Oscar History
Film Bitch History
Welcome

The Film Experience™ was created by Nathaniel R. All material herein is written by our team. (This site is not for profit but for an expression of love for cinema & adjacent artforms.)

Follow TFE on Substackd

Powered by Squarespace
Keep TFE Strong

We're looking for 500... no 390 SubscribersIf you read us daily, please be one.  

I ♥ The Film Experience

THANKS IN ADVANCE

What'cha Looking For?
Subscribe
« Rhythm Hunger Nation | Main | Women's Pictures - Kathryn Bigelow's Point Break »
Thursday
Jul092015

Halfway Finale: Eye Candy Highlights

½way mark - part 9 or 9
We conclude our celebration of the Best of 2015 (thus far) with a truly random list of visual highlights. Please to enjoy and do share which of these goodies you were sweetest on. Or propose alternate candy for us to suck on. Ready? Let's unwrap those candies before the next movie begins.

BEST LOOKING SPY
Jude Law in Spy. Prettier than James Bond. And Bond Girls. 

PRETTIEST NIGHTMARE
Mad Max Fury Road's scorched orange earth, colored smoke fares, white faced war boys, smokey eyes foreheads, and more. A visual feast. Just don't expect water with your meal.

AWESOMEST PROPS

Can we give a special Oscar to the props department on Mad Max Fury Road? Chastity belts w/ bolt cutters, detachable custom steering wheels, blood bags and iron masks, flame throwing guitars? Overachievement, thy name is Fury Road

BEST BLUE
Cinderella

BEST RED
Magic Mike XXL 

14 more honors after the jump...

BEST GOLD
Far From the Madding Crowd

BEST GREEN
Cinderella 

MOST INGENIOUS POSTER SERIES
Animals - there was a whole series like this with different drug paraphenalia. It was kind of amazing but I can't find the others. 

GRATUITOUS HAND ACTING
Elizabeth Olsen, Avengers: Age of Ultron 

GRATUITOUS HAIR TENDRIL ACTING
Chris Hemsworth, Blackhat AND Age of Ultron. He puts those follicles to work, baby. So much shape making and punctuation, So much range: anxiety, arousal, just chillin', seduction, distress, fatigue, intense thinking, and man of action windswept madness

GRATUITOUS LIP ACTING
Dakota Johnson, 50 Shades of Grey

BEST LIPS
Tom Hardy, yes... even while trapped and you have to imagine them uncaged.  

BEST DIVERSITY IN CASTING
Blackhat. Chris Hemsworth, Viola Davis, Tang Wei, Wang Leehom, John Ortiz and Holt McAllanny all in the same movie? May I hug casting director Bonnie Timmermann please?

HOTTEST SIBLINGS
Wang Leehom & Tang Wei were lovers last time we saw them together (Lust Caution) but just as believable as siblings this time around (Blackhat

 

HOT ASS
Tuppence Middleton in Jupiter Ascending 

HOT MESS ASS
Eddie Redmayne is terrible in Jupiter Ascending but look at the real-estate-envy views from his cosmic fountain of youth pool!  

 

BADASS
Charlize Theron as "Imperator Furiosa"

 

TIGHT-ASS ?
Both definitions this time since Terminator Genisys is the first time travelling killer Skynet robots movie to be stingy with the butt shots. Damn Hollywood's obsession with PG-13 ratings (though you can still get PG-13 with a butt shot so what's the big idea stiffing us?). We'll have to assume that Jai Courtney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, and Lee Byung-Hung all have tight asses since the movie biffs all four of their time travel sequences. This is especially true of Courtney who, despite TWO very long scenes in which he's meant to be butt-naked, only has about two frames of actual nudity. (*ahem* Not that we were counting.)

MOST ASS - GRATUITY AWARD
Obviously this should go to Magic Mike XXL but instead Europe has to pick up the nudity slack for America (as per usual) so this prize goes to Germany/Brazil's Futuro Beach & France's Saint Laurent, both of which understand that a) people tend to be naked when they have sex and b) they don't generally move solely between strategically placed objects whilst naked.

Futuro Beach

Previously at the Halfway Mark
pt. 1 Oscar Chart Updates - Acting
pt. 2 10 Leading Performances
pt. 3 Best & Worst in Animation 
pt. 4 Most Ubiquitous - Alicia Vikander 
pt. 5 Oscar Chart Updates - Picture 
pt. 6 Supporting Performances 
pt. 7 Top Ten List
pt. 8 Best Screen Animals

 

PrintView Printer Friendly Version

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments (10)

You gave me another reason to skip "Terminator: Who Cares?!" remake.

July 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJaragon

Part 9 of 9. Sorry.

July 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVolvagia

Jaragon -- i know right? i dont think hollywood knows that people like to see butts (see also magic mike xxl) which is a weird thing not to realize, given all the hits songs about them. ;)

July 9, 2015 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

volvagia -- i'm bad at math. fixed.

July 9, 2015 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

I hadn't heard of futuro beach - i now want to see it, badly

July 10, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermatt

You can FedEx Sandy Powell's 4th Oscar right now. She'll tie Canonero.

July 10, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercal roth

Cal -- as long as they both stay ahead of Colleen Atwood i'm okay with that.

July 10, 2015 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

matt -- it's on Netflix Instant Watch

July 10, 2015 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

You are a treasure, Nathaniel

July 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBRB

thanks Nathaniel; Netflix in Australia is pretty basic when it comes to content but I'll check out whether its available.

July 11, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermatt
Member Account Required
You must have a member account to comment. It's free so register here.. IF YOU ARE ALREADY REGISTERED, JUST LOGIN.