Drag Race RuCap: "You Can't Keep A Good Drag Queen Down!"

Like in the last couple of years, Nick Taylor and Cláudio Alves are following and recapping the new RuPaul’s Drag Race season…

Raja, Bob and Kim Chi came back for an unexpected, unexplainable intro.

NICK TAYLOR: Happy New Year, everyone!! Can you believe it’s already time for another season of Drag Race? Season 18 premiered this Friday, and I had a great fuckin’ time. The cast seems uniformly entertaining, and the challenges felt like the best kind of throwback to earlier seasons while still feeling right for 2026. In short, this was a great introduction to these divas, and I’m excited to spend four months watching them on my TV. RuCap OVER.

Oh wait, what did you think, Cláudio?

CLÁUDIO ALVES: I’m mostly glad they’re not all baby queens. We actually have a pretty seasoned cast after last year’s youth revolution. Multiple divas are even older than me! What a concept!!...

Maybe because of that, there’s a sense of preparedness to this batch we haven’t seen in a while, with no particular contestant seeming out of their depth, even the youngest and greenest of them. Many are veteran performers, professional dancers, costume makers, folks who can sew and kill a lip sync. At least, that’s the impression we get from how they introduce themselves and talk about each other. In other words, as far as I’m concerned, the vibes were immaculate. So, congrats to the casting department. 

I’ve seen grumblings online about this being the first time in years when the main season cast is bereft of trans representation, but to that, I say “give it time.” We never know when there are eggs a-cracking. Maybe, by the end of this journey, we’ll already have heard Kerri Colby’s “another one thank you” echo in the distance. Whatever the case, I like these gals and want to see how they evolve within and outside the show, especially as I’ve been a bit more disconnected from the pre-premiere buzz and promo tour than I usually am by this point in most Drag Race seasons.

You know what I wasn’t especially fond of? That weird blackout intro. Do we think that’s just some bit of WOW silliness or is there another idiotic twist in our future? 

NICK: There is still time! I’m honestly more bummed about there being only one East Asian queen AGAIN this season, and your cultural heritage can’t really change after competing. Sorry Ginger. The blackout bit felt like nothing more than a gag intro, and unless we get another power outage before the eliminated queens pull a January 6th on the Werkroom halfway through the season, I’m not expecting more from it.

We’re on the same page as far as this slate of queens. I also haven’t absorbed much promotional material aside from bits of Joey Nolfi’s interviews. The combined pedigree is astonishing, and though some queens do seem closer to the exit than others, none of these girls strike me as hopelessly unprepared or destined to make the finale. Still, one contestant emerges immediately as this episode’s protagonist, so without further ado - let’s meet the queens!

First under the spotlight is Athena Dion, tied for season 18’s second-oldest contestant at 38 years young. She’s an entertainer, hostess, and costume designer, prolific throughout Florida and Greece. A drag mother to many and a grandmother to, well, don’t call her a grandma. Out of drag Athena gives relaxed, suntanned Q, while her painted mug reminds me a good bit of TS Madison. Love her golden owl and her gigantic wig. The black-and-white robes with the golden bracelets and halo are a fitting tribute to the goddess Athena and a great statement of Mama Dion’s style. She’s got the assuredness of a queen who knows she’s hot shit and the experience under her belt to back it up.

CLÁUDIO: I’m not sure if you just gave Q the biggest compliment or if you’re trying to shade hot granny over here. Anyway, I love her already, and not just because of the out-of-drag eye candy. The imperiousness of a veteran entertainer, the old-school glam of her costume, the winner energy - it’s all working for me. My only quibble this early in the game is that I’m not sure I love her mug. It looks perhaps a bit harsh? Then again, these were not ideal lighting conditions for appreciating the makeup artistry.

Next enters Kenya Pleaser, a plus-size diva from South Carolina. Love her name, love her vibe, love the color story of this disco number, love how she presents herself in the confessionals. This is a fun gal, and I can’t wait to see her charm her way into our hearts. Not sure I’m as enthused about how Lizzo-esque she paints her face. I know Kenya mentioned her work as an impersonator - the start of her drag career! - but it feels like the kind of thing bound to inspire some nasty judging down the line. I can already hear Michelle asking for more versatility. 

NICK: You were talking about harsh lighting conditions - Kenya looked like she was sweating bullets whenever they cut away to her under that heat lamp. And still she entertained, like any true professional would. Kenya’s such a force of personality, and she knows how to captivate an audience in good drag and bad drag alike. I’m so excited to see her Lizzo on Snatch Game. Do you think she actually knows how to play the flute?

