Monthly Calendar of the Oscar Fanatic
by Eurocheese
April – The musings that mean absolutely nothing except for those couple of Sundance films that may go the distance.
May – Maybe the Cannes Palme d’Or winner will win BP? Also, let’s talk in depth about the tech nods so we can discuss that one early blockbuster and make wild guesses about what could beat it.
June – Which summer blockbuster could WIN Best Picture? (Spoiler alert: None.)
July – We have early frontunners...
August – We discuss that one Actress contender in detail as if it will get 10 nominations, and also, films that have no shot in hell at awards love.
September – Early buzz will be FACT (guys, First Man / Ad Astra will take all the awards) and we will slyly add the People’s Choice winner from TIFF to our BP line up because we’re secretly brilliant.
October – All July frontrunners are now dead to us. Also, this movie year is disappointing.
November – Well, maybe it’s not so bad.
December – You know what, it’s actually a decent year! And the Academy is dead to me if it doesn’t nominate the following.
January – Except for that one cool surprise I predicted, the Academy is dead to me.
February – Disappointed. They didn’t pick my all of my favorites. It almost feels like they never do.
March – A month of rest until…
Reader Comments (10)
This is so accurate it hurts.
You forgot "if such-and-such benign, innocuous film wins ANYTHING it will be a victory for oppression and oppressors."
Ha ha ha, this is pretty accurate.
Comedy Gold.
Realistically last year was the best year in many years of Oscar. All my favorites won. I was very pleased. It hasn’t been that way since academy changed from 5 to 8 9 10 movies. This year with all the cashcow at disney they should really think going back to five, having a host nominating the best in film which is usually box office successors
100% accurate
No disappointments in 2019, so far. Year is almost over
Also, you forgot to include when people win critics' prizes "Oh, John Hawkes in Winter's Bone might be the winner" and then, just no. Thank you @eurocheese.
Add Murtada and Nick Davis’s birthdays and I’ll hang it on my fridge.
Amazing - pretty much how every year goes!