again! You have to have both love and hate for something to be called polarizing, duh.

I have been worried about it, just like Michael, but I'm excited now.

But if there isn't a scene where Noah apologizes for leaving The Last Unicorns behind, I'mma be pissed. 

related
Yes, No, Maybe So - JA on the trailer
Aronofsky's Familiar Faces - Mark Margolis and Gregg Bello are both in Noah - Are any of the Aronofsky's other preferred ensemble players?

Amir's Most Anticipated, 2014

Amir here, taking a break from the relentless torrent of lists, think pieces and twitter catfights about everything 2013 to look ahead at the new year.

Making a list of the year’s most anticipated films is always a risky task and there’s little payoff in raising one’s expectations of any film. Predictably so, there isn’t always overlap between what we anticipate and what we actually like when the final product materializes on the screen, but that’s the beauty of the whole thing. There will undoubtedly be disappointments, but in their stead, there will also be pleasant surprises. Of the films that shaped my lineup last year, only three ended up among my top 25 films of the year, but at this moment a year ago, I hadn’t even heard of something like Museum Hours or The Broken Circle Breakdown.

10 Noah (Darren Aronofsky)
Because: the director. The director, I say! The trailer for this biblical epic was mostly disappointing. The CGI looked unconvincing, the dialogue was gratingly cheesy and, as a non-religious man, I find the basic premise of this oft-told story laughable. But who am I kidding? I’m still going to be there on opening day. Darren Aronofsky has (almost) never disappointed and something tells me he’ll find an interesting angle on the most famous of all tales. Plus, I have a fondness for Russell Crowe few can match.

Nine more possible great ones after the jump...

Click to read more ...

Yes No Maybe So - Noah

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JA from MNPP here, taking a look at the first trailer for Darren Aronofsky's bible-epic Noah, giving us the titular tale of one man, one god, two of every animal, and a whole bunch of water. There have been whispers of a battle between the studio and the director over the film's tone - they want it to play straight for the church crowds and that Passion of the Christ money, while Darren Aronofsky, well, is Darren Aronofsky, and I think he probably doesn't have a lot of interest in not complicating Ye Olde Tale a little bit. Well now we've got an inkling, two and a half minutes of inkling, what's what.

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So let's break that sucker down into Nat's patented three-tiered system.

YES

-- Darren Aronofsky, of course - I might be more pro-Aronofsky than a lot of you, so perhaps you should take my opinion on this knowing that fact; I've loved deep in my bones every single film he's made (yes including The Fountain). His last film Black Swan might be my favorite even, but it was shamelessly playing right to my wheel-house so I could hardly help myself.

-- Emma Watson and Logan Lerman reunited! Let's hope they stick their heads out of the sunroof of the Ark while a David Bowie song plays.

-- You can already see the magic touch of Matthew Libatique all over it - some of that quick flashing nature photography is stunning. Speaking of...

-- Whatever this guy is! He's a big creepy plus. Do you think he's supposed to be Satan in the Garden? There's also a flash of an apple being picked, so I think I might be onto something. Anyway I hope there are all kinds of fanciful creatures mixed in with the usual elephants and giraffes and zebras we see in Noah stories.

-- The flaming sword scorching the Earth is kick ass!

NO

-- The CG animal stampede is kind of cheesy here in our first glimpse of it. Of course I don't know how you play that without it coming off cheesy. Hopefully by the time the movie's out in March they'll have made the CG a little bit more convincing, at least.

-- Similarly that shot of the Ark rocking in the waves at the end is some 2012 slash The Perfect Storm cheese. And way to give away the ending!

-- The fight scenes all look really monochromatic and good god we've seen that enough by now haven't we?

-- I never thought I'd be sick of Anthony Hopkins, but I'm sick of Anthony Hopkins.

MAYBE SO

-- Jennifer Connolly hasn't worked with Aronofsky since she gave that wonderful performance in Requiem For a Dream, which kind of kicked off her serious career. (Hey I love Labyrinth as much as the next guy.) - let's hope that the role of Noah's Wife is more than just the noble suffering "I'm With Stupid tee-shirt" role and she's got something to play. I've missed her lately.

-- I'm not the world's biggest Russell Crowe fan, and it's obvious that the studio wants us to think this is Gladiator 2: God's On His Side Now, but he looks pretty commanding with that shaved head and beard inside a tasteful yet butch rough-hewn cotton ensemble, and I'll admit, he's pretty perfect for the part.