After her is Nini Coco, strutting around in a slutty rain slicker and a rainbow headpiece with clouds over her ears. She looks the camera up and down like a bird before shouting “GAY!!” and RuVealing a rainbow-patterned bodysuit. It’s not my favorite look, but the many earrings hanging off the clouds as raindrops is an inspired move, and I love her mug. Nini lashes are insane. Maybe she learned how to craft them at her mechanical engineering job? She seems like a big fan of unusual, eye-catching structures. The way she looks like that sad twink from The Pitt out of drag is a huge plus. 

CLÁUDIO: I watched the episode after you this week, so I came to it with some of your DM commentary already coloring my viewing experience. And let me tell you, that comment about who Nini looks like out of drag didn't leave my mind for a minute. She really is yassified Dennis Whitaker. In other words, cute as fuck but also giving the vibes of some soul-deep sadness cum exhaustion. Hell, she's so cute I almost got on board with colored lashes as a valid choice. Almost, but not quite.

Jane Don't is the next queen in the Werq room and she's very… Seattle. How could she be anything else when her drag family tree includes Bosco and Irene the Alien. Then again, she also looks a little bit like a more fashionable Jinkx Monsoon. It's like you put all those Pacific Northwest girls in a blender and added some sewing skills for flavor. Oh yes, like many of these contestants, Miss Don't is a talented costume maker. I'm over the moon to see so many girls coming into the show PREPARED for design challenges. It was starting to feel like a rarity for a while there. 

NICK: Her mug reminds me a little of The Vivienne, as if her and Jinkx’s rivalry on AS7 morphed into a human woman. Her entrance look is proof enough of her sartorial talents, and the way she modeled it like her joints were rusted stiff was a great gag. One of the only Meet the Queens snippets I saw was Kenya and Myki Meeks doing identical impressions of Jane, much like half of last season’s queens tap danced to make fun of Suzie, so I’m already primed for this old-school comedienne to do A Lot.

Still, if you want a broad whose brand is dark, high-fashion costume design, you have your girl with Discord Addams. The second Florida girl to hit the Werqroom, Discord saunters in with a plaid-on-plaid-on-checkerboard punk ensemble capped off with a gigantic flail, blond bangs, and a beehive. It’s a lot on a lot, and I think she lands on the right side of maximalism to pull it off. The high-femme makeup and pregnant pearl necklace are a nice, soft counterbalance to all that edge. She’s got an Acid Betty vibe, though the question remains whether her bitchy, dismissive attitude represents a committed character or a haughty artist.

CLÁUDIO: I’m not sure the Patsy Stone ocelot wig goes with the Westwood-y pattern mixing of the outfit - courtesy of Discord’s drag queen boyfriend - or if either coordinates well with the cartoon-proportioned flail she’s using as a purse alternative. There’s a thin line separating maximalism from outright chaos and I’m afraid she’s crossed it. At the same time, it’s such an arresting mismatch that one can’t help but be enthralled by this bitchy twink with an attitude. She has certainly primed herself to be the villain of the season.

Mia Starr brings a wholly different energy, coming to the show as a veteran performer who’s already shared the stage with many a pop star and legend. She and Athena feel like peers the moment you see them together, though the Star girl’s aesthetic is less polished. Like for many a queen with an athletic boy bod, proportions are everything, and I’m not sure Mia has mastered the art of proportionizing. The denim outfit feels bulky, unbalanced by a too-petite wig. That said, the prospect of watching this trained dancer kill a lip-sync or dance challenge, maybe even the Rusical, has me salivating in anticipation. 

NICK: A third Florida girl!! Learning she left drag to become a professional dancer, touring with some of the most famous musicians in the world, is among the most intimidating flexes a queen has ever uttered in a premiere episode. She’s 39 and she can dance like that? What a babe. Her outfit would absolutely benefit from some proportionizing - someone call Sapphira Cristál! - but the mug is fun and Mia comes across as very down to earth. I’m excited to see her flaunt her stuff.

Next into the building is DD Fuego, season 18’s only NYC queen and the first entrance look I’m underwhelmed by. Mostly it’s the scarf(?), which looks like one of those drain cleaning brushes. I may not believe her claim about serving high fashion, but her energy is infectious, and her makeup is unexpectedly transformative - the proportions of her face just look better in drag. Is that too mean?

