Now Streaming (Prime): Rocky, Bond, and Brad as "Joe Black"
Tuesday, November 1, 2016 at 12:11PM It's that time of the month again. Streaming! Here are the new titles on Amazon Prime. As is our practice we'll freeze frame some at random to see what comes up -- no cheating! Will you be watching any of these? Do you remember them?
Russian Coach: He's nothing, he's soft
Swedish Dolph Pretending to be Russian: He's not a man. He is like a piece of iron.
Rocky IV (1985)
Remember when America was totally obsessed with Dick-Measuring with Russia. Oh wait... we're back there again only with a really gross twist (sigh). Side note: Most but not all of the Rocky films are avaiable for streaming but the not all point kind of defeats the purpose doesn't it? See also: James Bond movies.
Speaking of...
Bond: That's a naught little habit, listening at keyholes.
Miss Tara: I wasn't listening. I was looking for those files. Anything that can't be found I get the blame.
Dr No (1962)
Bond wasn't as quick witted dirty in 1962. He doesn't even make a crack about her being on her knees. This was the first official Bond film and it's still one of the better ones, don't you think?
Mia to John: I wanted to have a baby with you.
John to Madonna: We'll continue this later.
John to Mia: But I don't want to have a baby
Mia to John: Oh you are such a pig. You are a pig.
Shadows and Fog (1991)
I haven't seen this since the movie theaters and I really didn't like it at the time. I wonder if it's good and I just wasn't ready or film savvy enough for its homage qualities yet?
P.S. For as brilliant as Mia Farrow often was in Woody's films, he sure cast her as a desperately naggy needy wife too often, didn't he?
P.P.S. This movie's cast is SO weird. Woody began to abandon his repertory company habits (somewhat) for stunt casting around 1989 and his films have definitely suffered for it increasingly since.
I'm not complainin' against ya. It's just there are certain things a man wants from his wife like to be here when he gets home, to cook a meal once in a while, to clean up, and make good love to him...
...
Look I know that's good, okay.
Urban Cowboy (1980)
People who didn't live through the 80s will probably never understand how insanely hot Debra Winger was onscreen at the time. Such a fresh fiery screen presence. The look she gives Travolta here when he implies that he doesn't get enough sex is so perfect and his immediate caving on that particular point is even better. Whenever Travolta is terrifyingly cringey now its good to remember that he was once a riveting and fairly original star onscreen.
-Fucking men!
- Tell me about it.
Death at a Funeral (2007)
The only thing I remember about this movie other than it being terrible was that Alan Tudyk looked really great naked. (Puts "fucking men! tell me about it" into a different context)
You want ninja. I find ninja.
Enter the Ninja (1981)
There is a really hilarious OMINOUS MUSIC CUE right after this line of dialogue. The first two top billed actors are both white Brits tho' so...
-Are you hungry?
-Not anymore.
Meet Joe Black (1998)
She's not hungry, Brad, but she's definitely experiencing THIRST. This moment is followed by a super long drawn out removal of Brad Pitt's clothing which gets as much loving fetishized detail as the act of putting on costumes does for superheroes these days.
P.S. This movie is 3 hours long WTF.
P.P.S. Remember Claire Forlani?
P.P.P.S. This is from the stretch of time in Brad's career (roughly 1994-1998) in which the budget on his highlights alone was probably equal to his salary.
Also Streaming as of November 1st
A View to a Kill
Addams Family Values
Barbershop (2002)
Be Cool
Courage Mountain
Deterrence
Diamonds are Forever
Die Another Day
Erin Brockovich
Fatal Attraction
Fletch (1985)
For Your Eyes Only
From Russia with Love (1963)
Get Shorty
Goldeneye
Goldfinger
Good Advice
Happily N’Ever After (2006)
Happily N’Ever After 2: Snow White
Legally Blonde
Licence to Kill
Live and Let Die
Major League
Man with the Golden Gun
Matilda (1996)
Moonraker (1979)
Never Say Never Again
Octopussy
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Rocky (1976)
Rocky II
Rocky III
Rocky IV
Rocky V
Rollerball (1975)
Rollerball (2002)
Rounders
Shadows and Fog
Terms of Endearment
The Addams Family (1991)
The Conversation
The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane
The Living Daylights
The Spy Who Loved Me
The Switch (2010)
The World Is Not Enough
Thunderball
Tomorrow Never Dies
Top Secret!
Up in the Air (2009)
You Only Live Twice (1967)
Reader Comments (15)
LOL Claire Forlani
Do you want to know how franchises of 20+ movies get started?
Dr. No - best Bond girl/great story/setting
From Russia with Love - great combo of setpieces/girl/villian/story
Goldfinger - best villian/plot/death scene
Thunderball - All time setpiece/best Connery performance
Having those four begin the Bond franchise is the reason we still have them today. All four should be considered for the top 10 of the Bond movies. I personally have Dr. No at #3 and From Russia with Love at #1
Dick Tracy and Shadows and Fog are two consecutive movies Madonna and Kathy Bates costarred in without ever sharing a scene.
I loved Shadows & Fog when I saw it a few years ago, but I seem to be in the extreme minority on that one.
When you say "naked Alan Tudyk", how naked are we talking about?
I had a real piece of iron going on when I set eyes on Drago.
Is it normal to thing of 80's Winger everyday.
Oh God. Meet Joe Black. That movie was so looooooooong and boring. I swear you could edit out the pauses between every...single...line...of...dialogue and easily shave it down to an hour. Tops.
@ forever1267
As naked as Marsden in the remake. ;-)
"Joe Black" is too long one even gets tired of staring at the gorgeous Mr Pitt. "Dr No" has also Connery beefcake on display in his suspenseful encounter with the tarantula.
Debra Winger is one heck of an actress! And will always be even though her roles are now relegated to supporting.
I loved Shadows & Fog when I saw it a few years ago, but I seem to be in the extreme minority on that one.
Claire Forlani is currently appearing in a multi-episode story arc on Hawaii Five-0.
I think Death at a Funeral (both versions, actually) is HILARIOUS. Although the subplot involving Peter Dinklage is a bit... well.... it's not NOT offensive, exactly. But the whole thing is played with mostly good humor, so I didn't mind it.
Don't diss Claire Forlani - she's genuinely great in Meet Joe Black - her scenes with Anthony Hokins are lovely. The movie is a very moving love story between father and daughter.
The love angle between her and Brad Pitt falls flat, because of the fact that he's so incredibly wooden in the film!
I fucking adore Urban Cowboy!