Review: "Alien: Covenant"

This review was originally published in Nathaniel's column at Towleroad

If the famed director Ridley Scott were in art school, his professor would be yanking the paintbrush out of his hand — “it’s perfect, stop adding brush strokes!” His wife probably has to pull spices from his hands as he cooks. If you’ve been playing along with this Hollywood giant’s career you know that he can never leave well enough alone. I’ve lost count of how many “versions” there now are of his early sci-fi masterpiece Blade Runner (1982) and, after years of threats, that film will have a sequel this October, Blade Runner 2049, though Scott opted to pass the directorial reigns over to Denis Villeneuve (Arrival).

Having exhausted returning to that particular sci-fi well, Ridley has moved back even earlier in his career to the film that made him famous, Alien (1979). He’s now directed two prequels to it (Prometheus and now Alien: Covenant) and more films are promised. (Perhaps the controversial ending of 1991’s Thelma & Louise is the only thing that’s kept that film, the third member of his holy trinity of masterworks, free of his tinkering!).

So how’s the new film?

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Shine Bright, Shine Far: The "Life-Size" Sequel We Never Knew We Needed

By Spencer Coile 

Let's journey back to 2000: Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lohan lit up the screen in the Disney Channel Original Film, Life-Size. Banks played Eve, the infamous (not to mention, ficitonal) doll who comes to life to help Casey (Lindsay Lohan) cope with the loss of her mother. In true Disney fashion, the film included zany outfits, the occasional musical number, and of course--picked up a cult following of die-hard tween fans. But for those who thought the story ended 17 years ago, think again. Freeform, the sister studio to Disney Channel, has greenlit Life-Size 2, which is expected to make its television debut in December of 2018 as a part of the studio's "25 Days of Christmas" month. 

Although the film will bring back Banks to play Eve and will supposedly be a modern-day Christmas tale, very little is known about this upcoming project. Namely, if Lindsay Lohan will return. Odds are unlikely, but die-hard fans can dream about this reunion in the meantime. Still, I cannot contain my excitement, and I hope I'm not alone. What say you, Life-Size fans? Do we need a sequel? Or for those who haven't seen the first film, are you left with a general feeling of "huh?" 

Box Office: "Get Out" Won't and "Fate of the Furious" Grows

Get Out, now in its 8th weekend, just refuses to enter the sunken place i.e. the lower echelons of the box office charts. That's a long run already with enormous returns ($183 million worldwide on a $4.5 million budget? It's what all scrappy films dream of!)

But the story of the weekend was the return of the Fast and Furious franchise with film #8 The Fate of the Furious. It grossed an estimated $100 million out of the gate which is significantly lower than its previous Paul Walker farewell entry. But don't cry for it. $100 is still a big big opening weekend and its foreign gross quadruples the American haul so it's already broke a half billion in that first weekend. If the estimates hold it will just barely edge out The Force Awakens as the biggest global opening ever.  I'll just be over hear pretending that that $100 million in the US is audience excitement about Charlize Theron wreaking havoc because we love that badass bitch. The charts are after the jump...

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Three Fittings: Fantastic Beasts' Odd Costume Win

New Series! Three Fittings celebrates costume design in the movies. The number is necessary self-restraint for we love the art of costuming too much.

By Nathaniel R

Dear reader, I didn't think I'd ever need to see Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them (2016). I thought, solid reasoning given the golden trajectory of most franchises, that Oscar would want to move on after a year of regular craft nominations for the series. I thought, surely they'd never hand one of them an actual Oscar if they hadn't done so by now. But in the interest of completism, after Colleen Atwood's generous fourth statue for costuming this particular movie and its bluray release, I caught up. 

I was both impressed and utterly perplexed by what I found.

While Atwood does unusually understated work (for her), there are far fewer costumes than you might expect (approximately one per man, two per woman). Sussing out why they voted for this confident minimalism within a fantasy over more traditional costume perfection in Jackie, the primary color bliss of then-frontrunner La La Land, the erotic glamour of Allied, and the flouncy Most-ness of Florence, proves nearly impossible.

Nevertheless, here are three key looks to discuss:

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Teasing "The Last Jedi"

Click to see the poster largeStar Wars: The Last Jedi opens this December to once again hog all the media attention and all the box office and probably 3 or so Oscar nominations, too. (Here is the new poster to the left.)

The hilariously drama queen thing about the title and Luke Skywalker's pronouncement at the end of the new teaser is that we (i.e. everyone on the planet with any sense) know there will never be a "last" Jedi. Not with literally billions to be made every single year from milking this franchise until no one cares anymore ... an event that surely won't occur in our lifetimes. 

Exhausting as it can be sometimes to live inside a film culture that wants the exact same things annually: two Marvels, two DCs scattered from spring to Fall, a Star Wars movie each Christmas, at least 15 concurrent bi-annual franchises and a few ever-discussed franchises that are infrequent (James Bond for one), Disney has done a bang-up job stoking the fire for annual Star Wars adventures, a fire that would burn bright without any stoking whatsoever!

But they stoke well you must admit. Here is the excellent teaser for The Last Jedi, which is mostly focused on Luke and Rey with a few key shots reminding us of the other players. 

What'cha think?