CLÁUDIO: I kinda love her face out of drag. Sure, this sounds mean, but that’s a visage that looks as if it were designed for animation, perchance a sculpture for reference in a new Pixar film. And she does a good job of taking her natural angularity into the drag. Everything in this entrance lewk feels sharp, down to that wrap, which is making me cringe. It must have been so uncomfortable. I do question her apparent love for flat, pale-blonde units with blunt-cut styling. And also, it must be said, there’s a considerable rift between what her outfit is selling and she’s giving, personality-wise. The fashion is giving cut-throat, the character is suggesting a sweetheart early out. Oh no, I’m back to mean. Sorry, DD.

For the first time in Drag Race herstory, we’ll have a matriarch competing against her own drag granddaughter. Connected to Athena through Kirby Almighty, the great Morphine, Juicy Love Dion is a vision of burlesque frilliness. The costume is to die for, the mug is maybe even more impressive than her mother’s, and the out-of-drag face just took my breath away. This cast is full of cuties. That said, this drag baby is reminding me a bit too much of Lana from last year, with an added note of brattiness that can turn from endearing to annoying real fast. 

NICK: It’s funny how 24-year-old Juicy wouldn’t look out of place in almost any previous cast, yet this year she’s the babiest of the bunch in age and appearance by a good mile. She’s so fucking gorgeous, and her fame as a dancer has made her much-anticipated online as a possible lip sync assassin. I see the Lana comparison, but Juicy comes across as a little more experienced, used to wearing clothing. What will be new for Juicy??

After the babiest girl comes a seasoned pageant queen and costume designer. Vita Vontesse Starr enters the Werqroom in a regal ensemble of cheetah prints and gold jewels and a gigantic cape. It’s a bit disconcerting how much lighter her drag mug is than her actual skin tone, but it’s my one quibble with a queen who otherwise presents Big Winner Energy from head to toe. Again, it’s so lovely to see a queen with titles and talent out the wazoo in seasoned company, and treating her castmates as real competition. 

CLÁUDIO: That aggressive nose contour and drag pallor will be hard to get used to. But, apart from that, Vita stays true to her name - she is a Starr!!! That outfit, which she made herself, is to die for. Right on the border of tackiness, it’s balanced and perfectly executed, so it remains in the realm of camp chic (an oxymoron, but you get me). I wish the cape were lined in red to match the cascading beads on the front and wig details, yet it’s a minor complaint. She feels like a threat for the crown from the moment she steps into frame, and it seems the other girls get the same vibe. Indeed, between Discord and Nina, the seamstress extraoirdinaires are already eying each other, assessing the competition.

Briar Blush is a break from all that regality. Her drag is cute, giving us doll-like beauty with some Boston grit and a 60s aesthetic. I’m not too enthused about this Pop Art getup, but again, it’s cute, and Briar sells it with plenty of confidence. She’s almost cocky in that entertaining diva fashion we love to see in queens, and it must be acknowledged how her mug looks impeccable even under these less-than-ideal lighting conditions. 

NICK: I’ve decided that her confessional look is this year’s Queer Coffee Shop Regular. Love the mug, love her standing at the front of the welcome table like she’s about to send troops into battle, though I agree the outfit is more fun as an idea than a finished look. I bristle against her attitude a little, but she can take a punch as good as she gives them. A truly unflappable queen. We’ve seen divas whose brattiness gets knocked down a peg real quick, but I don’t think Briar fits that standard.

If you like your fruits fruity, have I got a queen for you: Mandy Mango! Dressed in a pretty solid Nurse Joy cosplay with a jewel-encrusted mango in hand, the outfit becomes a lot more fun once we learn she’s a registered nurse. Still, the look doesn’t fit the “abstract” label she gives herself, and I feel slightly bummed the season’s sole East Asian queen is a fruit-themed kook. We’re used to archetypes and regional variants of drag repeating themselves across seasons, but this shit is inviting Nymphia Wind comparisons before we even see her compete - comparisons that might be dispelled if they could find more than one East Asian drag queen per season. If nothing else, Mandy seems like an absolute joy, and is so hot out of drag.

CLÁUDIO: So hot! Really, this entire cast is one of the hottest in the franchise’s history. And I guess that’s the last compliment I’m going to pay Mandy Mango. Well, that’s not true, because this nurse seems to be as sweet as her name implies. I’m just not in love with the drag, the polysatin cosplay of it all, the apparent lack of a cogent artistic point of view - nothing she served this episode was as heady or abstract as what she described in her intro confessional.