So what say you people? Will you be boarding the ship with Darren and company on March 28th 2014, or are you feeling agnostic about this storm?
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Two (Links) of Every Kind

Directors
Empire Darren Aronofsky's Noah is having post-production / test screening trouble. Duh! Like evangelicals would love Black Swan or Requiem or or or 
Huffington Post has a candid interview with Alan Taylor the director of Thor: The Dark World. Apparently there's a shit ton of exposition in the movie. I wish it wasn't locked yet because cut cut cut  

Actor
Vulture I would have done so much better on this Brad Pitt Hair Quiz (I scored 11/15) if it was about which girlfriend he was imitating with which red carpet look
EW I was thinking Emile Hirsch was getting a little pudgy recently... now he's putting it to (potentially) good use: he's signed to star in a John Belushi biopic. Guess he'd like to get a little closer to Oscar than he got with Into the Wild

Actresses
Backstage remembers Penélope Cruz's brilliant career makeover in Volver  
Cinema Blend Noomi Rapace taking on seven roles in sci fi flick What Ever Happened to Monday? This is totally messing with my plans to continue being uninterested in her.

Bests & Worsts
IndieWire stands up for 10 actresses that are running in longshot position for year-end honors
Salon calls The Counselor "The Worst Movie Ever Made"  

LGBT
Guardian marketing gay films for straight people
Queerty has a two parter on the most realistic gay sex scenes on film

Friends
Nicks Flick Picks does his usual "anticipation" post set to diva beats. These are always amazing to return to for updates
My New Plaid Pants wraps up his amazing "13 Snakes of Halloween series. You need to watch them slithe

Today's Visuals
Anne Elizabeth Moore and Gabrielle Gambo investigate dozens of horror movies and discover disturbing gender/racial politics (in comic book form)

Click the photo for "The Truly Scary Politics of Horror Movies"

and Todrick Hall has fun with Disney Villianesses in this Chicago spoof "Spell Block Tango" 

Burning Questions: On Perfect Games and "Noah" Jitters

Hey everybody. Michael C. here. Quick question: By your estimation, which directors are currently pitching a perfect game? By which I mean, which filmmakers have yet to make a bad or even a so-so film so far in their career. I can think of three off hand: Spike Jonze, Brad Bird and Darren Aronofsky.

Darren Aronofsky and Logan Lerman on the set of NoahOf course, your mileage may vary on these choices. Right away, I’m sure a lot of you jump ship with The Fountain (Aronofsky), and one could debate whether Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Bird) is a great movie or merely great for a Mission Impossible movie. Feel free to substitute one of your own choices for any of the above. My point isn’t to reopen the debate on these movies. My point is, rarely, if ever, do filmmakers make it through a full career without stumbling at least once, more likely a few times. Even the Coens, who made it nearly two decades without a misstep (Shut up. I like The Hudsucker Proxy), eventually crashed against the rocks with Intolerable Cruelty and The Ladykillers. So when directors are in a golden period where they have yet to step wrong, it’s bittersweet because chances are excellent it is not going to last.

Not that a failure-free career should be an artist’s goal, anyway. If I can paraphrase Laurence Fishburne's sage advice from Searching for Bobby Fischer, you can’t play not to lose. The edge of defeat, that’s where you want to be. I prefer my filmmakers who approach things like Robert Altman. Taking huge, all-or-nothing swings at every pitch, knocking it into the parking lot when he connects, lying flat on his ass when he wipes out.

Take Aronofsky. I can't shake the feeling that his upcoming Noah is a giant miscalculation. 

I’m not looking to tread on anybody’s religion here, but it’s hard to deny the essential silliness of the Noah story, and the recently released first official images did nothing to quiet my concerns. I have tremendous faith in Aronofsky’s ability to raise some impressive Biblical thunder, but at some point Russell Crowe will start marching animals on to a big boat and when that happens it’s going to be difficult to keep a straight face, yes?

 

Chances are excellent Mr. Aronofsky will transform the familiar tale in ways I never anticipated, and when that happens I will shake my head at ever having doubted him. But even if my worst fears are fulfilled, it will still be gratifying to know we still have a cinema where filmmakers are free to indulge in a grand folly now and then.

Can you think of a director to who managed to make it a full career without tripping up? (One could make a strong case for Kubrick. I would disagree) Can someone out there give me reason to look forward to Noah? Let me know in the comments.

Previous Burning Questions
You can follow Michael C. on Twitter at @SeriousFilm. Or read his blog Serious Film