Ciara Myst is an Indianapolis queen with big features and even bigger drag, her face painted into a grotesque distortion through some weird-ass lipstick design. Her whole presentation is a lot, suggesting a Halloween queen, complete with burnt jack-o-lanterns as pseudo paniers. She seems very enthusiastic, and the glimpses we get of her work with prosthetics make me curious about what she might bring to the runway this season.

NICK: It’s a great statement piece. I’m fascinated by Ciara’s mug, especially those crazy lips, and if we keep getting runways as outré and exciting as her entrance look I’ll be very happy. Do you think she sent a tape to the Boulet Brothers? I bet she did.

Darlene Mitchell almost certainly didn’t audition for Dragula, and thank goodness for that. We appreciate a corny diva, particularly one who went through such a total transformation of her early drag persona once she became sober. She’s got grits! I’m totally shocked to see a bedroom queen who’s a grown adult woman rather than an infant like Sugar and Spice - Drag Race is probably the best way to still perform indoors for a massive audience, but I think it counts as getting the drag out of the house. I’m glad Darlene looks like she’s enjoying being back on the performance circuit for season 18’s promotional tour. 

CLÁUDIO: Her story is fascinating, alright, and I’m very interested in seeing more of it as the season unravels. For now, Darlene seems adorably self-aware of how her persona comes across and that’s a good thing, even if some might quibble with the character she’s presenting. I like this country drag by way of West Hollywood - where out-of-drag Darlene must be really popular by the looks of it - and feel like she’s going to be a lot of fun. If she’s not eaten alive by the other bitches that is.

Finally, our last contender is what would happen if Maisie Williams took testosterone and somehow turned American during the transition. Myki Meeks is another Florida queen and she describes herself as gorgeously stupid, stupidly gorgeous - a combo I can get behind. The diva looks cute and tiny and surprisingly old-school in her stretch velvet  mini dress with ostrich feather trim, all dyed to match.

NICK: We love a comedy queen who doesn’t style their drag persona as twice their actual age. Myki seems like a funny gal, and her deep violet ensemble is just ravishing. She’s not the only queen with hosting experience but she’s the only one who lists it as her most senior talent. 

Fuck, how did we spend this long writing up the entrances. But now they’re all here! They finally meet RuPaul herself, and in a shocking coincidence, the lights are back on!! I’m not sure which development the girls are more excited about. Drag can light up the world even in the darkest times, and while I hope this aphorism isn’t the most explicitly political Ru gets this season, it’s a great start.

And from here we go to an even better start, with the seasons first mini-challenge! The queens are photographed on a set with spooky lighting and menacing columns, flanked by Pit Crew members dressed in Eyes Wide Shut masks. The queens have a fabulous time choreographing how all those sexy, muscular, oiled-up men should scare them to death. Kenya wins this as soon as she starts performing spirituals on the Pit Crew, but pretty much everyone is a hoot. I loved Briar having the men pretend to rip her apart, and Athena just basking in the men’s bodies. Frankly, I liked the filmmaking of this more than I expected to - switching between queens as the camera rotates past the columns is a neat maneuver. Almost as neat as Ru saying Nini Coco resembled "Alisha Edwards."

CLÁUDIO: Since season 14, I’ve been noticing a significant elevation in terms of camerawork and editing. It’s nice. But not as nice as being surrounded by those greasy, shiny hunks. What a lovely photoshoot idea, though I guess it’d be difficult to pantomime terror in such an alluring scenario. Though in Twisters, they did say that you don’t face your fears, you ride them. And the queens looked like they wanted to ride the muscly mob, so maybe they were projecting fear.

Anyway, back on the Werq Room, the queens de-drag and everyone assesses the hotness on display from some contenders, including daddy Athena and that gorgeous Mango man. But there’s not much time to ponder on thirst because Mama Ru is back with this premiere’s maxi challenge. Unlike the verses and talent shows of recent vintage, we’re going back to basics with an unconventional materials sewing challenge. The premise centers on (supposed) trash left over from previous design episodes, which the queens will have to repurpose into looks that sell “signature drag.”

The girls descend on that garbage like piranhas, but somehow, some girls end up without fabric in their bounty. And there were many textiles on display. For some, like Miss Coco, that is deliberate - she wants to redeem LaLaRi’s paper bag disaster by applying her mechanical engineering skills. For others, like Kenya, it’s a miscalculation. This South Carolina diva knows how to sew, but the unconventional material part of the challenge brief is tripping her up, especially when her hat-brim flounce comes apart off-screen.

This is very mean, but Kenya’s breakdown while wearing a dainty little plastic tiara provided a very funny visual. I wanted to hug her, but I was also giggling. 

NICK: I’m shocked more queens didn’t follow Nini’s route and riff on a specific garment from herstory. So many iconic Drag Race accessories or fabrics got Glup Shitto’d - Lexi’s tarp, Hormona’s bob, Vivacious’s headpiece - and none of them were used or referenced in a queen’s finished piece. Maybe the line between inspiration and ripping off was too thin, but it would’ve been fun! Another fun part is how Ru stays purposefully ambiguous about whether this will be an elimination challenge or not. She wants the girls scared! 

Kenya gave Pangina being eliminated from UK vs the World in that golden WINNER slot machine. Hilarious but genuinely heartbreaking. I had a similar but less extreme reaction to Juicy’s utter helplessness at being faced with a sewing machine. She wields her baby privileges like a finely honed blade, and in no time DD and Jane are taking turns guiding Juicy through essentials like how to thread a needle. The actual kicker is when Athena, who recently took 25 sewing classes in preparation for this very moment, decides to concentrate on her own garment and leave her grandbaby to fend for herself. It’s cutthroat as hell, but as Mama Dion says, you have to fix your own oxygen mask in a plane crash before helping your children put theirs on. 

Vita has a lot more fun than any of these women. Part of her MO as a costumer is taking the time to sit with her materials and let them speak to her, and she’s carrying out the same plan of attack with the elegant black-and-white parasols she’s recovered. Working to create pageant-ready extravagance from found materials speaks powerfully to Vita as emblematic of her own personal narrative as a drag artist, and you can tell nailing this challenge means a lot to her. Discord goes hard on an all-black ensemble defined by animal prints and ostrich feathers. She’s chosen to establish how dark her style is against colorful queens like Jane Don’t, who’s chosen to go for pastels while incorporating as many different textiles into her finished garment. Jane is also one of several queens to pick shower curtains as her base material, in hope of finding a middle ground between unconventional and easily workable materials.

CLÁUDIO: I’m not a big fan of the show falling into self-referential solipsism, so I honestly appreciated that the girls didn’t stick too closely to the Drag herstory this entire episode is playing off of. However, it must be said that this lack of a clear directive leaves the queens working on wildly different projects with no unifying theme or concrete throughline. Briar, for instance, is going for a burlesque catgirl fantasy that, truth be told, seems fun but not especially impressive from a design standpoint. That’s better than Athena’s creation, which looks awfully messy on that dress form. I don’t blame Miss Blush for trying to shade the older stateswoman of drag, but she does get out-cunted rather decisively. You don’t get to where Athena is, career-wise, without knowing how to read a bitch to filth.

Indeed, the Dion matriarch dominates this week’s mirror moments, coming out as the voice behind that video of Lindsay Lohan partying in Mykonos. The edit treats this as something major, but I guess I’m not well-versed in this particular side of gay online nonsense to appreciate it. 

NICK: Fair point on the tricky self-referential slope the queens could have fallen down. I had no idea Athena was actually Greek, so she’s even cooler to me now than she already was. 

You know who’s also cool? RuPaul, who struts the runway in a kickass minidress made out of black belts with fierce winged eyeliner and a platinum blonde lunge at alt drag I’m mostly a fan of. She looks fab, though much like the bulbous skull of American Dad’s Roger, the sheer volume of her updo is best appreciated when not viewed from the direct front. Still, she’s outdone by guest host Cardi B in a dragged-up take on Jade from Mortal Kombat. Cardi’s giddy as fuck to be there, and her enthusiasm translates fully to a stellar judging spot. Today’s category is Reclaim, Renew, Rejoice, and without further ado the queens are ready to strut their stuff!

First on the runway is Ciara Myst, doing what appears to be a riff on one of Mystique’s costumes from the comics. It’s a solid start to the category - I particularly love her using umbrella hooks as elongated nails. The limited color palette helps it pop as a comic book villainess, and though I like Ciara’s runway, I’m not wowed by it.

CLÁUDIO: Those nails are a neat trick, reminiscent of Alaska’s futuristic runway for All Stars 2, with a more comic book twist that made me think of Brooke Lynn Hytes winning look in the similarly themed season 11 opener. Sadly, I don’t think Myst benefits from such comparisons. Her look is fun but sloppy, begging for editing and a wig that doesn’t clash with the general aesthetic and alien skintone as much as this one does. Still, great gloves!

For a hot second, I thought Ariel Versace had found her way back to Drag Race. But it isn’t so, because this is Athena Dion modeling a nasty downgrade from her entrance glam. This is unexpectedly juvenile, and Briar was right in Untucked, for juxtaposing sheer pink fabric material over a green base dulls both colors, taking away from the vibrancy that should pop for this Barbie fantasy to make any lick of sense.

NICK: It’s an unexpected whiff. You’ve talked about a lot of rightful negatives, so I’ll just say her giant bow and even more gigantic blonde tresses look pretty nice! The mug works, can’t say the rest does.

Still, Athena has the benefit of going right before Kenya Pleaser, who is aware she’s modeling a bad look and is still trying to turn the party. Using her flounce like she’s a Dilophosaurus is a great gag, but it’s not enough to save her and she knows it. I’m more surprised the mug is so underwhelming. Kenya doesn’t look bad, but the outfit is dragging her proficient hair and makeup down to the level of that horrible excuse for a skirt. 

CLÁUDIO: What a catastrophe of a look. The idea isn’t bad, but the execution is slapdash, reeking of flopsweat and despair. As you point out, Kenya knows this well and tries to make up for it with a radiant runway presentation - it almost works. I also think her Dilophosaurus move was a way to compensate for a collar that just kept collapsing under its own weight. All in all, I fully believe this Pleaser girl is a star, but she was lucky there were no eliminations this episode.

Nini Coco comes next, and she’s also doing a skirt with a bustier built on top of a pre-existing bra. It’s a very impressive feat of fashioning paper into a runway-worthy ensemble, with that orange popping beautifully. However, I feel it mostly works from one specific angle and that the back is worse than unresolved - it’s ugly. Would have also avoided the cool-toned accessories, though I get wanting to avoid the clichéd, clashing gold. That mug is major, however, and I’m over the moon that the one spiky paper lash as an accent piece is back on trend after its heyday circa All Stars 4. 

NICK: We’ve had this conversation about previous design challenge wins going undeservedly to twinks slapping whatever the fuck on their bodies, and  I don’t disagree about the back being basically nothing. But literally everything else is just majestically constructed. I unabashedly love Nini’s look, both because it’s never mistakable as traditional fabrics and because (as with Dawn’s Neo-Gothic bit) I just love watching a bitch engineer herself a cool-ass outfit. The lashes continue to enthrall.

The hits just keep coming with Jane Don’t bringing a spray-painted tie-die ensemble so chic she won that largely terrible runway from season 15. Hell, it’s the best of several pink-forward moments happening on this stage (hi Athena!). The floral shoulder pads are such a fun way to distinguish the jacket, and the sculpted pink wig with her hat just askew tops this perfectly. I bet you’re over the moon about Jane’s shoes actually complimenting her outfit.

CLÁUDIO: Near perfection, even if I’m not too enthused about the color story - I’m not a pastel guy, sorry. My two quibbles are that the breast cups are both too small from the front and too spacious from the side, since she decided to eschew a boob plate. I also feel her hips could have been more pronounced to accentuate the hourglass shape and counterbalance the shoulders crowned by that flower regalia. Still, it’s so good, like someone attending the Royal Ascot was attacked by graffiti artists on her way to the stands. And yes, good shoes - hallelujah!

It’s interesting that Discord kept complaining about the judges liking Nini’s look better than hers, because, to me, they are a perfect pair for direct comparison. Both queens embraced their unconventional materials, but while Nini transformed her paper bags, Discord relied on the inherent drama of the pampas grass as is. Her costume is more to my taste, and it actually looks like something she might have brought from home. Still, it’s difficult to appreciate the construction as it all looks rather simple. Mostly, this is a styling triumph that avoids Miss Coco’s back issue. Indeed, I think the addition of those chains actually makes Discord’s outfit better from the rear. It must be said, the bitch needs to work on that crunchy runway walk.

NICK: The walk is hysterical, and I feel bad for the idea that she missed the top three because of it. Great accessorizing, great selection of materials, though I admit the lack of an obvious transformative element keeps me from being as excited about what Discord’s serving as you are. Still fierce as fuck, and the fact that Discord demands Cardi explain why she missed the top three as soon as she’s able to in Untucked is cunt behavior in the best way.

Mia Starr gives us our second black-and-white moment of the evening, and it’s okay! You know Kenya was watching her frills and skirt with the saddest eyes. I don’t love how the corset makes her middle look like its own Lego block - again, the proportions seem off - but her use of materials and checkerboard color story otherwise works for me. The pussycat wig is not my favorite. 

CLÁUDIO: It’s shit glued to a corset and a bedazzled bra. Not a fan of the execution - the safety pin holding the straps on the back - and the styling with the mismatched boots makes my eyes twitch. Still, a safe enough effort, dime-store Cardi B, with a nice wig choice and a bouncy walk that hides the design’s insufficiencies.

Brand new Betsey Johnson collaborator DD Fuego is serving Pride float fashion crossed with a baked potato. The idea has merit, though I’m not sure the foil moves as well as it should, conveying a stiffness that’s antithetical to the queen’s flowy and flouncy modelling. All in all, a perfectly safe look crowned by another severe wig I’m not in love with. The rainbow nails are a cute touch.

NICK: Oh I couldn’t stand this. This is a bathing suit with a tin foil cape. Maybe not an actively offensive creation, but this is just nothing. Big points to whichever sound editor played up the sound of DD’s aluminum foil crinkling whenever she walked around in Untucked.

I’ll say this for Juicy: the mug is incredible. No notes. But this is barely an outfit otherwise. I can see what there is to like about the ruched brazier and those little cape things flowing in the breeze, but even that little kineticism underlines how little is going on anywhere else. Bad necklace. And those hideous bottoms kill the vibe completely. Was this what Jane and DD helped her with? 

CLÁUDIO: She’s lucky she’s pretty. I almost think simply making a bikini bottom would have been better than that half-assed skirt thing. The upper half looks very pretty in movement, though, and, from the neck up, Juicy hit it out of the park. Love the barretted headwrap.

Sheer perfection, no notes. The more I look at it, the more I love Vita’s immaculate creation, from the graphic quality she got out of the umbrella stripes to the commitment to that mirror trim, the sculptural quality of the flounces and the use of disco balls as structural elements keeping the fabric in the correct configuration. In one episode, this pageant queen managed to put every single queen from last season to shame. We need to go back to Nymphia Wind to get such a sensational design challenge triumph. 

NICK: It’s an incredible outfit. You’ve said pretty much everything I’d want to, but seriously, the sheer elegance of this umbrella dress is magnificent. She transformed those found materials into something utterly singular.

There’s a lot going on with Briar Blush’s ensemble, to the point where I believe part of her design was to have these contrasting elements bristle against each other. Or maybe I’m trying to rationalize an intriguing outfit that seems out of sync with itself. Kitten ballerina princess is a fine idea, sure, and hearing Briar describe how she constructed different pieces makes me appreciate the labor put into it, but this could be streamlined! Safe is the exact right placement for her sturdy execution of a cluttered look.

CLÁUDIO: So cluttered! I wish I could rip away that tutu-esque nonsense around her waist just so we could get a better idea of the bitch’s shape. She’s telling some sort of story, which is a plus, yet the whole package is a tad too convoluted. Hate the tights, love the headpiece, could do without the groin chandelier fringe.

As much as Kenya’s creation was catastrophic, I might actually loathe this Mandy Mango original even more. Nothing works here besides the relative cuteness on display. Ugly, ungainly, ill-fitting to the point it looked like it was sliding off her body for most of the time she was on stage. Also, looking at that skirt, I can’t think of anything other than Shangela’s snowman fantasy fiasco from season 3 - not a compliment!

NICK: I want to give her credit for actually having an idea, which I can’t say applies to DD Fuego’s baked potato. But as you said, it’s lumpy and unflattering to Mandy’s silhouette.

Darlene Mitchell is much more successful at realizing a fertile idea. She takes her bedroom queen history and makes it into cute, sexy sleepwear ready for the runway. The blonde unit is major, and while it’s not breaking any molds, she looks absolutely stunning. Does her mug remind you of Jade Jolie, or is it just me? 

CLÁUDIO: Her mug is honestly the only thing that’s not working for me about this delightfully tacky design. The fuzzy babydoll with a hem that stops just short of her crotch, the eye mask with the “Zzz,” the teddy bear purse - it’s all so well-realized. She looks like a collector’s doll with a risqué cum cartoon-y concept. Honestly, I would have probably put her in the top three over Nini.

Finally, we get to the fourteenth and last queen. It’s a pity the runway doesn’t end on a higher note, but Myki’s frock with a cape is perfectly serviceable. The curtains are pretty and well-deployed despite some roughness around the edges. The back piece would have been major with an extra yard of fabric, and the skirt needed some finishing. Great shoes, the hoops are fun, yet this never goes beyond safe. 

NICK: Learning the “Academy Award winning Myki Meeks” line was referencing an unaired joke Ru made is very funny to me. An inside joke for everyone with half the context missing. “Serviceable” is the exact right term for this. Like if one of the Von Trapp kids got first dibs at chopping the curtains into clothes before Maria.

Two sets of fourteen runways, and finally the judging. Our top three are Nini Coco, Jane Don’t, and Vita Vontesse Starr, while Kenya Pleaser, Juicy Love Dion, and Mandy Mango make up the bottoms. I would have swapped DD into the bottom for Mandy, who was in so little of the premiere she never struck me as a candidate for elimination despite everything lumpy about her wicker basket. Discord and Athena are plucked as fuck about not making the top, and as we learn in Untucked, Miss Addams is specifically incensed about Nini’s placement. Juicy looks like a deer in headlights next to Kenya’s grim acceptance of her fate, and Mandy appears more or less collected without being happy with any of this. 

She even withstands Cardi’s most withering critiques, which is no mean feat! I’m more or less in agreement with the judge’s assessments of these six designs, especially since they like Nini as much as I do, along with giving the divas on the gallows an appropriate amount of pity without sugarcoating their disappointment at the hideous skirt convention happening here.

Cardi brings some good wisdom to the girls - her advice to Kenya about turning up the glam when the fit isn’t serving is so great. While all the tops get their flowers and more, you can tell the judges are so dazzled by Vita’s umbrella-ella-ellas. Her victory is almost as certain as Kenya having to lip sync. And yet, while the girls sweat it out in Untucked, I can’t help but noticing that Ru has been very coy about whether this premiere will have a top 2 or bottom 2 lip syncing. What were you expecting to happen, bestie? 

CLÁUDIO: The coyness was a bit annoying at the end there, but it’s an understandable “twist.” I guess I should feel happy for Kenya and Mandy, who would’ve rightfully been the bottom two - sorry, Nick, I know you love the nurse. Mostly, I feel sorry for Vita. In a normal episode, she’d have been the obvious victor, yet, because of this premiere’s format, she has to lip-sync for the win against Nini. Personally, I’d have placed Jane against our umbrella queen, but this result isn’t as outrageous as Discord would have you believe.

Sidenote: We actually got a glimpse of the Untucked lounge/staged backstage during the premiere, with Cardi B introducing the queens to her hair and makeup goddesses, two trans artists who have no qualms about crediting drag as an inspiration for the pop star’s aesthetic. It’s fair to say that, even if this is season 18’s first episode, I’ll be very surprised if any other guest judge reached Cardi’s level. She was amazing and refreshingly unafraid to be critical when it was warranted. Again, sorry to Mandy and her fans.

Back to the competition proper, Nini and Vita perform to the sound of Cardi’s own “Enough (Miami)” and it’s a decisive win for the younger queen. The orange pinecone knew all the lyrics, made sure the camera noticed her articulation and, overall, brought the right energy for the number. Vita was less superlative, holding on to her one intact umbrella for far too long before rolling on the floor for no discernible reason. It was obvious that her movements were limited by the long skirt, not to mention the disco balls that started popping off and littering the stage. Maybe I’m imagining things, but there was a moment there when the diva actually seemed to lose her grip on the words. While I don’t think Nini’s design deserved the win, she won this battle hands down.

NICK: Nini owned that shit decisively, securing her victory at least half a dozen times before the song ends. Can’t imagine a better “fuck you” to the queens talking shit than her pointing at the back of the stage during “there’s no trusting these sluts”. Not counting the $5000 she wins, obvs. Every cutaway to Cardi lip syncing with the queens and getting her life was so joyous. I need her back on the show ASAP.

Hopefully Vita will secure herself a challenge win very soon. She clearly talented as fuck, and I have to imagine she’s sticking around for a good while. Next week (tomorrow) is Girl Groups, so expect the many dancers and choreographers to stage some nasty proxy wars. I’m so excited to see what the queens do!

Comments

[DAVID S]

Dare I say this is the best Ru has looked on the Runway in years? Nice to see her step out of her comfort zone of mermaid dress silhouettes and into some edgier. Well done!

Also, thank God they didn't do the obligatory talent show into. This show was running the risk of getting stale with a capital S. Nice to see the producers switching things up a bit. I think they are seeing how fresh THE TRAITORS is in its 4th season and stepping their game up.

LOVING the amount of queens over 30 this season.